Are You Single? It's Really OK.

It seems that everywhere you look, from television and movies to advertising, the message is constantly being sent that you need a boyfriend or girlfriend to be complete. This message is a lie. Just ten minutes listening to popular music and it's obvious we are a society obsessed with romantic relationships.

The I've got to be in love syndrome is the most popular topic people call my radio show about. Very few calls or comments I receive from teenagers and young adults ever speak to the benefits of not dating. I often have to tell people, "Don't worry, if you don't have a bf/gf right now, you won't die." While there are definitely some benefits of being in a relationship, there are certainly just as many to not dating.

Delaney commented to me about being happy without a guy in her life: I have great friends that are always there for me and always know how to make me happy, and I have a wonderful family that loves and cares for me as I do for them. Life isn't always about having a boyfriend or a girlfriend. I think life is about living your life to the fullest without having a guy or girl.

When I tried dating, it brought a whole lot of drama in my life that I have never experienced, and it made my life a lot harder than I think it needed to be. It seems to me like having a guy in your life makes everything else harder to accomplish. As of right now, I'm loving the single life and hanging with friends and not worrying about boys and drama!
I have been thinking a lot lately about the benefits of not dating. Here are just a few of the many benefits a person can enjoy while being single.

4 Benefits to Being Single

A dating relationship is extremely time-consuming. Right?

While this may sound well and good, it does take away from the time you may need to really get to know yourself, God and those around you.

Get To Know Yourself

What do you like? What makes you happy? What makes you sad? What do you enjoy spending your time doing when no one is around? Being single gives you time to develop yourself. It will increase your confidence, which is considerably more attractive than always needing to have a bf/gf at your side. I think if more people would spend their time developing into the right person, instead of always looking to find the right person, they'd be much happier.

Riah commented to me just this week how she doesn't need to have somebody say "I love you" for her to be happy: If you are happy with yourself then you will be content if you don't have somebody, and you will still hold your head up and walk with confidence. Some advantages are that you have a calm, peaceful life. It's a lot less worry-some, and you will probably have a lot more time on your hands to do something that can benefit you and your life.

Do Things that Make you Happy

She's right. When you are not dating, you have much more time on your hands to do the things you really want to do. If you want to do nothing, or read a book or watch a movie, or hang out with friends, you can do it. Take advantage of your singleness to get to know a lot of different kinds of people. Find ways to be the best friend you can to those you care about the most.

Have a lot of different kinds of experiences. This will help you in the long run know better what to look for in a career, or even a mate.

Avoid the Drama of Bad Relationships

Many people get into relationships just to be in a relationship. When you are in a relationship for the wrong reasons, a lot of unnecessary drama and heartache occurs. Bad relationships are time-consuming, emotionally draining and just plain too much work.

With all this being said, if you are currently in a bad relationship...one where you don't feel free or fulfilled, get out. The sky will not fall. The sun will still rise in the morning. Relationships aren't supposed to feel like you're in prison.

Get To Know God

The most important relationship you will ever have in your life is a relationship with God.  When you're single, you have more time to explore who God is and how much He loves you. Use this time to figure out what you believe and grow in your faith.

God has a great plan for your life, including who you may date in the future if you follow him.  "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Use the extra time you have to develop a meaningful relationship with your creator and the lover of your soul. You can spend time reading the Bible, praying and even finding a church.

Enjoy this Season

Being single is something to cherish, not to be afraid of. Being in a relationship is something to value, as well. But don't feel like you have to be in a relationship in order to be happy. Get to know yourself and God, and you can be happy, whether in a relationship with a bf/gf or not.

Fighting with your boyfriend, girlfriend, best friend, or family member can be devastating. The wrong words said, or actions taken in anger can often make you feel as though a relationship is damaged beyond repair. If you have been through other trauma before fighting with your loved one, you may wonder if your relationship is abusive or could be heading in that direction.

Examining the similarities and differences between anger and abuse often gives people clarity and helps them feel more confident when making decisions in their challenging relationships.

Comparing Anger and Abuse

Anger and abuse seem similar or identical to many of us because an abuser is often angry (whereas an angry person isn’t always abusive). Many of the emotions that arise when someone is angry may be harsh and the pain it causes is what leaves many wondering if they have been or will be abused.

But there are some key differences...

Anger can be motivated by a number of factors. Maybe you’re fighting with your girlfriend because she feels mistreated or like she hasn’t been heard. Maybe you forgot an important day, or broke a promise, and now your family member or friend is upset.

Whatever their reasoning, if the person who is angry doesn’t show a pattern of cruelty, it’s unlikely the relationship will become abusive.

Abuse, on the other hand, is built on controlling and manipulating behaviors. It is unjust, unfair, unkind, and cruel, and it causes you serious physical, emotional, or psychological pain. In an abusive or toxic relationship, the person raging doesn’t take responsibility for any relationship problems. Instead, they blame and punish you with their words or actions. If being around your family member, girlfriend, or boyfriend scares you or damages your self-worth, you are in a toxic relationship that may become abusive.

If you’re not sure, talk to a therapist or mentor about your loved one’s anger issues. Having a sounding board you trust can help you get to the root of the problem so you know what to do next.

Seeking spiritual encouragement while dealing with toxic relationships is also helpful. People in your faith community can remind you of God’s love in the face of any relationship challenge.

Protect Yourself from Toxic Anger

If you are confident that your boyfriend, girlfriend, family member, or friend doesn’t want to hurt you or control you, it is likely they just need to work on their communication skills and anger management. Let them know you still love them, do your best to forgive them, and hold them accountable for making positive changes so they can manage their anger in a healthier way.

If you’re in a close or intimate relationship with the person you’re fighting with, consider going to a counseling session with them to show your support as they make a plan to understand what triggers their anger. With time, someone committed to healthy anger management will be able to express it more constructively.

If you feel unsafe or fearful of the person you’re fighting with, reach out right away. We are here to listen, pray with you, and offer guidance for finding emotional peace and healing after abuse.

Send us an email or chat as soon as possible, and we will help you break free from your toxic relationship without judgment.

Want to examine your relationship more? Read my blog, 8 Signs Your Dating Relationship is Unhealthy.

A Marriage in Tatters

Jeffery’s wife cheated on him right around the time they were going to be celebrating 5 years together. She confessed to Jeffrey, said she was upset and saddened by her actions, so they decided to try to work out their relationship. Then 6 months later, she had another affair with a guy 15 years older than her. She moved in with the guy, got pregnant by him, and had an abortion.

Just recently, she has decided she wants to come home to be with Jeffery. Jeffery feels conflicted. He knows she has nowhere else to go. Is that why she wants to move back in with him just because she has nowhere else to go? And Jeffery feels emotionally conflicted over the abortion she had. He would have taken care of the baby, even though it wasn’t his. Now, his wife said she is leaving the other guy to move back home with Jeffery, but then she went back to the other guy for another week. Should Jeffery take her back?

Peer to Peer: A Rock-Solid Message of Advice for Jeffery

Joanna called in with rock-solid, life-changing advice for Jeffery. She had great insight!

Share Your Story About Your Cheating Wife

Joanna apologized on behalf of women and said, “It’s terrible what you are going through, and I feel very heartbroken for you.” Joanna suggested to first pay attention to what’s best for Jeffery’s children and said serving the Lord should come before any romantic relationship. Joanna points out that Jeffery’s wife betrayed him twice and she’s still living with the other guy even though she’s said she wants to come home. Joanna said, if she really wanted to be with Jeffrey she wouldn’t be staying with the other guy and continuing a sexual relationship with him. She would have found somewhere else to stay like a friend’s house or her parents.

Joanna said Jeffrey’s wife seems like she’s into survival sex, where a woman pairs up with a man to get a roof over her head and get other things she wants. Then when she gets bored or someone else who looks better comes along, they’ll jump to that guy.

Joanna recommends to Jeffery, if his wife really wants to make their relationship work, she should live with her family or a female friend and she should not have any sexual activity for one year. Then after one year, if it still seems like the right thing to do, they can have a vowel renewal and she can move back in with Jeffery.

His Wife’s Actions and Words Don’t Add Up

Jeffery’s wife needs God’s help. No one really turns to God unless they see themselves and their situation the way God does. All of us would like to believe we aren’t so bad, and we don’t mess up as much as others. But the Bible says this in Isaiah 64:6, “We are all infected and impure with sin. When we display our righteous deeds, they are nothing but filthy rags. Like autumn leaves, we wither and fall, and our sins sweep us away like the wind.”

Joanna lovingly spoke the truth about Jeffery’s wife, she chose to betray him twice. Her actions don’t add up to what she’s saying.

She’s saying she wants to move back home but she’s still staying with the other guy. Jeffery’s wife went against her vows of marriage and what God had ordained for marriage. If she was repentant she wouldn’t be living in sin anymore.

Joanna talked about how she thought Jeffery’s wife was into survival sex is when women pair up with men to put food on the table and a roof over their head. Then use that man until someone better comes along and they jump.

Jeffery’s wife needs a complete turnaround. I like what Joanna suggested for Jeffery’s wife. She needs to spend a year with family or a female friend and not be in any relationship and refrain from sex. She does need to honor Jeffery and the children and show them she wants to be committed to them.

What advice would you give Jeffery?

What would you do if you were in Jeffery’s situation? Would you take her back? Would you make her wait a year to move back home? If you have any advice or words of encouragement for Jeffery, please share in the comments!

Did Today’s Episode Get You Thinking?

Being cheated on is a complete violation of trust. Jeffrey was willing to work on his marriage after the first time his wife cheated but now it’s happened again. It’s no wonder, he’s wondering if she really wants to come home to be with him. He must wonder if he lets her come back home, will she cheat on him again?

If you’ve been cheated on, whether it’s once, twice or multiple times, you need some time to heal. It’s important not to jump right back into the same relationship or into a new one. There needs to be time for healing and a time for self-care. If you are wanting to get back together, there needs to be time to make sure both of you want to recommit to each other. There’s no point in getting back together in a relationship if both parties aren’t fully committed to repairing the relationship, rebuilding trust, and giving everything to make it work.

Resources for Cheating:

• Take a look at my eBook: Understanding Cheating in Relationships.
• Check out my blogs:
  • 15 Signs Your BF-GF May Be Cheating On You
  • Your BF/GF is Cheating on You…Now What?
  • 5 Life-Changing Steps for the Cheater
  • Why Did Your Guy Cheat on You?
  • Moving On From A Cheating Boyfriend – 6 Things NOT To Do
• Need to talk to someone about how you are feeling, then: Chat with a HopeCoach at TheHopeLine.

One last thing,
My podcast, our website, everything we do is entirely listener supported. If you’d like to help us to continue our work, please make a gift right now at our Give Now page.

Remember, whatever you do, Never Lose Hope!

Living with a parent who is addicted to drugs, alcohol, or other harmful substances and behaviors is hard – and it doesn’t get easier as we get older. If you’re one of the estimated 17 million people who has grown up with an addicted parent, you’re probably angry about their addiction and the ways it has impacted your life. Feelings of anger and frustration are normal if your parent has ever:

• Made you feel responsible for their addiction
• Blamed your other parent for the circumstances leading to their substance abuse
• Physically, verbally, or emotionally abused you or someone else in your family while high or intoxicated
• Used drugs or alcohol instead of meeting your physical or emotional needs
• Withheld love or affection from you
• Tried to manipulate you to help them engage in their substance abuse
• Made you feel guilty for saying no or standing up for yourself after their hurtful behavior

These behaviors will have a profound and prolonged negative impact on you. You may find yourself acting out at school or at home, even though you know it’s wrong or inappropriate. You may be afraid of other adults or have trouble opening up about your emotions to others who are close to you. This is likely to cause trust issues when dating or pursuing new relationships.

These negative effects will be compounded if your parent doesn’t see their addiction as a problem, is not interested in getting help, has legal trouble because of their addiction, or gets your other parent (or someone else living with you) involved with drugs, alcohol, or addictive behavior as a way to ensure they can keep using.

Anger About Addiction is Natural

Anger is one of the most common emotions that take root in adult children of alcoholics and addicts – and it’s understandable. No one likes being hurt repeatedly by their parent, who is supposed to love and care for them unconditionally. It’s important to not bottled up these feelings when grappling with them. Talking about a parent’s addiction with someone who will not judge you or your parent is a healthy way to practice anger management. A mentor, prayer partner, therapist, or support group can give you a safe space to express yourself to trustworthy people. They can give you the tools and guidance to let go of anger before it takes over.

Resentment About Addiction Harms You Most

Anger over injustice (about how an alcoholic parent or parent with drug addiction treats you) is something you can live with and learn from. But it’s important to make sure your anger doesn’t turn into resentment over time. Resentment about addiction does more harm than good. Since your parent is unlikely to understand the full impact of their behavior if they have not gotten help for their addiction, you (and not your parent) are the one who is most hurt by your feelings of resentment. It ends up shutting you down emotionally, which robs other relationships of the joy and fulfillment you’d otherwise get from them,

How to Curb Unhealthy Anger About Addiction

While anger about addiction doesn’t go away after a few therapy sessions, learning some healthy practices can help you let go of toxic anger and view things in a healthier way.

• Compassion: Your parent may be addicted, but there is more to them than this behavior and the negative ways in which their mind, body, and emotions have been harmed by their addiction. Learning how to separate your parent as a person from their addiction as an issue or illness can help you cultivate compassion for them that will keep you from becoming bitter and resentful.
• Distance: Keeping a healthy distance from your parent is okay and appropriate. Spending time with other friends and family ensures you have a safe place to go during a difficult time at home. Not engaging in conversations, you know will make you angry with your parent can be another effective way to set better boundaries and keep unhealthy anger from taking control.
• Connection: Not every conversation or activity should center around your parent and addressing their addiction. Finding things to do that you enjoy (taking walks, visiting friends, creating art, and so on) is a great way to get you out of a stressful environment, and increase your feeling of connection.

Your parent’s addiction does not define you or your worth. We’ve seen many young people and adults who grew up with an addict or alcoholic who now live happy, productive lives, and make progress in their family relationships. While it can be hard to remain faithful when living with an addicted parent, God cares about your family. You are not alone, and you’ve found the right place for guidance and support. Access live chat, email mentors, and find more resources to get help with family addiction.

Do you feel abandoned by your parent's addiction? Read my blog, Dealing with Abandonment.

Her Anger Gets in the Way

Have you ever wanted to do something big in your life but the people around you told you that you couldn’t do it or that it was impossible? That’s exactly what Jasmine is up against. Jasmine’s mom and some of her friends are telling her she can’t become what she wants to be. They tell her, “You can’t do this.” Jasmine wants to be a social worker for kids in foster care. She’s been there and gone through what they are going through and wants to give them hope. Jasmine’s adopted mom thinks her anger gets in the way.

I believe Jasmine can deal with her anger, get healing and then pass on what’s she learned to those she wants to help. She will be able to speak with the authority of Jesus Christ working in her life. The foster kids are more likely to listen to her than others who haven’t been through the same experience.

Peer to Peer: Messages of Hope for Jasmine

We received some encouraging messages from Mariah, Nadege, Pastor Wes, and Lenny, to reassure Jasmine that she can get help for her anger and follow her dreams.

Share Your Story about Anger

Mariah went through some major challenges. She had a lot of anger and rage because of issues with her family and older sister. The drug abuse in her family really affected her and made her want to spread awareness about drug addiction. Mariah was asked to speak to the Freshman class in the high school she was graduating from. She took the opportunity and was able to share her story, which really helped in her healing process.

Follow Your Dreams

Nadege advised Jasmine to: “Follow your dreams! Follow your heart!” She said, put God first and allow Him to work in you. Then there’s nothing you can’t accomplish. If God wants you to be a social worker, God will help and heal you! You will become the best social worker out there!

Reading God’s Word is your Pillar for Strength

Michelle said, reading God’s word is going to be the pillar Jasmine needs for strength. She shared 2 Timothy 1:7, “For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”

Work on Fear Issues First

Pastor Wes said he adopted 2 young girls who were really struggling. They were dealing with bipolarism, in trouble with the law, and failing in school. He said what they dealt with first was the fear they were experiencing. They worked on the fear of rejection, the fear of abandonment, fear of loss, fear of failure…all those types of fears. After working through the fears, they worked on anger issues. Now, they are grown, one of them is a Guardian ad Litem and attorney and the other works in childcare, both graduated Valedictorians and are leading successful lives. Pastor Wes, said, you can do it too, Jasmine!

Going Directly to God with Questions

Lenny was adopted and didn’t know it until he was 19 years old. Then he realized his parents were not his biological parents. It sent him for a loop and made him do some unruly things. Once he found out all he could about the adoption, and sorted through his emotions, he realized the people who raised him were his parents. Lenny felt God’s pull on him throughout his life but didn’t respond until recently. He’s fully given his life to Christ and has recently been baptized.  Now, he knows whenever he has questions about life, he can go directly to God.

What advice would you give Jasmine?

If you’ve pursued your dreams despite being told they were unobtainable for you then would you share your story in the comments below? What you have to say could be the encouragement Jasmine or someone else needs to find hope in their journey.

Did Today’s Episode Get You Thinking?

Jasmine’s mom thinks her anger will stop her from achieving her dreams, BUT don’t we all have obstacles in our way that can stop us from reaching our deepest desires…if we allow them to? Anger can be destructive, but it can also be a force for good if it motivates you to turn your anger into passion. Jasmine has been through a lot, growing up in foster care. She’s experienced loss and heartache. But there’s hope for her. She can get counseling for her anger, find healthy ways to deal with it, and is she asks, God will help her along the way. She can use her anger over injustice in her life to help others. She can follow her dreams and be a force for good!

Resources for Help with Anger:

• Check out my blogs: How to Follow Your Dreams, How to Manage Your Anger, and Using Your Anger for Good.
• Here are some powerful stories from those who have followed their dreams and are making a difference in the world: School Assignment Changed Veronika’s Life, How Katie Made a Difference in Uganda, and Dream Big, Even on the Hard Days.
• Need to talk to someone about how you are feeling, then: Chat with a HopeCoach at TheHopeLine.

One last thing,

My podcast, our website, everything we do is entirely listener supported. If you’d like to help us to continue our work, please make a gift right now at our Give Now page.

Remember, whatever you do, Never Lose Hope!

My name is Izzy and this is my story:

I have been dealing with depression for eleven years. My sister passed away and my life changed completely. Then my Aunt passed away from suicide. Then on my Aunt's birthday, my grandmother died, of old age. I was abused by my father. My parents divorced, and my mom found a really cool guy who became my stepdad. I loved him until he started putting me down, shoving me out of the house, getting so close to me that when he yelled he would spit on me.

I have been bullied at school to the point where I'm afraid to be myself and talk to anyone because of fear of being laughed at. I have a really bad life here. And I have attempted suicide three times already.

TheHopeLine Saved My Life

But I came to TheHopeLine. My Coach talked to me and listened to me. I had been so scared to talk, but here I was safe. I am so glad because I had my pistol ready. Thank you so much.

If you are also going through a lot, don't give up. There is hope.
~ Izzy

Sometimes life seems filled with such pain, sadness, and hurt that we think we can't handle it anymore. Our minds convince us life will always be this hard and will never get better.  But we are here to tell you that while we fully understand how impossible things may seem, don't give up.  Life can get better. 

If Izzy can walk away with hope, so can you. But you need to want help. You need to decide you are worth fighting for. We believe you are worth it and so does God.

She Feels like God Has Forgotten Her

Ova graduated from college last year with a degree in health care management. She’s been diligently searching for a job this past year and says, “no one will give me a chance.” During this adjustment time in her life and all the job searching, she started dating a guy, she had met in school. Their relationship got physical but then she found out he was married with 2 kids.

With all that’s been going on in her life, Ova feels she’s not living to her full potential. She feels as if God has forgotten her. This has led her to question God, depression, and many sleepless nights. Where does she go from here?

Peer to Peer: Messages of Hope for Ova 

We received some inspiring message of hope and encouragement for Ova from Hannah, Kelly, and Sabine.

Turn to God

Hannah wants Ova to know, she’s struggling with some of the same things. For the longest time, she struggled with self-hate and felt she wasn’t worthy of God’s love anymore. She received the conviction that the Lord wanted her to turn back to Him, even though she had messed up so many times. Hannah says, “God is not a God of shame, but a God of grace and mercy.” And shared the scripture, 2 Chronicles 7:14: “If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.” Hannah tells Ova, “The 3 words I want you to remember are: Hear, Forgive, and Heal. God hears you Ova. He hears you, He hears your cry. He hears and knows your heart. And He forgives you because He loves you and you were called by name and he’s going to heal you.”  Turn to God!

You Will Overcome and Get Over It

Kelly says you will overcome and get through this. She advises Ova to try to go to church and find things she likes to do. Kelly also said, try to read your Bible and pray. She says, people will be there for you, you just have to pray, and God will lead you the way you need to go.

Put God First

Sabine says sometimes we don’t realize how we can block our own blessings from God because of the choices we make and the way we choose to live. She says, during Ova’s time of job searching, she wasn’t putting God first, she was not living a lifestyle pleasing to God. Sabine said to make sure you remember every day, all day, to put God first.

What Does Ova Need to Do?

1. Get Her Spiritual Life Together

Until she gets her spiritual life together she will remain as she is – stuck.  She confessed that she’s not living to her full potential.  She can’t sleep. She can’t find a job.  She hates herself and feels like God has forgotten her.  She’s just going in circles.  And she’s miserable. Until she gets her spiritual life together, she will remain as she is – stuck.

2. Stop allowing Shame to destroy Her Self-Worth

Guilt is feeling bad about what you do. Shame is feeling bad about who you think you are.  She believes she’ll always be unworthy before God because of what she has done, which affects how she feels about herself. Shame is a deadly game and she’s mixed up in it. No one needs to be caught in shame and live that way for long. You can’t, it’s so toxic that in time, it will break you down and destroy you.

3. Accept God’s Love

God hates shame and wants to show us his love and acceptance. He longs to show us we are forgiven. Christ was covered in shame when he died on the cross, so we don’t have to be.  I thought the verse Hannah used was very powerful. The Bible says in, 2^nd Chronicles 7:14, “If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.” If we will but pray and seek God and turn from the wickedness and trash in our lives. God will forgive and heal us.

4. Be Patient with Herself

Ova needs to be patient with herself.  God forgives the minute you confess, but there is a healing process.  May Ova’s prayer become a reality in her life. May she find a job soon. May she continue to walk with God in a whole new light. May Ova experience the answer to her prayer to hear the truth that will set her free.

What Advice Would You Give Ova?

Ova was very appreciative of the great advice she received. If you have advice for Ova, would you type it in the comments below!?! You never know when Ova or someone else struggling might read it, be encouraged and find hope from you.

Did Today’s Episode Get You Thinking?

Have you ever been in a place in your life where you never thought you would end up? The good news is that we have the freedom to start putting God first in our life at any time. God wants to help us change and transform into the person He wants us to be. God is a God of grace and mercy. He forgives when we ask, and he heals our brokenness. Let’s turn to God, surrender to Him, and allow Him to work in our lives.

Resources for Help With Shame and Self-Worth:

• Here are all of our resources on faith to help you with your relationship with God: Faith Resources
• Check out my eBooks: Understanding Forgiveness, Understanding Self-Worth, Understanding a Relationship with God, and Understanding Hope.
• Check out: Verses of Hope for Forgiveness
• Check out my blogs: God Wants to Hear from you! How to Pray, and This Hole in My Soul, and Life is Worth Fighting For
• Need to talk to someone about how you are feeling, then: Chat with a HopeCoach at TheHopeLine.

One last thing,
My podcast, our website, everything we do is entirely listener supported. If you’d like to help us to continue our work, please make a gift right now at our Give Now page.

Remember, whatever you do, Never Lose Hope!

If you’re dealing with addiction or experiencing a relapse, true recovery is a challenge. When you feel overwhelmed by recovery, it can be tempting to self-soothe or self-medicate with unhealthy or addictive behaviors.

To understand the difference between self-care and self-soothing, think of those times when you have an illness. You wouldn’t care for the flu with junk food, parties, and entertainment that would only make you feel good for a brief time. You would care for the root causes of your illness and follow prescribed treatments that truly heal your body (rather than just masking your discomfort).

Likewise, true self-care is the only way to heal your mind, body, and spirit from the pain and scars left by the disease of addiction.

Caring for Your Body

Since many relapse and addiction triggers happen when you are hungry, tired, or irritable, caring for your body is paramount when you’re in addiction recovery.

• Exercise: Staying active releases endorphins, which make you feel better without self-soothing in an unhealthy way.
• Nutrition: Eating when you’re hungry (and nourishing yourself with healthy meals and snacks) is key to feeling well in your recovery.
• Hydration: Drinking plenty of water is essential to your health and well-being and staying hydrated is a great way to curb cravings for unhealthy or addictive foods and drinks.
• Rest: Getting enough sleep makes it easier to focus on getting things done and makes you more likely to stay focused when building other healthy habits

Caring for Your Mind

Since addiction takes place in the mind as much as the body, it’s important that your self-care extends to your mental health. Set and keep regular appointments with your doctor, as well as for any recovery mentorship or therapy you receive. The extra accountability and support goes a long way.

Starting a mindfulness meditation practice may also help you focus more clearly on your recovery and the positive intentions behind it. You don’t even have to leave home to try it. You can find meditation blogs and sites, YouTube channels, and smartphone apps to remind you to take time out for your daily mindfulness exercise.

Many recovery programs use creative expression as a form of healthy self-care. Journaling, writing stories or poetry, drawing, painting, and collaging are just a few of the ways you can share the words, thoughts, and feelings of your recovery journey.

Starting a hobby (or picking it back up) is another wonderful way to de-stress without turning to unhealthy thoughts or behaviors.

Sewing, artwork, reading, hiking – whatever you enjoy, it’s perfectly okay to treat yourself to things that stimulate your mind and connect you with others. For ideas, try searching for local community education classes or meetup groups that interest you – there’s a lot to do and learn!

Caring for Your Spirit

There’s a reason some of the most famous recovery programs in the world acknowledge a higher power very early on. Faith and grace make the impossible possible.

“With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”- Matthew 19:26 (NKJV)

Recovery fueled by faith also offers a sense of community, which helps counter the sense of isolation that triggers many relapses into addictive behavior.

If you are interested in knowing more about God who makes all things possible, read this - Learn More About God
We’ve talked with many people who don’t go to church, but who have found comfort and peace from receiving prayer for addiction recovery.

If you’re struggling with addiction, we are here to help. Your healing is possible, and it can begin now.

If you're struggling with an addiction to prescription medications download this free eBook for help. 

The end of a relationship can feel devastating. It can be hard to sleep, eat, or concentrate. The things you once thought were fun don’t appeal anymore. Depending on how long you were together, or how intense the emotional attachment was, it may even feel like you don’t know what direction your life will take now.

But don’t give up faith, and don’t lose hope.

As with other types of grief, grieving after a breakup can be done in a healthy way that points you toward healing without spiraling into bitterness, shame, or self-loathing.

Things Will Get Better

Acknowledging the end of a relationship is tough, but there are other things to learn and know after a breakup that are more empowering. One study by the Journal of Positive Psychology found that most participants saw progress in their healing, recovery, and growth after only a few months (around 11 weeks).

Just as knowing that you’re not alone in your feelings can help you when things are at their worst, knowing that you can and will heal from a breakup can help you move forward. There are plenty of practical ways to start on a path to wholeness.

Use Your Time Wisely

Since you’re not spending time with your significant other anymore, it can be tempting to fill that time by wallowing in negative emotions like self-pity, rage, and bitterness.

It may feel good to get those feelings out of your system, but they can do damage if not balanced by other emotions or experiences. If you have a history of struggles with harmful behaviors, addiction, or mental illness, the days after breaking up are a critical time to reach out for help and support.

There are lots of productive ways to use your time after a breakup. Here are a few of the most effective:

Travel: Going somewhere new can be a healthy distraction from the places and routines that remind you of your boyfriend or girlfriend. Take a road trip with some friends, visit family, or visit a hometown landmark you’ve never seen before. Planning and enjoying a trip helps you feel more independent, and may broaden your horizons along the way.

Learning: Learning something new is always fun and energizing. The sense of accomplishment it provides can boost your confidence and help you counter the negative emotions that come along with a breakup, You can try:

• Taking a cooking class
• Finding a new hobby
• Exploring the outdoors
• Sports, games, or exercise
• Learning a new language

Helping Others: Whether it’s volunteering for a cause you believe in, giving time to a ministry at your church, tutoring at your local community center, or being there for a friend who’s going through a rough time, helping others is one of the most therapeutic things you can do after a breakup. It will help you feel better and it may provide you with some much-needed perspective.

Know Your Value

One of the most important things to remember when dealing with a breakup is that your partner’s negative words and feelings about you do not define your true worth. You had worth before and during the relationship. Your value cannot be damaged or diminished by a breakup, no matter how painful the end of the relationship feels.

Believing this can be even more of a struggle if your romantic relationship (or other close relationships that would otherwise be a part of your support system) included a history of abuse, mistreatment, or abandonment.

“He gives strength to the weary, and increases the power of the weak. . . Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not be faint.”— Isaiah 40: 29, 31 (NIV)

But going through a breakup does not make you broken. You were created for good, and there is abundant grace and mercy to strengthen you and help you move forward. TheHopeLine is here for you during your breakup. Talk to us, reach out to a mentor, or request prayer whenever you need it. We can help you work toward healing a broken heart and make sure you reconnect with healthy relationships.

You fell in love and got hurt now what do you do? Find out how to heal, cope and love again: