There is so much confusion around the addiction of cutting. It's hard for some people to understand why you, or someone you know, would repeatedly harm themselves on purpose. I want to break through the confusion and help those who practice cutting as a way of life. I've heard a lot of people say, why would anyone do such a thing as purposely cause pain to their bodies? So, let's begin to uncover the reasons why so many people cut themselves.
Most People Cut to Cover an Even Deeper Emotional Pain
As I have talked with hundreds of people that self-harm, one major reason emerges over and over again: Most people cut themselves to try to cope with an even deeper emotional pain. If you or anybody you know is cutting, please understand cutting is a way of covering something much deeper and painful going on inside.
Cover Self-Hate
An anonymous blogger put it this way: I used to cut because I felt like it was the only way to feel something other than the hurt and confusion and self-hate that was driving me insane. I would cut because I hated myself so much that I wanted to tear myself to pieces.
Cover Past Trauma
Most cutters' ability to cope with life is overwhelmed by powerful emotions or extreme pressure that seem too intense to bear. Jenessa said she's been a cutter for 7 years. I was sexually abused by someone very close to me. I started cutting because I always thought that what happened was my fault. I have never gotten over it, so I used to cope with any problem I had by cutting. Taking it out on myself was so much easier than figuring out what to do emotionally.
Can't Express Emotional Pain
When these emotions aren't dealt with, tension builds up. Cutting can feel like a release of this tension. Rachel said cutting is a way for her to deal with her pain: It's an escape from reality. No matter how temporary it is it's a relief to escape all the pain.
Most cutters struggle to express their pain to others. Without the words or outlet to express their emotional pain, they give into a short cut, a destructive physical expression toward themself. Laken said cutting is her first reaction when she feels disappointment or difficulty. When I fail a test, when I get in a fight, when I am called a mean name, or when anything bad happens the first thought is to cut. It is horrible and I always fall back on it.
The physical pain has a calming effect on her more agonizing emotional pain. Cutting is the treating of one pain with another. A cutter's life is one of the choices between one kind of pain or a much greater one. Amy said: It feels good when you have physical pain to take away from your emotional pain.
Avoid Dealing with Deep Feelings
The problem with self-injury as with any addiction, is that by harming yourself you never really are able to confront your deepest feelings. Perhaps that is you. You are using cutting to try to cope with an even deeper emotional pain. It is hard to say no to something that feels so good. But in the end, cutting will fail you every time.
Don't lose hope. There are healthy ways to deal with your emotions and to stop cutting for good. Check out these helpful resources on self-harm from TheHopeLine.
If you or someone you know is struggling with self-harm, check out TheHopeLine's free eBook.
I want to be a music therapist for teens when I graduate. I'm only a freshman in high school.
I have a question for any and all cutters!!!!
Ive been thinking about this theory a lot!
When you cut, is it a way to physically see and/or feel your emotional pain??? If not that is ok, I just would like to know.
Plz respond
Ty!
Well you already feel the intense emotional pain, that's the problem... you're trying to get away from those feelings, not amplify them (as counterintuitive as it sounds).
To see the pain? Hm. Maybe, I don't know. I really don't like looking at my cuts after... I feel incredibly ashamed. But during those cutting moments I do like seeing my skin hurt and bloody... I feel I deserve to be hurt; I feel I don't deserve this skin, this body, or to be alive and I HATE myself and want to show that good side of me that she's hated.
You know, I think I can understand to some extent why people cut themselves. It provides something of a distraction - something they can think about (albeit briefly) aside from their life's problems. My son started cutting himself about 6 months before deciding that cutting was insufficient, and blew his brains out with a .44 calbre pistol. My theory is that the razor blade was no longer working, so he went for the pistol.
But what I can't wrap my brain around is how does one begin? How does a person look at a razor blade that first time and arrive at the conclusion that the blade will provide a release? What made you decide to pick it up? How does it feel that first time that the blade cuts into your flesh? I assume painful.
Did it work? Or did you have to cut your self deeper the next time? Did you eventually develop a tolerance? If so, what did you do?
I am so, so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing. I think I hurt myself in other ways before I ever picked up a knife or razor. Things like scratching your skin until you bleed, pulling your hair really hard, punching yourself... it was all done in a rage of self-hatred. Sharp things are everywhere... I guess it was only a matter of time before I decided to break skin with them.
I'm a cutter. Haven't done it consistently but when I'm in such emotional pain or anxious, it's what helps me survive. I started I was in my early 30's and have dealt with it for about 10 years now. Suffered a tragic loss and somehow I started cutting. Not sure where the idea even came from. I find that whenever I am in such emotional pain the ONLY thing that helps is to cut. I cut in places I can hide but have cut on my thighs. Many scars to show but so many questions and off the cuff stories I need to cover that I learned to cut in places I can hide. Its been about a year since I last cut but the last couple of weeks have me slicing as deep as I can. Something about watching the blood flow helps. I don't recommend it, that's for sure, but I do find it eases my soul in times of emotional suffering. Clearly I'm not emotionally healthy and doubt I ever will be but I'm doing my best in painful circumstances.
My husband has cut himself self in the past (before I knew him) he has many scars. He has recently burned himself instead of cutting because he promised he wouldn't cut himself. I'm worried about him and his depression. It has gotten worse over the past few years. He has social anxiety and agoraphobia and is slowly cutting himself off from the world. He has been on several different meds, but they just don't seem to work. He can't seem to force himself to go to counseling, although just recently he said he would try.
I'm so scared and confused, I pray for him constantly and pray for strength for myself. I just don't know what to do.
Thanks for listening
I cut myself for the first time in1992 when I was 17 and had never heard of anyone else doing it until around 1996 when Princess Di adnitted to doing. I found out I was a "cutter ", before that I just thought I was an isolated freak. Cutting in my life has often been my best friend. It took away the emotional pain, when I could barely breath from the pain. When I was so anxious because. I couldn't handle life it was like a tranquilizer and would prevent a panic attack. And best of all it gave me an alternative to suicide. I was sexually abused as a child, raped and raised by a mother with a borderline personality disorder and physically and emotionally abused (my mother was the worst ). Good news after years of therapy I have had a successful marriage, a beautiful child, a college degree and succesful career. So there is hope,but cutting is still often on my mind. I just resist and sometimes just visualize past cutting,the blood flow and it calms me. I know sick, but I don't cut. Btw it hasn't been easy, at 17 I was hospitalized for 6 weeks, l Have had therapy off and on for 10 out of 20 years and have accepted that I will always be on antidepresents. But, my therapist thinks I am a success story, so just trying to spread hope. I hope you will heal even better than i have.