There is so much confusion around the addiction of cutting. It's hard for some people to understand why you, or someone you know, would repeatedly harm themselves on purpose. I want to break through the confusion and help those who practice cutting as a way of life. I've heard a lot of people say, why would anyone do such a thing as purposely cause pain to their bodies? So, let's begin to uncover the reasons why so many people cut themselves.
Most People Cut to Cover an Even Deeper Emotional Pain
As I have talked with hundreds of people that self-harm, one major reason emerges over and over again: Most people cut themselves to try to cope with an even deeper emotional pain. If you or anybody you know is cutting, please understand cutting is a way of covering something much deeper and painful going on inside.
Cover Self-Hate
An anonymous blogger put it this way: I used to cut because I felt like it was the only way to feel something other than the hurt and confusion and self-hate that was driving me insane. I would cut because I hated myself so much that I wanted to tear myself to pieces.
Cover Past Trauma
Most cutters' ability to cope with life is overwhelmed by powerful emotions or extreme pressure that seem too intense to bear. Jenessa said she's been a cutter for 7 years. I was sexually abused by someone very close to me. I started cutting because I always thought that what happened was my fault. I have never gotten over it, so I used to cope with any problem I had by cutting. Taking it out on myself was so much easier than figuring out what to do emotionally.
Can't Express Emotional Pain
When these emotions aren't dealt with, tension builds up. Cutting can feel like a release of this tension. Rachel said cutting is a way for her to deal with her pain: It's an escape from reality. No matter how temporary it is it's a relief to escape all the pain.
Most cutters struggle to express their pain to others. Without the words or outlet to express their emotional pain, they give into a short cut, a destructive physical expression toward themself. Laken said cutting is her first reaction when she feels disappointment or difficulty. When I fail a test, when I get in a fight, when I am called a mean name, or when anything bad happens the first thought is to cut. It is horrible and I always fall back on it.
The physical pain has a calming effect on her more agonizing emotional pain. Cutting is the treating of one pain with another. A cutter's life is one of the choices between one kind of pain or a much greater one. Amy said: It feels good when you have physical pain to take away from your emotional pain.
Avoid Dealing with Deep Feelings
The problem with self-injury as with any addiction, is that by harming yourself you never really are able to confront your deepest feelings. Perhaps that is you. You are using cutting to try to cope with an even deeper emotional pain. It is hard to say no to something that feels so good. But in the end, cutting will fail you every time.
Don't lose hope. There are healthy ways to deal with your emotions and to stop cutting for good. Check out these helpful resources on self-harm from TheHopeLine.
If you or someone you know is struggling with self-harm, check out TheHopeLine's free eBook.
I think many older people do cut & they probable never seek out help or know who to turn tjo. SADLY
I'm unlike most cutters according to my psychiatrist since I started at age 45. I cut for that moment of feeling in control of my pain. I was a drug user for 20 years and been clean 5 years I think I ju add the traded one for another. People in my life think I cut for attention but that us not true at all. I want to stop but I just can't find a place for help..
That's really interesting. I don't mean to seem insensitive but I've never met a cutter who is not teens or 20s...
I'm 34 and I've been cutting on and off for 20 years. That's the thing... I never got help. Those teens grow up eventually, and without help they grow into mid-30's & 40's cutters like us.
I started cutting in my early teens but started other forms of self-harm at 10. I am almost 43 and after a 26 month period cut free, I have recently relapsed with my worst ever cut. I have literally had hundreds of stitches. It may seem more prevalent in teens-early 20's but that isn't actually the case from the research I have done (I am a 4th year psych student). As you get older, you get better and better at hiding things.
I'm 45. But emotionally, I think I'm probably stuck at "16 year old girl." Cutting makes me feel there's a pain in my life I can control.
may i just say that music always makes me happy!! turning it all the way up and blocking out the world. Focusing on the words rather than the people around me or anything causing my pain.
I found this advice very helpful. Thank you. I found this sight while doing research about cutting and why people cut. My fourteen yr old daughter has been cutting for @ least two year's. When I first saw the scars on her arms she and I both just cried. When I asked her why she can't answer me. She says she don't wanna talk about it. And im so afraid if I upset her she's going to go cut herself. My biggest fear is one day she will take it to far and kill herself. Im so confused and scared for her. I just don't know what to do. She and I both have strong faith n God and she's very active n church and the youth group. So I thought of talking to r youth minister about it. I just know if she finds out I told n e one she will feel embarrassed and upset. Idk what to do. I know she don't wanna die. She wants to go to heaven and she is a good person. And a very beautiful young lady. Why would she ever do this. Im so confused. She loves music and I think that advice will b helpful. Thank you.
Have you taken her to get seen? Came across this as I was researching for a paper. Cutting is a maladaptive coping mechanism for underlying negative emotions. People do not cut "because they want to", it is a compulsion that is so strong sometimes that it is extremely difficult to avoid. Cutting helps people return to normal temporarily for a short period of time. Helps to release tension. Research Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Personality disorders usually begin in adolescence or early adulthood. Predisposing factors include Genetics, substance abuse, chronic trauma early in development, and sociocultural. Personality disorders frequently Co-Occur with Major Depression Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, Alcoholism/Substance related disorder, Eating disorder or PTSD. A doctor must differentiate BPD vs Bipolar disorder, plus any other Co-Existing disorders.
Nursing Student 🙂 Best wishes.
Talking to her about how you feel is what she is craving. It would let her know that if she isn't ready to talk you are...you may not see a change ...but at least somewhere down the road of growing up she will understand that yes she was hurting so deeply ..yet you respected her and let her have the room to deal. And grow into an adult. Well that's just my thoughts..thing is something is hurts too much ,she emotionaly has pain and is
trying to cope by useing physical pain to distract her mind ..as well as feeling in control of a direct and imediate reaction in life
Hi. I haven't cut in years. Four years sober and am not a Christian however...depending on how old your daughter is I'd advise continuing ur research and then discussing it with her. I saw a doctor and got meds. Perhaps a mood stabilizer. Let her know she has to live with the scars forever. Ppl ask me all the time. Its horrible to have to explain. I'm 32 and am all scared up. Don't let her be the same way. If she can't talk to you then find someone she can confide in. She may be afraid of letting you down. Thanks for reading-anonymous
I'm 14 years old and I'm a cutter, it started when my dad left my family when I was 10...then he got into big time drugs.
Did something happen to your daughter that was very emotionably upsetting? If so that may be the problem. But my advice is not to pressure her to tell you...honestly talking about your problems makes you feel the pain every time you talk about it, try distracting her and doing uplifting things. Its great she's involved in church, I am too and if my pastor found out I've been cutting I would be mortified...maybe telling anybody besides close relatives would be upsetting and make her feel guilty like I did. Please take my advice, and I wish you and your daughter the best of luck. May God bless you, your daughter and all you hold dear.
My teenage son cuts and I just recently found out. I am sick about it and have shed many tears alone and with him. We are doing DBT therapy I highly recommend it. It helps you and your child learn great coping skills and statigies to help them. As a father tell someone who can pray with you and be a prayer worrior for your sweet child. She doesnt have to know that you have shared it. It just helps and through prayer God will reveal so much. In the DBT trainning as you set across the table and see the other interaction with the parents and kids... No words are needed. They know your pain and the teens know each others pain...it truly hws been one of the hardest things I have ever done!
I cut because I don't know how else to deal with this. No one who really cares and the medicines don't work
I CARE!♡♥
I cut because it takes the emotional pain away and leads into physical pain and honestly i can take physical pain better than emotional pain!
I cut because I feel like i deserve it and I personally like seeing massive blood!