You Can Turn Your Self-Hatred Around

If you struggle with hating yourself, you are not alone. Whatever the reason, whether past abuse, trauma, or bullying, I know it’s not easy to break that cycle. It takes a commitment to healthy self-care to turn things around.

Working on self-care to improve self-esteem will look slightly different for everyone, depending on their struggles and their situations. But there are some things I’ve noticed work well across the board. I hope to give you some straightforward ideas you can put into practice right away to start feeling better about your life and yourself.

1. Talk and Think About Yourself Positively 

Self-hatred and self-care: in both cases, “self” is a keyword. That’s because, in both, we play a part. Of course, you’re not responsible for the unkind treatment of others that may have led to your poor sense of self-worth. But you can still make an effort to talk and think about yourself positively each day.

If this feels difficult, think of your friends. You speak to them kindly and make efforts to treat them with respect. Try making that same effort to think and talk about yourself as you would talk about a friend or loved one.

2. Care for Your Spirit

Spiritual care is an important part of self-care because it keeps us grounded. Whether it's reading encouraging Bible verses, talking to someone in your faith community regularly, or spending time in prayer and meditation, committing to our spiritual care can bring us daily reminders of God’s unconditional love.

3. Care for Your Body 

Caring for your body through things like physical activity, cooking nutritious meals, or drinking more water has numerous benefits. It makes you feel better physically. It gives you more energy and better-quality sleep. And the sense of accomplishment that comes with activities like cooking and exercise programs can be a great self-esteem booster. If you’re not sure which meals or exercises would be best for you, your doctor can give you some ideas.

4. Clear Your Mind

Often, I find that cutting out distractions and clearing my mind helps me to calm my anxiety and face my negative thoughts and feelings. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, removing distractions is a great way to put your well-being first and focus on building your self-esteem. This could mean silencing your apps and notifications, spending less time on social media, or journaling instead of watching TV. Try doing at least one of those things for a week and see what a difference it makes.

5. Care for Others

Helping and uplifting others is fulfilling, and it always makes me feel better to know what a difference I can make for people in my family, my friend groups, and my community. Is there someone in your life that can use a kind word, or an organization you care about that needs your help? Think of something you can do to care for others and notice how that softens your feelings toward yourself.

6. Get Extra Encouragement

You may need extra encouragement and guidance from others to break the cycle of self-hatred and move toward self-care. Let people in your life know about your self-care routines so they can check in and see how things are going. See if a friend wants to join in a self-care activity with you so you can share your experiences together. 

If you’re still struggling and feeling overwhelmed, there’s hope. TheHopeLine HopeCoaches are here for you. 

Talk to a Hope Coach today about your struggles with hating yourself, and work with them to build a simple self-care routine you can stick to. You can do this. We believe in you!

Are you struggling to forgive yourself for past guilt and shame? Could this be causing your self-hate? Read why you should forgive yourself.