There is so much confusion around the addiction of cutting. It's hard for some people to understand why you, or someone you know, would repeatedly harm themselves on purpose. I want to break through the confusion and help those who practice cutting as a way of life. I've heard a lot of people say, why would anyone do such a thing as purposely cause pain to their bodies? So, let's begin to uncover the reasons why so many people cut themselves.
Most People Cut to Cover an Even Deeper Emotional Pain
As I have talked with hundreds of people that self-harm, one major reason emerges over and over again: Most people cut themselves to try to cope with an even deeper emotional pain. If you or anybody you know is cutting, please understand cutting is a way of covering something much deeper and painful going on inside.
Cover Self-Hate
An anonymous blogger put it this way: I used to cut because I felt like it was the only way to feel something other than the hurt and confusion and self-hate that was driving me insane. I would cut because I hated myself so much that I wanted to tear myself to pieces.
Cover Past Trauma
Most cutters' ability to cope with life is overwhelmed by powerful emotions or extreme pressure that seem too intense to bear. Jenessa said she's been a cutter for 7 years. I was sexually abused by someone very close to me. I started cutting because I always thought that what happened was my fault. I have never gotten over it, so I used to cope with any problem I had by cutting. Taking it out on myself was so much easier than figuring out what to do emotionally.
Can't Express Emotional Pain
When these emotions aren't dealt with, tension builds up. Cutting can feel like a release of this tension. Rachel said cutting is a way for her to deal with her pain: It's an escape from reality. No matter how temporary it is it's a relief to escape all the pain.
Most cutters struggle to express their pain to others. Without the words or outlet to express their emotional pain, they give into a short cut, a destructive physical expression toward themself. Laken said cutting is her first reaction when she feels disappointment or difficulty. When I fail a test, when I get in a fight, when I am called a mean name, or when anything bad happens the first thought is to cut. It is horrible and I always fall back on it.
The physical pain has a calming effect on her more agonizing emotional pain. Cutting is the treating of one pain with another. A cutter's life is one of the choices between one kind of pain or a much greater one. Amy said: It feels good when you have physical pain to take away from your emotional pain.
Avoid Dealing with Deep Feelings
The problem with self-injury as with any addiction, is that by harming yourself you never really are able to confront your deepest feelings. Perhaps that is you. You are using cutting to try to cope with an even deeper emotional pain. It is hard to say no to something that feels so good. But in the end, cutting will fail you every time.
Don't lose hope. There are healthy ways to deal with your emotions and to stop cutting for good. Check out these helpful resources on self-harm from TheHopeLine.
If you or someone you know is struggling with self-harm, check out TheHopeLine's free eBook.
I am also one of those people who cut.I did today. I don't cut for attention. I cut because of depression, and anger. And if there is anyone out there that is wondering it's not something that's cool or fun, it's very painful and may affect you in the future. I don't enjoy it at all. I get help but nun of it works, it just makes me feel worst about myself. Please don't end up like me and have to go to counselling everyday and have to take depression pills and more. I also used drugs and alcohol to take away the pain but that didn't work either.( I still use them though) but the point is that you are so much better than to do self harm so read all of the comments and realize that cutting isn't the way to go!
For everybody that cuts.... I'ma try to say this the best i can. I LOVE you all.. I know people have it harder than others i can say the way i'm living...i'm not satisfied i mean who is.. I don't cut personally so i'm sorry for not 100% understanding you all but i care about people maybe a little too much sometimes... But that's who i am and that's who you are.. You are not alone.. Go out make friends.. Become the person you wanted to be don't think about just say and do sorry if i don't make sense i think i suffer from insomnia that's why i'm writing all this right now.. My point is everybody has something going on in their life good or bad but it doesn't mean take out on yourself. Join boxing. Do karate something physical something aggressive or maybe look for art schools find a hobby please because i'm tired of people killing them selves we deserve to die old and happy with a family.... I feel depressed because i don't have a gf or alot friends but i'm really friendly and outgoing. we are not so different keep your head up and please stop cutting you're too beautiful for that. Thank you for your time if it helped . sorry if i sound dumb or don't know what i'm talking about i'm just here to help..
This is so sweet. You are an amazing person for reaching out to others.
I started cutting when I was in 7th grade. I'm 17 now.I have major depressive disorder and I usually don't cut myself. I usually go long periods of time when I'm fine, but when I have a big downward swing that lasts I feel like the easiest way to bring myself out of it is by showing myself exactly how much I'm putting myself through. I also known that physical pain releases chemicals in the brain that will make me feel better. Even if only for a short while
That was so helpful thx
who thinks that people cut for attenion
I started cutting when i was in 7th grade n now im going to be a senior next year, it all started out with me being bullied, then i got low eelf esteemed n started to hate my body I'm naturally skinny so i can't do anything about.people always commenting on how.im skinny and that i should eat more food , i do i just can't gain.weight i use to cut myself to prevent myself from talking about it or dealing with it then i got my first love and i was happy and stopped cutting for over a year but then he played me n used me n then he randomly threw me away and now im back where i started, cutting myself each time i think or remember the people who treate f ne like crap, i hate them all but at the same time if they were to ask me a favor i would do it because im too kind hearted
There's depression of the blues. And there's depression that meakes you want to end your live. Makes you feel hopeless, alone, self hatered and feeling like your in a black hole with no light. And words can't even begin to say what its like. I feel as if people keep ripping pieces of my body. Every one I get close to. Now after years of this from so many have caused so much pain. I want it all to stop. The best way for me is to stay away from everyone. Im so broken and suffering. The only relief for me is to die. I want peace for my mind and body now, To leave here. Then I will rest away from this wretched world I am from. Living with mental illness takes a lot of work to try to make yourself fit into society. If you're not of a certain criteria of a list that's been created by the perfect domain. Youre cast from them because you're not meeting the qualities to be in the perfect world. God forbid you're an intervert. Those types are flawed. When you have something traumatic happen to you. You're expected to move on with your life immediately. And if you can't then you're just looking for attention and the perfect ones will put judgement on you. Because everyone's all the same to them. If you you buy your shoes at Walmart an they buy their's at Jimmy Choo. I don't feel like I belong. Its been terrible stuff again an again. Im tired I cant deal with life anymore. I like the pain from cutting. I dont do it often. Just over whelmed from to much grieving. To much for to long. Life shouldn't have t be with so much pain.
Oh my goodness, LL, you poor thing, seriously, no one should be left alone in your situation. I would be honored to sit right down with you and hash it out - tears and all - laughter would certainly come eventually. I'm so sorry that this hand of cards has left you feeling worthless - I don't know - but I often feel the same way. I often thought I should die at any moment - it would be better - in fact, I relished in the increased possibility of my own death. But hell. I'm still here. I don't know. I wish we could just hang out and realize that we're not alone. I feel so alone. The times I feel most happy are the time that folks attack me for who I am. Tears down my face. I can't take it. I don't have advice ... other than maybe we should be friends. 😉 Until then.
I'm happy I'm not alone
I can't agree with you more but we deserve different, I decided I would start looking into groups on this subject, get involved maybe end up making friends where we can keep each other in good spirits to keep our minds off cutting or have someone to talk to. I just got out of the hospital 3 days ago, I tried to contact 4 people before ending up there, if they knew my issue which I hide, maybe they could of been there, but I'm too embarrassed to let anyone know . My children know I cut but they don't know how often, I am 50 years old, been cutting since my 20ties
Sweet words, thank you. You are so kind that you can understand without personally experiencing it. Crazy. It isn't a single walk-of-life person that will experience this - it's definitely not just a high-school thing - unfortunately. I am 33 years old and I just started cutting myself like a few months ago. I am PhD student at the finest school for experimental science in the world. That sounds really over-confident - but obviously, the pressure is killing me. Or ... I am allowing the pressure to kill me, whatever. It is so fucked up - but I am glad that I can connect with those who suffer this level of pain ... because it makes me feel that, one day, I may be able to help people out from this chaos.
hi, do you think that if you acknowledged that the stress or pressure you are facing is just stress and pressure that it would help in any way? I am trying to figure out how to help people who self harm and so this is apart of me trying to figure out what truly gets people to realize that they are amazing and that pressure is just an emotion they are feeling but it has nothing to do with what they are capable of or who they are. Any feedback will be helpful. Take care <3
I started cutting when I was 9 because of what I was going through when I was reuntied with my mom and stepdad I started again I am now 22 and still cut I try to talk to mom and she like u just want attion and then mocks me the rest of the day like oh no more peanut butter must cut myself. So how can I stop it make me want to do it more deeeper and make sure I do die. I cant talk to anybody not my mom not my step dad no one I am alone on this
You can always use online chats where there are people who are there to listen to what you have to say and won't judge you so that you can get out anything you want to and have someone to listen and help. If your mom is not listening then you can also find someone through forums or maybe if you know someone who has cut and recovered or who cuts but has parents who understand maybe you can have them talk with your mom and try to make her understand. Since you are 22 I am guessing you can go to the doctor on your own. I am not sure how well this will work but maybe you can go see a doctor yourself and ask if they offer therapy without having to tell your mother that you are going to therapy. Maybe they can make it seem like you are getting academic guidance or you are seeing the doctor for some other reason. Best wishes <3
You are amazing! God bless you!
Please all remember that so much of our emotional pain are many times allowed by us when we make too much of a thing. Bad thoughts should be fought against actively. For example, before in my life I cared sooo much about appearance, and I did alot of evil things, and allowed people's opinions to define me, but now I have realized that it is better to be more detached to people, so that my thought life says to myself: "I must not allow myself to feel bad for this other person. Why should I? Why should I allow myself to feel bad for another person? It is I who choose to allow this person to define and change my mood." And of course, I became a Christian and received a Father in Jesus who I can talk to, which gives me the best Father to speak to. Ceasing to become vain was a defining moment for me, when I chose to stop caring about how people view the exterior, because as another also wrote, what really matters is not how you look on the exterior as this can change and will change through age, but your inner being, or soul.
Im sorry but that wont help me and im only ten years old
Same...I've started cutting and it relieves everything, like finding a way to not be mad at yourself. You would probably not expect that I come from a catholic highschool but I do. Jus feel alone and upset
I'm 54, and I cut also. The first time was back in 2006. I was married to a man that tried to control everything about me, to where I didn't know who I was anymore. I divorced by 12/07. But I still cut now. I cut when I tried suicide for how horrible my life is and all I do is struggle. Suicide didn't work, thank God. I do believe in God and don't want to end up in hell. But so much bad has happened in my life since I did get divorced that I can't deal with it emotionally anymore. So I cut because I hate myself. Way too much to go into on here. One big thing is recently losing my dad to cancer and my my to stroke. I blame myself for moving away from them in 2003 when I got married. If I wouldn't have moved I could have helped them. So there is a lot of stuff I deal with including now being homeless just recently!
I have a question for the readers. To preface, I cut for three years, and self-harmed for seven (e.g. biting, bruising skin, etc.). I am still struggling with this, and although I'm getting help... I often wonder if my problem is really that bad. I used to laugh at myself, because I have a very low pain tolerance. I cringe at the thought of cutting, and yet often feel compelled to do it. When cutting, I need two things: the sight of blood to prove I am real, and the sharp pain to momentarily erase the emotional anguish. To achieve this, no much violence against yourself is needed.
So here is my question: is it so bad if I'm not actually hurting myself that much? When I need to, a few flicks of a razor will suffice, as the cuts hurt like hell, and heal quickly. You can easily tell people you fell on pavement or something, because it's plausible. I just feel like since I'm not slashing my wrists or cutting REALLY DEEP, it's not as big an issue...
I feel you,I was like you but like any addiction the amount you started with isn't enough after awhile and gets worse and worse now I can't even where short sleeves without people asking me about the scars but it just feels soooooo good compared to my life (FYI black male in my early 20's)fairly handsome I might add but just too much pressure and just can't relate to ANYONE.
So don't feel alone.