Lexine says she cares too much about what other people think of her. She lets people walk over her because she’s afraid of what they’ll do if she doesn’t. It’s making her life a mess. Dawson concludes that she doesn’t see herself the way she ought to see herself, and that’s a beautiful, kind and loving person.

How to Not Care What Others Think About Me

LEXINE (DAYTON, OH) QUESTION:

Lexine: I’m a mess. I think I care too much about what people think that it’s making my life horrible. I keep lying to people. I lie all the time. I don’t mean to lie because I’m not a liar, but I just do.

DAWSON MCALLISTER'S ANSWER:

Dawson: If you lie all the time, wouldn’t that make you a liar?

Lexine: Yes, I guess it does. And then I let people walk all over me because I’m afraid of what they are going to think if I don’t. And it just makes my life a mess.

Dawson: What a cruel situation you’re in….to let other people’s judgment of you, rule your life.   

Lexine: I don’t know how to not let it rule my life.

Dawson: Well, you can’t say no because you don’t see yourself the way you ought to see yourself. You don’t see yourself as a beautiful person, as a kind person, as a loving person. You see yourself as a desperate person trying desperately to get someone to love you. Just with the hope that someone will love you, you’ll throw away your soul. Rather than say, wait a minute, I can accept myself for who I am, I can forgive myself for what I’ve done, and I can begin to get stronger again. Now, you need help to do that. A minister would be good, a counselor, or a rabbi…somebody who will help you dig into your past and figure out why your self-esteem is so fragile. But you have to be proactive and start changing the way you think about yourself.

You have somewhere to turn when you’re overwhelmed by thoughts of self-hate. Chat with a Hopecoach any night of the week.