Posts by TheHopeLine Team

Just once wouldn't you love for someone to simply show you the evidence for God's existence? No arm-twisting. No statements of, "You just have to believe." Well, here is an attempt to candidly offer some of the reasons which suggest that God exists.

But first consider this. When it comes to the possibility of God's existence, the Bible says that there are people who have seen sufficient evidence, but they have suppressed the truth about God.¹On the other hand, for those who want to know God if he is there, he says, "You will seek me and find me; when you seek me with all your heart, I will be found by you."² Before you look at the facts surrounding his existence, ask yourself, If God does exist, would I want to know him? Here then, are some reasons to consider...

1. The complexity of our planet points to a deliberate Designer who not only created our universe, but sustains it today.

Many examples showing God's design could be given, possibly with no end. But here are a few:

The Earth...its size is perfect. The Earth's size and corresponding gravity holds a thin layer of mostly nitrogen and oxygen gases, only extending about 50 miles above the Earth's surface. If Earth were smaller, an atmosphere would be impossible, like the planet Mercury. If Earth were larger, its atmosphere would contain free hydrogen, like Jupiter.³ Earth is the only known planet equipped with an atmosphere of the right mixture of gases to sustain plant, animal and human life.

The Earth is located the right distance from the sun. Consider the temperature swings we encounter, roughly -30 degrees to +120 degrees. If the Earth were any further away from the sun, we would all freeze. Any closer and we would burn up. Even a fractional variance in the Earth's position to the sun would make life on Earth impossible. The Earth remains this perfect distance from the sun while it rotates around the sun at a speed of nearly 67,000 mph. It is also rotating on its axis, allowing the entire surface of the Earth to be properly warmed and cooled every day.

And our moon is the perfect size and distance from the Earth for its gravitational pull. The moon creates important ocean tides and movement so ocean waters do not stagnate, and yet our massive oceans are restrained from spilling over across the continents.⁴

Water...colorless, odorless and without taste, and yet no living thing can survive without it. Plants, animals and human beings consist mostly of water (about two-thirds of the human body is water). You'll see why the characteristics of water are uniquely suited to life:

It has wide margin between its boiling point and freezing point. Water allows us to live in an environment of fluctuating temperature changes, while keeping our bodies a steady 98.6 degrees.

Water is a universal solvent. This property of water means that various chemicals, minerals and nutrients can be carried throughout our bodies and into the smallest blood vessels.⁵

Water is also chemically neutral. Without affecting the makeup of the substances it carries, water enables food, medicines and minerals to be absorbed and used by the body.

Water has a unique surface tension. Water in plants can therefore flow upward against gravity, bringing life-giving water and nutrients to the top of even the tallest trees.

Water freezes from the top down and floats, so fish can live in the winter.

Ninety-seven percent of the Earth's water is in the oceans. But on our Earth, there is a system designed which removes salt from the water and then distributes that water throughout the globe. Evaporation takes the ocean waters, leaving the salt, and forms clouds which are easily moved by the wind to disperse water over the land, for vegetation, animals and people. It is a system of purification and supply that sustains life on this planet, a system of recycled and reused water.⁶

The human brain...simultaneously processes an amazing amount of information. Your brain takes in all the colors and objects you see, the temperature around you, the pressure of your feet against the floor, the sounds around you, the dryness of your mouth, even the texture of your keyboard. Your brain holds and processes all your emotions, thoughts and memories. At the same time your brain keeps track of the ongoing functions of your body like your breathing pattern, eyelid movement, hunger and movement of the muscles in your hands.

The human brain processes more than a million messages a second.⁷ Your brain weighs the importance of all this data, filtering out the relatively unimportant. This screening function is what allows you to focus and operate effectively in your world. The brain functions differently than other organs. There is an intelligence to it, the ability to reason, to produce feelings, to dream and plan, to take action, and relate to other people.

The eye...can distinguish among seven million colors. It has automatic focusing and handles an astounding 1.5 million messages -- simultaneously.⁸ Evolution focuses on mutations and changes from and within existing organisms. Yet evolution alone does not fully explain the initial source of the eye or the brain -- the start of living organisms from nonliving matter.

2. The universe had a start - what caused it?

Scientists are convinced that our universe began with one enormous explosion of energy and light, which we now call the Big Bang. This was the singular start to everything that exists: the beginning of the universe, the start of space, and even the initial start of time itself.

Astrophysicist Robert Jastrow, a self-described agnostic, stated, "The seed of everything that has happened in the Universe was planted in that first instant; every star, every planet and every living creature in the Universe came into being as a result of events that were set in motion in the moment of the cosmic explosion...The Universe flashed into being, and we cannot find out what caused that to happen."⁹

Steven Weinberg, a Nobel laureate in Physics, said at the moment of this explosion, "the universe was about a hundred thousands million degrees Centigrade...and the universe was filled with light."¹⁰

The universe has not always existed. It had a start...what caused that? Scientists have no explanation for the sudden explosion of light and matter.

3. The universe operates by uniform laws of nature. Why does it?

Much of life may seem uncertain, but look at what we can count on day after day: gravity remains consistent, a hot cup of coffee left on a counter will get cold, the earth rotates in the same 24 hours, and the speed of light doesn't change -- on earth or in galaxies far from us.

How is it that we can identify laws of nature that never change? Why is the universe so orderly, so reliable?

"The greatest scientists have been struck by how strange this is. There is no logical necessity for a universe that obeys rules, let alone one that abides by the rules of mathematics. This astonishment springs from the recognition that the universe doesn't have to behave this way. It is easy to imagine a universe in which conditions change unpredictably from instant to instant, or even a universe in which things pop in and out of existence."¹¹

Richard Feynman, a Nobel Prize winner for quantum electrodynamics, said, "Why nature is mathematical is a mystery...The fact that there are rules at all is a kind of miracle."¹²

4. The DNA code informs, programs a cell's behavior.

All instruction, all teaching, all training comes with intent. Someone who writes an instruction manual does so with purpose. Did you know that in every cell of our bodies there exists a very detailed instruction code, much like a miniature computer program? As you may know, a computer program is made up of ones and zeros, like this: 110010101011000. The way they are arranged tell the computer program what to do. The DNA code in each of our cells is very similar. It's made up of four chemicals that scientists abbreviate as A, T, G, and C. These are arranged in the human cell like this: CGTGTGACTCGCTCCTGAT and so on. There are three billion of these letters in every human cell!!

Well, just like you can program your phone to beep for specific reasons, DNA instructs the cell. DNA is a three-billion-lettered program telling the cell to act in a certain way. It is a full instruction manual.¹³

Why is this so amazing? One has to ask....how did this information program wind up in each human cell? These are not just chemicals. These are chemicals that instruct, that code in a very detailed way exactly how the person's body should develop.

Natural, biological causes are completely lacking as an explanation when programmed information is involved. You cannot find instruction, precise information like this, without someone intentionally constructing it.

5. We know God exists because he pursues us. He is constantly initiating and seeking for us to come to him.

I was an atheist at one time. And like many atheists, the issue of people believing in God bothered me greatly. What is it about atheists that we would spend so much time, attention, and energy refuting something that we don't believe even exists?! What causes us to do that? When I was an atheist, I attributed my intentions as caring for those poor, delusional people...to help them realize their hope was completely ill-founded. To be honest, I also had another motive. As I challenged those who believed in God, I was deeply curious to see if they could convince me otherwise. Part of my quest was to become free from the question of God. If I could conclusively prove to believers that they were wrong, then the issue is off the table, and I would be free to go about my life.

I didn't realize that the reason the topic of God weighed so heavily on my mind, was because God was pressing the issue. I have come to find out that God wants to be known. He created us with the intention that we would know him. He has surrounded us with evidence of himself and he keeps the question of his existence squarely before us. It was as if I couldn't escape thinking about the possibility of God. In fact, the day I chose to acknowledge God's existence, my prayer began with, "Ok, you win..." It might be that the underlying reason atheists are bothered by people believing in God is because God is actively pursuing them.

I am not the only one who has experienced this. Malcolm Muggeridge, socialist and philosophical author, wrote, "I had a notion that somehow, besides questing, I was being pursued." C.S. Lewis said he remembered, "...night after night, feeling whenever my mind lifted even for a second from my work, the steady, unrelenting approach of Him whom I so earnestly desired not to meet. I gave in, and admitted that God was God, and knelt and prayed: perhaps, that night, the most dejected and reluctant convert in all of England."

Lewis went on to write a book titled, "Surprised by Joy" as a result of knowing God. I too had no expectations other than rightfully admitting God's existence. Yet over the following several months, I became amazed by his love for me.

6. Unlike any other revelation of God, Jesus Christ is the clearest, most specific picture of God revealing himself to us.

Why Jesus? Look throughout the major world religions and you'll find that Buddha, Muhammad, Confucius and Moses all identified themselves as teachers or prophets. None of them ever claimed to be equal to God. Surprisingly, Jesus did. That is what sets Jesus apart from all the others. He said God exists and you're looking at him. Though he talked about his Father in heaven, it was not from the position of separation, but of very close union, unique to all humankind. Jesus said that anyone who had seen Him had seen the Father, anyone who believed in him, believed in the Father.

He said, "I am the light of the world, he who follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."¹⁴ He claimed attributes belonging only to God: to be able to forgive people of their sin, free them from habits of sin, give people a more abundant life and give them eternal life in heaven. Unlike other teachers who focused people on their words, Jesus pointed people to himself. He did not say, "follow my words and you will find truth." He said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life, no one comes to the Father but through me."¹⁵

What proof did Jesus give for claiming to be divine? He did what people can't do. Jesus performed miracles. He healed people...blind, crippled, deaf, even raised a couple of people from the dead. He had power over objects...created food out of thin air, enough to feed crowds of several thousand people. He performed miracles over nature...walked on top of a lake, commanding a raging storm to stop for some friends. People everywhere followed Jesus, because he constantly met their needs, doing the miraculous. He said if you do not want to believe what I'm telling you, you should at least believe in me based on the miracles you're seeing.¹⁶

Jesus Christ showed God to be gentle, loving, aware of our self-centeredness and shortcomings, yet deeply wanting a relationship with us. Jesus revealed that although he views us as sinners, worthy of his punishment, his love for us ruled and he came up with a different plan. God himself took on the form of man and accepted the punishment for our sin on our behalf. Sounds ludicrous?

Perhaps, but many loving fathers would gladly trade places with their child in a cancer ward if they could. The Bible says that the reason we would love God is because he first loved us.

Jesus died in our place so we could be forgiven. Of all the religions known to humanity, only through Jesus will you see God reaching toward humanity, providing a way for us to have a relationship with him. Jesus proves a divine heart of love, meeting our needs, drawing us to himself. Because of Jesus' death and resurrection, he offers us a new life today. We can be forgiven, fully accepted by God and genuinely loved by God. He says, "I have loved you with an everlasting love, therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you."¹⁷ This is God, in action.

Does God exist? If you want to know, investigate Jesus Christ. We're told that "God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life."¹⁸

God does not force us to believe in him, though he could. Instead, he has provided sufficient proof of his existence for us to willingly respond to him. The earth's perfect distance from the sun, the unique chemical properties of water, the human brain, DNA, the number of people who attest to knowing God, the gnawing in our hearts and minds to determine if God is there, the willingness for God to be known through Jesus Christ. If you need to know more about Jesus and reasons to believe in him, please see: Beyond Blind Faith.

If you want to begin a relationship with God now, you can.

This is your decision, no coercion here. But if you want to be forgiven by God and come into a relationship with him, you can do so right now by asking him to forgive you and come into your life. Jesus said, "Behold, I stand at the door [of your heart] and knock. He who hears my voice and opens the door, I will come into him [or her]."¹⁹ If you want to do this, but aren't sure how to put it into words, this may help: "Jesus, thank you for dying for my sins. You know my life and that I need to be forgiven. I ask you to forgive me right now and come into my life. I want to know you in a real way. Come into my life now. Thank you that you wanted a relationship with me. Amen."

God views your relationship with him as permanent. Referring to all those who believe in him, Jesus Christ said of us, "I know them, and they follow me; and I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish, and no one shall snatch them out of my hand."²⁰

Looking at all these facts, one can conclude that a loving God does exist and can be known in an intimate, personal way.

Further questions about God? Please see, EveryStudent.com

If you have asked God into your heart please visit: Starting With God

I am the mother of a 34-year-old son who is an addict and a felon. He has been in more rehabs and diversion programs than I can count. He has lived on the streets, been an absconder, and is presently incarcerated for the 9th time.

Life as a Mother of an Addict

My son has put my life and the life of his disabled brother in danger so many times when he was dealing drugs that I had to move. I've paid off drug dealers. Once I met a gang member’s mom in a parking lot to pay my son's prison debts so he wouldn’t be killed or badly injured. I picked him up at the hospital on Mother’s Day after one of his many overdoses. I bought him cars that he sold for drug money. And brand-new furniture for when he got out of prison only to have him go back in a couple of months later.

God is Calling Me

My life for the last 20 years has been one of pain, shame, brokenness, disappointment, fear, and heartache. But my journey isn’t over, and I believe God is calling me to use this pain for His glory and to start a ministry for moms of imprisoned children...Imprisoned to drugs, alcohol, the correctional system or whatever chains control them.

My Emotional Extremes

Throughout the ups and downs of this nightmare, I have felt every emotion humanly possible.

I’ve walked in unconditional love, practiced tough love and been so angry at him, that I wasn’t walking in love at all.

There were weeks where I created posters and walked the streets trying to find him and there were months that I wouldn’t answer the door for him.

I’ve written the judge letters asking for leniency and I’ve helped the DA stack charges on him.

I’ve put money on his books every month for one prison stint and blocked his phone calls and refused to speak to him the next stint.

I’ve hidden him from the police, and I’ve turned him into the police.

I put him into rehabs, and I’ve pulled him out of them.

I’ve lied to him, for him, and about him.

I tried everything in the world to fix him and save him and other times I threw in the towel and let him live his consequences.

I’ve spent unending hours praying for healing and deliverance and I’ve asked God to take him home so he could be out of his misery, or maybe so I could be out of mine.

A Ministry for Moms Like Me

My story is raw and sadly relatable, and I obviously don’t have a lot of answers, but I know the God who does, and I have faith that He has me and my son cradled in His hand and is working all of this for His good. I grew up in surrounded by ministry and have had a call on my life since I was a teenager. I thought that Satan had robbed me of that ministry, but now I have peace and confidence that God is going to use my situation for great ministry even though it looks different than I imagined.  My ministry is to to bring hope and healing to others like me ...moms out there in need.

I'm just getting started but the vision God has given me is to use this ministry to create:
· Retreats where Moms receive fellowship, encouragement, inspirational messages and healing. Also, a time of restoration through relaxation, yoga, hiking, meditation, prayer, and worship.
· Regional conferences for moms who are hurting, ashamed, lonely, bitter, sad and hopeless, where they can find support and know they are not alone. Where they can discover healing, peace and a renewed hope for their future.
· Camps for grandchildren affected by this pain. As well as resources to help with their school supplies, clothing and even court costs to protect them.
· A book that shares our stories for the benefit of others.
I would appreciate your prayers for God to use this ministry for HIS glory. Thank you for what you do to restore faith in moms like me!
~ Brenda

What gives Brenda hope despite such an overwhelming situation with her son?  It is her faith that God holds it all in his loving hands and a purpose for it beyond her pain. If you would like to learn more about finding this hope, please download this free mini eBook - Understanding Hope.

I am nearly 36 years old, and I’ve only been asked out twice. The first was a deaf, divorced man 22 years my senior. The second, though only 15 years older, was also divorced and wanted a mother for his children. He asked me out via email, which he obtained through a mutual friend; I’d never even spoken to him in person.

Apparently, I was only attractive to much older men, desperate for any type of female companionship. At least, that was how I felt. Demoralizing, to say the least.

Still Single...What's Wrong with Me?

I used to wonder which of my flaws made me so undesirable. At first, I thought it was my weight. So, I went on a crazy diet and lost about 75 pounds. People noted the weight loss, but I still didn’t catch anyone’s attention in a romantic sort of way.

That meant the problem ran deeper. There had to be something wrong with me on an emotional level. My personality had to be lacking in some way. I was too loud, too pushy, too tough. But I couldn’t bring myself to be more girly or to wear clothes I didn’t like or flirt and flutter my eyelids. If I needed to be someone, I wasn’t just so a guy would find me attractive, I didn’t want to do it.

So, I gave up.

I told myself it didn’t matter, that it didn’t hurt, that I didn’t feel left out or passed over or ignored. But realizing that you’re not wanted is a difficult and painful thing to grasp.

In this culture, we all expect to find a soulmate. Maybe in recent decades that expectation has changed shapes a bit, but somewhere in our minds, we still yearn for it. It’s one of the deepest, most desperate desires of our hearts — to be wanted, to be loved, to be seen. And it doesn’t matter how tough a princess you are. Part of you still wants a knight in shining armor to sweep you off your feet.

So Where Does That Leave Us?

If you’re single, you understand the paralyzing fear of being the only one in the room without a date. You feel other people judging you in every glance. It’s enough to lock yourself away and never show your face again. That leaves many of us desperate. The need to be in a relationship can drive us to do absurd things, just so that we can change our social media status.

But if your desire for a spouse is the result of peer pressure or a perceived lack of self-worth, you’re heading for frustration and failure.

Hey, if you’re looking for someone to tell you that Prince Charming will make everything better, you’re reading the wrong article.

Single men and women today don’t need more fairytales. What we need is straight talk about where we get our identity.

The truth is you may never find that one special person the romance novels and Hallmark movies talk about. You may be single for the rest of your life. Are you OK with that? If you aren’t, it’s time to take a good, long look at where you find your personal value.

I’ve had too many friends who needed a boyfriend or girlfriend to complete their lives. I’ve watched these beloved friends throw themselves at every person (available or otherwise), just so that they could have the pleasure of saying they were in a relationship.

No matter how much damage that relationship did to them, they needed it. Like a drug. Like they weren’t whole unless they had a significant other.

But a relationship where one person finds his or her value in another person is doomed to fail. This is the truth no one wants to talk about. A successful relationship isn’t a 50/50 effort. If you want success in your relationship, each partner must put in 100 percent. Then, and only then, will you even have a chance of succeeding.

Instead, a man looks to a woman to complete his picture of himself. A woman looks to a man to make her feel worthy and loved. Neither are whole on their own. And then, when one of them (inevitably) fails to fulfill expectations, the relationship falls apart.

First, learn to be You

Learn to be you, whole and complete and content, before you try to build a life with someone else.

If you want a healthy relationship, know who you are and embrace it. Don’t change yourself to make someone else happy. Don’t live someone else’s story. Be YOU — the unique, special, marvelously created person you are — and don’t look to another person for your worth.

If having a relationship means being someone you’re not, it’s not time yet. Keep waiting. Ironically, that same truth will help you navigate your friendships too.

I love being single. I travel. I get to go places and do things for other people that I wouldn’t be free to do if I were married. And I’m not lonely. Not anymore, because I have friends — single and married — who invest in my life and who know the authentic me.

The real you are beautiful, so don’t be afraid to let that person show. Surround yourself with people who love you — not for what you can do for them, but because they know who you truly are. True, deep, authentic friendships supersede your marital status. Be friends with those people. Seek out mentors among friends like that.

One day, if it’s supposed to happen, you’ll meet the person you’ve been waiting for. He or she will be the piece of your life you didn’t know was missing. And by that time, you’ll know 100 percent who you are. You won’t have to try to impress anyone. You’ll just be yourself, and that’s all you’ll need.

Are you single too, but not loving it? Do you struggle with why Mr. Right hasn’t knocked on your door. Read, Finding the Right Guy.

Used with permission of Power to Change. Originally published at issuesiface.com.

I'm Dewinsar and I'm 19. Every day after going to school, I just sit in my room doing nothing. I wonder why I'm still going to school. No one wants me there. They hate me and say that I'm not wanted. They push me away like I'm a monster. Sometimes I can convince myself that I'm not really alive. It's like a nightmare, but I just can't wake up.

I Really Hated Myself

I feel suicidal every day. I really hated myself because of the way I look. I've become crazy with my thoughts. Some days I cry because of the load of shame and hate. Other days I giggle without reason. My hobby is writing. I love to write so much, but now I can't write anymore. I don't know why. I'm trying, but I have a hard time focusing. I haven't written in almost 4 months.

Now I Know I'm Not Alone

I needed someone. I really needed a friend who knows what I feel. So, I found this site.  Now I know I'm not alone. I read all of your stories and they make me feel better because I'm not alone, you know? I have the same scars, like you. I have the same pain, like you. So, I'm so thankful to you because you are still alive. Your stories help.
-Dewinsar

From TheHopeLine...

No matter how others feel about you or how you feel about yourself, you are loved and accepted by God! Once you have accepted Jesus Christ into your life you can never be separated from the love of God. You will find grace and mercy in Him in times of need. You are significant and worthy and Jesus' chosen friend.

You too are not alone!  Like, Dewinsar, you can read stories here - Stories List. And then take a moment to share your own story to encourage others - Share Your Story.

And if you need to talk to someone, you can chat with a HopeCoach any evening here - Get Help.

When I was in my late teens, my oldest brother PJ—short for Paul Jr.—passed away from leukemia at the age of 23. My life was forever altered. The “normal” I had known up to this point was gone and I, along with my family, was going to have to endure the pain and heartache of this loss. I had to learn how to navigate life with this “new normal.” Sadly, this took me close to eleven years to find as I carried guilt, shame, and a spirit of grief with me like a bad accessory.

The Enemy Lies

I had the honor and privilege of being my brother’s stem cell donor three times, and each time it didn’t last long. Immediately following the loss of my brother, the enemy planted a lie that I made an agreement with. The lie was, This is your fault. You killed him. So, in my head, in my grieving, I believed this lie to be the truth. I lived in this for years and believed this to be true until a revelation from God spoke to my heart one day.

He led me to Psalm 30:11 (NLT), which says, You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy.

God Can Lift Your Grief

The Lord gently showed me that I had been living in mourning and had a spirit of grief over me, and He tenderly spoke to my heart about how He wanted to bring my joy back. The joy the enemy had taken with this lie, my Abba Father wanted to give back to me in full and in abundance. When I confessed that I had believed this lie, and as I walked through the process of repentance and forgiveness, the heaviness of grief and mourning lifted. I was finally able to lift my head above the clouds and see the sun shining once again. The darkness had been lifted, and the light was shining through. Of course, there are still moments and days that are harder than others, but now, instead of turning towards isolation, I turn to God’s truth and other tools to help me in those moments. I also cling to the promise that I will see my brother again in heaven and that my journey through grief and loss can help others through theirs.

Experience Freedom from Sorrow

What lie have you been believing that Jesus needs to speak His truth over today? What hurts in your heart do your Abba Father need to heal with His tender love and mercies? Allow the Holy Spirit to comfort you and to speak His truth over you. Be reminded of the goodness and faithfulness of the Lord. When you feel like you are at the deepest point of your sorrow and pain, call out to the heavens, call out from the depth of your soul to your Heavenly Father, and He will pull you out. Be reminded of His love. Take off the clothes of mourning and receive His joy; it fits and looks so much better on you anyway.

Are you struggling with grief and guilt? Read Jordan Zehr's story, The End of My Grieving Process. 

This article was originally posted at, Mercy Multiplied

Have you ever really blown it?  Like really blown it…

Did you find it difficult to move on from that, even after you’ve confessed and repented before God and with whomever you may have offended?  Does it haunt you at night and follow you throughout the day?

The Shame of Past Guilt

Sometimes, it seems impossible to shake the guilt of the past.  How could you ever overcome that persistent, condemning voice? Maybe you’ve heard people say that you need to forgive yourself, but how do you ever make it actually work long-term?  On the other hand, maybe you don’t find yourself so eager to break away from these shaming echos. Does it, perhaps, feel like it would be wrong to shake off what you’ve done because that would deny the seriousness of it?

If you want to be free from shame, but can’t figure out how to forgive yourself, then I’d like to point you to Someone big enough to bring that lasting change into your heart and life.  And if you find it hard to understand how moving forward without the guilt is truly what honors God, then again, I’d like to ask you to consider a bit about how His grace and forgiveness works in your life.

Take a moment to soak up these beautiful words about Him…

“The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.” – Psalm 103:8-12

Do You Hate Yourself?

For you to hate yourself, punish yourself, or constantly carry around the weight of what you’ve done wrong is to say that you are above God.  Why? Because on the cross Jesus took upon Himself all the evil, and the ugliness, and the punishment of your sin, so now God looks at you and He says, “Forgiven,” and He does not hold anything you have done or will do against you anymore.  If you keep holding those things against yourself after He – the Lord of the universe – has said that debt is canceled, then you are valuing your own words and thoughts above His. You are acting as if you know better than God does.

That is the key to living in lasting freedom from the memories of your sin.  You can’t “forgive yourself,” as in to make a declaration over yourself and your sin that will have some altering impact on your identity or the world at large.  What you need to do is submit to the word that God has already spoken over you in Jesus.

“God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” – 2 Corinthians 5:21

You Are Acceptable to God

Your words can’t change your identity or you're standing before God.  So, if God has declared you righteous, stop arguing with Him! You can’t win!  You can’t make yourself dirty again when He has cleaned you, and there is absolutely nothing good that comes from trying to do that.  It may feel “holy” to acknowledge the endless weight of your sin, but if you ever let that weight become weightier than Jesus Christ Himself and what He accomplished through His death and resurrection, then you’ve totally missed the most important thing in the universe – and the very source and essence of what has made you acceptable to a holy God!

The author of Hebrews talks about Jesus being this source in detail.  He walks through the way that Jesus came to do the will of God: setting aside the rituals of the law to provide covering for people’s sins and making Himself the all-sufficient final sacrifice to purify God’s people, in which he says, “And by that will, we have been made holy through the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ once for all.” (Hebrews 10:10)

He has Defeated Your Shame

You don’t have to overpower the shame that comes to beat you up.  Just hide yourself in One who already defeated it. Look to Jesus and believe that no one else’s words are bigger than His.  Yours aren’t more powerful, your family's isn’t more powerful, even Satan and the demons aren’t more powerful than Him, so who is there that can rightfully accuse you?

“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you a free from the law of sin and death. . . . What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us.” – Romans 8:1-2, 31-34

Believe in God's Love and Power

Further, why would it ever be God’s desire for you to live a life that downplays the most glorious display of His love and power on the cross? What honors Him is for you to believe it so much, that you don’t have to hide or negate your sin, but you also don’t let your sin continue to boss you around.

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life and have it to the full.  I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.” – John 10:10-11
This is the life He wants for you, and you can walk in it!

~ Amanda. Her hope is that by sharing her own story and the truths God has shown her, others might not feel so alone on their own journeys and can also find help in these truths.   This passion grew from seeing how God freed her from the struggles that she felt so trapped in and redeemed the brokenness that she once thought could only be hidden at best. 

Do you find yourself resenting or struggling with accepting God's love? Read Cassidy's story of healing and redemption.

Last spring, during the annual rite of my birthday celebration, I was enjoying my favorite Italian dinner with dear family and friends. Yet as I was blowing out the candles, I felt a disquieting unease. The tension was much deeper than the growing awareness of new wrinkles around my hazel eyes. Suddenly, clarity came, casting a shadow over the gathering. Years had passed since I visited the cemetery or observed a grief anniversary. So it was a shock to realize that I am now the mid-life age my father had been when he died by suicide. This waypost has intense meaning and even brings a personal reckoning.

Emotional Milestone

Memories of my father came pressing in, and the echo of his act resonated deeply. Going back in time, at my dad’s funeral, I prayed for his divine protection. I lingered over Psalm 121 asking spiritual grace for myself. My first meditations offered little or no peace. But over time, solace and acceptance began to prevail.

Still, emotional closure can be fleeting and elusive, particularly for children of parents who complete suicide. Now, unexpectedly, once again I feel lost, unmoored, and anxious. I contemplate ways in which we are alike. We have some similar strengths to celebrate as well as fragilities that leave me feeling vulnerable. How can I process this emotional milestone? In this arduous, taxing year, I will strive to retrieve the gifts that he shared with me as a young father.

From a Vibrant Life to Running on Empty

In my office, I keep a collection of old passports and mementos that are links to both physical and emotional journeys in my life.

My very first passport provides a springboard for reconciling meditation. Inside I find a faded photo of my younger self smiling back through time. My name, the feminine version of my dad’s name Stephen, legally documents my identity. I’ve always thought that in sharing his name he wanted to continuously remind me of his early, vibrant world view.

When I was a kid, he loomed as a magical life coach who believed that life could always be rich and extraordinary. My dad created a psychological vision board with encouraging mantras for my sister and me to follow. He collected wise quotes and shared life-affirming poetry with us.

In the end, my dad had difficulty living out the vision board he created as chronic depression took hold. As my father grew older, he related to the hit song, Running on Empty, by Jackson Browne. He identified with lyrics that expressed burnout and futility.

After he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, his vision board was cluttered with endless prescriptions and bar tabs that spiraled when he couldn’t find relief in the medications. Sadly, his psychological toolbox didn’t include talk therapy. Sharing with a professional counselor could have made a critical difference.

Different Journeys

As his psychological condition worsened, we adjusted to a new normal, moving quietly through the house while dad slept. The routines that accommodated depression became safe and familiar. Yet my bright and resourceful dad held hope of reclaiming stability, so he consulted with doctors about electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) treatments or shock therapy. While he was awaiting the recommended treatments, I went to the post office to apply for that first passport. At the time, my parents were pushing me to explore European history and to venture beyond the claustrophobic confines of his depression. A photographer snapped my passport picture and asked where I was traveling. “France, on a class trip,” I replied with a fragile smile. Though I didn’t admit it, I worried about leaving home.

Before leaving for France, I tapped on his bedroom door to say goodbye. I promised to send postcards, one each day of the trip, and he pledged to walk outside and collect them from the mailbox. Our journeys then were vastly different; his focus on an inner journey, mine on the outside world. While my guidebooks had bright exciting photos, my dad kept a grim metaphorical travel guide of his own on his nightstand. Instead of highlighting enchanting palaces, his booklet described the ECT treatment and mapped the pathways of electrical impulses through the brain. The treatment would force seizures that mysteriously could lead to stability.

Soon, with bags in tow, it was time to go. Mom took me to the airport and left me in my high school French teacher’s care.

Mingling there, not quite fitting in, I didn’t feel any real connection to my older travel mates, who had already graduated and were engaged in giddy conversations about starting college. As the plane took off, I wondered, Why do I have to take this trip? And why now?

A Gift from My Dad

After arriving in Paris, I struggled to keep up with my ebullient teacher as she sprinted down the Rue de Rivoli in Paris. Each evening, I filled postcards with carefree messages: “Mrs. DeWeese let us drink wine and I smiled back at the Mona Lisa!!” But I wondered if the treatment was working and if my dad still slept most of the day.

Yet I was 16, immersed in a place of wonder. The beauty of the wide Parisian boulevards took my breath away. My intellectual curiosity was piqued, and even rudimentary French helped me to navigate the culture. Caught in a rainstorm while picnicking at Jardin du Luxembourg, my schoolmates and I laughed as we streaked through the park to a sheltering gazebo. A new, rich world was discovered. One day late in the trip, I didn’t think of home at all. While boarding the plane for the return flight, I realized that I had forgotten to send my dad’s final postcard.

With this reflection, I close the passport stamped with official evidence of my physical journeys and end my meditation. Here lies a memory of my dad and one of the gifts of his wisdom that will sustain and guide me in the future.

Never Forget

Through the years, he experienced seasons of vitality, but he had difficulty managing the highs and lows of his illness. There may have been other elements to his pain: his distant, commanding mother or doubts about his own value and importance. Fortunately, treatments and medications have improved, and increased awareness of mental health issues prompts more people to seek help today.

I may always carry haunting questions with me. But there is one certainty: my dad never wanted my journey to end in darkness. After all, he signed the check that paid for my trip. If I were to write that last postcard now, I would thank him profusely for a gift that exposed me to a wider, vibrant world. In French, “ne jamais oublier” means never to forget. No, I haven’t forgotten my real inheritance.

If you or someone you love needs to talk, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

More About Stephanie...

Stephanie Painter works as a freelance writer and has written a children's picture book. Her articles have been published in parenting magazines, newspapers, and trade journals. She has a master's degree in Counseling and works as a behavioral health consultant in integrated behavioral health.

From TheHopeLine...

Stephanie mentions Psalm 121 as a source of comfort for her after the loss of her dad...

"I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth." (Psalm 121:1-2)

Even when times are dark, God is right there ready to help us when we ask.  After sin entered the world, God never promised us that life on earth would be easy, but he did promise NEVER to leave us or abandon us.  He did promise to HEAL the broken-hearted. We ask you to consider turning to God now.

If you are a survivor of suicide loss searching for answers read,  Why do People End Their Life by Suicide?

If you or a friend need support right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, for free confidential, 24/7 help. Head here for a list of crisis centers around the world. For additional help, please visit the suicide prevention resource page.

My Journey of Facing Incurable Cancer

I’ll never forget that late afternoon phone call from my doctor.

I thought he was going to tell me that the MRI revealed a disc injury in my back. Instead, he told me I had cancer.

The news was jolting, disturbing and dark. I was the least likely candidate to get such a call, or so I thought.

My life was humming. I had an amazing wife and was a new father of a beautiful daughter. I was young and healthy, living in Colorado and working my dream job: taking college students on outdoor adventures each week.

That summer I had competed in a series of triathlon races for fun. Even against a competitive field—including some pro athletes—I found myself on the podium for my age group in each race. It only underscored my seemingly robust health.

The back pain came out of nowhere—a mystery ailment with no definitive cause. Suddenly I went from being the healthy guy, to one with crippling back pain. And then after my diagnosis, to someone with incurable stage IV cancer.

Doctors told me I literally only had a year to live.

My new reality

I’m sure I’m not the only one who has faced such a dramatic health reversal. It’s quite a shock to adjust to the perception of being healthy to suddenly one of being sick.

The reality is that everybody’s life is fragile—everyone’s life can change on a dime—but we like to act as though we will live forever.

An unexpected diagnosis, whether its cancer, a heart condition or something else, yanks us into the reality of our fragility: that our lives are not as certain as we once thought.

These ailments do not respect age. While something like cancer most commonly affects older people, the numbers among the young are rising. In the United States, more than 70,000 people ages 15-39 are diagnosed with cancer each year, according to the National Cancer Institute. In 2018, an estimated 10,590 children ages 0-14 will also be diagnosed with cancer.

The cause of these problems is complex like lifestyle, genetics and environment. But other times it’s not so easy to explain. Sometimes suffering just happens, and there is no clear explanation of why.

I wrestled with the “why” question for a long time. I still don’t have a clear answer about it. For many, this question brings them to deep despair or even anger. There is no wrong response, but none of these emotions are a great place to stay. As I soon found out in my own journey, the only productive place to dwell is in hope.

Learning about Hope

For me, one of the toughest things about facing cancer was how it threatened my hope.

Before cancer, I thought hope was abstract or wishy-washy, something that looks good on a bumper sticker or as part of a charity name, but ultimately lacks any real substance. Yet now I understand its true vitality. Hope is the belief of a good outcome, one that continues to drive us and move us toward a goal despite opposing forces that may scream the opposite.

I soon learned a truth about hope: the absence of it reveals how vital it is. In other words, when your hope is threatened, you begin to realize how important it is. You realize that hope gives you the energy to face present difficulties and an expectation of good for the future.

As someone who has a relationship with God, I would say I have always had a strong source of hope. In fact, one of my favorite verses literally says, “as for me I will always have hope.” Though, cancer has tested mine in ways I never imagined.

Some of the places I had previously relied on for hope, such as a healthy body, money or career, could do little for me against incurable cancer. These things I mentioned are not bad in themselves, but when push came to shove, they couldn’t help me much.

In the darkest of days, I found a powerful hope through my relationship with God. Here are some realities that helped me:

• God loves me perfectly, no matter what happens to me.
• God is in control of my life and has power over every circumstance, even cancer.
• God would never leave me and I would not have to face this suffering alone.
• God will guide my life, even amidst an uncertain future.
• God will take care of my family, even if I’m not around to care for them.
• When I die, I will spend eternity with God

These realities helped me face the worst-case scenario—and even find a measure of peace.

However, the worst-case scenario did not end up being my reality.

Successful Treatment

In April of 2016, I met with a cancer research doctor who said something that the two previous oncologists did not say: “I know how to treat this.”

I was stunned by the news. Also, skeptical. But what he said proved no moonshot. Within a few months of my targeted treatment, my scan revealed my tumors were blackened and dying. Several months later, my cancer was in full remission (No Evidence of Disease).

It was pretty powerful to find hope through the medical world. I have come to see my treatment as an extension of God’s hope for me.

On that note, I believe that today there is more reason for medical hope than ever before. Especially in the cancer world, breakthroughs are accelerating at an unprecedented rate. People who were previously told to go home and die are now achieving remission. And it’s not just cancer care that is seeing this revolution—but many other parts of healthcare, too. I encourage you to investigate your medical options. If a breakthrough doesn’t exist for your condition today, it very well could tomorrow.

How hope has changed my life

Three years after my diagnosis, I am still doing well. I face threats, but I am living in hope.

A lot of my life has returned to normal. A year after my diagnosis, I started rock climbing again. I’ve also returned to skiing and biking, too. My body does not feel as strong as it once was, but then again it is amazing how quickly I’ve recovered and adapted.

Most days I just feel a profound sense of gratitude—a level I doubt I would know apart from cancer. I am thankful for each day that I have, especially with my wife and daughter.

And even if the worst happens, because of my faith, I will always have hope. This hope is undefeatable because nothing can take this away (for more on what I mean, see #7 below).

I have become passionate about helping others find hope, too. Because I have been awakened to the reality of how vital hope is for those who suffer. In the spring of 2018, I started a nonprofit called Hope Has Arrived. The purpose of this organization is to help people find hope, strength and peace against cancer.

I am excited about this venture as I seek to help others benefit from my journey, even if only in a small way.

How to find hope despite your medical crisis

I realize that many people reading this might be facing his or her own health crisis, whether it’s cancer or something else. Or perhaps you support or care for someone who is. Regardless, I wanted to offer a few thoughts about finding hope on this journey. I believe these relate to any health crisis.

1. Your medical diagnosis does not define you. Don’t wear it around your neck. This is not your identity.  While this health issue might be part of your story, it is not your entire story, nor should it ever be.

2. Let go of why. I realize this very difficult to do, but I think it is an important part of living in hope. It’s ok to grieve and lament that this crisis has happened to you, but you likely will never find out why—at least on this side of things. Someday you may be able to see some good that has happened as a result, but even that is an over-simplistic reason for why it happened.

3. Choose to live in hope. Living in hope is a choice. Your emotions are something that you have control over. If you want to stew on the worst-case scenario, you certainly can. If you want to google all of the worst things that could happen to you as a result of your health issue, I’m sure you could. But I would not recommend it. Instead, you must set your mind on the fact that you will choose to live in hope.

4. Help spread hope to others. Hope is contagious, just like some negative pitfalls, like fear. I guarantee you are not the only one who needs hope. Ask other people you know who are facing a crisis. What gives you hope? As your friend, how can I be someone who helps you live in hope?

5. Be good to yourself. It is good to live in reality. Facing a medical crisis can be tough, and there are certain realities such as having reduced energy and capacity during treatment. You should give yourself the space to be where you are at—if you are tired, then be tired. If you have energy on a particular day, then use it. Either way, living within your limits is a good thing. Don’t be afraid to let people help you.

6. Realize that your caregivers and supporters need hope, too. It’s not just difficult being the person facing the health issue, it’s also hard for those who support them. My battle with cancer has not just been mine, but also my wife’s (and my daughter, too). She has faced it with me, come to infusions, appointments and prayed regularly with me. This journey has not just taken a toll on me, but her as well. As I became aware of this, I have endeavored to support her, too, and to push her to spend time with others who are life-giving to her and to do things that are life-giving.

7. Seek the undefeatable hope. As I have mentioned, there are a lot of good things that give us hope, but they often fail us sooner or later. Yet, there is one hope I have found to be undefeatable: a relationship with God. This is a source of hope that has profoundly carried me through this journey more than anything else. Facing a health crisis is a great time to look outside of yourself for the help that God can offer. For more about this, check out the Finding God section on my website.

More about Chris…

Chris is the founder of Hope Has Arrived. Besides being a writer and blogger, he also is an avid rock climber, skier and mountain biker. He is married and has a daughter.

He also wrote the Pathway to Hope, which is a 7-day email series designed to help people facing cancer find hope.

Here’s the paradox: the more you pursue happiness, the more you start feeling unhappy.

Happiness: everyone wants it in their lives, everyone is looking for it, and yet no one knows what it actually is.

Very interesting research, put together by the University of Toronto, suggests that the fact that happiness is such an abstract notion and there’s no clear definition to it, makes people feel unhappier.

Here’s what they’ve found:

• happiness is a moving target;
• people know that their time is limited, which makes the pursuit of happiness even more stressful;
• the result of people not knowing what happiness is, makes people feel uncertain, and, consequently, even unhappier because they are unable to achieve the state they are looking for.

Every generation can say that they are unhappy for various reasons. But every previous generation claims that every following generation must be happier because they won’t have to face the same problems. I’ve found it to be true that baby boomers think this about millennials and Gen-Z.

And, as a millennial, here’s what I can tell you.

Young Generations Feel As Unhappy As Ever

And no, we’re not pretending. Research is on our side.

Only 1 in 10 millennials identify their career as the top priority, while the other 9 say happiness is of the top importance.

Yet, a study, published by the Telegraph, claims that millennials have the most negative outlook on the future, claiming they have too much pressure from society to feel and become happy.

So what do millennials and Gen-Z kids do to get others to think they are living a happier life than they really are? Everyone knows about the dependent relationship younger generations have with social media. It seems we cannot stand up from bed without taking a look at EVERY social media account. 

It’s safe to say that this relationship is toxic. Take a look: according to the study, published by the Independent, 51% of millennials claim they use social media like Facebook and Instagram to give the impression that their real-life relationships are perfect.

But How Can You Change That?

I believe that the reason the younger generation is generally unhappy is that we tend to hold on to a lot of things instead of letting go and moving on.

What are those things we hold on to?

Take a look. I guarantee you will relate.

1. Being a Control Freak

This is very hard to let go of. Once you start obsessing over controlling everything, you become an addict. The more things you have control over, the more you want your control to grow.

But what’s normal control and what’s obsessive control?

Normal control involves understanding that things may get out of hand, and you can roll with it. Obsessive control is trying to organize every little detail of your life, and when things do get out of hand, you freak out. Hence, you become a control freak.

It’s easy to imagine where such a mindset could take you. Being a control freak could lead to obsessive-compulsive disorder, depression, health deterioration because of chronic stress, etc.  Not much space for happiness here.

So how do you let go of excessive control?

Understand that you can change the way you look at things, and that spontaneity can benefit you more than making sure that you have everything planned out.

Also, listen to your feelings. How often do you feel anxious or frustrated because of things you can’t control? Excessive control can keep you from noticing a lot of important things. Who knows, maybe you missed that moment of happiness you were so desperately seeking.

2. Being a People Pleaser

Who doesn’t want to be loved by everyone? Such a perfect feeling – everyone is smiling at you, saying how wonderful you are, thanking you...Isn’t it great?

Yes...and absolutely unrealistic.

As a people pleaser, you’re dragging around responsibility you didn’t have to impose on yourself. Trying to do well by everyone makes you feel responsible for how other people feel. But this is not your responsibility and can lead to why you feel unhappy every time you see someone who doesn’t like something about you.

Here are five of the steps that Ilene Strauss Cohen, Ph.D., describes that she took to help her in her struggle to stop being a people pleaser. 

• Become self-aware
• Realize avoiding problems doesn't promote growth in relationships
• Understand the importance of being authentic
• Realize doing too much in a relationship hurts the relationship rather than helps
• Learn self-acceptance by looking at yourself with interest and respect rather than judgment and denial

When you are trying to do well by everyone, you lose yourself. You can live your whole life like that.  It's important to pay attention to what feels good and right for you and not just for everyone else.

3. Being a Trash Keeper

Here’s what I mean by trash:

• past mistakes;
• heartbreaks;
• toxic relationships;
• resentment

For sure, letting go of this “trash” isn’t easy. We feel emotionally attached to these experiences. But here’s what you can do...

Think of the last time you did a spring cleaning in your house. You’ve collected all the unnecessary, old and annoying stuff from your apartment, called trash pickup and let these things go. You came back to your house and felt that it was easier to breathe now that you’ve let go of everything that held you back.

The same is with keeping trash in your life. Once you clear it, there will be enough free space for happiness to enter your life.

4. Being Motivated by Money

Perhaps the biggest reason why the younger generation cannot feel happy is that we are too attached to money. Some of this attachment is born out of necessity. Many of us have to work hard to pay off student loans, feel the pressure of buying our own place or providing for the family. It’s too easy to get dragged down this hole.

Nevertheless, it is always important to remember that money doesn’t buy everything. It doesn’t buy you the ability to wake up in the morning and be grateful for everything you already have (even if you don’t have a lot). Learning contentment and gratitude can help you feel happy every day, knowing that you are blessed with what you have.

Don't Chase Happiness

Happiness is different for everyone and in this life it doesn’t last forever. But we can have happy moments, even small moments, when we feel the most complete. You can experience these happy moments more often if you let go of things that put you in the wrong mindset.

Here’s one more thing: don’t chase happiness. It’s not a hunt. Happiness is not a kind of a wild animal, and you’re not a hunter. Instead, be present in the current moment. Who knows, maybe right now is the moment to be happy?

More From TheHopeLine

As Diana writes, chasing the elusive notion of happiness can leave us feeling empty when we don't find it or feel it.  Happiness often relies on external triggers such as other people, things, circumstances and experiences. She gives a lot of good practical tips of things to let go of to make more room for experiencing happiness.

We would also like to add that there is something more substantial than happiness and that is joy.

The Bible talks a lot about joy. God knows the power of joy and desires it for us: "A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." (Proverbs 17:22)

God offers us joy, contentment and hope when we believe in him and have a relationship with him. "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope." Romans 15:13

Joy from the Lord to those who believe is not fleeting and external, it lasts despite our circumstances. If you have tried everything to find contentment and peace and are still struggling, consider this...Learn More About God.

Diana Nadim Adjadj is a writer and editor who has a Master's degree in Marketing. She combines her passion for writing with her interest in research and creates thought-provoking content in various fields. Diana also runs her own 3to5Marketing blog.