Addictive Behavior

The reasons why people become addicted are complex and frustrating. If you or a loved one have suffered from the impact of addiction, it can be hard to understand why addiction happens. I know the feeling of being in pain or struggling and wanting to understand the source of that pain.

Most often, addictive behavior doesn’t have a single root cause. Instead, there are many factors that can influence someone’s choices to engage in substance abuse or other harmful behavior.
Here are some of the most common reasons you or a loved one may find yourself feeling stuck in a cycle of addiction.

Genetics

Depending on someone’s family history with addiction, the tendency toward addictive or compulsive behavior could be genetic. This doesn’t mean it is impossible to manage. But it may help lessen some feelings of guilt and shame that come along with addictive habits or relapses into addiction.

Isolation

If you have been physically, socially, spiritually, or emotionally isolated from your support system, you may resort to addictive behaviors to numb the pain or self-soothe. The connection between isolation and addiction is a key reason why addiction support groups can be very effective. It is also encouraging to know that simply calling someone to check in, or spending quality time with someone you care about, may go a long way toward discouraging addictive behaviors.

Unhealthy Coping

I’ve talked with a lot of people over the years about addiction. Often, part of the root of the problem is that their addiction seems like the “easiest” way to end their pain. Something like drinking to excess or drug use may seem to relieve the pain right away, but it does harm to your mind and body. Addictive behaviors also warp your perception of yourself and your ability to face challenges.

But here’s a truth I hope you find liberating. Many people living a life in addiction recovery have learned something about themselves: they are strong enough to cope with life’s challenges without drugs, alcohol, or self-harming behavior.

Finding healthy coping mechanisms to build into your routine in place of the unhealthy ones is a great first step. This could be anything from going on walks to journaling to spending time in quiet meditation. For some, turning to faith is an essential part of recovery.

Many recovering addicts have found great strength and encouragement in God’s unconditional love and forgiveness. While prayer and going to a place of worship may not stop addiction by themselves, they can be an important part of a healthier approach to the struggles of life.

Lacking Support

You’re doing the right thing: looking for answers to questions about addiction, so you can get help for yourself or your loved one.

And you may have told people who care about you what you’re facing. But friends and family are often not enough of a support system. Attempts to stay clean and sober are more likely to fail without expert support from qualified people like counselors, therapists, and dedicated addiction recovery groups.

Luckily, the information you need to start building a strong support network is at your fingertips, starting here. You can talk to a HopeCoach at TheHopeLine if you need help finding resources, answering questions, or getting more information about recovery. We are here for you, and we believe in you.

To the person who is dead serious about recovery from addiction, whether it's cutting, gambling, drugs, eating disorders, etc., there is hope. Find out more here. 

Accepting Praise is Not Selfish

If you struggle with self-esteem, you almost certainly find it difficult to accept praise. And this goes the other way, too. If you’ve noticed that you deflect compliments or reject praise, the deeper reason for this is likely connected to low self-esteem.

Sometimes, we resist praise because we think it’s egotistical. But it’s important to remember that accepting praise is not selfish or arrogant. Compliments and encouraging remarks from friends and loved ones are meant to lift your spirits. They are beliefs other people have about the good things you do, your talents, and what gifts you bring to the world.

So why is it so hard for you to accept praise even when you love the person offering it to you? It’s likely because you believe the opposite about yourself, and that sense of tension makes you feel uncomfortable. So, to ease or end the discomfort, you deflect or discount the compliment.

How to Get Better at Accepting Praise

I know it’s difficult to accept compliments for a lot of reasons, but if you have low self-esteem, it can feel impossible. The good news is, there are simple things you can do to get better at accepting compliments and praise, like:

• Expressing gratitude: Simply saying thank you (no “buts…”!) is the easiest way to get comfortable with accepting compliments over time. It keeps you from dwelling on any discomfort with the topic, and avoids deflecting or disagreeing with compliments, which can strain your relationships and friendships.
• Note the compliment: If you have deep self-esteem issues, noting praise you receive in a journal may make it easier to remember, and may help you reshape your view of yourself to align better with what others see over time.

Acknowledging teamwork: If you are being complimented for something you did as a group, or with a partner,

• acknowledging that teamwork and sharing the credit can make accepting compliments a bit easier.

As with most efforts to change our mindset, getting better at accepting compliments (and the resulting improvement in self-esteem) takes time. But even making a small effort every day will go a long way toward helping you develop healthier habits.

Sometimes, it also helps me to remember how much God loves me, and how worthy He thinks I am of love. Since I trust in God, and that He is wise and understanding, trusting His love for me can be helpful when I am struggling to recognize the good things about myself.

Improving Self-Esteem: Extra Support

Sometimes you need extra support building your self-esteem. That is perfectly normal, and many people seek help with this every day. You can get a little extra support in this area from close friends, family, a faith leader, or a counselor.

Or you can talk to a mentor. Mentoring is a great way to feel heard, supported, and accepted by someone who can help guide you through some of the messier feelings that surface when working on your self-esteem.

Talk to a Hope Coach today to explore limiting beliefs you might have about yourself, and how to find freedom and joy in who you are. We are here to listen, and ready to help.

If you have low self-esteem or self-worth, you can feel better about yourself. Here are 6 easy ways to feel better about yourself today.

Being Honest About My Depression Just Got Me Lectures

I've been struggling with depression for 3 and a half years. I kept my depression from my family because being honest with my mom about what I'm dealing with has only ever led to lectures. I don't feel like they care about me. I feel like they just want me there to clean the house so they can stay in their rooms all day. All these feelings fueled my depression and took a toll on me every day.

I Couldn't Take it Anymore

It was getting to a point I couldn't take much more. So, one time I took a sharp knife, and I was trying to convince myself to just end it. The only thing that stopped me was the little bit of hope I had left.

I moved in with a family friend shortly after this but found out the friend was a pathological liar and a drug addict.  This all messed with my mind as well, and I got to a point I was desperate to stop hurting. I couldn't cope with my past or my present, so I started cutting myself

I Had Anger Towards God

For a long time, I thought God was responsible for everything I've been through and that caused me to feel a lot of anger towards Him. But then one night I chatted with The Hopeline, and the HopeCoach I talked to helped me realize God is not responsible for the bad things in my life. Satan is. I understood the truth they were telling me that God is not capable of being bad.  This understanding has allowed me too not be angry at Him anymore. With this new perspective, I'm reading The Bible and trying to get to know Him and build a relationship with Him.

TheHopeLine Has Been There for Me

I still struggle with self-harm but focusing on the positives helps, and every day it gets a little easier not to give in to it. TheHopeLine has been there for me when I've needed someone to talk to and help me off the ledge. They helped me realize God will always love me and He will never leave me or hurt me, and nothing I have done or will do could change that.   - Brittany

Do You Need Help for Depression or Self-Harm?

If you are struggling with depression or self-harm, like Brittany, you are not alone. We are here to listen and help you with what is going on in your life. Chat online with a Hope Coach for a free, non-judgmental, live chat with a real person.

Resources for Depression: 

• Find out how blogger Jessica Seale found strength and hope in the bible for depression and suicidal thoughts: Why I Live: Depression, Suicide and the Bible 
• Contact our partner, Focus on the Family, for a free counseling consultation and referral service.
• Free eBook from TheHopeLine: Understanding Depression 

Resources for Self-Harm:

• This checklist gives you 15 Ways to Distract Yourself from Self-harm.
• Contact our partner, Door of Hope, for emotional support, guidance and resources for self-injury.
• Free eBook from TheHopeLine: Understanding Self-Harm and Cutting

Healthy Anger Management is Possible

When you get really angry, it can affect your physical health. Whether you’re mad at a friend, fighting with a parent, or going through a breakup, anger can be tough to get through in a healthy way, and could easily take its toll on your physical health.

There have been times I’ve been so upset that it felt like anger took over my mind and body. My shoulders tensed up. My stomach tightened, and I felt my body temperature and heart rate rise. In those moments, it was harder for me to think clearly about my feelings, and I often did or said things I regretted later. 

That’s not to say anger on its own is “wrong” or “bad”. In fact, there are plenty of good reasons to be angry. If someone has hurt you or treated someone you love cruelly, for example, it’s completely understandable why you would be upset. However, if you let it rob you of your peace of mind or drain you physically, that’s a sign that the way you express your anger (or the choice to bottle it up rather than express it), is unhealthy.

The physical anger response varies from person to person, but some signs you are carrying anger in the body include, “teeth grinding, fists clenching, flushing, paling, prickly sensations, numbness, sweating, muscle tensions and temperature changes” [source: Travis].

If you’re feeling any of this when you’re upset, you could be letting anger get the better of you. Feeling physical signs of anger is a natural response to such a strong emotion. There’s nothing “bad” about feeling angry, and even feeling strong anger. But anger can sometimes become so overwhelming that we feel like we might hurt ourselves, hurt others, or damage something valuable. If your anger is pushing you to the limit, there are things you can do to stop it from taking over and becoming harmful.

I would like to offer you 7 anger management tips to help you funnel your anger, use it for good and release it from your body. 

1. Recognize My Feelings are Valuable

One of the things that adds to frustration when you already feel upset is that people sometimes just tell you to, “calm down”, and “stop being emotional” without really listening to what you’re saying or feeling. But your feelings are valuable, and there are often real reasons to be angry, especially about injustice or harm. Remembering you and your feelings have value is a good first step toward mentioning and managing those feelings.

2. Use My Energy for Something Meaningful

Anger can “fuel” us, can’t it? After all, we get a surge of energy from the adrenaline pumping through our veins when we get mad. We want to do something with what we’re feeling. We want things to change. I think that can be turned toward healthy and meaningful actions, but of course it isn’t just going to happen overnight. It will take work, and some days you may feel like you aren’t able to stop being angry. That’s okay. It’s all part of the process. Just keep trying and do your best to find hope in the progress you’ve made. 

You probably can’t change the person or situation that’s making you angry, but if you’re angry about harm or injustice, there are things you can do with that energy:

• Volunteer to help people or causes you care about: Taking time to uplift people who have experienced hurt, injustice, or mistreatment is definitely a healthy use of our anger.
• Reach out to others who need encouragement. Sometimes getting “out of my own head” for a moment to write, call, or text someone to check in with them is just what I need to get my own difficult feelings and situations into perspective. 
• Set goals for changes you want to make: Anger often comes from wishing things were different. Are there things in your own life and routines you’d like to change? Working on those can help you find peace and acceptance, which is useful when acknowledging things, we can’t change right away. In addition, you will make yourself proud of the growth you are capable of, even if you couldn’t change anything in the moment.

3. Remember People Care About Me

We get angry because we get hurt or because people who are important to us have been treated unkindly or unjustly. In those moments, it can seem like no one cares, because your feelings are so strong and present. But there are many people who care about you and who want to help you when times are tough. Keep a list of people you’re grateful for, who you know love you unconditionally, and remember them first when your anger is trying to convince you no one cares. Another good idea is making a list of things you are grateful for in your life, whether it be a family pet, a memory, a piece of music, etc. These lists can center you in the heat of the moment and bring some comfort. If it’s hard to think of people or things you’re grateful for, start with happy memories, favorite songs, or listing shows, movies, or books that make you feel better when nothing else seems to work.

4. Breathe

Deep breathing is helpful at calming the heart rate and slowing your body down. In a moment of intense anger, taking some deep breaths before you act or speak can be the difference between an overreaction and a
healthy response. You can try a breathing exercise right now to see what a difference it can make. 

• Breathe in through your nose, slowly, for a few seconds. 
• Hold your breath for a few seconds. 
• Breathe out slowly through your mouth. 
• The tension that releases with each breath will likely help you feel more relaxed and centered, which is key to managing anger in a healthy way. 

It’s good to practice deep breathing techniques daily to get in the habit of calming and centering ourselves. When we do get angry, we are more likely to pause and take some deep breaths if it’s already something we’ve been practicing. Even better, we will likely understand the benefits of these cleansing breaths the more we engage in centering ourselves before reacting.

5. Move Your Body

Movement is another excellent way to battle anger and stress. Whether it’s gentle stretching, going for a walk, or more intensive exercising to release the pent-up energy that puts you on edge, these are all helpful tools that can positively affect your mind and body. Working healthy movement into your daily self-care routine makes it an easier “go-to” when you’re feeling upset.

6. Pray

If you have never prayed before, praying about anger may seem like a strange suggestion. But prayer is a good option when you feel like your problems are too big for you to understand, to solve, or even to control. Prayer doesn’t require you to be in a good mood, or to feel great about your life. There is a whole book of the Bible, called the Psalms, with written prayers, many of which were prayed during times of intense anger and frustration. 

That’s the good thing about prayer. You can pray no matter how upset you are, or what state of mind you're in. You can even pray if you’ve never prayed before, or if you’re unsure if God will even listen to you. That’s because God loves us no matter how we feel, whether we are certain we believe in Him or not, and he wants to hear our prayers. 

I’ve found it really helpful to pray for the people who make me angry, too. It’s not easy to do, especially in the heat of the moment, but it can make a big difference in our mindset over time. Does praying make others’ hurtful words and actions okay? Of course not. But it is something that can help me remember that God can handle things and people, that are too big, or too much, for me to take on by myself.

If you have a hard time praying, or are unsure how to pray, it could help to have someone you trust pray with you, or to ask someone to pray for you. 

7. Know I Can Get Help

Anger can be overwhelming, especially when you have other physical and mental health issues that make it more difficult to manage strong emotions on your own. Don’t feel afraid or ashamed to reach out for help. You can talk to a faith leader, a close friend, or a counselor. And if you’re not sure where to start, you can get help here.
TheHopeLine offers online mentoring and resources if you need help with anger or other tough emotions. Talk to a HopeCoach today to start sorting through your anger. We’re here to listen and help without judgment, and there is hope for greater peace of mind.

Has anger taken over your life? Listen to my podcast as people talk openly with me about their anger issues looking for help to deal with it. 

Life can be tough. Whether it’s difficult consequences from our choices or unkind words and actions from someone else, low self-esteem and low self-worth are part of life for many of us. Dealing with low self-esteem is never easy, but it helps to understand why we’re feeling down, so we can make a plan to turn things around. Once you’ve had some time to explore it and think things through, it can be really helpful to reach out to someone for support. 

Through the years, I've talked to many on my radio show that told me they are feeling down, and they don't feel like they are worthy of love and acceptance. What I do know is that those times don’t last forever. There is hope. You can feel better about yourself. Here are some simple things to do when you're having a bout of low self-esteem.

1. Talking to a Loved One 

Talking to a friend or family member is a great way to get a boost of encouragement when you need it most. Let your friends and family know when you’re having a rough time. And if there’s something specific you need to feel better, let them know what your needs are. Chances are, they can help, or know someone who can. If it’s not a problem they can solve, just knowing my friends care and are there to listen can be encouraging to me.

2. Doing Your Favorite Hobby

What are you good at? What do you know a lot about? Spend time learning about and doing those things when you feel down.
Remembering your skills and talents will be a great self-esteem boost.

3.  Journaling 

Writing things down is often key to helping me get things off my chest, including when I’m feeling bad about myself. If you spend time journaling, write about how you’re feeling, and how you’d like things to change. Then try writing down what you like about yourself. If that’s too difficult, try writing about what people you care about like about you. If you wrote about what makes you feel down, be sure to come back to it, and journal about what makes you feel better.

4. Finding Motivation

There are plenty of people who are very motivational and inspirational, and their wisdom can go a long way to improving your self-worth. Look for TedTalks, motivational speakers, or books by people you admire to uplift you when you’re struggling.

5. Reconnecting with Your Faith 

Faith is hard to hold on to when you’re not feeling good about yourself. But when you’re able to be reminded how much God loves you, it can help you feel comforted and encouraged. If you don’t know where to start, spend time in silence, try saying a prayer, or look up encouraging Bible verses that raise your hopes. Remember, God loves you, and He sees you as worthy of love.

6. Talking to a Mentor

Sometimes, talking to someone who’s worked through difficult feelings and come out on the other side can help you have hope that things will get better for you, too. If you’re not sure where to start, you can get that support right now.
TheHopeLine offers no-cost online mentoring for people struggling with their self-esteem. Talk to a HopeCoach today about how you’re feeling, and what you can do to feel better sooner. We are here to listen, and we believe things will look up.

Isolation can negatively impact mental health, but there are ways to feel connected and strengthen friendships. Find out more here.

You’ve probably heard lots of songs, read lots of books, and seen lots of movies where people fall in love and say they’re “addicted” to love and being in love. It’s strong, effective language that gives us an idea of the intensity of a relationship. But it troubles me to see that painted as the ideal. Because love addiction is a real thing. Like other addictive behaviors, it can disrupt lives and damage relationships without proper treatment.

More Than Just Enjoying Feeling in Love

The reason people become addicted to love and being in love is because those feelings make us feel good. And just like an addiction to drugs or alcohol, people can become hooked on the feelings they get when they love someone intensely, to the point where that’s all they think about.

Love addiction goes beyond enjoying feeling in love or being happy with your partner. If you are love addicted, you feel controlled by the desire to be in a relationship, or with the person you’re in a relationship with.

• You can’t stop thinking or talking about relationships or your partner.
• You’re always anxious about whether you will be in a relationship or stay in a relationship. Your physical health is affected: you can’t eat or sleep, and you stop taking care of yourself adequately in favor of focusing on your relationship or your partner.
• You start feeling afraid about being alone and feeling unloved, no matter what else is going on. It feels like you’re coming up with reasons a relationship may not work out.
• There’s always something more you want from relationships.

Far from being a happy, carefree time, a relationship for someone with love addiction feels like you are never satisfied, always longing. You are always chasing the “high” that feeling loved gives you, but it’s never quite what you want or expect.

Love Addiction Damages Relationships

The truth is, I’ve seen love addiction damage relationships. It sets impossible expectations for your partner and leaves them feeling frustrated and drained. It leads to tension because, while you are focused on them, it is so that you can feel better, feel happier, or feel more loved. Your partner often feels like their needs are ignored, and that whatever they do, no matter how much they act out of love, it’s never good enough to keep you at peace and satisfied with the relationship.

Love addiction can erode trust if it’s left unaddressed long-term. It can also lead to relationship-hopping. If you’re not able to find the same “in love” feeling with someone for an extended period of time, you’ll likely end up leaving an otherwise healthy or stable relationship.

You Can Recover from Love Addiction

The good news is, love addiction can be treated, and healing can happen. I’ve seen plenty of people find truly happy and fulfilling relationships after beginning love addiction recovery. And better yet, I’ve seen people become more content with who they are, whether they’re in a relationship or not.

Love addiction treatment is similar to that of other addictive behaviors. There are 12-step programs and organizations that offer specialized support for people with love addiction. I encourage you to do some research - there are plenty of people who are ready and willing to help.

I also want to remind you that even when your struggles with love addiction seem the most difficult, there is always hope, and you are always loved. You are loved by God unconditionally, and He wants you to experience true joy and true fulfillment in all your relationships. He will give you the strength you need to engage in meaningful recovery.

And you’re already in a supportive place. TheHopeLine offers resources and online mentoring to aid in love addiction recovery. Talk to a HopeCoach today to get support for love addiction and begin your healing journey. We are here for you, and we’ll listen without judgment.

To break free from love addiction you have to own it. It is so hard to let our false beliefs go while admitting reality all at the same time. Find out more here.

How to Heal After Abuse

It breaks my heart to know you’re dealing with the effects of abuse. You probably feel a lot of difficult emotions. Maybe you struggle with hating yourself. Maybe you’re having trouble reclaiming stability in your mental health.

Whatever you’re feeling, it’s safe and helpful to acknowledge it. Understanding your feelings helps you sort through them, find meaning, and reclaim your hope.

Sometimes, no matter what you try, or how determined you are, it’s going to feel as though you will never heal or find happiness after abuse.
When you feel this way, it’s important to remember that healing from any painful experience is not like flipping a switch. It doesn’t happen at one moment in time. It’s a lifelong journey you take one day at a time.

If you’re not sure where to start on the path to healing after abuse, reminding yourself of these truths once a day may be helpful.

Abuse Is Never Your Fault

Blaming yourself for abuse is natural. After all, the person who abused you probably spent a lot of time and effort to convince you that their cruelty and rage sprang from something you said.

But the truth is this: abuse is never, ever your fault. Abusive behavior is only the responsibility of the person who abused you, and they are the only one who has to answer for or justify what they’ve done. Remind yourself of this fact as often as you need to as you work toward healing each day.

Abusive Words Are Not True

One of the most toxic things about abusive relationships is how true abusive words feel to the person victimized by abuse. When you remember what you were told about yourself, chances are you have to fight not to believe those things. That’s because you were manipulated by your abuser, who lied to you in order to continue their harmful behaviors.

Reminding yourself abusive words are not true is an important step toward healing. But it will likely take more than just your efforts to retrain your brain.

Support groups, counseling, and mentoring can be very helpful in post-abuse recovery. People who are specially trained to help others heal after abuse know which techniques are more effective, and what works best when healing from the various types of abuse.

People Find Hope After Abuse

One thing you will notice as you hear stories from other abuse survivors is this: very often, people find hope and rediscover purpose as they recover from abuse. And it may not be through a major breakthrough or life transformation. Reconnecting with feelings of peace, hope, love, and gratitude may start as simply as:

• Developing a healthy self-care routine that nourishes your mind, body and spirit
• Spending time in places where you feel at peace spiritually or closer to God
• Enjoying nature, a hobby, or a favorite book
• Visiting beloved friends and family

Whatever efforts you make, I believe you will rebuild a sense of meaning and hope in your life, especially with people in your corner to help you through it.

You Can Get Support Right Away

If there is a silver lining for you to find today, it’s this. You can get support right away to begin healing from abuse. Talk to a HopeCoach at TheHopeLine if you’re not sure where to start. We can help connect you with resources in your area, suggest healthy coping habits, and provide encouragement. We are proud of you for seeking healing, and we believe you will find hope and happiness again.

Knowing when to leave an unhealthy relationship can be hard. It comes down to safety and self-care. Find out if you should leave or stay. 

Visit Our Partner Resources for Assistance: 
The National Domestic Violence Hotline (24/7)
RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) 24/7

How to Know If You Should Get Back with an Ex

Getting back with your ex: is it ever a good idea? I’ve had a lot of people ask me about that over the years. Whether it’s possible to get back with your ex depends on where you are in life and what your relationship was like before it ended. It’s best to ask yourself some tough questions and be honest about the answers.

How Much Time Has Passed?

Sometimes it’s tempting to call, text, or meet up with someone you broke up with recently because you feel lonely, and you miss being with them. This feeling is natural, but it’s important not to reenter any relationship without giving yourself time to take care of yourself, including:

• Time to heal from pain and anger
• Time to remember who you are as an individual, and what you want from life
• Time to get the support you need to move forward in a healthy way
• Time to gain contentment and peace

There’s no set amount of time that all of this happens. But being attentive to how you’re feeling, where you’re focused, what your priorities are, and how much emotional energy you have can give you an idea of when you are at a place where you can reconsider a relationship without making a rash decision.

As you think this through, it may help to meditate on the situation, or pray about how you’re feeling. God cares about your relationships, and He can give you the wisdom to make difficult decisions and find the support you need.

How Have Things Changed?

Along with giving you more clarity, the passage of time can help you see whether things have changed.

If your stress level has decreased, or if you feel your life has a greater stability since your breakup, that could mean you’re prepared to re-engage in conversations with someone you dated.

Have you changed? Maybe your breakup taught you some things about yourself that you’ve been working really hard to change and correct. If you feel like you’ve made a lot of progress, perhaps your ex would be open to having a conversation about your relationship.

Has your ex changed? It’s impossible to know whether someone’s heart or mind has truly changed. But we can often observe changes in their behavior. It may be that your ex has made some adjustments to how they communicate, how they respond when they’re upset, or what they want from a relationship. If you and others have observed that, perhaps you can consider reconnecting to see how things are going.

An important note here:

if you or your ex had significant issues with addiction or abuse, changing addictive behaviors and patterns doesn’t happen overnight. It can take years, or even decades, before significant progress is made. Your safety should be your number one priority.

Why Did We Break Up?

It’s a difficult truth, but you aren’t with your ex-girlfriend or boyfriend because there was an issue that led to a breakup. Something happened to cause your relationship to end.

People break up for many reasons. Was your breakup because you wanted different things? Were the two of you at different places in life? Or did things end because you found yourself in a toxic relationship that wasn’t good for your mental health?

If the relationship didn’t feel safe or healthy when you were last together, it is best to focus your time and energy on friendships and relationships where you are thriving and free to be yourself without being manipulated or controlled.

Sometimes, whether or not you should get back together is not clear cut. If you need relationship advice, you are in a safe place.

Talk to a HopeCoach at TheHopeLine. We offer encouragement as you navigate relationship challenges. Whatever you’re facing, we are here to listen and help.

Thinking about getting back together with your ex, but feeling guilty about the breakup? Read my blog for the answers to your questions.

How to Handle an Unplanned Pregnancy

A “crisis pregnancy” can happen for a lot of reasons.  Maybe you’re dealing with the pain and trauma of a sexual assault that resulted in an unplanned pregnancy. Perhaps you and your boyfriend found out you were pregnant before you felt financially prepared to raise a child. Or maybe the person you were with before becoming pregnant has decided he doesn’t want to be in the child’s life. 

Encouragement During Unplanned Pregnancy

Whatever the circumstances are, if you’re facing a crisis pregnancy, you can get through it. I want you to know these things:

• You are not alone. You have people who care about you, and there are plenty of resources and organizations you can count on for help and support. 
• God loves you. No matter where you are in your faith journey, it can be tested by something like an unplanned pregnancy. Depending on the circumstances, you may feel guilt, shame, or fear that God doesn’t love you. But he loves you no matter what circumstances you’re facing, and he will not abandon you.
• You will find a solution: If you seek people who provide caring support during unplanned pregnancy, you can and will find a solution that affords you and your baby a good quality of life.  

Partner Organizations for Crisis Pregnancy

If you have told friends and family, you trust you’re pregnant, they’ll likely offer to help. But if they are unable to help, or if you don’t feel safe sharing information about your pregnancy with people in your life, you’re not without help. We partner with many organizations who offer compassionate crisis pregnancy support, including:

• Option Line: Option Line is a crisis pregnancy and abortion information hotline. They assess the need and then connect you with a pregnancy center in your area. 
• Bethany Christian Services:  When you're facing an unplanned pregnancy, your mind jumps right to options. Before you decide, take a deep breath and inform yourself about parenting, adoption, and abortion. Bethany is there to walk alongside you. 
• Mercy Multiplied: Mercy Multiplied has helped thousands of young women recover from crises and find strength. This is a residential program, so you are surrounded by community and support when you need it most. 

I have no doubt that one of our supporting organizations will be a great fit for your needs as you determine next steps during pregnancy. 

Crisis Pregnancy Support from TheHopeLine

You are already in a kind and caring place if you need someone to talk to about your pregnancy. TheHopeLine offers one-on-one mentoring and other pregnancy support resources. Reaching out is a key first step to getting the help you need. And it may help you feel less overwhelmed to know you have someone in your corner helping you make a plan for your health and your baby’s well-being. 

We are here to help. Talk to a HopeCoach if you’re pregnant and don’t know what to do. We will always be here to listen and offer encouragement without judgment, so you can make good choices for yourself and your baby.

Adoption may or may not be an option you are seriously considering. To help you with your decision read this blog that answers 10 questions expectant mothers ask about adoption.