There is so much confusion around the addiction of cutting. It's hard for some people to understand why you, or someone you know, would repeatedly harm themselves on purpose. I want to break through the confusion and help those who practice cutting as a way of life. I've heard a lot of people say, why would anyone do such a thing as purposely cause pain to their bodies? So, let's begin to uncover the reasons why so many people cut themselves.
Most People Cut to Cover an Even Deeper Emotional Pain
As I have talked with hundreds of people that self-harm, one major reason emerges over and over again: Most people cut themselves to try to cope with an even deeper emotional pain. If you or anybody you know is cutting, please understand cutting is a way of covering something much deeper and painful going on inside.
Cover Self-Hate
An anonymous blogger put it this way: I used to cut because I felt like it was the only way to feel something other than the hurt and confusion and self-hate that was driving me insane. I would cut because I hated myself so much that I wanted to tear myself to pieces.
Cover Past Trauma
Most cutters' ability to cope with life is overwhelmed by powerful emotions or extreme pressure that seem too intense to bear. Jenessa said she's been a cutter for 7 years. I was sexually abused by someone very close to me. I started cutting because I always thought that what happened was my fault. I have never gotten over it, so I used to cope with any problem I had by cutting. Taking it out on myself was so much easier than figuring out what to do emotionally.
Can't Express Emotional Pain
When these emotions aren't dealt with, tension builds up. Cutting can feel like a release of this tension. Rachel said cutting is a way for her to deal with her pain: It's an escape from reality. No matter how temporary it is it's a relief to escape all the pain.
Most cutters struggle to express their pain to others. Without the words or outlet to express their emotional pain, they give into a short cut, a destructive physical expression toward themself. Laken said cutting is her first reaction when she feels disappointment or difficulty. When I fail a test, when I get in a fight, when I am called a mean name, or when anything bad happens the first thought is to cut. It is horrible and I always fall back on it.
The physical pain has a calming effect on her more agonizing emotional pain. Cutting is the treating of one pain with another. A cutter's life is one of the choices between one kind of pain or a much greater one. Amy said: It feels good when you have physical pain to take away from your emotional pain.
Avoid Dealing with Deep Feelings
The problem with self-injury as with any addiction, is that by harming yourself you never really are able to confront your deepest feelings. Perhaps that is you. You are using cutting to try to cope with an even deeper emotional pain. It is hard to say no to something that feels so good. But in the end, cutting will fail you every time.
Don't lose hope. There are healthy ways to deal with your emotions and to stop cutting for good. Check out these helpful resources on self-harm from TheHopeLine.
If you or someone you know is struggling with self-harm, check out TheHopeLine's free eBook.
I feel like this everyday. Since five years old? Around about. People tell me I'm so smart (not smart enough). People tell me I'm pretty ( not pretty enough).
It all hurts.
I'm just waiting to die.
I have been a cutter for a few years. The physical pain took away the emotional pain. Life can be overwhelming, I wake up and think another day, how am I going to get through this one. I avoid people so they don't have the opportunity to hurt me. If you were to see me you would never guess I am a cutter. I agree with newbie, find someone who can relate to you and let the tears flow, let all those negative feelings out . Always remember there is nothing wrong with you, I know because there sure as heck nothing wrong with me. People are always going to be mean,rude, and hurtful . I'm the last person who should be giving advice but I came across this page and had to write. I do understand how you feel and you are not alone, I have read all the above responses and at one time or another I have felt that way including today. I have been up all night again dealing with my pain alone, the sun should be up in a while and I am thinking oh great here I go again. Makes me feel better knowing that I am not alone .
The reason I'm responding to you, Heather, is because I don't want to kill myself either, I just want the pain to stop...
I don't know if you will ever read this...but I can only hope. Last night I ran away after a football game, I cut also, have dealt with anorexia, have clinical depression, and extreme anxiety. Anyway, it all ended with talking to the police, when I was finally back at home, then being in the ER until 1 in the morning. It was the most traumatic thing that I have ever been through, and I'm scared to death to go back to school Monday...
But I want you to know that you're beautiful no matter what people say. I have a friend that is the most beautiful person I know, doesn't wear make-up or anything. The "popular girls" talk about her all the time, and one day I decided to tell her about it...she told me she doesn't care what they think, and thought they were silly....But then she said this..."i am who I am on the inside and whatever is on the outside I don't see or care about because that's not who I am" I went home and cried... YOU GO BE BEAUTIFUL AND ONE DAY THEY WILL LOOK BACK AND REALIZE THAT THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PERSON THEY EVER KNEW WAS YOU, BECAUSE YOU CHOSE TO BE YOU. GO REACH FOR THE STARS SISTER. LOVE <3
I have been cutting for 15 years. I started when I was 13 and now I'm married a mom going on 30. It finally it just hit me a few months ago if I haven't stopped now I'm never going to stop! My kids finding out or seeing my scars in the future is the biggest fear of all. I'm running out of room on my body its time. I never thought it would hit me its time to give her up let the cutting go. I'm now getting help ones a week and working on stuff that I know needs fixing years and years of abuse! I believe you can move past the cutting and have a healthy lifestyle. I'm not there yet but I know its coming for me because I have finally came out of the darkness of cutting. I also struggle with a eating disorder have for 15 years they go very well together they but eating and cutting. in the past drugs as well but not anymore! Proud of that! I have never treated myself well tho. I have finally gotten that feeling you are worth so much more then this monster inside you trying to cut her away but never getting it. I wish all the people struggling with this problem find themselves and help to go along with it. You are going to need that. I have said that for 15 years I got this. NEVER AGAIN I might slip up I don't want to but telling yourself that's the last time will never be the last time. Forgive yourself and learn to love yourself first. Hey I'm still learning!!
It's hard to quit something that makes that pain disappear for awhile. Especially for me. I'm losing family left and right, I'm scared of being alone with men, I like somebody (hell might even love!) but I'm terrified that I'm bothering him even though I've hardly talked to him or sat next to him. Cutting helped me forget all that was going on around me and made me concentrate on the cut.
I've cut for about two years, because sometimes it's nice to be in control of the pain
It feels too good to stop. It's a good way to relieve stress but the after affects aren't worth it. Don't cut because you'll just make others more worried about you. Trust me I know how it feels.