What to Know About Suicidal Ideation

What Is Suicidal Ideation?

Suicidal ideation is when you think about killing yourself. This could mean that someone is actively planning and considering suicide, or it could mean that someone is so overwhelmed that they just don’t want to go on. It’s estimated that about 9% of the general population experience suicidal thoughts, and around 5% of people between the ages of 18 and 25.

Those with health issues or other major life challenges are even more likely to deal with suicidal thoughts. Situational stressors like military service or being discriminated against can increase your risk of suicidal ideation, as can diagnoses of chronic pain, traumatic brain injury, substance abuse disorder, depression, bipolar disorder, and more.

Passive suicidal ideation is when a person wishes to be dead or hopes that it will happen soon but doesn’t make any plans to make it happen. This could look like crawling into bed for the night and hoping that you don’t wake up in the morning. This could look like thinking about how you wouldn’t have to face your problems if you were gone. It could also look like feeling so tired that you wish you could just “sleep forever.” Essentially, you may not necessarily want to die, but you do not want to live your life either.

Active suicidal ideation is when a person not only wants to die but fully intends to and may even already have plans for how to do it. While both are cause for concern and treatment, if you are having suicidal thoughts that include details about how you would commit the act, it’s important that you talk to someone ASAP. Please reach out to a Hope Coach today, or call 988 for support and 911 if you’re in immediate danger.

Do You Feel Suicidal Right Now?

I know life can be hard and problems can pile so high that we cannot see a way out. I want to give you some practical ideas to try when you are at the depth of despair and feeling overwhelmed and hopeless. When you feel suicidal, please try these four steps.

When you have lost hope and believe suicide is the only way out, please try these four ideas:

1. Reach Out for Help

I understand that finding the strength to do this can be really hard, especially if you also feel alone, but suicide prevention services are available to help.

• Chat with a Hope Coach
• Call or chat with the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 or www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
• Call your Contract for Life Partner or anyone who you trust...friend, pastor, parent, teacher, etc.

What Is a Contract for Life Partner?

Every person who is even remotely thinking of suicide, should have a Contract for Life partner. A Contract for Life partner is someone you trust and who understands you. This is someone you make a commitment to that says, I promise that if I have serious thoughts of killing myself, I will talk with you or with someone else I trust before I do anything destructive.

John is a survivor and here is his advice, "Don’t keep quiet if you are going to hurt yourself or others…please speak up. If you are feeling suicidal then talk to someone, don’t keep quiet about it. There is someone out there who will listen to you."

Keely said she has an older friend she calls when she feels suicidal thoughts coming on: I told her everything. And I told her that I need her help. Sometimes I just call to hear her voice to know I'm not alone. Other times, I ask if we can get together. She doesn't grill me, she's just there for me.

A Contract for Life partner is priceless because you can meet with them face to face or talk on the phone anytime. If you do not have one, please make it a priority to go looking for one today.

2. Refer to your Safety Plan

Take time right now to print out the Prevention Checklist and fill in the blanks of the Suicide Safety Plan. Then, whenever you have depression and suicidal thoughts, you can pull out your plan and follow what you have written down.

3. Remove whatever can harm you at that very moment

If there are guns, knives, and pills in your house, then RUN from your house. Get away from anything you can use to hurt yourself. This will buy you time to settle down and begin to think rationally. Some people are most suicidal when they are drunk.

Have someone you know, and trust clear all those things out of your house.

Wendelin said she was suicidal for over three years but was helped by knowing she wasn't alone:  I had a friend who was there for me no matter what. I tried to push this friend away so many times, she took away the knives and scissors I'd cut with, my dad's diving knife, my grandpa's gun, and the hose and rope so I couldn't hang myself. Even though I was so mad at her for it, I knew she cared and that she really did love me.

Glory wrote: I tried a couple of times but it never really worked. Then one night I realized something. If you can't change it, get over it. There are much better things to do in life than sit around hating life. God gave us life so we should use it. Killing yourself is only running away from your problems. It won't help one bit.

4. Turn to other Activities

The key here is to get your mind off of doing the unthinkable. If you are near suicide, you want to change the subject, or divert your mind from what you were planning to do. Walk, jog, bike, swim, take a nap, take a hot shower, watch a movie, listen to music, read a book, do household chores, clean, go shopping, go to the park, volunteer at an animal shelter for a few hours – An excuse to play with puppies? Yes, please! Anything that has the potential to help you lift your spirit.

Kelsey discovered this worked for her: I actually went and got a knife to kill myself and I just stopped and I was thinking this really isn't solving my problems is it? So I just decided to try to get into something like hip-hop classes, get my mind off my life, and just try to live life to the fullest.

You were made for more.

I know it feels like life will never get better, but I believe that you can get to the other side of this pain. I believe you were created for more than what you are feeling right now. God designed you in His image. He breathed life into you. He KNOWS you and LOVES you and has a purpose for your life.  It may not FEEL that way, but we can't always trust our feelings.

There is a man in the Bible who God says was a man after his heart. His name was David.  Yet David struggled with his feelings a lot. Read the book of Psalms and you will see what I am talking about.  For example, here is what King David said in Psalm 6:6-9, "All night I flood my bed with weeping, drenching it with my tears. My vision is blurred by grief; my eyes are worn out because of all my enemies. Go away, all you who do evil, for the Lord has heard my weeping. The Lord has heard my plea; the Lord will answer my prayer."  Here are other Bible verses to encourage you - Verses of Hope when Struggling with Suicidal Thoughts
There are many more articles on TheHopeLine regarding suicide and we want you to know you are not alone. You matter, you are good enough and you are loved.

If you or a friend need support right now, chat on-line with a Hope Coach, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988, for free confidential, 24/7 help. Head here for a list of crisis centers around the world. For additional help, please visit the suicide prevention resource page.

If you know someone who has thought about ending their life by suicide, you realize how hard it is to know what to say or do about it. Do you need support to help a suicidal friend?

Are they just joking? Do they just want attention? Or is something serious going on? The truth is, most suicidal individuals give definite warnings of their suicidal intentions, but people around them are either unaware of the significance of those warnings or don't know how to respond to them.

Kendra said she has thought about killing herself many times:  If I don't have anyone to talk to once in a while, to get my feelings out, I get really sad, because I feel like no one cares about me. I think about what would people think if I was dead, or would they be happier without me? I'd hate to think Kendra, or someone like her would kill herself because she feels no one ever showed her they cared. Perhaps you have a friend like Kendra who has said some things to you that sounded like she or he might be deeply depressed, or even suicidal. It's very important to recognize those signs.

Most suicidal individuals give definite signs of suicidal thoughts and intentions.

Make sure you take any threat of suicide seriously.

How to Help a Suicidal Friend

What Are Classified As Suicidal Thoughts?

When someone you know is struggling, it’s really hard to know how to help. A good place to start is simply educating yourself about the signs and symptoms of certain mental health issues and knowing what resources are available to someone in need.

Here are some of the signs to watch for. A suicidal friend may:

• Have mood swings.
• Talk more frequently about death or says things like “You’d be better off without me”.
• Withdraw from friends and family, or isolates more than usual.
• Engage in risky behaviors like unsafe sex, substance abuse, and self-harm.
• Experience drastic changes in behavior.
• Lose interest in hobbies, work, school, etc.
• Give away prized possessions.
• Lose interest in their appearance.
• Express a deep sense of hopelessness.
• Project a deep sense of serenity, or being at peace.
• Complain about being a bad person or feeling rotten inside.
• Have recently experienced a traumatic event like a breakup, death of a loved one, terminal illness diagnosis, etc.

If you have noticed things like this, or if someone has confessed to you that they are feeling depressed, here are some examples of what a suicidal person might say:

• “I want to die.” or “I wish I were dead.”
• "If I killed myself, then people would be sorry."
• “I wish I could go to sleep and never wake up.”
• “I wanted to say goodbye.”
• “When I’m gone, you can have my ___.”
• “If I was ever going to commit suicide, I’d do it by ____.”
•  "If I wasn’t around, no one would miss me."
•  "All of my problems will end soon."
•  "I won’t be a problem for you much longer."
•  "Nothing matters; it’s no use."
•  "I won’t see you again."

If any of this sounds familiar, it may be time to encourage them to seek help. If they need support, you can help them reach out to a Hope Coach or call 988. If you suspect they’re in immediate danger, though, call 911.

It’s important to remember, too, that some people who attempt suicide display absolutely no signs or symptoms beforehand. You simply never know how a person is really feeling, so it’s a good idea to get in the habit of checking in on your friends and family often, not just when you think something might be wrong.

So, what can you do to help someone who has suicidal thoughts?

• Get involved. Be available. Show interest and support.
•  Don't be afraid to talk to them about suicide. Talking about it does not make it worse, but better. Be direct. Talk openly and freely about suicide.
• Be willing to listen without judgment. Ask, "Tell me what you are feeling?"
• Assure them that you understand that what they are feeling is very real to them, but that they are NOT alone.
• Let them know you aren't going to abandon them.
• If they haven't brought it up, but you are concerned they are thinking about suicide, ask them directly. Here's an example of how, "Sometimes when people feel the way you are describing they have thoughts of suicide. Is this true with you?" If they are, this gives them permission to talk about it and actually brings relief because someone else brought it up. If they aren't, they will rush to assure you they aren't.
•  Ask if they have a plan. If so, take them seriously and move quickly to get help. Remove anything that would help them carry out their plan guns, drugs, alcohol, knives, etc.
• Offer hope that alternatives are available.
• Provide them with a list of suicide prevention resources.
• Help them fill out the Suicide Safety Plan.

Things to Avoid Saying/Doing to Someone Talking About Suicide.

• "I think you're just bluffing. I don't believe you."
• Don't act shocked.
• "You're not serious. You're just looking for attention?"
• It is not helpful to just rattle off a list of reasons to live without first listening to what they are feeling.
• Don't dismiss what they are feeling.  It is very real to them.
• Don't be sworn to secrecy. Get support.

Nicole said her sister saved her when she felt suicidal: Because of her, I am still here. If you know anyone who you may think have depression or suicidal thoughts, ask him or her if everything is okay and comfort them.

The Most Important Thing You Can Do

It is not so much about WHAT you say. The most important thing you can do is reassure your friend that you love them.

That's what happened when Heather was feeling suicidal: I told [my friend] what was going on and he just kept telling me that he cared that it wasn't the right thing for me, that I had so much more to do with my life. But the thing that helped me was that he said he loved me. I had felt so alone, and no one had told me that in a while not even my mom. Remind your friend that no matter how awful their problems seem, they can be worked out, and you are willing to help.

Please make sure you take any threat seriously from a suicidal friend. Of all the people who have died by suicide, 80% have given some kind of warning. A person who you feel is at high risk for suicide should never be left alone, if even for a moment. Keep talking to that person and stay with him or her. Don’t feel like you have to handle this on your own.

Most times a suicidal person needs someone close to them to be a voice of hope. Amberly agrees: Sometimes all you need is to be loved and know someone is there to catch you when you are about to fall. You could very well be that voice of hope to someone you love. Your efforts might just save someone's life.

There is value in being fearless and bold in the pursuit of your dreams. But for some guys, their dream is to date the most amazing girl they know to the point they don't know when to stop pursuing this dream.

So, let's have an honest look at when it may be time to give up.

How to Stop Pursuing Someone

Signs it May be Time to Stop Pursuing a Girl

In life, persistence often pays off. But when it comes to a guy pursuing a girl, it can be just plain confusing.

Danny wrote: There's this girl who I really like. But I have no idea whether she likes me or not. Sometimes she acts like she does, but other times she doesn't. I'm just confused.

Well, Danny - here are some obvious signs that it might be time to move on. But then keep reading for great tips on how to pursue a girl in a more appropriate way.

12 Signs to Move On

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/KkcjSWlv-y8?feature=share

• When she obviously avoids you
• If you show an interest in her, but she seems to ignore you
• She acts one way around you, and another way around her friends
• No longer responds to your calls/texts/emails/snaps
• She asks you to stop
• Or tells you you're coming on too strong
• Your friends tell you to move on
• She talks to you about another guy she's interested in
• If she seems bothered, irritated or angry at you
• Your self-esteem starts to suffer for it
• You start to think you are going crazy about the whole situation
• If you're wondering if you should stop pursuing her, it's probably time.

Skye wrote: People need to use the common sense the good Lord gave them. When something in your head tells you not to do something, don't do it. You'll thank yourself later.

Roy wrote: Everyone I knew early on told us it would never work out, but I stayed with her to prove them wrong. In the end, it left me more broken and confused. Had I listened early on I would have saved myself a great deal of trouble and pain.

The most annoying guys are the ones who are convinced they have to be with this one particular girl, even though they might not even really know her. These guys are usually so strongly attracted to something about this girl, that he thinks he's in love before he even knows her.

Bottom line - if it is taking a lot of effort to get her interested and she is showing no indication she likes you, it is time to back off for both of your sakes.

How to Tell if a Girl Likes You

How Do Girls Show Signs of Interest?

This is one of those times in life where it’s best to just get the awkward part over with. Instead of trying to read “the signs,” go talk to her! Ask her how she feels, and be direct. Is that scary? Yes. Will it help you figure out what you need to know? Also yes.

Waiting around to see if you can interpret her interest level based on eye contact or emojis is a recipe for confusion, hurt feelings, anxiety, and a whoooooooole lot of time spent guessing that could have been spent dating!

There’s a catch, though: you have to accept her answer, whatever it is. If you approach her and ask if she’s interested in you or if she wants to go on a date, and she says “no,” you need to respect that. Don’t think that she said “no” and then continue reading into her body language, wondering if she was really playing hard to get. Take her at her word, give your feelings some time to recover from the rejection, and then start focusing on the good things you have going in your life.

Here are some things you could try saying, texting, or dming if you’re sure you’re ready to know, once and for all, if she’s interested:

“Hey ______, I really like talking to you, so I’m just gonna come right out and ask, would you go on a date with me?”

“I’m nervous, so I’m gonna spit it out—I like you. Do you like me back?”

“How would you feel about dating me? I think it would be really nice.”

“I like you. May I hold your hand?”

Don’t overthink it. You’ve got this.

So how can you pursue a girl in an appropriate way?

Relationships take time to develop. You can't force your way into someone else's life.

First, just seek to be friends.

Give yourself time to get to know her. But even more importantly, give her time to get to know you. You deserve someone who is interested in you, as well.

Second, don't act like your entire happiness depends on her realizing how wonderful you are.

That's a lot of pressure on a girl. She wants someone who is happy and confident in their own right.

Third, show her respect.

Most girls love to be pursued by a guy or viewed as someone special. Most of the time they appreciate a guy's persistence and confidence. But more than anything, a girl wants to be respected and valued. The more respect you can show as you pursue her, the better.

Fourth, give the chase a rest.

If you stop pursuing her, and give the chase a rest, you might find out the answer you're looking for. If she's interested in you, she may try to find out where you've been. She might actually become more interested in you, because you're not trying so hard. But you might also find that she doesn't care that you've stopped pursuing her. That's a good sign that you were pursuing the wrong girl. It's probably time to take a break, and hope that you can get to know each other as friends over time.

Fifth, relax.

Be relaxed in your pursuit of your dream girl. Don't act like your entire happiness depends on her realizing how wonderful you are. Keep in mind there are plenty of girls in the world, some of whom will find you attractive and well worth their time.

Sixth, don't change who you are.

I know you like this girl a lot, but you don’t want a relationship that is this much work. You don't want to pretend to be someone else just to stay in a relationship. That's exhausting. You deserve someone who likes you just the way you are! Create healthy boundaries for yourself. Boundaries are emotional markers that clearly define where one person ends, and the other person begins.

Healthy boundaries allow you to be free to be yourself, and not feel like your happiness is dependent on what another person thinks about you.

God created you just the way you are. You are uniquely you with your talents, sense of humor, interests, and style. God designed you with a purpose and has great plans for you. Don't let a girl ever make you question if you are good enough and if you should change.

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Do you put yourself down all the time? Want to stop? Read this checklist of 10 ways to increase your self-esteem for a healthier self-image.

 

How to Handle Cheating

Do Relationships Survive Cheating?

Cheating often means the end of the relationship for people who are dating or married. Cheating is a violation of trust, and that betrayal is often sustained by multiple lies told over a long period of time. Since there are a lot of unhealthy patterns behind cheating, deciding to rebuild a relationship with someone who cheated on you is risky. It is important, before jumping back into that relationship or pursuing a new relationship, to understand the impact cheating has had on your view of relationships, your own self-esteem, and your ability to trust people. This will likely take time to explore and understand, and the guidance of a counselor or mentor is helpful if you feel overwhelmed.

If you have cheated on your partner, and they found out, it is important to apologize and ask for forgiveness. But remember: pressuring your partner to take you back is not a kind or loving choice. They will need time to heal, and you will need time to understand the impact of your own choices. Whether you were cheated on, or you cheated on someone, you are not doomed to repeat history. With support, you can grow and move forward with a healthier understanding of yourself and your relationships. 

https://youtu.be/KPJfA-KFujA?si=NnsQ4XWEwzc-8MkP

Reactions to Cheating

Have you been cheated on? How did you react? Was it an emotional rollercoaster rotating between rage, disbelief, and grief? I imagine at one point or another all of  these thoughts crossed your mind:

"How didn't I know? How could I be so dumb?"

"I hate them."

"I need to make that no-good cheater pay, and I have several ideas about how to do that."

"Am I really that worthless that he/she would hurt me like that?"

"I need to find a guy/girl who appreciates me, right now!  I deserve better. And I need to make them jealous."

"I miss him/her so much. How am I going to live without them?"

It is always painful when relationships come apart. But when cheating is involved it is usually far more painful for one person than the other, and cheating makes a painful situation so much worse.  It leaves a person feeling completely disrespected. The ability to trust can be lost.  It is rejection on a whole different level.

So, what do you do if you've been cheated on? How do you get past the pain and get on to the next part of your life?

Let's start out with a few things you SHOULD NOT do.

Six Things Not To Do When You've Been Cheated On

 

1. Don't waste time trying to get even.

One of the ways girls get back at their cheating ex is to spread rumors that are not true.  It might make you feel better for a little while, but in the end, you just make yourself look even more devalued. It may not seem that way to you, but it sure looks that way to everyone else. Don't lower yourself by retaliating, but say to yourself, "I'm too good for that."

Some people try to retaliate by doing something to hurt themselves. That doesn't make much sense, but it still happens. Girls have been known to date guys they do not like at all in order to get back at the guy they love.

2. Don't rebound in the same direction.

Cory wrote: Take your time moving on. Also, don't just jump into a relationship the minute you're single. Moving on takes time and drowning your sadness out by forcing yourself into a relationship might not be the best idea...Stay positive. Even try staying single for a few months to figure out what you want, who you don't want, and keep an open mind about relationships and people.

No matter how you try to cover it up, people who are cheated on almost always feel they have been disrespected, devalued, or cheapened in other people's eyes. It is a lot like that sickening feeling you get when someone makes some terribly nasty comment about you. Feeling a big hole inside that is screaming to be filled, the temptation is to quickly fill that void with another boyfriend. However, finding another boyfriend ASAP (as soon as possible) may not be the best way to find a guy AGAP (as good as possible). You might wind up in another cheating relationship.

Dawn wrote: If you want to move on to the next boyfriend and you don't want the same type of guy...#1 don't do or look in the same place u met the 1st BF. I believe deeply that before another relationship is established you must 1st be mentally, emotionally and spiritually ready because a new boyfriend no matter how great can't make u achieve that level of completeness necessary to handle the challenges of a relationship!

3.  Don't bear other people's guilt.

When people cheat, it is their decision and their responsibility. However, the ones cheated upon are often left wondering what they did wrong. When parents separate, it is the children who often wind up feeling guilty. Certainly, one person can be responsible in part for someone leaving a relationship, but in cheating, the cheater is totally responsible for his or her actions. We really never get away with anything. Ultimately, we will all answer to God for everything we do, say, and think.

4.  Don't let a bad wound fester.

Kaitlyn wrote: Well, never rush into a relationship cuz then so many things go bad and wrong and someone ends up hurt. and as for a healthy way to move on, just try to forget the guy and either relax and enjoy being single or start looking for a new guy.

Being cheated on cuts very deep. Though it may not seem so now, wounds do eventually heal. If, however, they are allowed to get infected, the infection can cause more long-term damage than the initial cut. Bitterness is the infection that causes a short-term wound to become a long-term affliction. By nursing and reviewing over and over the terrible actions of your ex-boyfriend and how terribly you were hurt, the wound festers. Eventually, that event becomes so rooted in your thinking that it shapes the way you view every other dating relationship.  So in a way, you take the infection from that cheating ex with you into every future relationship until you forgive and let it go.

5. Don't Engage in Missionary Dating.

Why do some girls continue to attract and date known cheaters? You would think that they would learn from their previous mistakes. Many times that happens because these girls have the secret desire to tame the wild man. They think they can make him a better guy. If you want danger and excitement, if you don't care about long-term committed relationships, and being cheated on doesn't bother you forge ahead. But if you are looking for love with known cheaters, then you're looking in the wrong places.

6. Don't Think You Are the Exception.

Dawn wrote:   If you want to move on to the next boyfriend and you don't want the same type of guy...don't look in the same place u met the 1st BF.

The most likely guy to cheat is the one who has done it before. So you would think girls would avoid previous cheaters like the plague. But that is far from what happens. There is always another girl willing to give them a chance.

Now there are things that can happen which will change a guy at his very core, things so dramatic that his bent to cheating and his weakness for temptation are turned into rock-solid faithfulness. But rarely will that kind of change come simply from a relationship with the next girl, not even you. Taming the cheater makes a girl feel like she is better than the girl or girls who couldn't. The most common reason that girls get involved with known cheaters is that they think that they will be the exception. Don't get too carried away with flattering words about how much better you are than his last girlfriend that he cheated on.

Do Cheaters Feel Guilty?

That’s a tough question. The short answer is: it depends on the cheater.

Here’s the longer answer:

Most people feel some guilt when they do something they know is wrong. That includes people who cheat on their romantic partners. The real question is, however, do they feel guilt or do they feel remorse?

If someone feels guilty, at the very least they understand that they’ve done something “wrong.” They hurt someone they loved. If someone cheats on you, and they claim that they don’t feel guilty, that would be a) surprising and b) a sign that they have some narcissistic tendencies that make them feel entitled to behave however they please.

Assuming that someone who cheated on you “feels bad” about it, here’s another follow-up question: do they “feel bad” because they got caught or do they “feel bad” because they hurt you and believe they made a mistake? There’s an important distinction there, since many cheating situations come to light because they’re discovered, rather than the cheater coming forward on their own. If you had to catch them, and they claim to feel guilty, does that mean as much to you as it would if they confessed to you of their own free will?

That’s where remorse comes in. Guilt is simply the feeling of knowing when you did a bad thing. Remorse is when you can recognize what you did was wrong, take responsibility for it, and are willing to do whatever you need to in order to reconcile the situation. For instance, if someone is truly remorseful about cheating, that person will apologize freely rather than defend or make excuses for their actions. They may offer to make lifestyle changes and promise to seek therapy. Their actions, not just their words, will prove that they are serious about rectifying what they’ve done.

The presence of remorse doesn’t necessarily mean that you can or should save the relationship, but it’s a necessary starting point.

The Truth is You Are Exceptional

Here's the deal, no matter how GREAT you are (and you are GREAT), the issue is with him, not you.  So please don't lose sight of your own self-worth.  If you are loving with your whole heart and treating your guy with respect, you should receive the same in return.

I hope you know how special you are.  If you are doubting yourself at all, consider this, the God of the universe can't stop thinking about YOU!

"How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me!" - Psalm 139:17-18

You deserve more!  You were made for more!

For more verses of hope about God’s plan for relationships, love and sex read these Verses of Hope for Cheating in Relationships.

The end of a relationship is devastating. For help read - Moving on: How to Properly Grieve and Heal After a Breakup.

Hannah wants to live for God. She’s 24 years old and wants to wait to have sex until she’s married. She’s had guys ask her out, but they’re not the guys she’s looking for. She’s feeling discouraged about waiting for the right guy, but she also doesn’t want to have her heart broken over and over again.

How to Wait for the Right Person

Discouraged with

https://www.thehopeline.com/dating-learn-more/

If you’ve been waiting for the right guy…

If you’ve been discouraged about the whole dating scene…

If you’re a Christian and want a romantic relationship, but want it centered on Christ…

Then this podcast episode is for you.

Our guest today is Hannah. She has specific things she wants in a guy. She wants him to love God and be serving God with his whole heart. Is that too much to ask? Is she missing out because she’s not dating guys who have asked her out? Stay tuned to find out.

Dawson: What about it, Hannah? What's going on with you?

Hannah: Well, I'm a Christian and I do have morals. I want to live for God in the way he wants me to

Dawson: What kind of morals do you have?

Hannah: Well, like, waiting for marriage and I want to find a good Christian guy, who's honorable and humble and loves God.

Dawson: A godly man for a godly woman.

Hannah: Yes

Dawson: And you're not, well, you're not willing to give up on that either. Are you?

Hannah: No, no, no, no. I think since I've made it this long, I think I can still push through, but I've just been feeling discouraged.

Dawson: Why are you discouraged?

Hannah: Well, I've had some guys who've asked me out, but they're not the type of guy that I'm looking for. I've had good men ask me out, but they're not Christian or they have tattoos or they're kind of crazy. So, I've just kind of said no, I'm used to saying no. So, I was just calling for some advice.

Dawson: How can I put this? I'll just put it out there. Dating is overrated. Studies show that you have to go through nine people before you find the 10th one, which is the one. I've read that. Think of all the heartache and confusion and the whole trajectory of your life could be changed if you date the wrong person.

What you're doing too is you're, you're protecting your marriage. So, when you do get married and have that wonderful first night. You're only getting in bed with one guy in your mind, not 50. You're not bringing your past with you is what I'm trying to get at.

Let me read you some scripture here. By the way, I think you're fine. I'm proud of you.

Hannah: Well, you're the only one, besides my parents.

Dawson: What are people saying to you? What do your friends say? You're crazy or what?

Hannah: Yeah, well they hint at it, like, your kind of weird. I've dated 5, 6, and 7 guys by your age or more. I just don't want to waste my time with the wrong guy. I want to spend my time with the right guy. It just seems that I'm not coming into contact with very many godly men. They're not the type of guy I'm looking for. And so I don't really know what to do.

Dawson: You know what you do? You actively seek the Lord. Let him bring the guy into your life. Because if you get in there and try, you'll just make a mess of things and little by little sell-out. I'm going to read you this scripture. And then I've got an idea.

Hebrews 10: 35-37 “Therefore do not cast away your confidence, which has great rewards.”

So, you're starting to feel underconfident about your position and I want you to be more com confident than ever.

“Where you have need of endurance so that after you have done the will of God, you may receive the promise for yet a little while, and he who is coming will come and will not tarry.”

Gods got a boatload of blessings for you, but no wine before it's time. I’m going to ask my friends who are listening tonight to call in to encourage you to hold on. Would you like that?

Hannah: Yes, sir, that would be very nice, because I don't have much encouragement.

Dawson: Well, if all goes well and my friends do what they always do, they're going to call in and they're going to encourage you about this. I want to encourage you about this. Just think if you hold out, it can affect your marriage when you're 45.

Peer to Peer Advice For Hannah:

I'm proud of Hannah. There are so many people looking for a guy rather than looking for a God, looking for a woman, rather than looking for what the Holy Spirit can. Do you see what I'm saying?  Would you call in to encourage her?

It’s the Right Thing to Wait - Laura

Keep following her heart, her Holy Spirit-led heart. It's the right thing to wait, to keep praying for the spouse that God has for her. Because in that she'll be rewarded and encouraged and find a godly spouse that has the same kind of passions that she does.

My husband and I have been married for almost 18 years. We were high school sweethearts, who met at church. I had thought about dating before, but never really did because I wasn't interested in having my heart broken over and over; so that eventually my husband would wind up with some sort of damage. I wanted to be as healthy and God-honoring for him as I possibly could.

And now it's really neat to get to see how healthy and happy and strong our marriage is because of our obedience. Right now, we're even getting a chance to foster a baby, which is huge for us, for God and our lives, to use us together for his glory and his purposes.

Dawson: What'd you think about that, Hannah?

Hannah: That was very encouraging. Yes, I feel the same way, I don't want to have to keep breaking my heart over and over again, because I do get attached to people very easily. So, I really don't want to do that, unnecessarily.

Dawson: Well, what does scripture say? “Guard your heart. For out of it comes the issues of life.” (Proverbs 4:23) A lot of times we just dive in there looking for that one that'll love us, wall-to-wall love, living in la la land. And all we do is get hurt and take the hurt into our marriage. Now, if people have done that, taking the hurt into the marriage, that doesn't mean God can't heal it, but why do it if God didn't want you to?

The Best Thing You Can Do Is Wait – Dana

I have experience in not waiting. I'm unequally yoked. And I tell you, honey, the best thing that you can do is to wait, be patient. The Lord will reward you, just like Laura said. You will be so rewarded. It's hard to be unequally yoked. I was saved late in life and my husband isn't and it's hard. So, keep praying, find that man, that godly man. You'll be rewarded.

My First Marriage Was My Choice, My Second Was God’s - Christy

Well, miss Hannah, I have tried it both ways. I am in my second marriage. My first marriage was my choice, and my second marriage was God's choice, and we have seven beautiful children. I encourage each one of them to seek God first and let him send you who you're supposed to be with, because he will in his time.

Once I stepped back and learned that and started seeking him and the holy spirit. He put him right in front of me and we've been together almost 12 years now, married. And like I said, we have seven beautiful children, and three grandchildren. I understand you have friends and everything, but sometimes you just don't need to listen to them. You need to listen to your one true friend and that's our heavenly father. That's true. So, you just keep going the way you're going and stay strong.

Dawson: Hey Hannah, did you like that line? The first one was my idea, and the second one was God's.

Hannah: Yes

Dawson: And we don't have to listen to our friends if our friends, in fact, violate scripture. 

Hannah: Right. Yes. I have to say, my friends are really. They're not like me. They're all kind of living the way of the world. They’re not close friends, but they’re the people that I talk to. I find that I can't really have any close friends because nobody really like me. A lot of the kids in my generation, they're kind of letting me down.

Dawson: Well, you wouldn't have been the first one to have walked alone. Another saying I remember is, “Don't take counsel on how to win from losers.” You see somebody… and again we want to be gracious, we've all made mistakes, plenty of them… but they're just spouting out things that aren't of God.

Hannah: I've seen a lot of people pretend, or they like to believe that they're Christian and they go out and smoke pot or get in with the wrong crowds. And they think that they're living right.

Dawson: By their fruits, Jesus said, you will know them. He also said many in that day will say, “Lord, Lord, didn't I do great works for you? And I will say, “Go away. I never knew you.” Everybody talking about heaven ain't going to heaven.

God’s Got a Plan for You - Scott

The holy Spirit's just been working in my life lately and I'm a 54-year-old married, happily married with a godly woman. I'm out in front of dart wars, and my son is in there. He's nine and he's playing darts and I'm sitting in the car and, I heard your story. I didn't start until late in life. So, I got a lot of experience, in not living the right way, but God changed that in me.

My dad didn't live right till he was 50. When he did and God took his heart, he used to say to me, “Scott, God saves the very best for those who let him make the choice.” I'm listening to this program and I'm listening to the people speak and I'm watching the holy spirit move. And I just know that God's got a plan for you. You can find those people if you seek. Get around people in a church or a youth group and there are other girls that are needing somebody to walk with them. We do this together. We don't do it alone. God's going to place somebody in your heart. And he's going to place somebody in your life at the right time. He's preparing you for them and he's preparing them for you, but for you to call in takes a lot of courage.

Dawson: Hannah, you need to start looking at yourself as God's woman, a real shero in the faith.

Hannah: OK.

Dawson: The men come, and the men go, and they're overrated by the way, and God stands. There’s no man that can meet the needs that only God can meet. Men are nice and all that spice, but they're also messed up. We all are, right?

Hannah: Yes

Dawson: We were born into messed-upness. That's not a word, but it sounded good.

Write Your Requirements in a Letter to God - Oneida

My advice for Hannah would be to truly just love yourself and know that you're a precious jewel who God loves with all his heart. I kind of went through the same thing as you did. At 20 years old, I was pretty much ready, I wanted to be married young too, and I found someone. But you know what I did though? The thing that really truly helped me… because I was also lost… I found a way to get closer to God. I wrote a letter to him, simply telling him my needs and that I was really pretty much ready to meet the guy of my dreams.

So, what I did, was I wrote everything in there that I felt was important to me. And what I said was, God, I know that this is what I want, but I want you to give me what you want in my life. And so, months later I met the love of my life. Before that I kept control of that letter, every time someone would approach me to go on a date or something, if it didn't meet my requirements in that letter that I wrote to God, I would always decline it, simply because it was my commitment to God.

Dawson: That must have been some letter.

Oneida: Yes, it was really challenging because when you find yourself doing these things, it's like some guys just come all over the place, you know?

Dawson: Right, you were tested.

Oneida: Yeah. So, I'm like, so who do I go now with? I can't just choose anybody. So, then I just stuck with my letter and then I also put a ring on my finger and I said to myself, I'm married to God. So, this ring that I'm wearing right now, my prince charming will be replacing this ring whenever he comes.

Hannah: I actually wear one of those rings too.

Oneida: So, I wore it, and when my actual love now, my husband, asked me about it. He said, “Why are you wearing a, a ring?” I said, “Because I've been waiting for you to replace it. You are the one God sent for me and stuff, and you just simply need every requirement.”

 When we first got to know each other, he told me everything too, that he wanted in a woman, and we simply were a match. And for me, it's just simply truly what I follow - just to write a letter to God, value yourself, surround yourself with great people that would simply encourage you, and tell you, no, that is not the guy for you or something like that. You need to know to just stick with it. It's really hard. It's really challenging. We always have people telling us, “Oh, you know, the guy will come.” But it's really hard to know when that time will come.

Dawson: Well, God's not playing hide-and-go-seek on stuff like that. He doesn't stutter… when he's in the middle of it, you'll know.

Stay the Course, God Has Someone Special for You - Hillary

Hi. Yes. Hi. I just heard what the girl was just saying, and I have to totally agree with that, honestly. I went through a really hard relationship about a year and a half ago. And after that I was like, “OK, God, I'm done. Like, I'm done trying to do this on my own.” And I started journaling a lot and just crying out to God in my journal. I still do that to this day.

So, my encouragement to you would be like journaling and also what the other lady said, surrounding yourself with people who aren't going to tear you down, because God placed that in your heart. I really admire that in you that you want to stay pure, and you want to find the man for you and not go through all the heartbreak and pain and soul ties and things that you can get from other people. So, I guess I just wanted to say, to stay the course and that God has somebody really special for you because I'm holding onto that too.

We Need to Be a Complete Person When We Enter a Relationship - Princess

Hi Hannah. I just wanted to encourage you because as I was listening to you, there was such a sweetness that resonates through your voice. I know that God sees you because he sees your heart. And I think a lot of times we get so consumed with the way that the world frames relationships and where we should be and who we should date and how many people we should date and all of that, that we kind of forget that there's a place in our hearts, that even if you do marry and God brings the most amazing man that's just for you, that he still won't be able to fill up the space that belongs to God.

I remember when I learned that we have to be complete people when we enter into those types of relationships or into a marriage. I used to always hear you bring your 50 and the other person brings your 50, but you need to be a complete person, meaning you need to have your own identity. You need to know who you are, exactly what you like and who you are in Jesus. So that helps you bring a full plate to the table so that you guys can go out and live for the glory of God.

I get it. I am maybe what people would call an older woman that's not married. I'm not old. I'm 34 years old, but what I have found is that once I started to come out of my head and begin to learn who I am in God, then I realized that I wasn't living life. I was so focused on things that may not matter as much. And so that doesn't mean that relationships and marriage are not important, but it does mean that sometimes we can get clouded with things that kind of push us away from God.

So, be encouraged… love, love, love, find out what love is. And sometimes even if you have to dig deep and say, God, I want to believe you, or I want to hold onto this and I want to want you more than I want a guy or a relationship, but I can't do it on my own. So, I'm willing to be willing and watch God show up in your life.

It’s OK to Have Standards and Wait on the Right Guy

There’s a lot of pressure in our society to date and be in a relationship. Why do we put this pressure on ourselves and each other? It’s ok to be single. It’s ok to have standards and hold to those standards. It’s ok to wait on the right person. It’s more than ok to put God first, it’s what we are called to do.

I really resonated with what Princess said. She said it so well. We need to be complete people who know who we are in Christ first, before starting a relationship. And I love what she said… even when you have a good Godly man, he will not completely fulfill you, only Christ can do that.

When we are followers of Christ, we must die to our old selves. We now live for Christ. That’s a beautiful place to be, because you know what… God wants the absolute best for you and your life. He’s got a great plan and will unveil it in his time. He asks us to be patient and wait on him. That’s so hard to do but is so worth it.

Hannah, you are only 24, you’re not 54. You have time to find the right guy. God knows the desires of your heart. He says to wait on Him. If you wait on Him, trusting Him through the process, you will reap the rewards.

Thank you, Hannah, for joining us for this podcast. You stay the course and stay strong. You have a lot of support from all of us. A huge thank you to our rockstar peer-to-peer callers who gave Hannah encouragement….Laura, Dana, Christy, Scott, Oneida, Hillary, and Princess. Thank you to all of our listeners!!

Other Related Podcast Episodes on Dating:

Why Is It So Hard to Find a Connection with Someone? – EP 55

How to Avoid Sexual Temptation as a Christian – EP 42

Resources for Dating:

• It’s Perfectly OK to Be Single and Not Dating
• Don’t Allow Insecurity to Cause You to Settle
• How to Be More Content Being Single
• 36, Still Single, And Loving It!

Relevant eBooks on Dating as a Christian:

• Understanding Dating
• Understanding a Relationship with God and the Basics of Christianity

Need to talk to someone? Chat with a Hope Coach at TheHopeLine.

Until next time…Remember you are loved, you are valuable, and God has an amazing plan for your life.

Stephanie’s brother has a serious meth issue. Her parents didn’t even know where he was, then when they found out he was in jail, they told him, “If you don’t stop, we’re disowning you.” Stephanie’s carrying the weight of all this and needs help.

Loving a Sibling With an Addiction Problem

How to Help My Brother?

If you’ve ever had an addict in your family or been one yourself, you know the intensity that comes along with addiction. The highs and lows not just when you’re the addict but being the person trying to help them. You want to rescue them, but you can’t. You want to save them from their drug of choice, but they don’t listen. Our guest on today’s podcast is Stephanie. Her brother is a meth addict, and he’s landed in jail. Stephanie’s managed to talk him out of suicide, but she’s deeply concerned he’ll hurt himself. Stay tuned for Stephanie’s story and the peer-to-peer advice she receives.

Stephanie: My brother is two years younger than I am. He's 22 and he has a serious meth issue. Mom and dad don't know about it, and I'm the only one that does.

Dawson: He’s in jail and they don’t know?

Stephanie: Yeah, because he apparently didn't tell them what was going on. And so, they don't know where he is. They have no idea.

Dawson: But you do?

Stephanie: Yeah. They've asked me about it, and I know where he is, but they don't.

Dawson: When they asked you about it, what did you tell them? Did you lie or what?

Stephanie: Well, I told them the truth and they were shocked beyond words. They wound up going down there and they pretty much said if you don't stop, we’re disowning you.

Dawson: There's some tough love, right there.

Stephanie: Well, I'm about the only one he'll talk to. And they pretty much said that you're the one that did this. You have two kids and a girlfriend/woman that wants to divorce you over it.

He is broken beyond… it’s a mess. Mom and dad won't talk to him. Mom and dad won't go to court for him. Mom and dad won't pay it. Mom and dad won't pay bills. Mom and dad won't do anything. And pretty much mom and dads pretty much said, “Ok, this is your baby, you deal with it.”

Dawson: Whoa, how do you feel about that?

Stephanie: I don't like it because I feel like that's mean of them. But at the same time, I feel like he deserves a little bit of that because this really was his issue. He's the one that really did this. But at the same time, I don't like it because they raised him. I feel like this is not a good idea, but at the same time, he deserves what he gets. But yet nobody else will talk to him and he's constantly pleading for me to come down there and I'm like, I can't, because it doesn't matter if I talk to them or not, they're not going to listen to me, and they don't believe you. So, what are we supposed to do?

Dawson: He wants you to come down for what purpose? Just to talk with him because he's lonely or to try to come up with a plan to move your parents to help him get out of this jam, both?

Stephanie: Both, and he also wants me to come down there to try to talk to them, the judge, and the jail people to see if I can get him out. He’s supposed to get out in April, but they keep pushing it back. He's now into June when he's supposed to get out.

And he feels like nobody loves him. He feels like his life's over and he's seriously contemplated suicide several times and I've been able to bring him out of it. And I'm like, you've got two kids. You can't do this to them. You can't do this to me because I'm going to be left without a brother and your kids are left without a dad. So, don't do this!

Dawson: Ok. So, this is a peer-to-peer call. I feel led to turn this out to the many people who are listening tonight for the sole purpose of praying or giving godly advice. Let's get down to what we're going to ask them, alright.  We're going to say, here's our story, we need your advice. Stephanie feels helpless and knows there's nothing she can do. How can she handle this? How can she help her younger brother? That's the question, right? How can you handle this? How can you handle it? At the same time, how can you help your younger brother?

Stephanie: I'm scared that he's going to kill himself because he feels like he's never going to get out of jail. And I'm just like, if you do that, you leave me in a lurch because I don't really need kids. I don't even have a boyfriend in my life right now. My boyfriend broke up with me six years ago. I haven't talked to him since. So, I feel that if he killed himself, then I have the responsibility as his sister, to take on his kids. I'm not ready for that responsibility, yet my mom and dad won't do it.

Dawson: Well, they may not do it right now. Maybe God will change their mind.

Stephanie: I don’t know, I feel like we’re in a mess.

Dawson: I'm going to get you some help.

Peer to Peer Advice For Stephanie:

How can Stephanie help her brother? He’s talking about dying by suicide because he can’t handle it anymore. Do you have wisdom or encouragement for Stephanie and her brother? Please comment below!

You Can’t Pay For You Brother’s Choices - Kathy

The first initial thought I got was when you were talking about your parents' initial reaction to finding out about everything - that they threatened to disown him. This broke my heart. My whole life I've been surrounded by addiction, and I understand the pain that loved ones go through when the people that they love are suffering from addictions and those kinds of struggles. But the last thing they need is for people to disown them and to withdraw away from them because the only thing they need, other than help in that time, is to know that they're still loved. And to know that they still have someone who cares about them, who wants to be there for them. Whether it's urging your parents to see that or praying about it or both, that's something that he really needs. And if his parents can't be there for him, it's great that you're still letting them know that you love him and you do care about him, and you do want him to get help.

Secondly, I noticed there's obviously a lot of pressure on you or you're feeling a lot of pressure that his whole future and reality and health are on your shoulders, but that's not fair at all. It’s putting guilt on you, that you don't deserve because you didn't do anything. You care about him and that's great, but what he's doing, you shouldn't be paying for it. You shouldn't be paying for the choices that he made. And someone who's struggling with addiction, they're sick. They're mentally unhealthy. They're emotionally unhealthy; and hurt people, hurt people. But I think the line you just need to draw is you can let him know how much you love him and do what you can for what he can't do for himself right now.

When I think about addiction and what that does to someone, and the consequences they have to go through. And then I think about God and how he treats us when we make mistakes. And when we fall short and when we sin, if he still loves us, but he does not remove the earthly consequences from our actions. He lets us go through that. He gives us grace in our relationship and he still doesn't allow the relationship to break, but he doesn't remove our consequences for us. We committed a sin or we, you know, we made this choice, we pay the earthly consequences for it. And I think there is a line, you know, between you and your parents and how you operate with them and making a point to not let it break the relationship, but don't cross that line where you’re paying for the things he needs to pay for, and where you're dealing with the consequences that should be his consequences.

You Can Not Be Your Brother’s Enabler – Bobby Joe

Hey Stephanie, my brother is an addict. Matter of fact, he's in prison right now. First off, you need to love him where he's at. That's the very first thing, but the second thing is you cannot be his enabler. You can't do that… I was. And until your brother is tired of being sick and tired, this is the life he chooses. Now the most powerful thing we can do is hit our knees and pray for him, and that's all of us that are listening.

Your mom and dad - they're hurt. And right now, they're dealing with it the best way they know how. Now not knowing if your brother stole from them or this is brand new or anything, my brother did…so, there's a lot of hurt involved, Stephanie, because we want the best for our children.

enable him, just love him. That's all I have to say.

Al-Anon Is a Great Resource - Angel

Hi, Stephanie. There are a lot of groups out there, like Al-Anon that you could bring some strength from and grow from and learn how to deal with his addiction, to get a better understanding of what he's going through. And that way you're not bearing everything on your shoulders. Al-Anon is a great, great group. I believe that while he's in jail, he can seek out counseling… just to be able to talk about what he's going through.

You Can’t Be Everyone’s Hero - Christina

Hello. I just want to say, Stephanie, I'm going through a little bit of the same thing you're going through. I have tried to take notes through the calls, and I'll try to be quick. I think Kathy was very wise when she said that you can't pay for his mistakes.

I also think that it was very wise to say that we need to understand what they're going through. At the same time, there is so much more involved. And if you have children especially, and you have your own life, that is so much more important right now. You cannot be everybody's hero as much as you would like to be. All you can do is love them. But at the end of the day, all you can do when you lay your head on your pillow is to know that no matter what happens, you will always be there. And don't ever stop being there for your brother… ever! That's all I wanted to say.

God’s Bigger Than All of This

Dawson: Stephanie…

Stephanie: Wow, that’s amazing!

Dawson: You can’t be everybody’s hero. That was strong, wasn’t it?

Stephanie: Ah, yeah. Honestly, she was right, but the thing is, I'm not trying to enable him. I don't want to enable him because I know if he gets out, there's a possibility of it. But at the same time, I think that he's learned his lesson. But the thing is my parents don't seem to think so. And my parents don't want anything to do with him. And now I'm left trying to deal with it all. And then it's like, what on earth is this? I mean, don't you love your son?

Dawson: Well, God's bigger than your parents. God's bigger than you or me. God can handle this. He knows how to talk with your parents.

What Does it Mean When We Say God’s Bigger Than All of This?

When we say God’s bigger than any of this…what does that mean exactly?

Many times, we try to carry the burdens of life ourselves, like you, Stephanie are trying to carry the burden of your brother’s addiction and him being in prison, and carrying the burden of your parents not knowing what to do and not helping.

God, in His word, says we can cast all of our cares and worries on Him, and He will care for us. 

We don’t have to figure it all out ourselves, when we have God in our life. Fear and worry will only seek to discourage you and drain your emotions. I believe that’s part of what’s happened to your brother, Stephanie, and he’s detoxing – but he is worrying and stressed out and that’s draining him to the point where he doesn’t feel he can handle it.

Philippians 4:6 & 7 tell us, “Don’t be pulled in different directions or worried about a thing. Be saturated in prayer throughout each day, offering your faith-filled requests before God with overflowing gratitude. Tell him every detail of your life, then God’s wonderful peace that transcends human understanding, will guard your heart and mind through Jesus Christ.”

We have other options than being worried and wrapped up in discouragement. We can go to God in prayer, and He’s a big God who can handle anything we throw his way. God’s big and he can see the big picture. Allow Him access to work in your life. Give your cares and worries to Him and trust Him. He loves you and your brother and wants the best for you both.

Thank you, Stephanie, for joining us for this episode of The Dawson McAllister Podcast. And a huge shoutout to our amazing peer-to-peer callers: Kathy, Bobby Joe, Angel and Christina. You all laid out the wisdom. Woot!

Thank you for listening to this episode of The Dawson McAllister Podcast. I hope it leaves you a little wiser than you were before. I’ll leave you with this incredible scripture, Ephesians 3:20, “Never doubt God’s mighty power to work in you and accomplish all this. He will achieve infinitely more than your greatest request, your most unbelievable dream, and exceed your wildest imagination! He will outdo them all, for his miraculous power constantly energizes you.”

Other Related Podcast Episodes on Substance Abuse:

• How to Cope and Stay Clean After Prison – EP 36
• Should I Stay and Support My Drug-Addicted Fiancé? – EP 54

Resources for Substance Abuse:

• Someone I Love Has an Addiction: Can I Help?
• How to Help Someone Who Is Overdosing
• Recover from Addiction
• The First Steps to Addiction Recovery
• Healthy Self-Care for People in Addiction Recovery
• Learn More About God

Relevant eBooks:

• Understanding Substance Abuse
• Understanding a Relationship with God and the Basics of Christianity

Need to talk to someone? Chat with a Hope Coach at TheHopeLine.

This is the Dawson McAllister Podcast, and until next time…Remember you are loved, you are valuable, and God has an amazing plan for your life. – Rachel

My Story Battling Anger

I Put My Son at Risk, I Don’t Deserve a Second Chance

We have another great podcast episode for you. Have you ever been so angry, you did something you regretted…immediately? Anger, when not dealt with, can turn to rage. And when you get to the point of rage, it’s like you are a bottle of soda that’s been vigorously shaken…the pressure inside has to release and so the top blows off. When a person goes into rage mode, it usually ends up lashing out at the people around them.

In this episode, we have Tyler, and he admits what happened when his anger turned into rage. And if you stick with us, you’ll hear the awesome peer-to-peer feedback Tyler received. He received encouragement and advice from 7 people who didn’t condemn him but instead loved on him and shared their wisdom. Let’s hear from Tyler.

It Should Have Never Come to This - Tyler

Tyler: I’ve been so ignorant of my wife’s needs for so long, and she’s finally had enough. It should have never come to what’s it come to. I’ve had this anger inside of me that I’ve just ignored. My 1-year-old son is completely innocent, and I did something that put him at risk.

Dawson: What did you do?

Tyler: I was just frustrated, and I took him up to his room and I threw him on his bed. He didn’t deserve that. No 1-year-old ever deserves that. And my friend told me, “Look, man, you got to tell your wife what you did, or I’m going to tell her, because she needs to know.” And now, she’s leaving me, and I don’t blame her.

Dawson: Did this all happen just recently?

Tyler: Yeah, it just happened in the last couple of weeks, and right now CPS is involved for obvious reasons. They’re considering dropping the case since it was a one-time event, by the grace of God. It could end up a lot more intense with them.

Dawson: Did your wife kick you out of the house?

Tyler: She has kicked me out. I have nowhere to go except to my parent’s house. I can’t even see my kids right now, unless she permits it, and she has to be there.

Dawson: So, you’re asking the question, should you fight for your family? Should you do whatever you could possibly do to win back your family? Or Should you just give up and let her go on because of the mistakes you’ve made.

Tyler: Yes, sir.

Dawson: Should I stay and fight for the family and do whatever I need to do to win back my family? Or should I walk away? It’s just too hard. I screwed up too much. There’s too much shame.

Tyler: I definitely don’t deserve a second chance.

Dawson: Who does? I don’t one person that deserves anything from God, but judgment. He sees your broken heart. It broke his heart for what you did, but he’s got it covered. He loves you and wants what is best for you. Now, does it make it any easier when you try to win her back? No.

Tyler, don’t give up. You’re going to go through a real ride – don’t give up!

Peer to Peer Advice For Tyler:

Should Tyler stay and fight for his family or walk away because of his mistakes? Tyler says he doesn’t deserve a second chance. But, then again, who does? We are going to help Tyler. God allowed him to get caught so he could deal with his rage. Do you have wisdom or encouragement for Tyler? Please comment below!

Christ Will Guide You and Get You Through - Kristen

Kristen: I'm really just calling in to definitely give you good words. I'm not calling in any way to bash you. I definitely think God guided my hand to the phone to call and give you words of hope. You committed to Christ, and you truly give that to him and let him see that you feel bad for what you've done, and it’s truly through Christ. He will guide the path from there for you and get you through it. Even if it is through DHR, or whatever.

Dawson: What are your feelings towards Tyler, as you talk with him?

Kristen: I have feelings of maybe a good vibe. I don't really know. It's definitely a good vibe though.

Dawson: I just hear a lot of grace in your voice, a lot of compassion. After you've been through what you've been through, you could easily be bitter yourself and you're not.

Kristen: I have been through a lot and God’s gotten me through to where I am today.

Follow Through on What You Say You’re Going to Do - Aileen

Aileen: I felt compelled to call because of my past relationship - I have a daughter with my ex-boyfriend. We weren't married, but it was a very stressful relationship. I saw for the first-time emotional abuse. It was nothing physical, but it was emotional. And my daughter was always in between, and she was a baby, and she heard a lot of yelling and screaming since the pregnancy.

So, Tyler, I'm so glad that you decided to call and ask for help because that's when you see that a person's really trying. When I see the man that I was with, he would say things, but the actions wouldn't follow the things that he was saying. So, I just hope that you will… if you decide to fight for your family, which I totally think you should. God gave you a wife, gave you a baby, gave you the opportunities to be a protector, a man… so, you should definitely fight for that. That you follow through with what you say that you're going to do and just give her the time that she needs. Time is going to be on your side. Just give it time and things will get better. Trust me, because he has, I was able to forgive my ex, and we're not in a relationship anymore, but I forgave him, and now we are in better times than we were in the past.

Get with God and Let Him Repair the Issues - Calvin

Calvin: What I have is a bit of experience and, I was struck by the holy spirit when I heard the young man's voice. I could hear the anguish in it and the sorrow and the repentance. You can't fake that. I know from experience. I was not always a stellar husband or a stellar father. And God brought me to my knees in a similar situation… verbally abusive to a young daughter who did not deserve anything of that nature. When I got on my knees and I asked him to help me, things started to work, and it worked on God's time, and it will take time.

I'm here to give you a firsthand account that you can atone, with your heavenly father. And if you don't know him, I urge you to get with him as soon as you can. And then you can begin to let him repair the issues you have been involved with.

The Only Way to Work Through Your Anger Issues is Through the Love of Christ - John

John: I'm going to be real brief Dawson, because my heart really goes out to Tyler, and I've been there. I had a similar situation where I was ready to walk away, and my wife said, “What about the kids?” And that turned my life around. Then I watched the movie, Fireproof, and that movie Dawson really showed me what I needed to do as a man, how to treat my wife. And that's my encouragement to Tyler.

Tyler, the call before this one, where that man was just encouraging you. All I can say is AMEN, because what he shared was exactly what I was going to share. And that the only way that you can get through your anger issues and love another person is through the love of Christ and the only way by doing that is to give your heart to him and allow him to work. And that's my encouragement to you.

If you haven't had a chance to watch the movie, Fireproof, I just encourage you to get it and watch it. It will change your life. Brother, stay with your family. Fight for them. I now have six grandchildren that if I had walked away, I would have never seen, and I praise God for them.

Don’t Let This Stop You From Being a Father - Brian

Brian: Alright, so I just wanted to say to Tyler, that voice in your head that tells you that you should walk away, that you're not worthy, that is that's nothing but shame and guilt talking. I think in that aspect, moving forward with keeping your family is the way to go. Christ wouldn't tell you you're not worthy. God wouldn't say that what you've done is unfixable. Christ has already paid forward in debt the sins that we are going to carry forward.

I greatly encourage you to seek Christian-based counseling and continue having community with the church - that's going to help. We all carry such baggage, so much baggage from our family of origin, that we have to get worked out as an adult and as parents, so we don't pass that down to our children. So that the buck stops with us and that the cycle of abuse and anger doesn't continue to our children. I can understand it – from me, I know how somebody can get there. I've been there. A lot of us have, and we're on the other side now and we're telling you - continue forward. Don't let this stop you from being a father, with Christ on your side, Tyler. I'm praying for you.

The Word Will Set You Free - Carlos

Carlos: I just want to share with Tyler that, first of all, our relationship with God comes first before our relationship with our wife and children. First of all, if, if he's a Christian, he should have never taken this road towards a road of destruction and, spiritually, we really need to be mindful of how we are walking in the Lord. As a child of God and he's a holy God, we must consider walking after the spirit. In Romans chapter eight, it states how we should conduct ourselves and it is the spirit we must live by, because if we live by flesh, well, that's not of God.

“Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires.” (Romans 8:5)

So, as believers, we need to get into the word. Please get into the word, man. It will set you free, bro. And please consider your walk in the Lord, because if it's not solid, you're walking on… the devil’s just toying with you, man. You got it. Believe in, you're going to have to answer to whatever comes as far as the law in Texas, and how they're going to handle your case here. But God is a God of second chances, and he will give you as many as four or five or as many chances you need to get your life right.

God Got Me Out of a Dark Place - Janelle

Janelle: Hi, I just wanted to tell Tyler that I'm so proud of him for coming forward and calling you in and trying to get some direction here. I just want to give a little background info on me. I have three girls. After my first daughter, I was in a really dark place. I had really bad postpartum depression. I started using drugs shortly after. I was around terrible people. The boyfriend that I had at the time was very abusive and it eventually got to the point where CPS was in my life. It got to the point where I wasn't allowed around my daughter at the time. And it got so bad, and I was so lost that I said, “I have to get some help.” And I got on my knees, and I prayed, and I prayed the hardest I've ever prayed in my life. And I asked God for help. And that was the first step for me to get to where I'm at today.

I went to detox and as long as I was doing the next right thing… I had criminal cases as well, God led me out of the destruction. He got me out of that dark place. The devil does not want us happy. He does not want us to be good parents to our children. He does not want us to be in healthy relationships with our significant others, but God does. And that's where we have to turn to him and ask for his direction and guidance. And my life completely changed, when I asked God for help. And I stayed close with him. I just want Tyler to know that he needs to fight for his family and his child, especially.

I wouldn't worry about your relationship too much now. I would love for you to just show your son how much you love him. Don't just say it, just show it and be there on time when you're supposed to. Make memories with him because that is your son. I know eventually you'll get out of this spot, as long as you get close to God.

Don’t Quit!

Dawson: What do you think, Tyler?

Tyler: I appreciate all the wisdom and the hope. I really do.

Dawson: Not a one of them beat you up.

Tyler: No. I wish I could be that understanding with myself.

Dawson: The day will come. Just remember in the world of making memories, as Janell said a second ago, you're making them tonight. We had 7 calls from 7 people, and every one of them said, don't quit. Don't quit, no matter how dark it gets, get on your knees before God, and get around Christian people, as they said. What we're not going to do is quit. That's what Satan wants to do. He wants to blow your family apart. We're just not going to let him do that. I'm going to send you one of my Hope Coaches right now, and our prayers are with you. Let me pray for you.

A Prayer for Tyler

Lord,

Thank you for Tyler and Lord. He's done some bad things; but not so bad that they cannot be redeemed. God, give him sleep tonight. Give him rest. Protect him from the awfulness of shame that Satan’s been banging him over the head with. Give him peace, sleep, and the next right decision, Lord. We're just going to claim right now that he gets that family back and that he will be in time, a transformed man, God's man, that you've brought back from the brink. And may his life be a testimony to others that he will be able to talk to about this very issue of child abuse.

In Christ’s name, we pray, Amen.

Just About Out of Hope

God bless you, Tyler. Do you want to say anything to these people that were so kind to you?

Tyler: I just want to say that I'm appreciative of the hope. I really needed it because I was just about out. I understand that my wife will need time if…

Dawson: You're not thinking about suicide, are you?

Tyler: No, sir.

Dawson: I just had to ask.

Tyler: I can't add one more list on the things that my son would think of.

Dawson: Yeah, you're absolutely right. I'm hopeful, Tyler, very hopeful for you. This is a life-changing moment that you would call like this - shows your willingness to get help and be transformed. Proud of you big time!

Fight for Your Family

What we are hearing every single person say to you Tyler is – to fight for your family. Don’t give up just because you messed up. This is a wake-up call, Tyler, and an opportunity to address your anger and learn how to deal with it. Anyone who’s listened – can hear the regret and sorrow in your voice. You know you messed up. You know you need to deal with your anger. With God’s help, you can address your anger issues and become the husband and father you want to be. As Janell talked about, she was on a road of destruction and in a dark place and God rescued her. God will rescue you, too, Tyler, as you surrender yourself and your anger to Him.

Thank you to all of our peer-to-peer callers for your graciousness, and for sharing your hearts with Tyler and the rest of us. I heard a ton of compassion from all of you and that’s exactly what Tyler needed. You’ll rock! Thanks for being a part of The Dawson McAllister Podcast!

Other Related Podcast Episodes on Anger:

• How to Deal with Anger – EP 23
• How to Find God – EP 32

Resources for Anger Management:

• How to Deal with Anger
• How to Manage Your Anger
• Using Your Anger for Good
• Learn More About God

Relevant eBooks:

• Understanding a Relationship with God and the Basics of Christianity

Need to talk to someone? Chat with a Hope Coach at TheHopeLine.

This is the Dawson McAllister Podcast, and until next time…Remember you are loved, you are valuable, and God has an amazing plan for your life. – Rachel

It's really impossible to know the future, but you can know what your NEXT STEP is going to be.

When you graduate, you're sure to be overwhelmed with heartfelt congratulations, and maybe even fancy little books filled with syrupy platitudes about going after your dreams. While that's all good, I'd like to offer a few words of real practical advice for graduates as you make your way out into the world.

Here are 4 things that I think every graduate needs to know.

Four Pieces of Advice for New Graduates

1. Don't be freaked out if you don't know what you're going to do with your life.

You might be feeling pressure to figure everything out, like some people seem to have done. Like your friend from school who seems to have the path laid out in front of her, without having to worry about a thing. This is very unusual. It's more common for someone to not have any idea what's next. A large majority of people change their major in college, or never even use their major once they graduate from college. Plus, people change jobs all the time. You don't have to lock yourself into one thing you think you're supposed to do for the rest of your life. It's really impossible to know the future, but you can know what your next STEP is going to be.

Trisha wrote: As graduation approaches, I get nervous cause I don't know what I'm going to do. The only thing I know is that I enjoy working with special needs kids, so I'm going to volunteer during the summer and see if I'd like it long-term.

You can aim for making long-term goals, but make sure you start with the ones in front of you. Eventually, short-term STEPS will help get you where you want to go.

2. Don't let outside pressure weigh you down.

After you graduate, you may experience all kinds of pressure, much of which we put on ourselves. Ash wrote: For starters, I don't want to disappoint anyone shame isn't exactly a pleasant feeling. I don't want to screw things up for my future. That's the main thing trying not to screw everything up.

Don't let the weight of that pressure prevent you from making any decision at all.

You may even feel like your parents or teachers are pushing you, too. Most of the time those closest to you just want what's best for you. Sometimes it's easier for someone else to see when we're not doing all we can to make the most of our lives. It's good to get their advice, just don't let all that advice weigh you down.

3. Be bold and courageous.

When you're in high school or college you will often find yourself in a cocoon of security because you know who you are and what you're supposed to do. It's easy, once you graduate, to be gripped with fear and insecurity about what comes next. This is why you need to be bold and courageous. If you have a dream, follow it. Explore all your options. Yes, you are making choices that will affect the rest of your life. That may feel like a huge responsibility, but don't let the weight of that pressure prevent you from making any decision at all.

Adam wrote: Sometimes I get so overwhelmed with all the choices in front of me. I don't know what I want to do. I certainly don't want to pick the wrong thing.

The worst thing you can do is nothing. Jared wrote: It's tempting to want to sit on the couch and watch TV all summer. But in the past, when I was a camp counselor or helped out at my dad's work, I felt better about myself, like I actually counted for something.

And remember, it's the people who find their dream, or their calling for this life, who are the most fulfilled.

4. Be patient with the process.

YOU get to decide what part you'd like to play in the grand story of life.

This is the most important point of all. Transitions are difficult, but you'll make it through. You are on a great journey. It's a very exciting time in your life, even though it's a time of great change in your life. You may be used to defining yourself as a student, and when that's over you may struggle to figure out how to define yourself. That's okay. Tens of thousands of others have gone through the same thing and were able to make the adjustment and end up doing great things with their lives.

Remember, you have the whole world in front of you. You get to decide what part you'd like to play in the grand story of life. God's great plan for your life will unfold over time, and in a way that you won't be able to completely control yourself. Do your best, seek God, and trust that He will lead you, if you let Him.

Jesus said something very powerful in Matthew 6:34 - Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Do your best, seek God, and trust that He will lead you, if you let Him.

Are you having anxiety over starting college? Read how Micah found peace in the midst of her anxiety and worrying.

Have you ever been scared to share your faith? I know I have. Well, that’s what we are going to be talking about in this episode. Our guest today is Ashley. She became a Christian not very long ago, and some of her closest friends don’t know about it and don’t know she was baptized.

It is a huge life change to accept Christ and become a Christian. So, how does she even bring it up to her family and friends? We’re going to delve into that today and ask Ashley’s peers to weigh in and give their best advice. But first, let’s hear from Ashley.

How to Share Faith Despite Fear

I Haven’t Told My Friends I’m Saved and Baptized

I just recently started going to church. It’s strange, but I just had this feeling that I needed to go. I went to church and the people there were very loving and open. It was very scary, but it was amazing. It was one of the best things that ever happened to me.

About a month after I was going, I was attending these classes and going to Sunday school… another feeling I had one day when they had the invitation to come up, I was like, I got to go up there right now. [I accepted Christ!]

So, I’m very new to this, and I don’t know a lot. Obviously, I hadn't read the Bible before.  I still haven’t read the whole thing. But I hear a lot of the time when I'm in Sunday school and in the classes, I’m taking that we’re supposed to share our faith and confess it. And tell everyone is basically what I hear. And I don't know enough to know where that comes from, but I know that it's said a lot. And my life before was very different. The people I was around, my friends, I know how they feel about faith and God, and they're not very open to it. Now, I’ve made friends since I’ve been baptized. I have a lot of friends in the church. But nobody knows that I was baptized. I haven’t been telling people and I feel like I’m doing something wrong…like I should be going out there and just saying it, but I’ve got strong anxiety against it and fear.

I've never felt this way before ever. And I do want to share it. I want everybody to know, because I want them to also be able to feel this way, but it’s nerve-wracking.

Reflection

If God, in His grace did this miracle for you to get saved, why would he not also in his grace help you to talk to others about Christ? The first three words you say to a non-Christian are yours, the rest are God's. You don't have to explain the whole Bible, you just have to tell what happened to you. I know you can do that cause you just did. You don't have to be a theologian to do this. You just let them know what you know. I'm just getting started here because I really think that you need to listen and hear from others to encourage you about this.

Peer to Peer Advice For Ashley:

Ruth, Nick, Nicole, Nancy, and Jace have called in with encouragement and advice for Ashley. Stay tuned to hear what they have to say.

Your Friends Will See a Change in You - Ruth

I was raised in the church. My grandmother went all around the world, preaching the gospel. She's the type of person who could walk up to anybody and tell them about God. And it worked for her. And then you hear the people who say, “Oh, God, bless you. Do you know, if you died today, would you make it to heaven?” …preaching like that. That's not for everybody. And maybe for her, it's just for her to change; especially if she grew up around people who weren't in church. They're going to see a change in her and they're going to ask her what's going on and she can tell them. And the other thing is when you fall in love with Jesus, her best friend, who she loves, she's going to want to tell her eventually. Maybe it's not going to be tonight or tomorrow, but if she keeps praying and asking God for courage, he's going to give that to her if He knows that's what she wants. When he knows she wants to win souls for him, he's going to give it to her. So, I really don't think she should feel bad or anything.

She should surround herself with people who love on her and are good Christians, but otherwise she's just got to wait and keep praying. And her other friends are going to ask her about how she’s changed and then she can tell him if that's how she wants to do it.

Well, she can, she could say to her friends, you and I have been friends for a long time, and I have something that's really real to me and intimate to me that I want to, as a friend, share with you. She's earned that right. What they do with the information is between them and God.  We witness in the power of the holy spirit and leave the results to God.

She could even just invite them to church, something as simple as that.

A True Friend Will Support You - Nick

Hey Ashley, I know we all had different personalities and when we get saved, we grow in the grace and knowledge of the Lord, everyone in their own time, their own pace. But one thing I would say besides that, so just give it time. You draw close to the Lord; you stay faithful to the Lord. You go to church, do the things that you ought to do, and you need to do. God will give you the strength and the grace to do what you need to do with your friends. But what I would also say is that somebody that's a true friend will want to support you, whether they want to be involved or not. They'll support you in things that are important to you. If they don't, then they are not a friend.

Just because she thinks they're friends, they may not really be true friends. They may be partying friends or just godless friends, and she's going to lose some friends.

Are they really your friend then? Right. We're praying for you. God Bless!

Don’t Be Fearful, Be Bold - Nicole

I am just so encouraged by Ashley and her desire to share the gospel with people that she loves and that are in her world and in her life. And I just want to encourage you, Ashley. The Bible talks about us overcoming by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony and your testimony alone holds the gospel of Jesus Christ.

I just really believe that, whether you've been saved 5 days or 50 years, sometimes it can be hard to share the gospel with people because you're fearful of what they may think or how they may respond.

Just to share a quick story with you, I had a friend pass away recently in a car accident and I went home for the funeral. Before I went home, I was just really talking to the Lord about it. It just really shook me and my entire friend circle from back home, my high school friends. I haven't seen them in years.

The Lord said, “Nicole, I'm going to have you share the gospel with your friends and I want you to be ready.”

And I said, “Lord, I just don't. I don't know if I can do it. It's just such a real time for these people. I don't know if I can do it.”

And I heard the Lord say, “Nicole, This life is not even close to the reality that eternity is. And these people, if they died tomorrow in their sin will meet me and they will be spending eternity in heaven or hell, separated from me or with me. And I'm asking you with boldness to go and share the gospel with these people, with your friends, who you love.”

And it just really shined a light on me. And I just want to encourage you that when you're telling people about Jesus and love, another thing God told me is…

I said, “Lord, but what if they don't receive it?”

And he said to me, “Nicole, I didn't call you to worry or carry the burden about whether they receive it or not. I told you to speak truth and love.”

And I was just like, “Whoa.”

He said, “It's not your responsibility if they receive it or not. Leave that to me. You're being led by my spirit.”

And I saw God move in this moment around this bonfire. And people came up to me afterward and it really touched them. And so, I want to encourage you - don't be fearful, be bold! And I know that's easier said than done. We all can deal with fear sometimes in sharing the gospel. But God has not given you a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind, and you are just so on fire for God. I know that you're so hungry to share the gospel with people. So, I just pray for fearlessness and boldness to come upon you and for God to lead you with his Holy Spirit. So, bless you.

God Will Guide You on What to Say - Nancy

I was in the same predicament as you are Ashley. I was in a foreign country. I was a foreign student in a foreign country, and I did not know anything about being a Christian or the word, or anything. But when my twin sister gave me the word, she had been saved a week before me and I didn't know anything. Then at that moment, I realized that I was lost without making that decision for Christ. So, I accepted him. And one of the things that I started learning was baby steps, baby steps.

I kept the word close to me. So, every time I had a question, I would read the word and the words would just pop out of the Bible and quench my heart. The first thing that I noticed is that the Lord said to me, “Even your father and mother will forsake you or anybody for my name. I'm with you always. I will never forsake you.” That's the first lesson that he taught me.

The second lesson was that God will give you the appointed time and appointed words to say whenever you have to say something to someone that you dearly love, or have next to you? You don't have to search for the words, God, through the guidance of the Holy Spirit will tell you what to say and how to say it.

And it's been a thrill knowing Christ. I've been with him for 34 years now, and it's always been a thrill and a blessing. And no matter what happens, know that he's always with you… always, no matter what. He doesn't change. He's always with you, come high or come low. He’ll always be with you, and he'll guide you. He'll let you know how to say things and what to do.

Every Christian Struggles with Fear - Jace

Ashley, I had two points and one was when I was seven years old. I lived in Memphis, Tennessee, and my mom had me at a young age and stuff, so she was out doing what she needed to do. And I had no direction, and I was being bullied by some gang members at one point, well teenagers that were gang members. And it was actually funny because I ran into the church, because I knew they would never go in there. And I ran in the middle of a sermon, and right then and there, the preacher was talking about Jeremiah 29:11, “For I have plans for you says the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans for hope and a future.” And I started telling the pastor what was happening and that's kind of how I came to God.

Dawson: Wait, now that's a story all by itself, running from a gang that was bullying you and chasing you. And you ran into a church and ran into Jesus. He ran into you.

Nobody's 100% knowledgeable of the Bible, but verses Jeremiah 29:11 and also Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

Every Christian has a struggle with fear, it's one of Satan's most powerful tools. And Satan's going to do whatever he can do to try to steer you away. He's going to make you fear. He's going to try and take friends away from you, which I've lost plenty of friends. But if you stay true to Jesus. Also, in the book of Job, Job lost a lot too. But God gave it back to him and more. So, God's always there for you. Always trust in him, pray to him first and stay in that word, and that's how you're going to get through it.

A Prayer for Ashley

God,

Thank you for Ashley, her simple faith, her story, Lord, how you just drew her to yourself. You are a holy magnet, and you draw people to yourself. Thank you that you did that for Ashley and that she's not going back.

She sees the patheticness of her friends' lives, the emptiness, as they marched lockstep to hell. Give her the courage and strength and the wisdom to be bold, Lord. Paul, the great evangelist pleaded with people to pray that he would be bold.

Help Ashley to be bold, to realize she's growing. Set up more divine appointments for her like you did tonight for our show. Only this time there'll be divine appointments with people who were a lot like her, lost as can be, but found in Christ.

In Jesus' name, Amen.

God’s Got You, Ashley

Praise God, what an awesome prayer! Ashley just thanked you guys, but I want to thank you too….Ruth, Nick, Nicole, Nancy, and Jace, our peer-to-peer callers. We are humbled and thrilled at your encouragement for Ashley. 

I love the scriptures Jace shared. From Philippians 4:13, Ashley, “You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.” I also want to share 1 Peter 3:15 from The Message, “Through thick and thin, keep your hearts at attention, in adoration before Christ, your Master. Be ready to speak up and tell anyone who asks why you’re living the way you are, and always with the utmost curtesy.”

As you live your life for Christ, people will see the difference. You can share the hope in Christ you have without preaching or having a sermon ready. You can share God’s love in so many ways… by your example, by being a servant, as Ruth said, by just inviting them to church, and also being there to listen when your friends need you. God opens up opportunities to talk with people about how you have lasting hope, strength and peace from Him.

If you are listening and want to know more about having the peace of God and accepting Him as your Lord and Savior, chat with us. Our Hope Coaches are available every day from 8am – 1am. Chat with us, by just going to: TheHopeLine.com.

Thank you for listening and being a part of this podcast. Take care and remember, God’s got you…you just need to trust him!

Other Related Podcast Episodes:

• How to Find God – EP 32
• Ronnie’s Life Changing Decision – EP 9

Resources on Relationships:

• 18 Bible Verses About Fear – Help When You Feel Afraid
• A Prayer When Struggling with Fear
• Learn More About God

Relevant eBooks:

• Understanding a Relationship with God and the Basics of Christianity

Need to talk to someone? Chat with a Hope Coach at TheHopeLine.

This is the Dawson McAllister Podcast, and until next time…Remember you are loved, you are valuable, and God has an amazing plan for your life. – Rachel