This is a story about my dead dad as a poem that he wrote me one night.  I was really down one night and missed him a lot. The time we spent together was short, see...when I was only 12 years old, an evil person took my dad away from me. This evil person came into our family home (thank goodness that me and my brother were not at home) and shot my dad three times at point blank range, in the head, then the chest, and then in the stomach for no real reason at all.  They did not taken anything (not money, jewelry, or tools). They just killed him to be killing him, I guess. The reason I'm telling you all this is one night, not to long ago, I was sitting around thinking about how much I miss my dad and what my life would have been like with him still around. For some reason I started to write something down, to be honest I really don't remember writing anything at all but when I got done I looked at what I thought was going to be a bunch of doodles on the paper and to my surprise this is what I had wrote:

To my dearest friend,
l stood by your bed last night, I came to have a peep.
I could see that you were crying, you found it hard to sleep.
l spoke to you softly as you brushed away a tear,
"It’s me I haven't left you I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."

I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea.
You were thinking of the many times, your hands reached out to me.
I was with you at the shop today; your arms were getting sore.
I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more.

I was with you at my grave today, tend it with such care.
I want to reassure you, that I'm not laying there.
I walked with you towards the house as you fumbled for your keys.
I gently put my hand on you, I smiled and said it's me.

You looked so very tired, and sink into a chair.
I tried so hard to let you know, that I was standing there.
It's possible for me, to be so near you every day.
To say to you with certainty, "I never went away.”

You sit there very quietly, and smiled. I think you knew
in the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.
The day is over, I smile and watch you yawning and say,
"goodnight" "God bless.” "I'll see you in the morning."

And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,
I'll rush across to greet you and we'll stand, side by side.
I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see.
Be patient, live your journey out then come home to me.

I hope that y ‘all enjoyed reading my dead dad's poem that he wrote me the other day and if you all are anything like me you are more than likely wiping tears from your eyes too. Thanks for reading and share this...maybe it will help somebody out one day, I know it did for me.
~Fragel

If you are dealing with grief, there are ways to cope. Get your free guide to help you understand and cope with the stages of grief:

Deep depression, loss of her best friend, questioning God, turning to food for comfort, being super single—all things Mandisa opened up about in her chat with TheHopeLine!

Mandisa was so sweet when she spoke to us, and the really cool thing is that she is not ashamed to talk about her struggles. She is authentic and real and brings a lot of raw emotion into her music! 

Mandisa's new album, Out of the Dark, is based on personal experience.  She says God has pulled her out of the dark and now she has a renewed passion for her music and a willingness to be transparent and vulnerable about the challenges she faced the last several years.

Depression can be a deep, dark hole that sucks you in further and further. It can be all-consuming, and you can feel like there is no hope. Depression can be a struggle all of its own or it can stem from so many other things like anxiety, grief, relationship issues, and abuse. If you are in that dark place right now or have been there, you are not alone.  Singer, songwriter, and Grammy winner, Mandisa has been very transparent about the deep depression she faced in the last few years, and she tells TheHopeLine what it was like.  She says that, at one point, she was comfortable in that dark place. She explains, "I shut out everyone; I shut out God; I shut out everyone who loved me.  I hardly left my house.  I stayed in my house every day. I ate and I watched television, and I've never been more miserable in my life."

When you are in a deep depression, it's all-consuming, so it's very hard to make positive steps to move forward or get help. Mandisa was in a depression for about 3 1/2 years until she reached a turning point. Mandisa said God showed her 3 things:

1. We have to walk in community with one another.  - "There's a difference between needing time to re-energize and isolating and shutting out the world."  Her loved ones loved her too much to leave her where she was.  Friends and family are important!

2. Stop focusing on your mistakes in the past. - "I had to stop battling with shame because of all the mistakes I made."

3. Look for those flickers of light that come in so many places. - "Darkness is overwhelming, but it only takes one flicker of light to chase out that darkness."

If you’re struggling with depression, please reach out for support today. You can chat with a Hope Coach. It's free and confidential.

Mandisa's Grammy-winning song "Overcomer" was written for her best friend, Kisha, to encourage her while she was battling breast cancer. Mandisa later wrote "Prove Me Wrong" from the anger she was feeling after her friend died.  She says the song is not tied up with a pretty Christian bow, but it's honest and heartfelt.  She says through her grief she learned, "When you are dealing with grief, you have to bring that to the Lord, or you are going to bring it somewhere else."

How THE BIG THREE Can Help With Addiction Recovery

When you think of ways to help in your fight against pornography [or any addiction], how often do sleep, food, and exercise come up?

You might be surprised at how often research connects compulsive patterns to these basic lifestyle factors—especially what we call the Big Three— sleep, food, and exercise. Each of these makes a huge difference in the quality of our mood and our overall mental and emotional well-being — including depression and anxiety, or how well we can focus our attention at any given moment.

But you don’t need any scientist to tell you that. Think of the last time you binged on sweets or spent the whole day sitting around inside. When we’re paying closer attention, something that seems pleasant at the moment can tank our mood over time. And when we don’t feel well, it’s all too easy to scramble for some way—any way—to feel better. Let’s take a closer look at each of the Big Three, and how they can help you on your journey to freedom.

GET SOME SLEEP

Research studies consistently find that both teenagers and adults are seriously deprived of sleep. For most of us, we’re simply not getting what we need.

Sufficient sleep is especially crucial for anyone wanting to find freedom from addiction. Not only does the brain recharge and repair during sleep, but there are also ripple effects that impact the whole body. Going without sleep has been connected to lower immune function, serious disease, and weight gain – as well as impaired ability to reason and think clearly.

When you’re tired, you’re just not yourself; your brain’s not running at full capacity.

Bottom line: a tired body and cloudy mind will leave you vulnerable and less prepared to fight.

Make healthy amounts of sleep a top priority. If anything is getting in the way of getting enough sleep, take it very seriously, because if it’s interfering with your sleep, it’s probably messing with your freedom, too.

GET THE RIGHT FUEL

In addition to sleep, another way to recharge your body is to check out what kind of fuel you’re giving it.

How far would you get in your car if you put maple syrup or Coca-Cola in the gas tank? It sounds dumb, but let’s be honest: we’re sometimes just as dumb with our own bodies by taking in stuff the body hardly recognizes as nourishment. And then we act surprised when the body doesn’t run so well…

Want to build strength in this battle? Take a look at the food you’re taking in.

Rather than only listening to others tell you what to eat, why not listen to your own body – try paying closer attention to what your body needs and wants.

GET MOVING

Alright, one more example. While recharging your body through rest and good fuel is important, if you want to supercharge it, then try something radical: move around more!

Although there is a lot of discussion about physical activity these days, we still do a ton of sitting around.

You might be asking what the problem is with sitting so much. So, let’s look at the facts: without enough movement and activity, we are starving our brain in another way and setting ourselves up for the same old patterns.

What about the reverse? What if we bumped up our activity level? In the late 1990s, Dr. Van Praag and his colleagues at the Laboratory of Genetics at the Salk Institute in San Diego, California, showed that exercise increases neurogenesis (or the birth of new brain cells).

When you exercise, a flood of oxygen heads to your brain, and several other processes are triggered that help your brain grow.

So, by exercising, we’re rewiring the brain in a healthy way and giving our brain an extra boost to function at peak performance.

GET STARTED

Studies are showing that poor health can cause us to be more susceptible to impulsive decisions. When we are tired, hungry, or in bed all day, it can be much harder to resist those cravings when they come. However, it doesn’t have to be that way. Even simple adjustments in the Big Three – sleep, diet, and exercise – can supercharge your path to freedom in surprising ways.

There are countless ways to strengthen your defenses and Fortify yourself. By recharging your body with the sleep, fuel, and energy it needs, you can give yourself an even better shot at kicking porn to the curb, for good. We may not be running this marathon with you, but we are cheering for you the whole way.

This post was originally published on Fortify, it has been reused with permission by The Fortify Team. Fortify was specifically designed to help individuals (particularly young people) struggling with pornography eventually reach long-lasting freedom.

If you have a pornography addiction, don't let it stand in the way of who you want to become...check out Fortify! Their core strategies help you to get to the root of your addiction so you can find long-lasting freedom.

For more information on how to overcome the destructive addiction to pornography, check out our eBook.

Reclaim Your Identity, Peace, and Purpose

Selfies. You either love them or you hate them, there really hasn’t been a great in-between space. In a world where our reflection matters, what young women want most is to feel comfortable in their own skin. Everyone wants self-acceptance, belonging, and a deep understanding that we are loved. We want to feel beautiful or handsome and to exude the courage to show up for our very own God-created destiny, and society gives us many ways to express that. We want to be recognized for who we are, what we love, and what we accomplish. We want our friends to see us, and we want to be celebrated.

Yet peeling back the mask of shame, we often have a hard time fully connecting to our identity. There’s a muddy space in the middle of where we want to be and where we are. We may get sidetracked by what we see of others, of what they are doing and experiencing and sharing with their world. We start to compare and contrast, get jealous or get even, we sometimes even forget what we really look like. Before we know it, an hour has passed.

And in the midst of this mind-game jungle, we hold a phone up to our face and we “click”. Then we look deeper. Here is where we may start to sigh or invite self-hatred, ask for a do-over, or look away in disgust. Here we also might surprise ourselves and light up a bit, encouraged by what “faults” might not have been caught by the camera or what hue our eye color gleams that we never saw before.

It’s the journey into the selfie. Who am I? What is my identity, where do I belong, and what do I do with my life? In a society where we are all trying so desperately to connect, we take a snapshot, share it, and wait for others to react. We also react to others and take inventory of what we like and don’t like.

Social media has quickly moved to the forefront of many of our daily interactions. It is used instead of coffee dates or real dates, always in the back of our mind for sharing our current experience with the world. As a culture, we want to feel known and loved.  We want to share, be heard, and contribute, yet how we do that can either make us or break us.

Social connection in this type of form is probably not disappearing any time soon. Technology is here and here to stay. There are, though, a few helpful tips that can aid in bringing balance to a culture that can sometimes be difficult to navigate.

If you find yourself falling into a trap of social media “medication”, ask yourself these 10 questions to reclaim your identity:

1. What is it I’m really looking for when I’m drawn to the screen? Friendship, a creative outlet, connection, validation of my worth, something to dull my pain?
2. What is the primary feeling that moves me toward social media? Sadness, loneliness, boredom, acceptance, joy?
3. Am I going to social media to receive something or to share something? If I’m looking to receive something, what is it? If you’re going to share something, is it helpful and positive or venting and negative? For example: Is this your new favorite recipe? Or are you sharing how upset you are about something?
4. Is social media your primary form of connecting with people? If you are feeling lonely, can you call a friend to meet up instead?
5. Do you find yourself on the phone too much? Would it be helpful to limit your time on the internet to certain times of day? What can you replace your time with that brings you more joy?
6. What are your favorite activities for exercise? You might want to join an exercise class to connect with people in person.
7. What are some of your goals and dreams? Put the technology aside and journal about your future.
8. Are there a few small, practical steps you can take toward moving your body and also moving toward your goals? How does that make you feel?
9. How can you set aside 20 minutes daily for quiet, solitude, and prayer?
10. Who can you ask for support in building your identity, confidence, and growth?

Though these questions don’t cover all the bases, they can give you a great start to reclaim your identity, your peace, and your purpose! Sometimes it can be difficult to not feel “connected” to an online world; however, it can be even more devastating not to be connected to your own peace and purpose. Start with these few introductory questions and ask God to be part of your journey into identity. When He is the driving force to what you see in yourself, you are always sure to win. His best intentions at heart, you’ll never feel left out, lonely, or depressed. You’ll be sure to love yourself well when you can love yourself from the inside-out!

To hear more about a teenager’s journey into self-confidence, connection, and acceptance, check out Sarah’s book “How to take a Selfie: A Social Media Detox to Regain Confidence and Connection” on Amazon. Sarah is a wife, mother, author, and artist. She loves to write and create and spread that joy on social media. Through a painful past and a reclaimed future, she’s learned that true identity can be found best from the inside-out. She loves to share how God has healed her soul and turned her messy, yet divine process into something beautiful. 

 

My Autism Diagnosis at Age 21 Made Everything Come Together

I was always told that honesty is important. So I was truthful, always. Well, apparently people don’t appreciate it when you’re honest. When you tell someone who’s being dishonest that they are, they might get angry. Especially teachers, or so I’ve learned. I would always get in trouble, but I never understood why. I was always polite as I’d learned and I was always honest as I’d learned. For a long time I just thought the problem was with me — I’m not likable, people just instantly hate me, I’m worthless. I struggled with these feelings from an early age. I changed schools, I got older, I tried new “tricks” to get in line. I did anything I could think of to please everybody. But people, both children and adults, seemed to take an instant disliking to me.

I Didn't Understand Other Kids

I didn’t understand other kids. I didn’t understand why they would be so loud or move so much. I hated games like “tag”; the touching made me feel uncomfortable. They’d say I was a sore loser but it wasn’t the being “tagged” that I disliked, it was the touch that came along with it. And I didn’t like the way everybody would move in an unpredictable way. I hated the shouting and the yelling that came along with it. In every way, other children were like aliens to me. I didn’t understand what they liked to talk about, how they liked to play, why they moved so much, the kind of toys they wanted for Christmas. Why they wouldn’t listen to their parents and our teachers. Because I always did what I was told, literally. Which in my experience got me in more trouble, with peers as well as adults. And that’s even more confusing.

My Youth Was a Bumpy Ride

I have autism spectrum disorder (ASD). After having quite a bumpy ride in my youth, I finally got the diagnosis that made everything come together at age 21. Now I’m 25 and it might sound weird to some, but I’m happy with my diagnosis. For such a long time there have been so many things that confused me or enraged me or made me feel uncomfortable in any other way. But I never understood those feelings, I couldn’t handle them, couldn’t channel them. So I got in trouble. I got in trouble a lot. That’s why, at an early age, I began struggling with the feeling that I didn’t want to live anymore. I told my mother for the first time when I was about 5, but when I saw her reaction, I decided not to mention it again. My parents are very important to me; for a very long time they have felt like the only true friends I had. I could say anything to them and they would understand. But she didn’t understand this, so I shut it away.

I Struggle With Suicidal Thoughts

But it never left me. Even now I struggle with suicidal thoughts sometimes. I’ve had an eating disorder in my early 20s. I’ve struggled with anxiety attacks. There was a period that I’d self-harm as a way of coping, as a way of stimming. But with my diagnosis came understanding. Now I know who I am, why I do the things I do. And I have learned so much in these last couple of years. I always like to describe it as a “playbook” I have in my brain. I need this especially for social situations. “If A, then B. If not A, then C.” It may take me a while, but I’ll get you an appropriate response eventually. Most of the time. And when I don’t, I don’t. At least I won’t beat myself up over it.

Being an Adult With ASD

It can be hard being an adult with ASD. People don’t believe me when I tell them. They think people with ASD are aggressive or anti-social. They think a lot. But they don’t think I could have it. That’s why I don’t like to tell people. Dealing with the comments of disbelief. I don’t want to have to validate my ASD. So I shut my mouth and deal with life the way I do. Even though I feel this might help keep the stigma, the misunderstanding, the disbelief in place. So yes, I’m sorry for not breaking through the ignorance. I’m sorry for not speaking up.

One way we can support autism is by trying to understand how someone with autism sees the world. You've just read one person's story! 

Here is another! Watch this video chat call that Brooks Gibbs had with Michael who is on the autism spectrum and has learned to not let his autism define him. 

Lyocto Es, writer and contributor for The Mighty, shares his story.

Partnering with The Mighty

If you or a friend need support right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, for free confidential, 24/7 help. Head here for a list of crisis centers around the world. For additional help, please visit the suicide prevention resource page.

What is TheHopeLine? Who is Dawson McAllister?  We are best defined by the people who we have helped.  Here are their stories with their heartbreak, and their victories expressed. These are some of the amazing thank you's we've received from people who have come to us in their time of need.  We are honored and blessed to have been a small part of their lives...giving love, encouragement, advice, guidance, and hope when all else seemed lost.

Fighting With My Sister...

"Seven years ago my older sister and I got into a big fight. I didn't talk to her for a long time. Then about 5 months ago, I was listening to Dawson's talk show and he helped me. Dawson was talking to someone else about the same situation that my older sister and I had. Well, that helped me because Dawson said to forgive and move forward. And so my sister and I made up. So thank you so much Dawson." ~ Sierra 

Suicidal...

"My life was saved tonight, thanks to a HopeCoach who selflessly listened to me and helped me find the strength within myself to keep going. I was ready to end my life, had last all hope in any redemption. Without this service I would be gone. Thank you for saving my life, for supporting me when I had nobody else to turn to and for showing me that there is hope for me. This is an amazing service that has the power to move mountains. Thank you." ~ Jenna

Feeling alone...

"I was feeling totally and utterly alone tonight, so alone that I didn't want to be here anymore. I had an online chat with Kelsey and honestly she couldn't of helped me more! I got that attached, I didn't want to stop talking!! haha Sometimes, you feel like all life is doom and gloom but you've just got to find out what you're good at and show people what you can do, and do something you love! I'm super happy now and although actions still need to be took to get me back on track, after speaking the Kelsey at TheHopeLine, I already feel one step closer to happiness!" ~ Emily

I'm 39 now, I will never forget...

"Hello! Yes, it has been a long time since hearing Dawson McAllister but he was placed on my heart. I would tune in when I was in high school. I struggled with bulimia, cutting and lived in an abusive environment. There is hope!! I am free from bulimia and cutting. I have forgiven those who have abused me...and one of them I dearly love! There is hope!!" ~ Katey

Parent's Divorce...

"My parents divorced in 2008 and it impacted me a lot. I was really attached to my dad and not having him around has really affected me. I was listening to the radio on a Sunday night and I happened upon Dawson McAllister. I thought it was wonderful and decided that I would try it [TheHopeLine], so I did, and I feel wonderful! Thank you Hope Line!!!!" ~ Isabell

Dawson, thank you...

"Hi, I'm Hannah. I was about 10 when I turned my local radio station on for the night and I heard the show. I heard it once, but I didn't turn it on again until I was about 13. That was a horrible time in my life, and it honestly only got worse, but with listening to your show and listening to what other people were going through and the advice that was given to other people, you helped me to feel a lot better about myself and who I was becoming. I felt like a bad person before. I still do sometimes, but now I listen to the show every Sunday night and it is a great start to my week. So, thank you." ~ Hannah

Child Abuse...

"When I was 3 years old, my parents divorced. Now that I'm getting older I have to pick sides. When I was 12, I chose to live with my mom because my dad threatened me. Now I am 13 and being abused in a way my parents don't see. They think everything is okay. In the way I see it, it's hard and it's a struggle. I have tried to commit suicide once and now a year after, I have decided to get help. I got on here and talked to one of the Hope Coaches. I chatted with Bay, she talked me through everything. She listened to me and even suggested that I call the Childhelp. These people really helped me and is helping me to change my life. Thank you!" ~Tia

While I Was in Prison...

"Dawson, I just wanted to tell you that I listened to your radio program while I was in prison. I was 20 years old when I committed my crime. When I listened to the young people's stories, I heard so much of my own problems that lead me to prison. Your advice was good and I was glad to know you are a believer. I served 19 years in prison. I used that time to get an education and take classes that helped me better my thinking and behavior. Most of all, God got a hold of me and transformed my life. Keep doing what you do, Dawson. Had I heard your program sooner, it might have kept me from making the bad choices I did. I'm 40 years old and starting my life over, its not easy, but I have a whole different attitude and perspective now. Praise God! May you be blessed." ~ Sherry Ann

Diagnosed with Depression and Anxiety...

"I was going through a lot. I was going through getting diagnosed with depression and anxiety. It was very rough, I wanted to die. I felt like I had no one that cared about me at all. Then I realized there was people out there who cared and might have no clue who you are. The people on TheHopeLine were people who did not even know about me but they still cared about me and how I felt.

Now, I know that if I need someone they are always here for me and I get a different person every time but they still try to understand what is going on." ~ Cassady

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Related Posts:
Video: Musician Chris Mora's Struggle With Depression
Mental Illness is not Mental Weakness
3 Keys To Recognizing And Understanding Depression
The Do’s (And Don’ts) When Your Friend Is Battling Depression

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Helpful and Encouraging...

"I have used TheHopeLine chat. The people I talked to were helpful and encouraged me. God loves me and you too!" ~ Kimberly

Battling with Depression...

"I was getting really low, and I was starting to think about suicide more and more every day and then I started listening to Dawson. I heard how there were so many other people like me out there and the words of advice that Dawson shared with them, it felt like he was sharing with me. I took what he said to those people to heart and I got some help. My life has gotten so much better! I have a girlfriend now and i have an awesome relationship with my parents. Thanks Dawson for the second Chance at Life! you truly are the grace of God!" ~ Damion

Hopelessness...

"I am older and perhaps not the intended user for the TheHopeLine. But I brought my sorrows here several times and I was startled by the quick response, patience of the coaches, and generosity of spirit. I would like to encourage all young people, whatever issues that challenge you to reach out to your fellow spiritual beings that share this world with you. You will see, most of all, that you are not alone. And from my age perspective, you can survive almost anything with a brighter future to be yours." ~ Tony

I Felt Like I Wanted to Cheat...

"I started my relationship with a girl and it's not a bad relationship. All of a sudden, I started getting an urge to start kissing random female's on the street, but then I found TheHopeLine and started chatting with someone. Now, I am back to normal and loving my girl like no tomorrow. We are now happily married and we have decided to explore the world together as a pair while coming back to our small apartment in the UK every once in a while." ~ John

Frustrating Relationship...

"I was very frustrated with my relationship. HopeCoaches helped me to calm down and attack the problem instead of each other. After a long conversation, I felt great and was ready to make it work with my girlfriend. I just want to say thanks!" ~ Cedrick

Depression...

"For the past couple weeks, I was depressed and I did not talk to anyone about it.  Then I decided to talk to a HopeCoach at TheHopeLine and they were very helpful. When they helped me out I could feel the depression and anger leaving me and now I feel better than I did before." ~ Austin

Bullied...

"I signed up for this thinking it was just going to be a website where you get told advice that you have been given before. But I was wrong. They offered me sites to go on and advice that helps. Now I am more happy and can deal with things a lot better!" ~Zack

I Felt Like Ending It...

"I felt very low.  Just to say a big thank you to Dawson McAllister on the telephone today as I am in a bad way and he understood and gave me some good resources and guidance that should hopefully help me in the future. Bless TheHopeLine! Hope is Here."  ~ Unknown

If you have a story to share about how you were helped by Dawson McAllister or TheHopeLine,

My name is Tayla and this is my story: 

What would you do if you had a cheating boyfriend?

"I found out that there was a high chance my boyfriend was cheating on me but unfortunately didn't know for sure. So I was stressing out about how to go about this issue as I struggle with anxiety. I spoke to a HopeCoach online who helped immensely. She gave me strategies to help me get through my situation and helped me figure out what steps I wanted to take to confront the issue without losing my mind. I can't thank TheHopeLine® and my HopeCoach enough for helping me."
~Tayla

For more on cheating, take some time to explore our cheating topic page with article, more stories, podcasts, and more! 

Director and Founder of Door of Hope 4 Teens and Young Adults, Debra Cornacchia, gives TheHopeLine an inside look at how they provide help for those struggling with self-harm.

Door of Hope Started from Debra's Own Struggles with Self-Harm

Door of Hope was birthed out of founder, Debra’s emotional pain and her struggles. She had self-harmed from the age of 12 years old to 25. She said there was no one to tell back then. Her goal with starting Door of Hope is to give hope to people struggling with self-harm. Debra has recovered from her addiction, gone to college, and has a successful career and a wonderful family. She wants others who are struggling with self-harm to know that recovery is possible for them as well.

Debra started Door of Hope as a support group in her local church.  They would meet once a week but no one was really showing up.  Then teens and young adults started coming to the meetings from 2 and 3 hours away.  She soon realized that people in the local neighborhood didn’t want to come out of fear, shame or being embarrassed because the people at the church would know who they were.  So, that’s when she decided to create a website.  And she wanted a way to be able to chat with people from all over the place so the texting hotline was started.  Door of Hope may have started off in a church but now they are an international organization.

Door of Hope Helps Anyone Struggling with Doing or Even Thinking About Self-Harm

They deal with mostly with self-harm but along with self-harm comes eating disorders, depression, anxiety.  You can get help from them even if you are thinking of self-harm and not actively even doing it.

Door of Hope Can Help You Stop Cutting

There is no quick fix to overcome the desire to self-harm.  Debra says, “I wish I had a magic wand where I could just wave it over you and your problems would be gone but unfortunately that doesn’t work because cutting is so addictive.  It takes time, recovery is not a race. 

Recovery is a process, it’s a journey.  If they want to walk that journey out and take the tools that we give them to help them through that. Recovery can be absolutely obtained. A lot of people don’t think that people who struggle with cutting can ever stop cutting but the good news is that they absolutely can.”

Door of Hope tries to get to the root cause of why someone is cutting.  They believe cutting is a symptom of far greater emotional issues, often stemming from trauma (physical abuse, sexual abuse, bullying) or feelings of neglect or low self-esteem.  There are many things that can be at the root problem of self-harm.

Debra reads 2 letters from people who were helped by Door of Hope:
Door of Hope shares 2 letters of hope - YouTube

Door of Hope Believes Secrets Grow in the Dark

Door of Hope connects people locally…with faith-based organizations, therapists, guidance counselors or someone else who can help.  They believe secrets grow in the dark.  There is such a secret with self-harm that if you are not able to express it to anyone then you’re not going to get help.  Door of Hope encourages the person struggling to reach out and tell someone they trust.

Door of Hope offers a texting hotline where you can contact them by texting or calling 803.570.2061. You can also email - doorofhope4teens@gmail.com. And now they are offering recovery coaching where sessions are set up through Skype or FaceTime.

Door of Hope Focuses on Forgiving

Most people who are hurting themselves have been hurt by others. They help people to walk through the process of forgiving.  It’s about giving the person a voice about what happened to them. They want to help them forgive the people who hurt them.

A lot of people are bullied and very angry at the people who have bullied them so they turn to cutting because it releases that pain but forgiveness is so much better. Forgiveness is setting yourself free.
Door of Hope - What is Forgiveness? - YouTube

If you are struggling with self-harm, help is available! Debra sums up who Door of Hope is and what they can do to help if you are struggling with self-harm:
What is Door of Hope? - YouTube

Door of Hope wants you to know it is confidential when you speak with them. They are not mandated reporters so they don’t have to report what you tell them.

Contact them:
Website - https://www.doorofhope4teens.org/
Call or text - 803.570.2061 or 914.393.1904
Email – doorofhope4teens@gmail.com
Set up one-on-one personal recovery coaching – call or text Debra at 914.393.1904

Your Journey May Be Dark but That Doesn't Mean It's Hopeless

I remember sitting in my room one night after I had just got home from smoking weed and drinking a little too much with a group of people that I had convinced myself were real friends. I was about nineteen years old and still trying to navigate my purpose in life as most of us do. As I sat in my bed and stared at the wall with glossy eyes and tears beginning to stream down my face, I remember thinking to myself, "This is hopeless." I then walked into the bathroom and proceeded to look at myself mirror. I remember being confused at who I saw staring back at me.

"This isn't me," I mumbled under my breath. "Who have I become?" I thought to myself.

I had been going down this dark road for quite some time now. I wasn't the person God created me to be. I was doing things I swore I'd never do; I was becoming a person I swore I'd never become; I was spending time with people I swore I'd never spend time with, and I was digging myself a hole that eventually felt too deep to climb out of. I had convinced myself that there was no way out of this darkness. I felt stuck. I was depressed, lonely, searching for worth in all the wrong places, and I was sure that God wanted nothing to do with me.

WE ALL GO THROUGH DARK TIMES

Depression does that to you. Anxiety can do that to you. Darkness can do that to you. You begin convincing yourself that darkness actually means hopelessness. But it doesn't. This couldn't be any farther from the truth. The reality is we all go through dark times in life. And although our darkness may look and feel different depending on the person, this doesn't make hope any less obtainable, no matter how broken and lifeless one may feel.

Hopeless is how I spent most of my life. But what I perceived as hopelessness was actually just darkness in disguise. It wasn't until I learned to drop my guard, admit that it was okay to not be okay, share my hurt with others, and grab hold of God that things started to change for me. The darkness started to subside, and hope began infiltrating every crevice of my life. It wasn't immediate.

It took time. And nor did it prevent darkness from trying to control me on a daily basis. But it was there, and it was present.
Hope is one of those things we can't outrun no matter how quick and witty we think we are. It's always one step ahead of us, waiting to be seen and grabbed hold of.  God's love, regardless of if you believe in it or not, is a light in dark and weary times. It's a lighthouse to a ship lost in a sea of colossal waves, and life-raft for those who are sinking.

HOPE IS AVAILABLE

Your life has a purpose no matter how broken you think it may be. And although "darkness" is something you might struggle with throughout your life, you must always remember that the hope of God is there to grab hold of in times of need.
-Jarrid Wilson

Jarrid Wilson was the founder of Anthem of Hope.  Anthem of Hope is a non-profit organization dedicated to illuminating hope for those battling brokenness, depression, anxiety, self-harm, suicide and addiction.