There is so much confusion around the addiction of cutting. It's hard for some people to understand why you, or someone you know, would repeatedly harm themselves on purpose. I want to break through the confusion and help those who practice cutting as a way of life. I've heard a lot of people say, why would anyone do such a thing as purposely cause pain to their bodies? So, let's begin to uncover the reasons why so many people cut themselves.
Most People Cut to Cover an Even Deeper Emotional Pain
As I have talked with hundreds of people that self-harm, one major reason emerges over and over again: Most people cut themselves to try to cope with an even deeper emotional pain. If you or anybody you know is cutting, please understand cutting is a way of covering something much deeper and painful going on inside.
Cover Self-Hate
An anonymous blogger put it this way: I used to cut because I felt like it was the only way to feel something other than the hurt and confusion and self-hate that was driving me insane. I would cut because I hated myself so much that I wanted to tear myself to pieces.
Cover Past Trauma
Most cutters' ability to cope with life is overwhelmed by powerful emotions or extreme pressure that seem too intense to bear. Jenessa said she's been a cutter for 7 years. I was sexually abused by someone very close to me. I started cutting because I always thought that what happened was my fault. I have never gotten over it, so I used to cope with any problem I had by cutting. Taking it out on myself was so much easier than figuring out what to do emotionally.
Can't Express Emotional Pain
When these emotions aren't dealt with, tension builds up. Cutting can feel like a release of this tension. Rachel said cutting is a way for her to deal with her pain: It's an escape from reality. No matter how temporary it is it's a relief to escape all the pain.
Most cutters struggle to express their pain to others. Without the words or outlet to express their emotional pain, they give into a short cut, a destructive physical expression toward themself. Laken said cutting is her first reaction when she feels disappointment or difficulty. When I fail a test, when I get in a fight, when I am called a mean name, or when anything bad happens the first thought is to cut. It is horrible and I always fall back on it.
The physical pain has a calming effect on her more agonizing emotional pain. Cutting is the treating of one pain with another. A cutter's life is one of the choices between one kind of pain or a much greater one. Amy said: It feels good when you have physical pain to take away from your emotional pain.
Avoid Dealing with Deep Feelings
The problem with self-injury as with any addiction, is that by harming yourself you never really are able to confront your deepest feelings. Perhaps that is you. You are using cutting to try to cope with an even deeper emotional pain. It is hard to say no to something that feels so good. But in the end, cutting will fail you every time.
Don't lose hope. There are healthy ways to deal with your emotions and to stop cutting for good. Check out these helpful resources on self-harm from TheHopeLine.
If you or someone you know is struggling with self-harm, check out TheHopeLine's free eBook.
I cut/hurt myself to feel alive cause if I'm not fealing any pain in my body, I somehow don't feel right. I've been doing this since when I was 12 (am 24 now). I cut with a dull pocket knife cause it causes me more pain and at times I just punch the wall or kick a pole or something to cause pain. Then I don't harm myself till the pain lasts. I had no problem with these but now form like a couple of months ago, at times I feel like stabbing myself, I bring the knife to my chest but don't do anything (but it feels like its just a matter of time). There are somemore things that I'm not comfotable to post.
I've been cutting since I was 13, I am now 24. I have no idea how to deal with a typical problem with marriage, work, or even social events when I say something stupid. Sometimes I get so numb I can't even cry till I cut myself. I try so hard to deal with my feelings or thoughts not to lead to cutting, and I find myself doing it again over and over. I just want it to go away just to stop, I'm so freakin tired of doing this shit. My daughter is three years old and she looks at my legs and ask me why do I have ouchys there, or what happen mommy. I can't even wear shorts in public, or even go swimming. I just feel so weak and dumb. Having scars what will never go away. Nobody knows what I do, my husband doesn't even know half the cuts I have inflected on myself. I haven't talked to my twin sister or my mom in over 2 years, my 3 brothers and my other 2 sisters in 4 years. I couldn't bare them to see me like this so all I do is push them away. I don't feel close to anyone, nor could I get close to anyone what can I do?
As a person who once cut, there is really only reason why some people cut, relief. Physical pain always felt better than emotional however that pain would come back and you have to cut deeper and deeper until you forget about the pain and the high from that pain being released gets shorter and shorter. What most people don't understand about cutters is that its never the same case, some people want help and others don't and nothing can change that, unless you remind people why it doesn't help, how badly it can hurt those around you. I started knitting when I felt like cutting and in return I felt calmer and better about my self. My advice is to get very deciated to a cause or a non harming hobby and the urge to cut will lessen and if this doesn't work seek medical help, but please help yourself you deserved to be happy like everyone else.
Ty for sharing this! My daughter is in 6th grade and i didn't understand what was going why she hated herself. I NEVER thought my baby wanted to hurt herself. I'm getting her help. My thoughts and prayers are with you! Please talk to ur parents if they are available! She is and has been bullied. I still don't understand but i don't have to understand to support her in a healthy lifestyle. God bless u ALL. Hugs
How did u help her may I ask...my step daughter has got in trouble and now cut her arms and legs 100 times or more on each one
Hi I'm not a mother but I am a cutter... I just want to say that first it's a really great thing that you are here and looking it up and trying to understand. The best thing you can do for your step daughter is to get her a therapist, or into some form of counselling. I don't know her, but from me and most of the community of cutters that I do know she will probably react badly.. My own mother forced me to get help, she never tried to understand and it left a lot of resentment from both of us, she tried to be too aggressive with my treatment and tried to force herself in every step of the way. When you do get her help, maybe set up a time to talk to the harpist or councillor yourself, to understand better and to know how to deal with it.
There is something you should know though, and this is a pretty universal thing - you cannot force someone who is cutting themselves to stop, they have to want to. You can't use anger or guilt or anything else to stop it. So the most you can do is give her the resources to get better and let her know you are there to listen, not judge and to try your best to help.
You can't send her off to some rehabilitation center. Most Likely she already knows what shes doing she just needs to be watched and cared for like none other.
It's okay I'm in 6th grade too and I cut...i understand how it feels
i cut and im in sixth grade and dont semd her to one of those places if the place doesnt help her than she will just want to cut more
Hope she feels better
I cut and saying your emotional problems to someone doesn't help, there not going to look at you and change your appearance which for me is my biggest insecurity.