I Wish I Didn’t Have So Many Anger Problems
Evan shares, “At this moment, I’m calling you with a broken hand, because this past Thursday on the last day of school, I had a bit of a dispute with a teacher. And I punched two lockers and I had broken my hand.
I really wish I didn’t have as many anger problems as I do, because there are so many people that I know that tell me, “Oh, that Evan, he’s an intelligent guy. He’s really nice to people.” And sometimes I say to myself, if I’m so nice like people say, why does this have to happen?
It’s really bad. It got so bad that last summer I had been driven to stuff like marijuana use, and cigarette use because of my anger problems. Thankfully, I quit doing those two things, but it had gotten so bad I had been driven to do those things. I just wish I wasn’t the person I am.”
Who Are You Angry At?
Evan, “Just a lot of people. I’ve been suspended. If I had a dollar for every time I’ve been suspended at school, I’d be very rich. I would usually get suspended for mostly just reacting or responding to people who bully me. Because I’m not a popular kid at school and I get bullied pretty much every single day I show up at school.
I would even get in physical altercations with people who bully me all the time and I would be the one who gets in trouble. And I don’t want to be a physically violent person. I’ve even gone to those people and said, “Please, don’t do this anymore.” And they don’t listen. And sometimes I feel getting into bad physical altercations with them is basically the only way I can get it through their heads to say, “Hey, you’re affecting me bad, and I don’t want you doing that.”
Dawson: Are you a Christian?
Evan: No, technically I’m Catholic; however, I don’t really go to church.
Dawson: So, you don’t really have Christ in your life?
Evan: Not as much as I should.
Dawson: Well, either He is in your life or He’s not in your life. This is not a halfway God.
The reason I’m asking that is this is very deep. This is very serious. You have no place to go right now, but down. Whether they even let you in school next year is problematic. And you’re going to kill somebody, or someone is going to kill you.
Evan: Ya, and I don’t want that to happen.
Dawson: So, the situation with you is – your issues are so great, so deadly that unless God steps in and gives you the power to love, gives you the power to forgive, gives you the courage to face up to whatever is causing such rage in you. What hope do you have? You have no hope without the power of God.
Evan: I’ve lost my hope.
Dawson: Well, you can find it tonight. I’ll be totally candid with you. My goal is to help you find Jesus Christ, because that’s the only hope you have. I can give you 10 little self-help things to do when you are angry, but they don’t work with you. You’ve been so enraged for so long and so enraged to find answers. You’ve been hurt so many times. I’m going to have the friends in our community, some of them have been through what you’ve been through and most of them have come to Christ. They’d like to encourage you and love on you so that’s what we are going to do.
Peer to Peer Advice for Evan:
Have you been through challenges similar to Evan? Do you have advice to share with him?
We heard from Deedra, Dakota, and Danielle. They poured out love and encouragement for Evan! Here’s their advice:
Call Out to God, He’s There for You – Deedra
When I took this journey through Christ, it has been amazing. That’s all I can say! One thing that one of my very good friends has told me is anytime you feel you are struggling, and you don’t know what to do. You don’t know how to communicate to yourself, and you don’t know what to say, all you have to do is call His name and He is there for you. He’s there with you all the time, no matter what. He knows you by name. If you just call out to Him, He will always be there.
That’s one thing I’ve learned, is that anytime I feel that my past or my enemies have come up to me, all I have to do – in the name of Jesus Christ, I need you to cover me and guide me today. It is a wonderful feeling!
I always felt like I was missing something in my life, but once I asked Jesus back into my life, I can’t explain the things that have happened.
Don’t ever forget – He is there. He will always be there, and He will never leave your side.
You Have to Let Things Go – Dakota
I’ve gone through kind of the same thing you have. I was adopted. I didn’t like the family really. I was just mad, and I couldn’t stop being mad. My word of encouragement for you is…you look at Moses, several people in the Bible have anger problems. Moses still was a man of God, but he was still able to do miracles even though he was a hothead. Whenever something like that comes up, you have to let it go. It’s never easy. It’s not going to help you being mad at everything all the time.
I Was an Angry Child, But God is a Healer – Danielle
I was listening and I thought about all the things I went through as a child and how anger destroyed my life and relationships. So, I can empathize with him.
It will be a struggle, but with God, nothing is impossible. You will make it through. Join a church. Join a group of friends that are believers in Christ, and you can grow in Christ. You can build a relationship with positive people and positively grow in Christ.
It’s okay that sometimes you will fall back. I’ve been an angry child most of my life. I’m a survivor of sexual abuse and sexual assault. So, I was really angry. I was angry at God, angry at the other people, angry at myself. But God is a healer. He makes everything whole. He makes everything new. So, just hang in there.
Evan Accepts Christ
Dawson: Evan, are you with me my friend?
Evan: Yes
Dawson: Had enough of the old life?
Evan: Yes, definitely.
Dawson: Would you repeat this prayer after me?
Evan: Yes
Dawson: Boy, you’re ready aren’t you?
Evan: Yes, definitely.
Dawson: Repeat after me:
Dear God,
I need you. I realize I have rebelled against you. But Christ has died on the cross for my sins and is risen and has forgiven me. And right now, I ask that Christ would come into my life. And, Lord, I pray that you would help me see that you are in my life, and I am changed.
In Jesus name, Amen.
Congratulations, Evan, Christ has come into your life!
This is incredible! Evan accepting Christ! Woohoo! It is truly completely life-changing!
So, once you accept Christ, most of the time your circumstances are still the same, right? BUT – here’s the big BUT – BUT now you’ve God on your side and with you.
As Deedra said, when you don’t know what to do, when you’re struggling – when you’re angry you can call out to God, and He hears and helps. It’s one of those things that it’s hard to believe how powerful God is, until you experience it yourself. Once you surrender yourself to God, accept Him as your savior, and allow him into your life, you will see the huge difference God makes.
God will do things like:
- Heal you from past abuse
- Give you wisdom on how to handle a difficult situation
- Fill you with peace
- Help you with anger issues
As Danielle said, she was sexually abused and assaulted as a child. She’s dealt with anger for a long time from what happened, but God is healing her.
When we have emotional struggles like dealing with anger – God doesn’t necessarily take it all away in one fell swoop – He can, but oftentimes He slowly works on us – bit by bit, rubbing away at the rough edges. Allowing us to work through our pain with His help.
Dakota said you have to let things go – you can do that with God’s help.
And I’m just going to repeat what Deedra said,
Don’t ever forget – God is there. He will always be there, and He will never leave your side.
Psalm 18:28-30 “For You, O LORD, light my lamp; my God lights up my darkness. For in You I can charge an army, and with my God I can scale a wall. As for God, His way is perfect; the word of the LORD is flawless. He is a shield to all who take refuge in Him.”
A big thank you to Evan, for being with us on this podcast and for being so authentic and lovely! As well as a heartfelt thank you to Deedra, Dakota, and Danielle – why do you all have names that start with D? That’s funny! You all rock! You had such great advice!
Most of all though we want to thank our listeners, we hope this podcast has given you some great truths to reflect on. And if you’re going through something, chat with us at TheHopeLine.com.
Other Related Podcast Episodes:
How to Deal with Anger – EP 23
Stop Anger From Destroying Your Dreams – EP 29
Ronnie’s Life Changing Decision – EP 9
Resources for Anger:
- What is Anger?
- How to Deal With Anger?
- How to Manager Your Anger
- Using Your Anger for Good
- How to Stop Being Mad About Things Beyond Your Control
- Learn More About God
Relevant eBooks:
Need to talk to someone? Chat with a HopeCoach at TheHopeLine.
One last thing,
Dawson’s podcast, our website, everything we do is entirely listener supported. If you’d like to help us to continue our work, please make a gift right now on our Give Now page.
This is the Dawson McAllister Podcast, and until next time…Remember you are loved, you are valuable, and God has an amazing plan for your life. – Rachel
