There is so much confusion around the addiction of cutting. It's hard for some people to understand why you, or someone you know, would repeatedly harm themselves on purpose. I want to break through the confusion and help those who practice cutting as a way of life. I've heard a lot of people say, why would anyone do such a thing as purposely cause pain to their bodies? So, let's begin to uncover the reasons why so many people cut themselves.
Most People Cut to Cover an Even Deeper Emotional Pain
As I have talked with hundreds of people that self-harm, one major reason emerges over and over again: Most people cut themselves to try to cope with an even deeper emotional pain. If you or anybody you know is cutting, please understand cutting is a way of covering something much deeper and painful going on inside.
Cover Self-Hate
An anonymous blogger put it this way: I used to cut because I felt like it was the only way to feel something other than the hurt and confusion and self-hate that was driving me insane. I would cut because I hated myself so much that I wanted to tear myself to pieces.
Cover Past Trauma
Most cutters' ability to cope with life is overwhelmed by powerful emotions or extreme pressure that seem too intense to bear. Jenessa said she's been a cutter for 7 years. I was sexually abused by someone very close to me. I started cutting because I always thought that what happened was my fault. I have never gotten over it, so I used to cope with any problem I had by cutting. Taking it out on myself was so much easier than figuring out what to do emotionally.
Can't Express Emotional Pain
When these emotions aren't dealt with, tension builds up. Cutting can feel like a release of this tension. Rachel said cutting is a way for her to deal with her pain: It's an escape from reality. No matter how temporary it is it's a relief to escape all the pain.
Most cutters struggle to express their pain to others. Without the words or outlet to express their emotional pain, they give into a short cut, a destructive physical expression toward themself. Laken said cutting is her first reaction when she feels disappointment or difficulty. When I fail a test, when I get in a fight, when I am called a mean name, or when anything bad happens the first thought is to cut. It is horrible and I always fall back on it.
The physical pain has a calming effect on her more agonizing emotional pain. Cutting is the treating of one pain with another. A cutter's life is one of the choices between one kind of pain or a much greater one. Amy said: It feels good when you have physical pain to take away from your emotional pain.
Avoid Dealing with Deep Feelings
The problem with self-injury as with any addiction, is that by harming yourself you never really are able to confront your deepest feelings. Perhaps that is you. You are using cutting to try to cope with an even deeper emotional pain. It is hard to say no to something that feels so good. But in the end, cutting will fail you every time.
Don't lose hope. There are healthy ways to deal with your emotions and to stop cutting for good. Check out these helpful resources on self-harm from TheHopeLine.
If you or someone you know is struggling with self-harm, check out TheHopeLine's free eBook.
I would like to understand more about this addition so I can somehow help my daughter who has started to do this to her self. It is hard for me to hear that this is what she is doing to her self. I want to know if it is something that can happen to someone who was always ready to help others and now she has come to this. I thought that I did the best I could in raising her but now I am not sure that it was all good. So if anyone could answer me i would be very greatful for any input.
You came to the right place. You sound like a very caring and loving mother and your daughter sounds very precious. A good place to start learning more about it is to download our free eBook - http://info.thehopeline.com/selfharm Reading through it together with your daughter can open the door for honest discussion. You can also encourage your daughter to chat with one of our trained HopeCoaches. We also partner with a wonderful ministry called "Door of Hope" and here is a blog about their founder and about her heart for those struggling with cutting - https://www.thehopeline.com/5-things-to-know-about-door-of-hope-help-for-self-harm You are a great mom for wanting to learn more so you can really understand and help your daughter. I wish all parents were like you!
Can a mother of a person who cuts herself join in the discussion to with this problem help her understand how to help her daughter.
I cut because I feel like cutting is the only that helps me escape the fact that I'm alone and everyone hates me even my parents. This feeling sucks. When I sit around a group of friends and finds out that I'm not important and not loved and I'm hated and existence is not that important and nobody cares if I was there or no. I wake up everyday to get back to the bed again after 12 hours of eating and staring at the wall with those thoughts that you wish you never wanted to be existed in this life. Cutting is the only way that makes me forget my emotional and insider pain and makes me distracted by the pain which cutting causes, I end up crying because of the cutting pain and by this way I forget the my imotional pain, then I go to the bed and cry till I fall asleep. I wrote a lot but this is nothing.
Lissa, we have a really great resource for you called, "Door of Hope." You can talk to others who understand exactly what you are going through and the struggle. Check out this recent blog about them - https://www.thehopeline.com/5-things-to-know-about-door-of-hope-help-for-self-harm
And our HopeCoaches are here for you, too - just click the "chat now" banner on our website. Please let us help you find hope.
Cutting is harmful
I haven't cut for years but want to resume it because it is so close to the surface. I did it to make sure there's no tar in me... .