Hope For Your Broken Heart
Some people tell me that after their heart has been broken, they can’t eat, they can’t sleep, and their grades start dropping. It’s not an easy journey to move from a broken heart to healing, but it is possible, and it is necessary. You will need to take some hard steps of putting the hurt behind you so you can get on with the rest of your life. I hate to see you suffer, so here are a few tips for moving forward after a broken heart.
5 Ways to Move Ahead
1. Let go of mementos. If you’ve been dating someone a while, you no doubt have collected items that remind you of the one who left you behind. When you were still dating that person, these mementos meant the world to you and had a powerful impact on your emotions. But now, these same mementos only work to break your heart.
These include things like pictures, rings, pillows, music, clothes, etc. Hanging on to reminders of the relationship will get in the way of moving on. Get rid of them. This can be hard to do because there is something very final about throwing them away. You are finally admitting to yourself, “It’s over. It’s truly over.” This is an important step to take.
2. Keep yourself busy by giving to others. When you were dating, you spent hours and hours with your special someone who has broken your heart. Now you have all this time on your hands. People who get over broken hearts find ways to fill that time with something positive. For example, you might want to get to know your friends again. Hanging out with them will help remind you of the good old days before your ex. Or you can get involved in helping organizations like Big Brothers/Big Sisters or volunteer somewhere else. Filling your time with positive activities will both help distract you and help you feel good again
3. Take care of yourself physically. It is very difficult to overcome a broken heart when you don’t feel good physically. Not feeling well only adds to your depression. When people have their hearts broken, people either tend to quit eating or begin overeating. Sometimes they try to self-medicate through drugs or alcohol. None of this works and usually makes matters far worse.
When we eat right, we have more energy, more endurance, and less mood swings. Getting good exercise actually triggers chemicals in our brain helping to lift our mood. Have a friend to encourage you to exercise and eat right. Soon you will be feeling better, even if you’re not sure why.
4. Realize it’s mostly about you, not your ex. Any event in our lives is just that an event. The issue comes down to how we interpret that event. Two people going through the same type of break-up can interpret it and respond to it very differently. So, in the end, it comes down to whether you are going to allow this break-up to make you stronger or stay a victim. It’s no longer about the ex and how horrible they were or what they did. At some point it becomes mostly about you and whether or not you decide to move on.
5. Move on. Finally, that moment comes. Sometimes it creeps up on you. Other times, it’s like a light bulb goes on in your heart and you say to yourself, “It’s time for me to move on. I’m not going to die. The sun will come up tomorrow and I feel myself learning to live without the other person. In fact, I can go a whole day without thinking of him/her.” When that happens, it’s an awesome thing. There’s nothing quite like the realization you have decided to move on.
For more help and answers to your questions on breaking up and heartbreak, check out this page full of blogs, podcasts, stories, and more!
I was dating a guy for nine months of craziness. I love him and it's been a year since we've broken up but even a year later I'm still in bed crying over him. It was a great relationship but he had put me through so much and in the end I found out he was cheating so that was it and I couldn't keep letting him hurt me so I ended it and I don't know what's wrong with me but I think of him everyday and sometimes I wonder if I messed up in letting him go because I know I truly love him.
I'm kinda in the same boat the girl I love is getting married to a man she slept with once and is now pregnant with is kid her mother found out that she and I slept together and what her mother told me is that she wanted me to be the father but I am not the dad but I wish I was I would lay my life down for her but she still thinks that hat her baby daddy will stop doing drugs drinking and partying but I know him and I know he wont he likes to do drugs h lives to drunk and he lives to party if anyone has it hard for them its me I have loved her since Jr high and I know that I wont live anyone else
The advice seems helpful. I only recently was left from a 5 month relationship. Not very long but I have but mostly one rule. Don't promise what you cannot keep. I was promised alot and never was I given those in return. i gave everything. Now looking back,after blaming myself,i wasnt to blame for him leaving. It was him for leading me to believe i found happiness. This has made my night easier. Thank you.
nkm111411, you're welcome! Thank you for your feedback. If you ever need to talk about what is going on a HopeCoach is available to chat with you 24/7 at http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp.
Thank you Dawson. I think this will really help me. I broke up with my boyfriend of almost 3 years and it's been really hard because of all the other things going on in life. But I will live and let go. I am strong and I won't fall back into that relationship. I will let God help and heal me too. I can do this and I'm not alone, despite how I feel. Thank you so much. This made me smile despite everything, and I was begenning to think I had forgotten how. Have a great day Dawson, and I will too. Thank you, for everything.
Deauna, We are so glad to hear that Dawson's blog helped you. We'll be praying for you to stay strong and that you continue to find peace!
Thank you Dawson. This topic has helped me. Today I've decided to finally let go of my husband... Again ..... I was dealing with a heartbreak. I did what you were saying not to do, I over reacted and over analyze. Then I did what was on your list. I cried and talked to God. I let go of mementos. After I found your blog and decided to read it, hoping it would help me get through the night. It did. Its only been a day since this letting go has happened, but I will continue to follow your ways of getting over my broken heart. Thank you so much. I love giving people advises on heartbreaks but never seem to do it myself. Easier said than done, right? Goodnight Dawson! : ) I thought I would be crying myself to sleep tonight but thanks to you, I won't be.
YaYoua, Thank you for your kind words! We'll be praying for you. Stay strong.