Breaking up is one of the hardest things we go through as adults. The end of a dating relationship, even a brief one, is painful and confusing.

If you’ve broken up with your boyfriend or girlfriend, it’s natural to wonder how long it takes to recover from a breakup. After all, you want to get back to feeling like yourself, and you want to enjoy your life again.

Healing after a breakup varies for everyone who goes through this experience. Here are some things I’ve noticed that influence the time it takes for things to feel like they’re getting back to normal after a breakup.

What Happened?

While what happened is beyond your control at this point, the circumstances of your breakup will impact how long it affects you, and to what degree. Pain, frustration, and sadness are valid after any relationship ends. But a breakup caused by a traumatic event like cheating or emotional abuse is more emotionally draining than when two personalities just didn’t mesh.

Trauma requires more specialized support, especially if you are dealing with intense depression or anger that you feel like you can’t control. Don’t rush the healing process, especially if you’ve been through an intensely painful experience. Reaching out to a mentor or counselor you can trust is going to be fundamentally important to finding a healthier perspective and more lasting healing.

Are You Ready to Let Go?

Breakups cause us to grieve the relationship we’ve lost. You’ve probably found yourself feeling like a part of you has died, even though you have to go on with your day-to-day life. After all, there was once care, companionship, and affection that’s not a part of your life anymore.

Recovering from a breakup is much like moving through the stages of grief. You’re going to feel differently on different days, depending on your life circumstances and how long you’ve been on this healing journey.

But in general, moving toward acceptance is a good way to develop healing habits after heartbreak. If you can work on accepting what happened, how you feel, and the fact that you will find happiness again, then the pain of your breakup won’t always be as intense as it is now.

If you are struggling with acceptance and picking yourself up after you fall into sadness, I find remembering God’s love to be calming and helpful. Even when having faith that things will get better feels impossible, He’s never far from us, and He has plans for our healing.

What Support Do You Have?

Your support system is critical when it comes to getting past the intense pain and frustration you feel after a breakup. It’s important to surround yourself with people who can support, encourage, and spur you on as you commit to healing from your heartbreak.

This could mean a therapist, someone in your faith community, your parents, or a close friend. Make sure the people you have supporting you are people you trust to tell you the truth, to be kind, and to help you stay hopeful about the future.

If you aren’t sure where to turn for support, you can start right here. TheHopeLine has helped many people rediscover happiness after breaking up, and we are here to listen. Talk to a HopeCoach whenever you need extra support. We are here for you, and we believe things will turn out well.

It seems like every great romance includes an inevitable heartbreak. But before you swear off relationships forever, read this blog.

Bullying can be incredibly painful, and its negative impact can last for years to come. But you don’t have to remain trapped by a bully, and there are things you can do to stop their painful cycle of controlling and harmful behavior.

If you recognize you’re being bullied, there are always people who care that want to help you grow and heal after bullying.

What Is Bullying?

Bullying is more than anger. People can be angry without being cruel or deliberately harming others. Bullying isn’t fighting with a friend, although unkind things may be said during a particularly tense disagreement. If talking through a disagreement ended the tension between you, then you weren’t being bullied.

“Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior.

Think about the people in your life.

• Is anyone aggressive with you? Do you feel forced to do anything you don’t want to do, or to put up with them causing you pain and discomfort?
• Do you feel like they are stronger, more powerful, or more influential than you in a way that disappointing or saying no to them scares you?
• Do they seem to enjoy being cruel to you?
• Does their unkind behavior persist, even after you’ve told them you were hurt and wanted it to stop?

If you answered “yes” to any of those questions, you are being bullied. But things are not hopeless. There is always hope to break free from painful relationship dynamics, including bullying.

If someone you care about has told you they are being treated this way, then you are witnessing bullying.

Can Bullying Stop?

Unfortunately, there’s nothing I can do to stop someone from bullying someone else. What I can do, though, is intervene when I know someone is being bullied to make sure they’re safe and getting any emotional, physical, or spiritual wounds addressed by people who are trained and ready to help. If you or someone you care about is being bullied:

• Ask someone for help. This can be a teacher or professor, a pastor, or a parent.
• Stay calm. Don’t challenge the person bullying you or escalate the situation.
• Distance yourself from the bully as much as possible. The people you’ve asked for help can also help you make a plan to maintain a safe distance.

Don’t feel any pressure to talk things out or try to make things right with the bully if they frighten or threaten you or your friend. Make safety and well-being your top priorities.

How to Heal After Bullying

Healing after bullying is not an overnight thing. It may take a long time for you to uncover all the ways that a bully’s painful treatment has hurt you. Try taking these steps if you have been repeatedly hurt by someone’s bullying:

• Allow time. Don’t rush the healing or “getting over it” process.
• Care for your needs. Be sure you or your friend who is being bullied are seeing a doctor, a therapist, and a trusted spiritual guide to take care of immediate hurts and needs that arise as a result of being bullied.
• Center yourself. Finding faith is hard when we’ve been hurt. But spend a few minutes every day reminding yourself you were created and given this life to live it fully. There may not always be something big to celebrate. But try finding little ways every day to be reminded of God’s love.

Healing in any way is a journey, and it can be tough. You can talk to a HopeCoach at TheHopeLine if you’re not sure where to turn after bullying. We are here to listen and help you find the support you need to help you or your friend after bullying,

For more help with bullying, watch this video by my friend, Brooks Gibbs, on what to do when you see bullying. 

The new year can be an exciting time to set goals and dream big. But sometimes, it can be hard to believe that our hopes are worthwhile, or that we can do the challenging things we set out to do.

Faith comes in handy when I am struggling to believe I have what it takes to fulfill my New Year’s resolutions. I may not be able to accomplish some of my goals on my own steam. But when I remember I have God’s help during tough times, it can feel a lot less overwhelming to keep going.

Faith is a sureness or certainty in what you believe, even if you can’t see every outcome or prove everything with evidence. Faith means believing in God's faithfulness and promises even when you everything in your life is not going right.

Whether you are a new believer or have a lifelong relationship with God, I hope these verses encourage you to start the new year with faith and hope as you commit to growing and learning.

“I Can Do All This”

In his letter to the church in Philippi, the apostle Paul wrote:

“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”
- Phil. 4:12-13

Everything can seem new and fresh at the beginning of the year, but real struggles will happen. And it comforts me to know that I will be able to find contentment and strength to keep moving forward with God’s help, even when things get tough.

“Plans to Give You a Hope”

Often the struggles and trauma we have to overcome means that our goals are deeper, and the struggle to accomplish them more difficult. We might have to wrestle with painful truths, let go of harmful habits or addictions, or end a toxic relationship. Luckily, God is with us:

“‘For I know the plans I have for you’, declares the Lord, ‘Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come to pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.’”
- Jer. 29:11-13

These words were spoken at a time when Israel was desperate and suffering, and God kept His promise to them. If your goals for the year will be challenging, prayer is powerful, and can help you find the strength to keep going.

“All These Things Will Be Given to You”

Sometimes, I worry about where to put my focus when it comes to accomplishing my goals for the new year. Sometimes, my goals relate to my relationships. I might have some things I really need to improve in my work. Or maybe I’m neglecting the self-care I need to meet my emotional needs.

“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
- Matt. 6:33-35

Jesus teaches me that, even though I will pursue many important things in life, I should never lose my focus on God or my dedication to my faith. When I make that priority, I realize that God takes care of me. Even if I don’t get everything I want, I am able to have what I need to grow and find contentment.

If you’ve been looking for support to accomplish your goals, need encouragement in your faith, or just want to start the new year off more hopeful, TheHopeLine can help. Talk to a HopeCoach when you need extra encouragement or explore our podcasts and resources. We are here to support you and we’re praying for you to have a happy, healthy new year.

Sometimes we make choices in life that we wonder, does God forgive me? For help with these feelings read my blog, Does God Forgive Everything?

I understand that being content with being single can be really hard. After all, every movie, TV show, and commercial seems to be focused on finding someone.

I've talked to many people who feel frustrated and lonely. I try to help them see that being alone doesn’t have to be a bad thing.
With the right outlook, your time as a single person can be one of the most valuable and enjoyable times of your life. Here are some ideas for finding contentment without a romantic relationship.

Get to Know Yourself

Being single is not always easy, but there’s plenty to be thankful for about that season of life. It’s a great time to get to know yourself.

Use the time alone to explore your likes, your dislikes, and your interests. Have you wanted to travel? Plan a trip. Thinking of learning a new skill? Sign up for an evening class. Because you’re the decision-maker, the single years are a great time to develop your creativity and build greater independence.

Be Kind to Yourself

You won’t always be in a great mood about being single. It’s normal to have ups and downs. It’s important not to ignore your emotions. Be kind to yourself. Try these healthy self-care habits when you need to feel more centered.

• When you feel alone, remember the friends and family who love you.
• When you feel overwhelmed, take yourself for a walk, or get some rest.
• In the quiet moments, resist the temptation to plug in. Use the silence to clear your head and think things through.
• When you aren’t sure what to do about your feelings, try spending time in meditation, or say a prayer. God is always with us, even when we feel like no one else will understand.
• When plans fall through with a friend, do something special for yourself: curl up with your favorite book, go to a movie, or have a meal at your favorite restaurant.

Cherish All Relationships

I understand it’s challenging being single in a society that places so much emphasis on romance. But the truth is, there are many fulfilling relationships that can bring great joy to your life.

Make it a habit to schedule time with loved ones and make every effort to be present during those interactions. Notice the kindness of family and friends and look for kindness and love. When that’s your focus, you’ll find great fulfillment from the meaningful relationships in your life.

If your family and friends live far away, try making a friend at places you frequent. School, the gym, or your place of worship may be good places to start.

Volunteering for a cause you believe in is also a great way to meet people, find a sense of purpose, and keep yourself occupied. Connection happens everywhere. I’m hopeful you’ll form many relationships during your single years that you’ll treasure for years to come.
There may still be days when being content outside of a romantic relationship is tough. TheHopeLine is here for you. Talk to a HopeCoach whenever you need support. We are here to listen as you grow in your self-knowledge and self-worth.

Want more information on being single? Read my blog, It's Perfectly OK to Be Single and Not Dating. 

Hi my name is Mike, I met this girl and I wasn't at all expecting us to be anything more than a fling. Then I fell so deeply in love with her that I couldn't believe it myself. I knew that I was likely going to get hurt, but I couldn't stop myself. It has been six years since I loved this deeply.

I Knew I Would Get Hurt

But it's complicated. I accepted when she told me that she was with someone else. She said they probably wouldn't last so I should wait. I was suffering, but I kept smiling because of love. She never told me that she loved me until it was time for me to leave the state which was 2 and a half months after we met. I always got mad because I believed the love was one-sided and I was just hurting myself.

However, when I left town, we started talking on video and she started telling me how much she loves me and all that. Then for the second time she told me that she broke up with her boyfriend. I begged her not to go back to him as she did before. She promised.

Maybe I expected too much because I always wanted her to confess her emotions to me, but she told me that her love for me was on and off and not constant. I've tried to leave her but my heart bleeds and burns when I try, I cannot imagine a future without her.

I even got a book so I could be ready to ask her to marry me and what to expect in the marriage.

I'm suffering too much emotionally, and I wish that I never stepped in that room the night we met. Most of the time, I have no one around me and I just wallow in my thought alone. She has her friends with her, making her smile. She probably thinks less about me.

Finding Hope, After She Broke My Heart

After reading a story by Matt from your page, I now believe that whatever the outcome I will heal someday, and this will all just be a memory.  Thank you for the hope you've shown my way. I pray that I heal quickly as it is the worst period of my life in many years.

From TheHopeLine

Mike, we are so glad that you found hope that things can and will get better. Keep clinging to that hope. Love can be hard to navigate and a broken heart can hurt desperately, but there is always HOPE. Millions of people have experienced heartache, just think of all the sad love songs. And while that doesn't make it easy to go through, it is good to know that most people are able to move on and so often find something even better. This is especially true if you are seeking God and asking him to guide you. God has great plans for you! Just keep following him. If you would like to have others pray for you, please post a request at TheHopeLine Prayer.

For more thoughts on how to get over a broken heart read - How to Heal and Get Over a Broken Heart - 6 Steps or download our free eBook Understanding a Broken Heart:

We live in a time of instant gratification. With communication being so fast and easy, we can end up feeling like our relationships and friendships are on auto-pilot.

But the great news is, I’ve found any friendship or relationship can grow when people are willing to make the effort. It all comes down to being more intentional when spending time with people we care about.

“Intentionality refers to acts being deliberate or purposeful. [Being intentional means] deliberately spending time together, purposefully placing the need of others above your own” (source: I’ll Push You).

I’ve found a few things help me practice intentionality in my close relationships.

Plan Quality Time

I often lose touch with people I care about because I assume we’ll talk or get together. And sure enough, life and its distractions get in the way.

Planning quality time and making sure to honor our engagements is a great way to practice intentionality. Whether it’s setting a reminder in your phone to call your parents or putting a lunch with a friend on the calendar, small steps like these make a big difference when it comes to building emotional intimacy over time.

If you’re looking to be more intentional in a dating relationship, scheduling a date night is a great way to do so. And you don’t have to break the bank to be there for your boyfriend or girlfriend. There are plenty of creative date ideas that will bring you together without overspending.

Focus

Greater focus is key to being more intentional. But focus doesn’t always come naturally, especially when life gets busy.
It is important that when you are spending time with your friends or significant other that you can really focus on them and what they are saying and not be distracted.

You can practice meditation or deep breathing to improve focus. Spending time in prayer each day is also helpful. Building your faith in God and asking for His help will no doubt help you find more meaning and joy in your friendships.

Ask Questions

It’s easy to take people we care about for granted. Once we get used to spending time together, we fall into an easy rhythm. That rhythm can be pleasant, but it can also keep us from getting closer to one another.

Asking questions is a great way to make a deliberate effort to connect with family and friends. See how life, work, and school are going. Ask about their latest interests or hobbies. Showing an interest is also showing you care.

Unplug

While technology can help us in our relationships, there’s no end to the distractions our phones and computers put in front of us every day. Unplugging from our devices (or at least putting them on silent) is a great way to be more present when we’re with people we care about. That way we never miss an important moment with those we love for something buzzing in our pocket.

Sometimes we need more ideas about how to build stronger friendships and relationships. TheHopeLine can help. Talk to a Hope Coach whenever you need guidance. We’re always here to listen, and we’ll do whatever we can to support you in your relationships.

Are you having trouble making and keeping friends? Check out my blog, How to Make Friends with these 4 steps. 

Grieving after loss can be so difficult and painful, especially after the death of someone we care about.

I’m sorry you’re going through a season of grief. I know that you’re feeling some strong emotions, and that many of them seem negative (sorrow, sadness, loneliness, fear, anger, etc.). But grieving is normal even when grief comes out of nowhere. Most of the time, you’re not “doing it wrong”.

Here are some healthy ways to experience and process grief that I hope will help you along the path to healing.

Feel Grief, Don’t Numb It

Feeling the range of emotions that come with grieving is healthy and normal. But be sure you don’t try to numb your feelings through unhealthy behaviors.

Excessive eating or drinking may make you feel good temporarily but numbing your grief doesn’t heal your wounds. It is easy to fall into patterns of addictive behavior if you’re looking for healing in behaviors that only offer a temporary fix, especially if those behaviors harm your body through drug use, alcohol abuse, or an unhealthy relationship with food.

Acknowledge Grief, Don’t Hide It

When you’re tempted to numb your grief, acknowledge it. Trying to hide it by pretending everything is OK ignores your pain and distances you from people who can otherwise support you. Refusing to talk about grief can become very isolating and can increase your feelings of abandonment.

You don’t have to shout your grief from the rooftops to experience healthy grief and you don’t have to share your feelings with anyone you’re not comfortable with. But simple acknowledgments go a long way:

• Being honest with yourself about grief helps you know what kind of support you need.
• Praying when you are grieving allows God’s peace and comfort to calm you on difficult days.
• Telling trusted friends and family allows them to be there for you to express their love for you and helps you avoid lapsing into unhealthy grief behaviors.

Another advantage of talking about your grief is realizing how many other people close to you have experienced loss. This will bring you closer together as you help one another heal.

Take Small Steps Toward Healing

After any loss (a death, losing a job, a breakup, etc.), grief takes time. And grief changes how you see the world and interact with others. It takes time to recover after loss and allowing yourself time and space to figure things out is crucial.

This might mean spending more time alone or in smaller groups, taking time to journal about your emotions, or scheduling an appointment with a counselor to talk things through. If you need support or help from a friend on a particularly tough day, don’t be ashamed to ask for that help. People who care about you want to be there for you.

I know grief can feel lonely, but you don’t have to go through it alone. TheHopeLine offers grief support mentoring and resources to help you along the way. Reach out to us anytime you need help healing during grief. We are always here to listen.

When life gets hard do you ever wonder why bad things happen? Find the answers to help you understand here. 

We also have a partner, GriefShare, who is a caring support group of people who will walk alongside you through one of life's most difficult experiences.

Here we sit at the start of another New Year. 365 blank days staring us in the face waiting to be written. What story will those 365 days tell at the end of this year?

That is kind of a daunting question to ask yourself. And yet most people do ask it.  It is why we make resolutions and set goals.  We desire the year before us to tell a GOOD story.

Finding Focus with One Word

I have written blogs on how to motivate yourself to keep your resolutions and tips for keeping your resolutions.  I believe there is real value in setting goals for the year.

But today I want to talk about a different idea to consider as you start a new year. I’ve heard it referred to as One Word for the New Year or One-Word Resolutions.  Essentially – you pick one word that encompasses how you want to approach the New Year.

For example, maybe your word for the year is Discipline. This is your focus for the year. You are saying that you want to approach your work, your relationships, your spiritual life, etc. with discipline.  You are committing to giving a full effort to areas of your life this year and not just giving a laid-back, half-effort to the important things in your life. You want to be disciplined and stay on task.

On the flip side, maybe your word for the year is Relax.  Perhaps you have had several stressful years in a row, and this is not the year for you to be disciplined, but a year for you to give yourself a break. Your focus is on finding balance and learning to relax.

Whatever your word – it is something personal that you select based on this point in your life. It gives you a focus on how you approach all aspects of your life for this one year. It helps you determine the kind of person you want to become. Rachel Olsen, co-author of “My One Word: Change Your Life with Just One Word” says,

"A word can’t be broken.  It serves as a reminder, a filter. It’s who you want to be instead of what you regret."

For me, I like the word, Grace. It is a good reminder on how to approach everyone in my life…from my family and co-workers to the teens and young adults that call my radio show to strangers that I meet. I want to show everyone grace. We all have “stuff” in our lives and the more grace I can extend each person letting them know that I understand life isn’t easy and I’ll love them anyway…the less uptight I will be from holding everyone to such a high standard and hopefully those around me will be blessed as well.

How Do You Go About Selecting Your Word for the Year?

Begin by taking some time to decide what kind of person you want to be. Then identify the characteristics of that person and write them down. You might have a lot of words on your list now. Now pick JUST ONE WORD. Resist the temptation to pick more than one. With just one word, you can view all situations that come up over the next year through your WORD.

Don’t pick your word quickly or randomly. Think it over for a while.  Pray about it and ask God to give you clear direction on your word for the year and then ask Him to help you stay focused.

To help inspire you here are some words to get you thinking:

Joy - Serve - Contentment - Connect - Detach - Purpose - Listen - Pray - Integrity - Still - Breath - Persevere - Advance - Care - Aware - Release - forgive - Dare - Bold - Focus - Gratitude - Forgiveness - Hope - Intentional - Authentic

I hope you will give this a try. It’s not necessarily easy to stay focused on your word for an entire year, but hopefully you will see small successes in becoming the person you want to be, and that God wants you to be.

Picking a word and doing something, no matter how small, is a step in the right direction and that one step could lead to the next step.

Don’t get discouraged if you lose focus from time to time. Any change you make with your One Word in mind is significant.
What do you think? Do you think picking a word for the year might help motivate you? Do you have a word that you want to strive for this year? Please share your thoughts in the comments below. Maybe you will inspire someone else.

Finding more meaning in your life is not only possible, but it can also be done in simple, inspiring ways. Click here to gain unexpected inspiration with 5 simple ways to find meaning in your life! 

I love January. It’s all about getting a fresh start. It’s also a great time to look at your life and decide what you’d like to change.  In other words, it’s a time for New Year’s Resolutions.

Why even bother to make New Year's Resolutions?

Have you ever made a New Year’s Resolution?  Lots of people do. However, I find that New Year’s Resolutions can get a bad rap because many people anticipate giving up on their goals before they even start. They quit making resolutions because they failed so often in the past. Are you one of them?  Do you feel like it is a pointless activity to set goals at the beginning of the year? Do you wonder why you should even bother?

My answer is this, because YOU are worth it.  People who have quit reflecting on their bad habits, mistakes and dreams have often given up the hope of bettering themselves or bettering the world around them.  I care for you too much to let you do that without at least having this conversation. It is possible for you to change a bad habit, learn not to make the same mistakes again or begin to accomplish a big dream. Sometimes we just need motivation and direction.

I hope this list of 10 tips for keeping your New Year's resolutions will help you as you attempt to remain committed to your New Year’s promises.

1. Don’t make too many resolutions. To begin with focus on just one or two goals for the year. It’s hard enough to follow through on one, why overwhelm yourself with four or five? Pick the one or two you feel are the most important and focus on that.
2. Don’t be discouraged if you aren’t perfect from the start.  When you say that you’re going to do something or change something, that you’ve either never had the habit of doing before (like exercising) OR have been in the habit of doing for a LONG time (like smoking) don’t expect perfection. Pat yourself on the back for each success, and if you feel like you have failed, forgive yourself, get back up and start again. You haven’t failed, unless you give up.
3. Take one bite at a time.  Do something small today, something small tomorrow, and the next day and the next and the next. It is amazing what you and I can do if we are persistent. The problem, habit or dream you are tackling may be big, but you can make it manageable by dealing with it one day at a time.
4. Decide ahead of time how you’re going to deal with the temptation. The temptation to give up is going to come up. Have a plan for dealing with this temptation. Maybe it’s calling a friend or some other planned activity to keep you on track. Also make a list of the benefits of sticking with your plan, and the disadvantages of giving up.
5. Out of sight; out of mind; out of gas.  Resolutions are no good if you don’t keep the idea in front of you.  Develop a way of keeping your goal in front of you every day.  Put it on your fridge, write it on your hand, send yourself a text whatever it takes.  The point is that if you don’t keep your resolution in front of you, the pursuit of it will never become a habit.  Without habits, dreams never become realities. So, find a way to remind yourself every day of where you have determined to go, but also the next step you have to take to get there.
6. Make it simple, clear and compelling.   Your Resolution may be small or big, easy or challenging.  Both are fine, but the important thing is to make it achievable. Make sure you set realistic and attainable goals. If you don’t, you’ll be easily discouraged when you discover you can’t achieve them. If you have a really big goal you’d like to achieve, break it up into smaller, more manageable mini goals. That way you can track your progress and more clearly see the results.
7. Write it Down. I suggest you write it down into one clear statement that fires you up and is easy to remember. When we write down our New Year’s resolutions it forces us to be more clear with what we’re hoping to accomplish. Be as specific as possible about what it’s going to take, as well as what the results will look like.
8. Track your progress and reward yourself.  Keep track of each small success you make along the way toward your larger goal. This will help keep you motivated. When you reach your goal, or accomplish something you set out to achieve, make sure you congratulate yourself in some special way. This promise of reward will help you to keep moving forward when things get difficult along the way.
9. Two are Better than One.  If you’re really serious about making (or breaking) a habit, or about achieving a special dream, you need to get someone to team up with you.  Someone who will help you stick with it, encourage you, challenge you, believe in you.  It can be a friend, a parent, a coach, a counselor, a pastor.  And more than one is even better.  The point is, people who are really serious about change, never go it alone. They find that key person or persons to help them.
10. Change Goes Inside Out. A guy named Stephen Covey once wrote a book about habits. The idea behind the book was that most successful people get what they want…not by luck, not by who they know, not by where or to whom they were born, and not by being in the right place at the right time. They do it by developing a few key habits, and those habits, if maintained, all but guarantee a high degree of success.

You won't accomplish your dreams or change the world overnight, but you can make some progress toward it every day. I'm proud of you! Stick with it!

Life can be difficult and uncertain, especially when faced with the prospect of change. Here are six steps to making any needed change in your life.