Fighting with a friend is one of the toughest things we can experience. I’ve had some arguments with close friends that have left me reeling. One of the most common feelings I experience after arguing or fighting with a friend is guilt.
If you’re feeling guilty about struggles in a friendship, you’re not alone. It is possible to get to the bottom of things and to free yourself from overwhelming guilt.
If you’re not sure where to start, I have some suggestions that I hope will help.
How to Handle Guilt from Fighting with a Friend
You care about your friend, and you want to do everything you can to help, but you also have a guilty conscience. I understand if your tendency is to shift the focus entirely to what you may have done wrong and what you could have done better.
But it’s good to remember that every friendship has two people in it. Don’t put everything on your shoulders. There may be something you can do to make things right, but your friend will need to take responsibility, too.
Be Clear and Realistic
It is easy for feelings to overwhelm me after an argument. But not all feelings are true, especially when it comes to feelings that are damaging to my self-worth. When thinking through an argument or fight with your friend, revisit things when you’ve had time to rest. When your mind feels clearer, acknowledge your words and actions.
Can you think of something specific you said, or did that hurt your friend? If so, is there something concrete you can do to set things, right?
This kind of self-examination really helps me sort through complex emotions and come up with practical ways to improve my friendships.
Love and Gratitude
Focusing on what I’m grateful for really helps me get through a tough time. Thinking about why I love my friends helps me work through disagreements. Remembering other meaningful relationships gives me perspective so I don’t despair. I hope it encourages you to remember that all your friendships and relationships are a gift from God, and that you are a gift from Him to all the people in your life.
Everyone makes mistakes in their friendships, and you may need to do some work to patch things over with your friend. But there is a lot you bring to relationships, too. Remembering this can help you regain perspective when sorting through feelings after arguing with a friend.
Never forget that God cares about you, your friend, and your relationship. Reaching out to him in prayer will help you find peace and clarity.
Making a Plan for Healing
Relationships can be tough. Friendships can feel strained and stretched, and we can say hurtful things to one another when we’re angry or stressed.
But a friendship can also strengthen and heal after arguments and disagreements. If you’re worried about talking with your friend, or still feeling intense guilt, our support is available to begin healing friendships. Talk with a HopeCoach at TheHopeLine if you need help now.
We’re here for you and praying for your friendship. You’re not alone, and things can get better.
Are you upset because you’ve been fighting with a close friend? Find out what to do and how to deal with relationship challenges here.
What to Know About Making Friends? The Effort is Well Worth the Reward!
Some people find making friends to be a very difficult task. It doesn't have to be, but it does require patience, love, and commitment.
I often say on my radio show, Dawson McAllister Live, that it is incredibly valuable to have good friends. Friends will enrich your life and be the anchors that keep you grounded when everything else around you seems to be out of control.
Friendships are so important! You need friends and healthy friendships to feel good about yourself. You need people who get you, who you can laugh with, do stuff with, and just hang with, but also get support from during difficult times. A friend is someone who you love, honor, and trust and they feel the same towards you. The Urban Dictionary defines a friend as: " A friend is someone who is happy to spend time with you doing absolutely nothing at all; someone who doesn't mind driving you on stupid errands, who doesn’t have to talk to communicate with you. A friend is someone who not only doesn't care if you're ugly or boring but doesn't even think about it; someone who forgives you no matter what you do, and someone who tries to help you even when they don't know how."
But what if you're at a new school, or maybe starting a new job and you don't know anyone. The sooner you learn how to make friends, the more fulfilling your life will be. So, how do you make new friends?
4 Steps to Making Friends
1. Spend more time around people with similar interests. You can't make friends sitting at home watching TV. Sooner or later, you have to move out into unchartered waters...the real world where things can sometimes be unpredictable and uncomfortable. The best way to work through this is to stare down your fears and take the plunge. It may not be a great experience the first time, but if you keep at it, you will attract people to yourself.
The easiest way to make friends is to get involved in activities that you are comfortable with. You will find people with similar interests, and the relationships will develop naturally.
Volunteer somewhere - when you work together with other people on a common goal, you will develop friendships more rapidly.
Join a club - here's where to find a group of people with similar interests and interact with them while you do what you love.
Join a sports team - this is a great way to make friends as you compete against an opponent.
Shana said, "Having a goal you share with other people, even strangers, will draw you together. I went on a mission's trip with people from my church and we all became really great friends." Shana is right. She took her eyes off herself and her own fears and found new friends who all had a common goal.
2. Reach out to people - you can join all the clubs or teams in the world, and you'll never make friends with anyone if you don't reach out to others. Remember, everybody needs encouragement and attention, even small words of kindness will make a difference. You can talk to people anywhere...at church, in class, at the gym, at your job or just about any place. Ask people questions about themselves and take an honest interest in them. People are most concerned about themselves, therefore, reaching into their world with genuine interest will bring you friends.
Jessie said, "People sometimes think you're crazy for talking to strangers. But being nice to other people is a great way to live. And it's a great way to make new friends."
3. Make efforts to get together - When you meet someone you find interesting, be courageous enough to ask him or her to meet with you at another time. Make a future plan. It's easy enough to say, "We should do this again sometime." But make sure to follow it up with an actual planned date and time. It's a great way to find out if the other person is open to having your friendship. Don't ever try to pressure anyone into getting together with you. But be honest and sincere about your desire to get to know them.
4. Be a good friend - Some people have a lot of acquaintances, but very few friends. What is the difference between friends and acquaintances? An acquaintance is someone you might see every day, and you might even have conversations with her or him, but it usually doesn't go beyond friendly, superficial talk. If you're looking for a good friend, you will have to work harder and go deeper than just saying hi to everybody. A good friend is available, reliable, and trustworthy, and also a great listener.
Wade said, "I don't want any friends who don't care what goes on with me. If someone wants to show me, they're a good friend they will ask me about what I'm thinking and feeling."
Just remember, there are many people all around you who are waiting to make new friends as well. Make it your goal to find them. It takes a while to develop friends, so be patient, it will work out.
The college years are certainly a time in your life to look forward to...the freedom, dorm life, expanding your mind, constant contact with friends, social activities, studying what interests you most, etc. But let’s be honest, college is stressful. To have successful college years, it is important to learn ways to manage college stress.
Believe me, I get how hard it is. I get many calls from college students on my radio show about how “stressed-out” they are. College requires a lot of changes that affect many areas of our lives. Alyse called concerned about her relationship with her boyfriend which seemed to be changing with the mounting pressure of school:
The American College Health Association found in a 2015 study that more than 85 percent of college students said they “felt overwhelmed” by the demands of college. And a third of all students said stress had a negative effect on their overall academic performance. With 85% of students feeling overwhelmed, you can almost count on stress being part of any college experience.
What to Know About Managing College Stress
Are you overwhelmed with classes, a job, and a social life?
But why is it so stressful?
Top College Stressors
Away from home for the first time.
Need to make decisions on your own.
Time management is hard with a flexible but full schedule.
Choosing a major and deciding what you want to do with the rest of your life
The pressure to achieve good grades.
Financial stress. College is expensive and debt is mounting.
Balancing studying, class time, studying, relationships, studying, extra-curricular, studying, social life, etc.
Easier access to alcohol and drugs
Being frustrated and wanting instant gratification when it’s not available.
These stressors can weigh heavy on anyone, but sometimes students are more than just “stressed-out”.
This is important…
Recognizing whether your feelings are based on adjusting to life away from home or if you are experiencing an early sign of a mental health condition is crucial.
Mental Health Concerns in College
75% of all mental health conditions begin by age 24. So, it is critical that college students are aware of common warning signs of a mental health condition that could suggest that perhaps you are more than just “stressed out”. These years are critical for understanding and talking about mental health. And it is nothing to be ashamed of.
1 in 5 youth and young adults experiences a mental health condition and 30% of college students reported feeling so down at some point during the previous year that they found it difficult to function.
Heather called my show because she overloaded her first year, fell into depression, and gave up on classes. Now she is doing better but scared to go back to school.
So, when is it time to go talk to your school counselor or confide in a parent or trusted friend?
10 Common Warning Signs of Mental Health Condition:
Feeling very sad or withdrawn for more than two weeks
Severe, out-of-control risk-taking behaviors
Sudden overwhelming fear for no reason
Not eating, throwing up or using laxatives to lose weight
Seeing, hearing or believing things that are not real
Repeatedly and excessively using drugs or alcohol
Drastic changes in mood, behavior, personality or sleeping habits
Extreme difficulty in concentrating or staying still
Intense worries or fears that get in the way of daily activities
Trying to harm oneself or planning to do so
It can be difficult to know whether what you are experiencing is an early sign of an emerging mental health condition or part of adjusting to college. Listen to your mind and body. If you are not feeling right and are having trouble shaking that feeling, then talk with someone who can help you sort things out. You might find it is common stress and you might discover it’s more. You don’t have to know the answer to this question before talking to someone.
I can’t emphasize this enough…
Mental health conditions are common among college students so don’t hesitate to let your parents know what you are feeling. They want to know. Don’t try to protect them or keep them from worrying. Communicating with them can help you get the help you need. And seek out your campus counselor. That is what they are there for.
So now for those stress-reducing tips…
10 Tools to Manage College Stress
1. Make a "To Do" List and cross things off – this will keep you organized and keep you from forgetting to do something as well as give you a feeling of accomplishment every time you cross something off.
2. Make time to exercise – walk, run, bike, lift weights…whatever you like. Your years in college you essentially have a free fitness membership. Take advantage of it. Physical activity helps burn off stress.
3. Get enough sleep – Sleep and college may sound counter-intuitive, but it’s crucial that your body rest. Without proper rest you won’t be able to focus as well, you will nod to sleep in class and might very well get run down and sick. All things that will add to your stress.
4. Participate in college activities – Make sure you make time for fun and to connect with other people. Join a club, play intramural sports, volunteer, attend a college event such as a concert, play or game. You can find all that your college has to offer on their website or attend an activity. A balanced schedule includes things that allow you to take a break from studying, meet new people and have fun.
5. Quiet time with relaxing music – Sometimes it’s important to just breath and relax and music often helps.
6. Talk to others about what you are feeling – Sometimes it just feels good to vent to share your burden with someone you trust. You can also learn a lot from people who are experiencing the same things as you. How do they manage their stress? Are they also feeling overwhelmed? You will fast learn you are not necessarily alone.
7. Eat healthy – Good nutrition also helps keep your mind sharp and focused. Pay attention to what you are putting in your body.
8. Avoid alcohol and drugs – Substance abuse certainly does not help you stay strong and focused and can quickly lead down a destructive path.
9. Self-Care – Make sure to treat yourself as kindly as you treat others. Self-care is provided by you to Identify your own needs and meet them. This includes being aware of your mental health needs and recognizing if it is time to seek help.
10. Pray – Spend time in prayer with God…you can pray at all times. As you walk to class, as you sit in the library, as you work out, during your quiet time, etc. Share with God all that you are feeling, pray about the concerns you have and what is causing you to worry. Ask Him for the focus you need or the strength to go on. Nothing is too big or small to ask of God. Then as you pray trust that God will see you through and release your anxieties to Him. He loves you and he will help you. It says in the Bible“Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.”
College is an exciting time in life and an important time to maintain self-care and find ways to manage stress. You can do this; however, you don’t have to do it alone. My HopeCoaches are here to listen and help you through this!
I’ve noticed something when it comes to bipolar disorder and other mental health diagnoses: there’s a lot of misinformation out there.
Whether you have a loved one with bipolar, or you have a recent bipolar diagnosis, knowing the facts can help you find healthy ways to cope and avoid harmful thoughts and behaviors.
Here are some things I’ve learned about bipolar disorder that I hope will encourage you and give you more confidence as you build your support system.
It’s Not Just Being Moody
It can be very discouraging when people are dismissive of your struggles with mental health. Bipolar disorder is not just “being moody” or experiencing mood swings during a stressful day. It’s far more intense than typical ups and downs, and it’s not something you get over after a day or two.
The changes in mood, sleep patterns, or behavior experienced by someone with bipolar are much more extreme and seem out of character for them. There are also multiple types of bipolar, and everyone experiences their symptoms in a unique way.
If you aren’t sure about your symptoms, talk to your doctor. They will help you find the right diagnosis, which is key to planning the right treatment.
The Tough Times Will Subside
The symptoms of bipolar can be intense and difficult and can seem to come out of nowhere. But it’s important to remember that people with bipolar are not always depressed, and periods of mania won’t last forever. Continuing to seek treatment and taking any medications as prescribed will help to relieve and manage symptoms.
Beware of “Cures” for Bipolar
Some of the most dangerous myths about bipolar involve “curing” symptoms without medication or other treatment that doctors recommend. It’s great to stay active and eat healthy, but that’s not sufficient for the severe symptoms that come with bipolar disorder.
People may also suggest prayer as a cure. Focusing on your faith is certainly not harmful, but our faith and actions should work together to help us get better. No matter what well-meaning people suggest, follow the treatment plan recommended by your doctor and mental health professional.
You Don’t Need Bipolar to Create
While many artists and creative people have bipolar disorder, don’t mistake the symptoms of bipolar for creativity. You don’t need to be struggling and suffering through out-of-control symptoms. You can care for yourself and nurture your creative spirit at the same time.
You Are Not the Only One
Because of the ups and downs of mania and depression, I understand why you’d feel all alone if you’ve been diagnosed with bipolar. But there are millions of people who know how you’re feeling. In the US alone, at least 2 million people have been diagnosed with some form of bipolar disorder. It is possible to have a sense of community and to live a happy life with bipolar disorder. You just need the right support.
When bipolar gets tough, TheHopeLine is here to help. Reach out to a HopeCoach anytime by chat or email to start the conversation. We’re here for you, and you’re not alone!
If you or someone you love may be dealing with mental health issues, you may find something in our resource library to help. Search our podcasts, blogs and e-books with your questions about mental illness.
Divorce is one of the most painful things a family can go through. It breaks my heart whenever I hear that friends or family I care about are ending their marriage.
If you love someone who is going through a divorce, it’s natural to want to help. But you may feel powerless to know what to do. If you know both people well, it can be especially hard to know how to be there for people who are at odds with one another.
I know how you’re feeling, and I want to support you so that you can support people you care about. Here are some things I’ve learned over the years about how to be there for people who are going through marital problems.
Listen First
When someone is going through a hard time, it is so hard not to jump in right away with a solution or an idea to help. But when someone is going through a divorce, it can be disheartening to hear how they might be able to make things work, or what they should do to feel better.
I’ve made the mistake of speaking too soon, but I notice how much more supported my friends feel when I simply listen. Often, the longer I listen, the more my friends are able to be clear about how I can help and support them.
Listening also gives me the chance to know exactly how they’re feeling, and where their spirits are hurting (as one of my friends once put it). Knowing this allows me to lay those needs before God in prayer. God can heal them in ways that I can’t. His love and strength are always within reach.
Self-Care is Key
When someone is going through a divorce, the overwhelm can cause them to forget or neglect their self-care. Offering to help with grocery runs, errands, or cooking meals are great ways to ease their stress without feeling like you’re intruding.
Avoid Taking Sides
If you know both people going through the divorce, and if you’re close enough to both partners to be a listening ear, you may find yourself feeling drained more quickly.
It’s important to remember that both friends are going to be in a lot of pain and perhaps even anger. Do whatever you can not to take sides. Remember that your relationships with your friends are important, too. You can set boundaries to protect those relationships.
Still Need Help?
Sometimes, no matter what we do, our friends are going to be overwhelmed. That can be scary, but don’t despair.
If you’re concerned about your friend’s well-being after doing what you can to support them, reach out for help. If you need someone to talk to, we can offer online chat with a HopeCoach and guidance for relationship healing through email mentors. And if your friends are open to help, we offer divorce support resources, too. You or your friend can reach out to a HopeCoach for confidential help whenever you need it.
No matter what, know that you are loved by your friend. Your support is appreciated. And when you’re not sure where to turn, we’re here to support you.
Are you dealing with your parents' divorce or your own divorce? Read my blog on 4 steps to healthy healing.
A guide to help you with the steps to consider when thinking about divorce along with recovery and forgiveness.
Watching a friend go through a breakup can be tough. It’s hard to know how to help or how much you can do, especially when their breakup is very messy, painful, or unexpected.
Helping a friend after a breakup often comes down to doing simple things to show your friend that you care. Here are a few things I try to remember when a friend comes to me for relationship help.
I Can’t Fix It - And That’s Okay
When you want to help a friend, you may feel like you want to fix it. But the truth is, you can’t, and your friend is probably not expecting you to do so.
It was your friend’s relationship, and it’s your friend’s breakup. Your friend has to go through their own growth and make their own decisions during this process of pain, grief, and healing.
One key to having a strong friendship in the midst of a difficult situation like a breakup is having healthy boundaries.
Writer Rachel Krantz puts it this way: “Do your best to remind yourself that it is not on you to fix their pain or situation, and that the best thing you can do is to give what support you can genuinely offer without resentment, exhaustion, or desire for payback.” Be honest with yourself about what you can do and what you can’t do and remember that your friend loves and appreciates you no matter what.
Listening is Key
Listening is one of the most helpful things you can do for your friend as they cope with their breakup. It gives them an outlet and helps them feel less isolated. You don’t have to jump in with a solution. Just be present and let them know you’re sorry they’re hurting.
If they’re not ready to talk yet, spending time with your friend can be a big help as they get ready to open up. Take them to calm, safe environments. Eat nourishing food with them and be sure they stay hydrated.
If your friend is a person of faith, it can encourage them to know you’re praying for them, and that God cares about them and what they’re feeling.
Don’t Victimize or Villainize
When my friend has gone through a breakup, it can be so tempting to agree with them completely that they’ve been hurt and that their ex should pay. And while there may be some truth to that, over-focusing on how much they’ve been hurt or how harmful their ex’s actions are is likely to make their healing more difficult.
Your friend is wrestling with the end of a relationship with someone they loved. They’re going to have a lot of complicated feelings. Doing your best to reframe those feelings in a positive light helps a lot.
Instead of “Wow, she’s the worst!”, try “I’m really glad to see you standing up for yourself”. Instead of, “He’s done so much to hurt you!”, try, “I believe in you. I’m here for you, and I know you can heal from this.”
Help Them Get Help
There will be things about your friend’s breakup that are more than you can handle. They may need an expert (someone trained in relationship support) to get them back on their feet. If it’s clear they’re overwhelmed, you can help them find more support.
TheHopeLine offers confidential, judgment-free mentoring and relationship help. You or your friend can chat online with a HopeCoach or sign up for an email mentor whenever either of you needs help sorting through relationships. I have no doubt your friendship will get stronger, and that your friend will find healing after their breakup. We are always here for you!
Want to help your friend avoid a broken heart? Read and share my blog on how you can keep your heart from breaking.
Building stronger relationships is all about setting healthy boundaries. But that can be hard when I feel a close bond and want to spend time with someone.
When a friendship is new, it’s exciting to see how much we have in common. We want to spend a lot of time with one another to deepen our sense of connection and share new experiences.
But over time, things can feel a little strained, if you get to a point in your friendship or relationship where you feel drained after spending time with someone, or you find yourself avoiding them, it may be time to do a little boundary work.
How to Set Healthy Boundaries
A boundary is not meant to be unkind or restrictive. It’s simply a way to set limits so you don’t spread yourself too thin. Think about when you get tired or drained after being with people. Is it after socializing for many days in a row? Or maybe it’s because you ended up texting all day when you thought it was going to be a much shorter conversation. Thinking through what makes you feel tired is a good first step to make sure your boundaries are rooted in healthy self-care.
Start Small
Once you know what’s missing, take simple steps to make time for recharging after being with people you love. There are lots of little boundaries that can make a big impact on your energy and well-being:
Scheduling alone time every week
Canceling plans if you feel ill or tired
Not taking calls or answering texts after a certain time
Unplugging from devices and social media at least an hour before you plan to go to sleep
Checking in with yourself each morning before you are around others, and each evening when you get home
Next time you feel a little stretched by your relationships, try one or two of those steps.
Communicate
I’ve noticed how much better I feel when I get the rest I need. After all, I can’t be there for people when I’m exhausted. But sometimes my friends and loved ones may not know I’m tired. It’s important to share your boundaries with people close to you so they can support your efforts to take care of yourself. It can be something as simple as saying something like this: “I’ve noticed I’m overdoing it. I need time to unwind at the end of day. If you need to talk, text me before 9:00.”
Ask for Help
Sometimes setting boundaries is difficult. Our friends may push back a little when we ask for alone time. It often gets harder to remember our limits when someone we love is going through a tough time and needs extra support.
Leaning on faith can be a good way to keep our boundaries in mind. After all, we're only human, and turning to God often brings peace and clarity when relationships get tricky.
If you’ve tried everything and still feel stress and strain from relationships, talking to someone with experience setting healthy boundaries is a big help. Reach out to a HopeCoach at TheHopeLine today for a safe, judgment-free place to work through your boundaries. We are here for you, and you always have our support.
Are you upset because you've been fighting with a close friend? Find out what to do and how to deal with relationship challenges here.
There’s nothing scarier than the prospect of having a mental illness. If you suspect that you may be suffering from a mental disorder, I bet you have thousands of questions and even more concerns.
Coping with a mental illness can be terrifying, but you don’t have to do it alone. With God leading the way, and an army of support and love behind you, you can overcome anything.
Do I Really Have a Mental Illness?
Mental illnesses don’t just suddenly appear. Rather, they creep slowly and have several warning signs. Paying attention to these signs can help you detect an issue early enough before it becomes a serious problem.
Changes in your overall mood, appetite, or sleep patterns can be signs of mental illness. Another cause for concern would be a decrease in your performance ability in work or school, as well as decreased ability to focus or think clearly. Also, if you’re noticing feelings of withdrawal and exclusion you could be experiencing the early stages of a mental health disorder.
Don’t get too ahead of yourself, though. Even if several of these signs apply to you, this does not necessarily mean you have a mental illness. Do not diagnose yourself. Instead, meet with your doctor (or other professionals) to discuss the symptoms you are experiencing.
What Do I Do if I Have a Mental Illness?
Getting tested for a mental illness is the most important action you can take. It’s better to deal with facts than speculations. I understand that the anxiety can be unbearable, but if you know God, then you know that He has promised to be with us through anything.
In order to confirm or deny your personal diagnosis your doctor may give you a physical exam to be sure there are no other underlying causes of your symptoms. He or she will then run a few lab tests and screenings to ensure you aren’t under the influence of drugs or alcohol. If none of those tests explain your symptoms, your doctor may order a psychiatric evaluation.
A psych evaluation may consist of a questionnaire that you’ll be asked to fill out. You may also meet with a psychiatrist who will ask you various questions to determine your overall mental health.
Diagnosis
Being told definitively that you do indeed have a mental illness may seem like the end of the world. But believe me: with the right amount of support and love, this can be manageable. God has blessed us all with strength and endurance, and He will strengthen you to use what He has given you. Now is the time to tap into those resources with His help and the help of those around you.
Most often, those diagnosed with a mental illness are prescribed various medications. If you have been, be sure to remain responsible. Refrain from missing a dosage and take them only as prescribed. Praying and conversing with God will also go a long way in coping with a mental illness and provide you with the strength you need. Also, never forget to lean on your friends and family. Dealing with any kind of disorder or illness alone and coming out on top is very difficult. So, gather your support team, learn about your illness, and let them help you remain positive.
Live Your Life
It is very important for you to continue living your life. You are the same person you have always been. A mental illness diagnosis doesn’t have to change that. Let God’s light brighten your future as you battle with your way through this.
Remember to keep your eyes open for future options. As technology advances and we learn more about medicine and the brain, new treatment options may become available. Stay prayerful and know that God has a plan for you.
Joining a community is also a good way to pursue happiness in the future. Finding those with similar circumstances or people who can relate to your struggle can be an uplifting experience. You can become a member of TheHopeLine family and through the love of God and spiritual wellness, we can all help each other thrive. If you find yourself dealing with mental illness, reach out. We’re here for you.
Are you just having a bad week, or is something more going on? Find out what shifts your mental state from “feeling blue” to a depression diagnosis.
If you or a friend need support right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, for free confidential, 24/7 help. Head here for a list of crisis centers around the world. For additional help, please visit the suicide prevention resource page.
Have you ever thought about how shame and anxiety can be intertwined? When I am struggling with shame, I often feel anxious and worried about whether I’ll find relief. Other times, I can feel shame around how often my anxiety seems to derail me.
But I’ve learned some things about shame and anxiety along the way that I hope will help you begin to work through your difficult feelings and find healing.
Untangling Feelings
If I’m feeling overwhelmed by my emotions, chances are I haven’t spent the time needed to “untangle” them. It helps me to think through things and gain a better understanding of what I’m feeling.
How has my anxiety shown up in my mind and body in the past?
How are these feelings different from one another?
I might write about these feelings in a journal, or spend time meditating to clear my mind. It often helps to “unplug” from devices and social media so I can be alone with my thoughts and more attentive to my feelings.
Sometimes I need a change of scenery to help me “reset” emotionally. I enjoy going for walks, visiting local parks and museums, or reading my favorite books.
When I’m really lacking clarity, it helps to remember that God cares about my feelings, and I can pray about those feelings, no matter what they are.
Remembering Facts
When I’m feeling bogged down by shame, and starting to worry, it helps me to remember what’s true. When I’m embarrassed or ashamed of how much anxiety seems to affect me, I remember the facts. I’ve overcome anxiety before, and learned a lot in the process. I’ve been reminded over and over again that, though I make mistakes, I still have value and importance.
Your feelings may be strong, and that’s normal. But remember the truth, you are worthy of love and acceptance from others, and from yourself. People care about you. You are not the first person to experience these tough feelings. Many others have been down this path, and there are plenty of people who can help you get to the other side of shame and anxiety.
Sharing Feelings
One of the most effective ways to manage feelings of anxiety and shame is to mention them. Connecting with others helps us feel less alone in our feelings, and less overwhelmed by them. When you know other people feel the same way you do, it’s encouraging to know you’re not the only one. When you talk with someone about how they’ve worked through difficult emotions in the past, it gives you ideas for the present and future.
If you’re not sure who to talk to, you can start right here. TheHopeLine offers confidential live chat with a HopeCoach to help you heal from shame and anxiety. We are here to listen and support you without judgment, and we look forward to hearing your story. If you need someone to pray for your feelings of shame and anxiety to lift, find a prayer partner now. You’re not alone, and we care about your healing.
Are you feeling worn out and down about life, please read this blog with 31 tips to boost your mental health.
