Who are You Believing?

From the time we are born to the moment we die, the world we encounter is trying to coat our identity with their opinions. Daily, we are told something about ourselves. It may be a friend saying positive, encouraging words, a coworker belittling our ideas or personality or a random person saying something mean in a parking lot. When something is said to you as truth by another person, do you question it? Do you take a look at yourself and wonder if it's true? Do you ask a friend? A family member? Or do you pray about it? Have you looked it up in the Bible?

If you're anything like me, the answer is you probably check with God less than you do all the other options. Perhaps you didn't even realize how much your identity is under the influence of the world around you. Are we letting lies latch onto your identity?

The Battle of Beach Towels and Droplets

Think about your identity as a dry beach towel. Every day you lay on the sand and someone walks by with an eye-dropper and drops the tiniest bit of water on your towel. The mean girl at school you can't quite stand up to: one drop. Your boss who harasses you: one drop. The girl on Instagram you think you should look like: one drop. Your friend that makes hurtful jokes: one drop.

Your dad who called you fat: two drops. You cutting yourself: three drops. The person that abused you: four drops. The boy you slept with that left you: four drops.

Before you know it, your beach towel is soaking wet; it's heavy and the color is distorted. It doesn't look like yours and it's uncomfortable to lay on. The reality is we let people dump lies on our identity daily - sometimes it's something about the core of who we are, sometimes just some aspect of us - but lies all the same. We don't notice the damp beach towel underneath us until it's sopping wet.

Finding Our Identity in the Truth

We need to find our identity in the right place - who is the One who knows us best? What does God say about who we are?

• We are NEW CREATIONS (2 Cor 5:17). You are not who you used to be. His mercies are new daily (Lam 3:22-23). Don't let anyone tell you your past defines you.
• We are ARTWORK. For we are His workmanship... (Eph 2:10a) The greek word for workmanship is εργασία. This word means work' or of the works of God as Creator'. WE are HIS work; A masterful creation by a masterful Creator.
• We are FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE (Ps 139:14). The word fearfully here means to inspire fear or awe and to be revered, honored, and respected. Treat yourself and others with honor and respect - that's how God see us!
• Our bodies are TEMPLES (1 Cor 6:19). Would you stand by and watch while people trashed the church building you meet in? Unlikely. If our bodies are are temples, then we shouldn't let ourselves or anyone mistreat our bodies, take advantage of them or disrespect any part of us.
• We are BELOVED and CHILDREN OF GOD (1 Jn 3:1-2). God is the perfect parent loving and caring for His children. You are not alone and you are loved.
• We are FREE FROM CONDEMNATION (Rom 8:1-2) through Christ - we needn't live in guilt and shame we can stand with our heads held high knowing we are loved as we are.

And there are so many more promises in the Bible to stand on. Every time the world tries to attack your identity, recognize it, deflect it with the scripture you know, and thank God for a chance to practice your faith and for the reminder that you are the child to the King.

Jenna is a volunteer and blogger for LIVEmpowered.  She is a native Nashvillian. She is a dancer, writer, and just-for-fun-photographer.  LIVEmpowered's goal is for you to know that you are LOVED, VALUED, and EMPOWERED to make choices that lead to a life of joy and purpose.

Perhaps you or a friend is self-harming or cutting. We understand how hard it can be to confront a problem like this. It's like hiding a monster in your closet where you're afraid to let it out, but in a weird way, you like having him there.

Kimberly Navarro, licensed therapist (LMFT), provides these insights about cutting:

It can feel good to have a release from all you're holding in. Cutting can create a space for you to free the pain, frustration and fears without anyone knowing what is going on inside. Self-harm can momentarily quiet the really deep pain, too. Cutting can be a way to deal with whatever life throws at you. The thing is, there are some good and some harmful ways to deal, and cutting is a harmful one: It is destructive to your body, leads to shame and can even become an addiction. There are chemicals that get released when our bodies get hurt, and they have a calming effect. This can create a high' when cutting, and so the chase begins: pursuing that feeling even though it never is quite as good as the first experience. There are times when you won't have the words for your feelings/pain, but cutting is never the answer. You must find other ways that are not destructive.

Here are a few signs you might notice that one of your friends or family members is struggling with self-harm:

• One of the most obvious signs is wearing a hoodie or long-sleeve shirt all the time, even when it's scorching hot outside.
• Another sign can be wearing lots of wristbands.
• Cutting also goes hand in hand with emotional problems in general. So just notice their obvious mood changes, ask how they are doing and have real discussions don't just keep it shallow.

It's important to know:

• Deep inside, many self-harmers want to be discovered. They often cut in obvious places hoping to get noticed. But they are torn because they are afraid of being shamed or potentially getting sent to a psych ward.
• Most have friends who know but are sworn to secrecy, or have friends who struggle, too. The people who self-harm in complete secrecy and who cut in hidden places that would never have a chance for discovery typically are in more serious emotional distress.
• As a friend, it's important to follow your gut. If you think someone is in trouble, and they won't talk to you about it, then they probably are; if they're not 'being themselves,' then they may need help.

Related Posts:
A Door of Hope
Why Do People Self-Harm?
Real Story: Artist Michaela Hatfield
How To Quit Cutting

We strongly believe that one cannot be free of the harmful effects of society without accountability and a strong reliance on God. You or your friend won't be cured of cutting until you address what's hurting inside, and that will likely require the help of a professional who has a relationship with Jesus Christ and experience with people in similar situations to yours. You or your friend will need interventions before you're free of this demon, be that from MyBrokenPalace.com, a local crisis center, a trusted therapist or a counselor. Whatever your choice, please do something now!

This guest post on self-harm is written by Jes Balascio of My Broken Palace for Project Inspired. 

Door of Hope Can Help You

Self-injury, also known as cutting is a deliberate injuring of the body which is usually done in secret and NOT for attention. It is often a cry for help. However, self-injury is a temporary fix to a deep-rooted problem. Cutting brings release when dealing with overwhelming emotions. A destructive cycle of cutting yourself, followed by guilt and shame, becomes a cycle of addiction. Door of Hope offers a phone line and real help.

You are not what your scars reveal, you are worth much more!

A common reason for self-injury is to get relief from overwhelming emotions. Cutting is like a "silent scream" often trying to release feelings you cannot express with words. Emptiness, low self-esteem, fear, depression and anger are emotions you might be able to identify with. Research indicates a connection of self-injurious behavior with a history of trauma or abuse. This may include but not limited to sexual, physical, verbal abuse.

How can I get help?

Door of Hope is a safe place where you can begin your journey towards freedom.  You are not alone in your struggle. They help people all over the world. Recovery is a process and they can help you discover the person that you were meant to become. You can begin to move past your scars and start living a "new life."

Their trained crisis care advocates will listen to your story and not judge you. They offer encouragement, resources and prayer as they help you learn new coping skills that are a healthy release and point you in the direction on the path that God has intended.
The team at Door of Hope believes that faith in God can begin to repair the damaged areas in your life. He will give you the strength to recover. Never lose hope...

It's ok...you don't have to be religious to contact them. God is not mad at you! He wants you to be free from your emotional pain and know that you are not what your scars represent.

If you're reading this, deep down you do want to stop cutting. Take a step towards your recovery and contact Door of Hope today. If you are 13 or over then contact them, they would love to chat with you. All conversations are kept confidential.

TEXT or CALL:

• 914 393.1904 or 803.570.2061
• Sunday, Tuesday & Thursday 8:30 – 10 PM (est)

EMAIL: doorofhope4teens@gmail.com

Debra Cornacchia, founder of Door of Hope 4 Teens shares from her heart:

"My message to teens and young adults is that secrets grow in the dark. The light of Christ will bring truth and healing for your present and future. As a teen, I struggled with depression, low self-esteem and self-injury. I had feelings of shame, guilt and anger and cutting provided a "quick fix" and became my best friend. I fell into a trap of the secret addiction of self-injury and believing in dark lies about myself and my future. Recovery is a process of change. I can celebrate that I have overcome self-injury and live a life of complete restoration. Now my life's work is to encourage and guide youth in their recovery. Let us help you realize that God will open the doors of hope and you can walk in the grace and freedom of self-harm. What he has done for me, he can do for you!"

"For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord, plans of good and not of evil, plans to give you HOPE and a future."  -Jeremiah 29:11

You can also download TheHopeLine's free eBook, Understanding Self-Harm and Cutting.

Are you your biggest fan or biggest critic?

Words can make you smile, laugh, cry, and scream. They have changed lives and will continue to do so forever. Words can build up and tear down relationships.

Words have power.

So what about the words in our minds: our thoughts. They have a lot of power too. Words come from our thoughts which come from our hearts. Our thoughts affect our whole lives. How are your thoughts affecting your life? Are you your biggest fan or your biggest critic? What are the things that go through your mind on a daily basis about yourself? How positive are the thoughts you have about yourself?

Here's a crazy truth for you: not all of your thoughts are true.

If you were to think I am the president of the United States, doesn't mean it is true. Just the same, thinking that you are unworthy of being loved does not mean that you actually are unworthy of love. For most of us, the negative self-talk continually creeping through our brains is a lie. Sometimes lies come into our thoughts and take hold until we eventually forget reality. These messages can take root for so long. They can affect our self-esteem and the way we live our lives. It may be the words of others spoken over us, messages from the society around us, or even ourselves.

One example is a sentence that was said to me in a past relationship. I wish you were taller and tanner and had bigger boobs. One, that is not a nice thing to say to anyone...ever. Two, these are all qualities about me that I cannot change. This translated into my brain as, I'm not good enough or attractive enough and I never will be.

I know this is a crazy jump, but I don't think I'm the only one who has made those leaps. I embraced it as truth, and it affected the way that I saw myself. It was a throw-away sentence on their behalf, but it shook my confidence in the relationship and other areas of my life. With this "I'm not good enough idea" floating through my head, it was easy to see the things that validated that thought and to disregard all the good things about myself.

So how do we change the patterns of negative thinking?

I have been learning to sift through my thoughts and really evaluate where they are all coming from. One of the most freeing things I have done is to break off the lies that have taken hold and replace them with the truth about who I am. When I think about where some of these ideas in my head have come from, it seems crazy that I ever let them come into my brain at all. There are a lot of really awesome things about me! There are also a lot of really great people that love and support me. These are the things I want to focus on instead of the things that have been said by the people who have hurt me.

My hope for you is that you can distinguish truth from the lies.

If there are any lies that you have turned into truth, I hope you will dig deep and cut them out. It might hurt a little to talk about them and deal with them but you will be able to move forward. Replace the lies and see the truth.
Write out some positive true words about you to help replace any lies you have believed.

Write them on your mirror, put them on sticky notes around your house, and build others up with them because the world needs some more encouragement.

Now go out and live your life with these running through your brain and I bet some things will start to change for the better.

Brigid is a Texas girl living in Nashville, TN, who loves laughing, Instagram, nachos and adventure. She is a volunteer and blogger. LIVEmpowered’s goal is for you to know that you are LOVED, VALUED, and EMPOWERED to make choices that lead to a life of joy and purpose. 

Ashley Rawls shares her story with I AM SECOND, a movement to inspire the revolution of Second.

Ashley Rawls carried the weight of the world on her shoulders. She came from a strict home in which the expectations for success were extremely high. Every year, she and her family watched beauty pageants in the hopes that one day Ashley would be the winner on that stage. This pressure to become the beauty queen led Ashley to control her eating, which developed into anorexia. While they watched their perfect beauty queen light up the stage, they didn't know Ashley was hiding a secret that was tormenting her soul.

I didn't know how to be normal. I didn't know how to have a normal relationship with food.

How do you let go of control without losing control? Ashley says her dilemma was never about image; it was about control—the control of having a normal life. Stability. Balance. It was about security. Ashley thought that if she could control her weight and what she was eating, then she would be happy. But the more she tried to control her eating, the more the eating disorder controlled her.

Is there hope for letting go without losing control? She eventually found peace and freedom when she gave up and handed her eating disorder over to God. She had to learn to trust that He could take care of something that had become too big for her, and that He loved her enough to be willing to help.

I've found, in my life, that the more I try to control something the worse I feel. But when I call out to God and ask Him to take my burdens from me, I feel a sense of relief and hope.

"The funny thing about giving up control is that I never really had control in the first place. My life has always been in God's hands, and all I was doing was getting in the way of what He was trying to do in me and through me." Watch as Ashley shares her story in her own words.

I AM SECOND is a movement meant to inspire people of all kinds to live for God and for others. Actors. Athletes. Musicians. Business leaders. Drug addicts. Your next-door neighbor. People like you. The authentic stories on iamsecond.com provide insight into dealing with typical struggles of everyday living. These are stories that give hope to the lonely and the hurting, help from destructive lifestyles, and inspiration to the unfulfilled. You'll discover people who've tried to go it alone and have failed. Find the hope, peace, and fulfillment they found. Be Second.

I AM SECOND encourages you to go a step further, talk with the people in your life. Spread the revolution of Second. Share the videos with friends. Gather a group of friends to discuss the films. Start an I AM SECOND group.

If you would like more information on eating disorders, please download our free eBook.

The Blame Game

Why do I have this problem? This simple question flooded my brain almost every day for eight years. I couldn't understand why I saw food differently than everyone else, why it had to be so paradoxical. I loved food so much that I hated it; it was as simple as that.

Just eat, or just stop when you're full. Everyone around me seemed to know how to make it go away. It all seemed so simple to them, but my routines, my beliefs, my truths knew them just as the sun knows when and where to rise and set. It doesn't just go away.

Blame. It has to go somewhere, right? I wanted to blame everybody and everything. I needed a reason, and I needed to know why. Why was my mind so messed up, so tainted, so weak?

As a teenager, life seemed so permanent. My day-to-day life, the way I was treated, the things that I was good at, interested in, and involved with...in my mind those were all fixed and would never change. My life was what I saw in the mirror that day. I was a number, a lipstick tube, a brand on a shirt, a "You're not fat; you're just big" from a peer. My identity, bent and twisted, only truly existed when I stripped myself of the makeup, the brand names, the fake friends, and the belittling of others to make myself feel better. It was down there somewhere underneath it all; I just had to find it. I knew that much.

Life's biggest heartaches revolve around answers we don't have. We want to know why life isn't always fair and why we have to look, dress, and learn the way we do. We want someone or something to blame for how bad things are, for why we're grouped and classified the way we are, or why things had to happen the way they did. Sadly, life doesn't always provide us with these reasons. That would be too easy, wouldn't it?

I've learned that nothing is easy when you're growing up. Between whom our parents want us to be and who our friends think we should be, discovering our identities is a grueling, never-ending battle. Without that third factor...knowing God had a plan for my life, I can't even consider where I would be today. That underlying hope that there was more, that God had a deeper plan, that God would never forsake me, that is what kept me believing.

Proverbs 3:5 says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding." What peace comes from knowing that we don't have to have all the answers; God holds them all in the palm of his hand!
God's truth supersedes all of our made-up truths, and with this fact, we have a reason to live in freedom, not blame.

End the War with Food and our Bodies

Finding Balance, a partner of TheHopeLine, wants everyone to eat well and live free.  Their mission is to provide practical resources to help people live healthier, more balanced lives, FREE from eating and body image issues, all rooted in Biblically sound principles and truth

Finding Balance shares ways we can end the war with food and our bodies:

The statistics are alarming some researchers estimate that at least 10 million women and 1 million men are struggling with eating disorders. 25 million are binge eaters, and an estimated 34 million are chronic dieters. 81% of ten-year-olds are afraid of getting fat, and three out of four women of normal weight ranges think they are fat.

As alarming as these numbers are, they probably don't surprise most of us. Almost everyone can name at least one person they know who is currently afflicted or who has battled disordered eating in the past.

There are many complicated factors that can lead to eating disorders, including life experiences, personality type, societal pressures and even genetics. Still, obsessions with food, eating and weight are central to all disordered eating.

Listed below are the types of attitudes and practices you can adopt to help guard against eating disorders. Be aware, and pass this information on to people you care about.

Regarding Weight

• Don't measure your worth by a number on the scale.
• Aim for a healthy, realistic weight for your body type.

Regarding Bodies

• Read magazines that promote a variety of body types and positive self-image.
• Change the channel when watching TV programs that treat teen girls and women as sex objects.
• Write letters to advertisers.
• Marvel at the wonderful variety of bodies in the world each one unique.
• Accept your body at its natural shape and size.
• Be thankful for the amazing things your body does every day.
• Focus on inner beauty in others and yourself.

Regarding Food

• As a rule, eat three healthy, balanced meals a day, and snacks as needed.
• Build in treats to enjoy in moderation.
• Read food labels and check portion sizes as an occasional learning tool, not an everyday ritual.
• Find alternatives to meet your emotional needs, instead of using food to do so.
• Become aware of your hunger and fullness signals.

Regarding Exercise

• Exercise regularly to stay healthy. Even just 20-30 minutes a day of low-impact walking gives you a huge health boost and can even prevent against depression and other ailments.
• Choose activities that you can truly enjoy and make them part of your life.

Regarding Emotional Health

• See a counselor if you are feeling down, anxious, fearful, or lonely.
• Make time in your life to connect with others on a regular basis, outside of work, such as in a small group, at church, having friends over or other activities. Isolation is where any unhealthy behavior thrives so make relationships a priority and growth area on an ongoing basis.

Final Thought: The Power of Words

What we say out loud tends to be what we believe. Most eating issues are propelled in some way by lies and/or negative self-talk.

Choose not to be a part of it. Don't join in on conversations that focus on diets, body comparison and the like. Instead, make opportunities to say positive things, whether just to yourself, to friends, or especially to family members. Together we can help end our war with food and our bodies and live the life we were created for.

If you think you might be struggling with an eating disorder, take Finding Balance's Quiz to test yourself.

Eating Issues Test 1

Eating Issues Test 2

Mallory Hood, blogger for Finding Balance. Original article published here.

Does Sex Trafficking Really Happen in The U.S.?

You may think it doesn't happen in your city or in your school, but it does happen...in all communities.  You may think it would never happen to anyone you know, it could only happen to a runaway girl who is willing to sell her body, so she doesn't have to go back to an abusive home, to a drug addict, or to a foster child with no one to watch out for them but it doesn't discriminate, it exploits all types of people from all different backgrounds.

An organization called Unchained was established to provide education and awareness that will motivate and mobilize communities to join the movement against commercial sexual exploitation of women in the United States.
Here are some myths and misconceptions that Unchained has published to help educate:

Only a big city problem

Sex Trafficking occurs in every city and community around the U.S. People believe that even though they live in a small or safe town that this would not happen in their communities. Not only are brothels found in small towns, but children are also at risk of becoming victims in small towns. Because of modern-day technology, the internet has exposed a greater number of youth to potential predators.

they meet in chat rooms, social media groups, etc.

This would not happen to my child

The belief that your child could never wind up in this lifestyle is a dangerous mindset. When we ignore the dangers and are not proactive in educating our kids, we leave our families unprotected. Communicating with kids about the dangers of internet predators and teaching them the warning signs of unhealthy relationships will be the best defense you can give to your family.

She is choosing this life

There is a misconception that the girls in this lifestyle are choosing to live this life. While there is a very small percentage of women who claim that prostitution should be legalized and that women should be able to make a choice, the reality is that the largest percentage of women do not choose this life. In truth, they are forced by a trafficker, or they are desperate and feel that they have no other means of survival except to have sex for money.

She's out there because she is a drug addict

Although we do see drugs and prostitution as going hand in hand, many victims will express that they never used drugs until they were in the life. Some traffickers force their victims to use drugs to keep them working day and night without a break.

Others say the traffickers give them the drugs to emotionally cope with the trauma of the life. We also see that young girls will use drugs to self-medicate, which increases the difficulty for them to get out of the life.

If she wanted to leave she would

One of the hardest concepts to understand about trafficking is why girls would choose not to leave their traffickers. Traffickers use different techniques to control their victims. Victims are threatened that if they were to leave, they would be found, beaten and killed. They also threaten to harm their family and friends. We also see many victims who develop trauma bonds with their traffickers. Victims who experience these trauma bonds are more difficult to work with as they do not self-identify as a victim.

It's a victimless crime

Young girls and women involved in prostitution suffer many psychological and physical consequences of being in The Life. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is one of the most common psychological disorders treated with victims of trafficking.

Some studies suggest that victims of sex trafficking suffer more severe PTSD than soldiers returning home from war. Young girls and women involved in prostitution have a mortality rate 40 times higher than those not involved in prostitution.

These girls make a lot of money doing this

It is true that girls will have quotas of 500-1000 dollars a night for their work. This could wind up being over $150,000 a year. However, what people do not realize is that 100% of their earnings are turned over to their trafficker/pimp. These girls work every day for 10-14 hours a day and many times receive very little food and rest. When the girls do not perform, they receive verbal, physical and sexual abuse.

Money that girls do earn is short-lived by either continual incarceration or drug abuse. Our experience has been that the victims will always leave the life the same way they enter, with nothing except the psychological damage that will take years to recover from.

All prostitutes wear scandalous clothes 

It's true that many girls who are in this lifestyle dress promiscuously, but many times these girls are wearing everyday clothes, jeans, hoodies and tennis shoes. We need to remember that this lifestyle does not discriminate and will exploit everyday people who come in all shapes, sizes and colors. When we assume that victims will look a certain way, we miss out on opportunities to help potential victims.

Pimps are not real 

The media culture has given us a new idea of what a pimp is. Main-stream hip hop has given the term pimp a new look and meaning. A pimp is a man who has lots of money, nice cars, and is surrounded by beautiful women. Another typical stereotype of pimps are men who are dressed in flamboyant clothes and carry a pimp cup or pimp cane. Pimps are real but they do not fit those stereotypes. Pimps can be both men and women. They are young and old and represent all races. Pimps are traffickers, men and women, who prey on vulnerable individuals. They psychologically or physically manipulate the victim to have sex for money.

Some pimps use psychological manipulation to control their victims while others use physical force to keep their victims under submission.

How do I help a victim of sex trafficking?

If you want to help someone who is a victim of sex trafficking, it is important not to put yourself in harm’s way. If you suspect trafficking is happening in your community, call National Human Trafficking Hotline toll-free at 1-888-373-7888.

Here are some signs to identify a potential victim of sex trafficking.

• Chronic runaway/homeless youth
• Lying about age/false ID
• Injuries/signs of physical abuse (that they may be reluctant to explain)
• Has untreated illnesses or infections. Examples: Diabetes, cancer, TB.
• Has STDs, HIV/Aids, pelvic pain/inflammation, rectal trauma, urinary difficulties, abdominal or genital trauma.
• Inability or fear of social interaction
• Carries hotel keys/ key cards
• Exhibits emotional distress such as depression, submissiveness, anxiety, panic attacks, confusion, phobias, disorientation, self-inflicted injuries or suicide attempts.
• Inconsistencies when describing and recounting events
• Unable or unwilling to give local address or information about parent(s)/guardian
• Presence or fear of another person (often an older male or boyfriend who seems controlling)
• Sexually explicit profiles on social networking sites
• High number of reported sexual partners at a young age
• Talks about an older boyfriend or sex with an older man/boyfriend.
• Uses words associated with the commercial sex industry.
• Has a prepaid cell phone.
• May try to protect trafficker from authorities, have loyalty to the trafficker, not identify as a victim.
• Has an unexplained sudden increase in money, clothing or other goods.
• Is frequently truant from school or not enrolled.
• History of abuse and/or trauma (rape, violent crime, etc.).

If you suspect that someone you come in contact with is being exploited, then you can report anonymously and safely to The National Human Trafficking Hotline .
For 24/7 CONFIDENTIAL HELP Call 1-888-373-7888 ( TTY: 711)|*Text 233733 |Live Chat 
You can report VICTIMS, TRAFFICKERS, or SUSPICIOUS ACTIVITY.

Growing up I was not immune to the many issues teens face today. I experienced depression and cutting as a way of coping.

Why I Started Cutting

It started out as depression that just kept getting worse and I started to feel nothing, so much to the point where I would cut just to feel again. I hated everything about myself, and I just didn't care what happened to me. I didn't want to live. I had low self-esteem, I hated the way I looked, and I hated living. I felt invisible and lifeless. I started getting depressed when a lot of my friends left and betrayed me. My family and I have been taking care of my Papaw for quite a while and having my "friends" betray me didn't help me any. I started having anxiety attacks, and my depression throughout the year just kept getting worse. Cutting was the only way I felt alive.

What I did to Start Feeling Better

I would try to switch the negative with the positive, my whole mirror was filled with encouraging Bible verses and song lyrics, I tried to tell myself I was beautiful every day in the mirror even though I didn't believe it...at first. It may not sound like a lot, but it did help.

When I tried to cut myself the last time, I had hit rock bottom, I tried and tried and tried and no matter how hard I tried to cut myself, the blade wouldn't work.  I kept asking God where he was and if he was even there and that was my answer. After that night, I started putting my trust and faith in God for the first time, in a long time.

And I started to feel again, I felt love and joy again, I could actually smile. Not the fake smile everyone saw. The mask was gone and the real me was there. My family helped me to keep going. When I wanted to end my life, they are what kept me going. I didn't have friends at that point, I had family. I kept trying to hold onto what friends I thought I had, even when they betrayed me. I never realized that God was what I really needed and that being alone wasn't all that bad. I felt free finally.

What I Would Tell Others Who are Struggling

There is HOPE! It may seem dark now, but the day will come again. Even in the night there is still a light that shines brightly till the break of day. You don't have to fight whatever you're dealing with alone, there are people who understand and are willing to help. All you have to do is reach out.  TheHopeLine is a great resource.

What Kept Me Going

I always sang, but I had stage fright. I still do, some days are worse than others, but I push through. The kids and the people that come up to me after I sing are worth it. I've always wanted to inspire people to be kind and to go after their dreams even if they sound impossible. :)

My Pappaw used to play a lot of bluegrass when I was little and he played a lot of instruments.... guitar, fiddle, mandolin, and banjo. I know rock and bluegrass are pretty much opposites of each other but he got me interested in music in the first place, that and my dad, he has a pretty huge library of music.

I also turn to God's word. My favorite verse is: "But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk and not faint." -Isaiah 40:31

If you or someone you know is struggling with self-harm, check out TheHopeLine's free eBook.

My mother was losing her mind. And I had no idea how to deal with it. On one hand, I hated her for not being strong enough to deal with something like this. On the other, I felt bad for hating her and wanted to do everything I could to save her.

I actually stumbled upon this website looking up ways to commit suicide.

And I am so glad I did. I connected with a HopeCoach and she listened...just the way I needed her to.  At the time I was sitting in front of the computer with a bottle of Promethazine tablets in my hand. The HopeCoach was so understanding, and she helped me to look at what I would be leaving behind if I died. It was an incredible thing she did for me. She even prayed with me.

The Hopeline saved my life!

Thank you!
-Mya

You too can chat with a HopeCoach from our Get Help Page. Or if you or a friend need support right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, for free confidential, 24/7 help. Head here for a list of crisis centers around the world. For additional help, please visit the suicide prevention resource page.