Said No to Sex and My Boyfriend Broke up With Me

Ana had sex with her boyfriend. Then when she wouldn’t have sex with him the next day, he broke up with her. Now, he’s trying to kiss and hug her again.

All He Wanted Was Sex

ANA (TAMPA, FL) QUESTION:

Dawson: Hello Ana, what’s happening?

Ana: I just got out of this relationship with a guy. He told me he was madly in love with me and stuff like that.

Dawson: Did you believe him?

Ana: At first, I did.

Dawson: So, he says I love you. I’m madly in love with you. You believed it and felt good. But then things started to change, Ana.

Ana: Yes, really quickly.

Dawson: What happened?

Ana: All he wanted after that was sex.

Dawson: Did you give it to him?

Ana: Yes.

Dawson: So, after you gave him sex once, you said wait a minute here, I don’t want to go down this road.

Ana: Yes, and then the very next day, right after that, he dumped me because I wouldn’t give it to him.

Dawson: He dumped you because you wouldn’t put out.

Ana: He was just up here next to my house. He was hanging out with one of his friends here. Me and his friends are decently close. They’ll tell me stuff he says.

Dawson: Is this a girl or guy?

Ana: Girl. He was over here trying to kiss me, hug me, and everything like that. I’m just really confused, and I don’t know what to do.

Dawson: I’m not confused at all. Here’s a guy that says I love you madly, pushes you to have sex. You have sex, then he wants sex the next day. You say no and he dumps you. Then he flirts with other girls. Then he comes around hugging and kissing you. And you don’t know what to do?

Ana: He acts so sweet and then he turns, and I don’t know who he really is.

DAWSON MCALLISTER'S ANSWER:

Dawson: He’s a conman. The guy that dropped you, the guy that hits on girls behind your back, the guy who comes back and expects all this affection and sex after all he’s done to you…that’s the real guy. The other guy is a player. Since I’m not involved emotionally, I can see it clearly. If you want to save yourself a lot of pain, then stay away from him. Your emotions may tell you something else, but your emotions are lying to you. The first time you do it, you’re a victim. The second time you do it, you’re a volunteer. The third time you do it, you’re a fool. And I don’t want you to be a volunteer to this guy’s game. He’s just out getting who he can get. Don’t be a fool!

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TheHopeLine Team
For over 30 years, TheHopeLine has been helping students and young adults in crisis. Our team is made up of writers and mental health professionals who care deeply about helping others.
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