There is so much confusion around the addiction of cutting. It's hard for some people to understand why you, or someone you know, would repeatedly harm themselves on purpose. I want to break through the confusion and help those who practice cutting as a way of life. I've heard a lot of people say, why would anyone do such a thing as purposely cause pain to their bodies? So, let's begin to uncover the reasons why so many people cut themselves.
Most People Cut to Cover an Even Deeper Emotional Pain
As I have talked with hundreds of people that self-harm, one major reason emerges over and over again: Most people cut themselves to try to cope with an even deeper emotional pain. If you or anybody you know is cutting, please understand cutting is a way of covering something much deeper and painful going on inside.
Cover Self-Hate
An anonymous blogger put it this way: I used to cut because I felt like it was the only way to feel something other than the hurt and confusion and self-hate that was driving me insane. I would cut because I hated myself so much that I wanted to tear myself to pieces.
Cover Past Trauma
Most cutters' ability to cope with life is overwhelmed by powerful emotions or extreme pressure that seem too intense to bear. Jenessa said she's been a cutter for 7 years. I was sexually abused by someone very close to me. I started cutting because I always thought that what happened was my fault. I have never gotten over it, so I used to cope with any problem I had by cutting. Taking it out on myself was so much easier than figuring out what to do emotionally.
Can't Express Emotional Pain
When these emotions aren't dealt with, tension builds up. Cutting can feel like a release of this tension. Rachel said cutting is a way for her to deal with her pain: It's an escape from reality. No matter how temporary it is it's a relief to escape all the pain.
Most cutters struggle to express their pain to others. Without the words or outlet to express their emotional pain, they give into a short cut, a destructive physical expression toward themself. Laken said cutting is her first reaction when she feels disappointment or difficulty. When I fail a test, when I get in a fight, when I am called a mean name, or when anything bad happens the first thought is to cut. It is horrible and I always fall back on it.
The physical pain has a calming effect on her more agonizing emotional pain. Cutting is the treating of one pain with another. A cutter's life is one of the choices between one kind of pain or a much greater one. Amy said: It feels good when you have physical pain to take away from your emotional pain.
Avoid Dealing with Deep Feelings
The problem with self-injury as with any addiction, is that by harming yourself you never really are able to confront your deepest feelings. Perhaps that is you. You are using cutting to try to cope with an even deeper emotional pain. It is hard to say no to something that feels so good. But in the end, cutting will fail you every time.
Don't lose hope. There are healthy ways to deal with your emotions and to stop cutting for good. Check out these helpful resources on self-harm from TheHopeLine.
If you or someone you know is struggling with self-harm, check out TheHopeLine's free eBook.
I started cutting myself just when I was 11, and I'm 14 now. I do it to actually feel something other than immense self-hatred and this numbing feeling I always feel. I was sexually assaulted by my step-father when I was only 7 years old... I think that's what drove me into severe depression, and I did eventually start hurting myself. Even before I started cutting, I wanted to feel some sort of pain, so I would usually get by just by digging my nails so hard into my arm it would leave a mark for awhile. I was too scared to use a razor, and I'm still terrified to use a knife. I want to die so badly, but I just don't have the guts to off myself. People publicize self-harm as being "cool", and I think that has a huge part to play in why so many cutters can't get themselves help. I've tried getting myself help before, and just by the way cutting is publicized, my addiction gets brushed off as a "phase". Please, please, please don't tell others that people only cut themselves for attention. Sometimes that may be the case, but lots of cutters have legitimate issues that they can't solve themselves and need help from those around them who can support them.
I'm very sorry about your son, and I'm sure he was a wonderful boy with a great father. I will put him and you in my prayers.
For me, I started thinking about how cutting worked for others, and why it was all a big deal, why it was so addicting. Mainly curiousity but also in desperation to forget, I tried it with scissors.
When you cut, everything contributes to the release. The pain, distracting you from emotional pain, the blood, fascinating to watch and know you have control over it, the cleanup, gives your mind something to do, and the occasional pain as it heals that takes up some space in your mind, so somethig emotionally painful can't. That's just how it was for me anyways. Then whenever I needed a release, I felt like I was being burnt on a stake in my mind, I would get very overwhelmed and begin to scratch and pace, and then only thing calming was to cut. Now a days it's like I'm numb, like im trying so had to feel but everything is like a sad song. I just want something vibrant again. It's hard to resist cutting.
I started when i was very young,i was in My arte clase in the fourth grade ,I was doing it in front of My class ,the teacher notice the harm i wanted to do to My self .SHE called the consulor and My mother and talked about what she had witness .And worried that there was more than meets thie eye.I hace been through sexual abuse ,fisical abuse and emotional.Its been hard for me ,but nowing that im not the only one and that people can relate to me ,its amazing
I cut for a year when I was in early highschool after the death of my goddaughter, to forget in the moment what had happened. Even the pain as it healed helped as a distraction. I stopped for a year, then as I became a serious hypochondriac, who was also terrified of the doctors, started again. I'm not much of a hypochondriac anymore, but the panic attacks still sometimes occur. I fell into mild depression about 3 months ago, and that's also when I started cutting again. I switched to razor blades however, and I prefer them because the pain is minimal but there is more blood, than there was with scissors. I just like to watch the blood pool over my skin. I never really understood why I liked cutting, until I got into this blog. Now I know why I do it; because I have the deep inner urge to be taken care of. That I am looking for someone who will see under my lies of how I cut myself and understand that I need help, that I want someone to actually take care of me and love me. It's because I never had someone to talk to as I grew up. My older brother stopped speaking to me after I was about 11, and if I tried talking to him he would only curse at me and tell me to move out of his way, or respond very harshly. My parents weren't much of the understanding and talk things out type. I had a best friend but she moved away and didn't quite understand what I was going through anyways because she was close with her sublings, and I can tell my current boyfriend gets annoyed easily about my fears and paranoia. He believes Im being dramatic, and doesn't know I cut but knows I used to and doesn't even try to understand why. And that's why I have to break up with him. Because he's always been a best friend, but I need someone who can cope with me emotionally and take care of me, not get annoyed by everything I fear and my worries. And he doesn't want to take care of me anymore. And another thing, I've blamed myself for so many years for the horrible relationship with my older brother, and I still don't even know if it's my fault, how I could have acted differently, but I've blamed myself so long for it, and that adds to the loneliness. In the winter I was very busy and talked to lots of friends and people because of the clubs I was involved in, and that was fufilling enough to make me stop cutting. That, plus the old way I cut was with scissors and they were leaving horrible scars. Shaving razors don't reall leave scars. So now that I've had this epiphany about myself, I would like to thank this post and announce that I am on the way to recovery. If you have any opinions on my situation, please comment. Bless you if you've read this far!
I cutted At Age 14.. Because bullies, Would really make fun of the way i looked. ( judged ) So i started to believe the Awful words they said. I Cried Most Of the nights. & Also My mother would Just drink and say mean words to me. So i believe them as well. I Also did something really bad when i was 9. I Regret everyday, I Cry the way i look.... So then i cutted.. Now there Scars.