I Feel Like I Am Not Good Enough for My Boyfriend/Girlfriend
Amelia asked, "I've been with my boyfriend for about three months now and he's great, but I just feel like I'm not good enough for him. I'm 19, he's 21, and he's perfect, but I always feel like I'm being compared to his ex-girlfriend from three years ago, or that I'm just not good for him. He says that's not true, but I can't get past the feeling that he's too good for me. It's starting to affect our relationship; how do I get over this?"
I think there are a couple of issues going on here.
How to Feel Like Enough in a Relationship
Too High of a Pedestal
First, you say your boyfriend is perfect. Even without knowing him, I can assure you he isn't. We always make a mistake when we make someone we care about our hero or even our god. It's great to respect your bf/gf but putting them too high on a pedestal puts way too much pressure on them and on the relationship.
Seeing each other in a more realistic light, with both strengths and weaknesses, will help your relationship to be more balanced and healthier.
What Would Make You Feel Good Enough?
But the bigger issue is you not feeling good enough for him. Likely, no matter what he tells you, you will continue to think that he brings so much more to the relationship than you do. So let me ask you, is there anything that would make you feel good enough for him? I desire that you will start seeing yourself as worthy. God has made each of us as incredibly unique individuals. If God, the creator of the universe sees you as worthy and desires a relationship with you, you should see yourself as at least equal to your boyfriend and worthy of his love. You have just as many wonderful qualities as your boyfriend, even if you're not aware of them right now.
I encourage you to read this important blog about How to Respect Yourself.
It's important for you to accept the love your boyfriend/girlfriend is giving you, and not just write it off because you don't feel you deserve it. If you continue to talk about not feeling good enough, there's a good chance your bf/gf is going to become discouraged because your relationship seems to be so negative, and move on to someone else. Stop focusing on your weaknesses and only his/her strengths. Start seeing both yourself and him or her in a more realistic light, with both strengths and weaknesses. This will help your relationship to be more balanced and healthy.
So stop worrying about your imperfections, and concentrate on loving your bf/gf. When we really love others, we end up feeling a whole lot better about ourselves.
Another question I was asked about dating along the same lines is this:
Braden asked, "Is it normal for a girl to break up for no reason? If so, why?"
The short answer to your question is no.
Most People Don't Do Things Like Breaking Up With Someone for No Reason at All
Girls don't usually say, "Oh, it's Tuesday, I think I'll break up with my boyfriend today." It's usually a series of either events, conversations with friends, or private feelings that lead to someone breaking up with you.
Often, when a break-up happens out of the blue, it's because there's someone else who has entered the picture. Or maybe her friends are putting pressure on her to end the relationship. Sometimes you will never know the real reason. She's probably not telling you her reasons, either to protect herself or protect you from getting mad or hurt.
We will never completely understand the opposite sex, and all the reasons they feel what they feel, and do what they do.
Still, sometimes the not knowing why is more difficult than the actual break-up. I'd encourage you to let her have her reasons, whatever they may be, and not let it haunt you. If you are willing to do that, you'll find yourself learning to be a better, stronger person.
There are always going to be unanswered questions in dating relationships. We will never completely understand the opposite sex, and all the reasons they feel what they feel, and do what they do. Don't let this girl's lack of communication prevent you from being a person who chooses to be truthful and honest with the girls you date.
Want more help with not feeling good enough? Read: This Hole in My Soul
I have been with this guy on and off for a good 6 years. He has loved me and has always wanted to be with me and I'm always the one to break up with him because I get scared of getting hurt and honestly the way he loves me scares me because I didnt think a love like that could exist. I do love him but I fear that he will realize I'm not the one he wants and I'm not good enough. He has dated other girls that are way prettier and yet he says I the one he wants to be with. I don't know I just don't think a love like that could exist without some cheating or something happening. I don't know, any suggestions?
Well, I don't know when you questioned this but, heres from a guys standpoint. I've been with my gf for over 4 months now, and i can tell you, yes jt can. I care about her more than she realizes, and yes it is very scary. All of a sudden, how can someone think that way towards someone. But with how much i know, and not much cause im 16 and this is my first relationship, that love is very different. It will always be viewed differently, but this man you are with, like me, wont care for a world to give up, cause we need that person, or you in your case, and we know that. You are very valuable, and you do deserve that, remember that. Your flaws are your best friend, being thats who you are and who you can learn from. Dont forget how you felt from before, but accept and learn thats not right. Sorry if it doesnt help but thats how i view things, hope you feel better about the situation:)
I've been with my boyfriend for two years and everything seemed to be perfect in the beginning... then I find out he is known for being a flirt. He constantly stares at girls right I'm front of me and then denies it when I confront him. He lies a lot and is not supportive whatsoever anymore. I caught him texting about 10 girls now since we started dating. He says inappropriate things to them and calls them beautiful and he doesn't even call me beautiful or make me feel good enough. He acts like he loves me and cares about me but no matter what, he won't stop. I don't know what to do.
Me and boyfriend called it quits today (I'll be honest we did rush into it when we only knew eachother for a week) but he did say that I'll always have a special place in his heart and that maybe in the future we can try again..but I'm scared. I'm just scared at the thought of him with another girl and I dont like it. I'm just scared that he'll find someone better basically. Idk I really do like him and he says he feels the same
Hi I feel for you guys otherwise we wouldn't be here right
I have a massive question. I like this girl and she was so loved up in me at the beginning and after few days she just started to go cold but she still texted me and cared about me and flirted but she just stopped asking about me and started just saying what she wanted to about herself and never me but then I made a silly joke and she said that she doest want a boyfriend and she doesn't want to lead me on but then she said if we could stay friends and then I said yes and apologised if I did something wrong and then she said that I haven't and I need to ease off on messages and that I don't need to explain myself or try so hard and that she doent need to hear from me everyday and that she knows I care about her but she doesn't need it
Please help because I don't know what to do. I really like her a lot and she has everything that I like in a girl but since then we haven't spoke for few days because I thought that she needed space but I just can't figure out what it all means. It's like she wants me but she doesn't or she is scared about something because she knows I like her and she is afraid?
Qw