There is value in being fearless and bold in the pursuit of your dreams. But for some guys, their dream is to date the most amazing girl they know to the point they don't know when to stop pursuing this dream.
So, let's have an honest look at when it may be time to give up.
How to Stop Pursuing Someone
Signs it May be Time to Stop Pursuing a Girl
In life, persistence often pays off. But when it comes to a guy pursuing a girl, it can be just plain confusing.
Danny wrote: There's this girl who I really like. But I have no idea whether she likes me or not. Sometimes she acts like she does, but other times she doesn't. I'm just confused.
Well, Danny - here are some obvious signs that it might be time to move on. But then keep reading for great tips on how to pursue a girl in a more appropriate way.
12 Signs to Move On
- When she obviously avoids you
- If you show an interest in her, but she seems to ignore you
- She acts one way around you, and another way around her friends
- No longer responds to your calls/texts/emails/snaps
- She asks you to stop
- Or tells you you're coming on too strong
- Your friends tell you to move on
- She talks to you about another guy she's interested in
- If she seems bothered, irritated or angry at you
- Your self-esteem starts to suffer for it
- You start to think you are going crazy about the whole situation
- If you're wondering if you should stop pursuing her, it's probably time.
Skye wrote: People need to use the common sense the good Lord gave them. When something in your head tells you not to do something, don't do it. You'll thank yourself later.
Roy wrote: Everyone I knew early on told us it would never work out, but I stayed with her to prove them wrong. In the end, it left me more broken and confused. Had I listened early on I would have saved myself a great deal of trouble and pain.
The most annoying guys are the ones who are convinced they have to be with this one particular girl, even though they might not even really know her. These guys are usually so strongly attracted to something about this girl, that he thinks he's in love before he even knows her.
Bottom line - if it is taking a lot of effort to get her interested and she is showing no indication she likes you, it is time to back off for both of your sakes.
How to Tell if a Girl Likes You
How Do Girls Show Signs of Interest?
This is one of those times in life where it’s best to just get the awkward part over with. Instead of trying to read “the signs,” go talk to her! Ask her how she feels, and be direct. Is that scary? Yes. Will it help you figure out what you need to know? Also yes.
Waiting around to see if you can interpret her interest level based on eye contact or emojis is a recipe for confusion, hurt feelings, anxiety, and a whoooooooole lot of time spent guessing that could have been spent dating!
There’s a catch, though: you have to accept her answer, whatever it is. If you approach her and ask if she’s interested in you or if she wants to go on a date, and she says “no,” you need to respect that. Don’t think that she said “no” and then continue reading into her body language, wondering if she was really playing hard to get. Take her at her word, give your feelings some time to recover from the rejection, and then start focusing on the good things you have going in your life.
Here are some things you could try saying, texting, or dming if you’re sure you’re ready to know, once and for all, if she’s interested:
“Hey ______, I really like talking to you, so I’m just gonna come right out and ask, would you go on a date with me?”
“I’m nervous, so I’m gonna spit it out—I like you. Do you like me back?”
“How would you feel about dating me? I think it would be really nice.”
“I like you. May I hold your hand?”
Don’t overthink it. You’ve got this.
So how can you pursue a girl in an appropriate way?
Relationships take time to develop. You can't force your way into someone else's life.
First, just seek to be friends.
Give yourself time to get to know her. But even more importantly, give her time to get to know you. You deserve someone who is interested in you, as well.
Second, don't act like your entire happiness depends on her realizing how wonderful you are.
That's a lot of pressure on a girl. She wants someone who is happy and confident in their own right.
Third, show her respect.
Most girls love to be pursued by a guy or viewed as someone special. Most of the time they appreciate a guy's persistence and confidence. But more than anything, a girl wants to be respected and valued. The more respect you can show as you pursue her, the better.
Fourth, give the chase a rest.
If you stop pursuing her, and give the chase a rest, you might find out the answer you're looking for. If she's interested in you, she may try to find out where you've been. She might actually become more interested in you, because you're not trying so hard. But you might also find that she doesn't care that you've stopped pursuing her. That's a good sign that you were pursuing the wrong girl. It's probably time to take a break, and hope that you can get to know each other as friends over time.
Fifth, relax.
Be relaxed in your pursuit of your dream girl. Don't act like your entire happiness depends on her realizing how wonderful you are. Keep in mind there are plenty of girls in the world, some of whom will find you attractive and well worth their time.
Sixth, don't change who you are.
I know you like this girl a lot, but you don’t want a relationship that is this much work. You don't want to pretend to be someone else just to stay in a relationship. That's exhausting. You deserve someone who likes you just the way you are! Create healthy boundaries for yourself. Boundaries are emotional markers that clearly define where one person ends, and the other person begins.
Healthy boundaries allow you to be free to be yourself, and not feel like your happiness is dependent on what another person thinks about you.
God created you just the way you are. You are uniquely you with your talents, sense of humor, interests, and style. God designed you with a purpose and has great plans for you. Don't let a girl ever make you question if you are good enough and if you should change.
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
Do you put yourself down all the time? Want to stop? Read this checklist of 10 ways to increase your self-esteem for a healthier self-image.
Hi, I would like to join the discussion, as I'm currently experiencing this.
I have this woman I really like, and an unexpected scenario came wherein I have to confess to know something.
She's speechless by my confession but in the end rejected me because she's facing a problem that time, as mentioned by her.
She says she wants to stay as whatever relationship we got. We still chat through social sites and eventually ended up texting. I tried texting her as if I didn't get rejected, tried prolonging our convos and always the one bringing a subject to discuss, and she's just replying whatever I ask without opening another subject. She even reply typical Short replies like 'He he' or 'Ha Ha' as if wanting to end our convos.
I always greet her in the morning and evening but sometimes she wont reply. A times when she won't reply to me during our convos.
Lastly, she's good at avoiding me in social site, when she's online and I just got online, she will sign off a few minutes later.
But, there are one time wherein she's the one who texted me and says goodnight when I didn't text her(due to unforeseen events), and holding unto this until now.
Question is, will I pursue my love interest for her(which I'm confused whether okay or not for her), or will I let this feelings fade(that way she won't be going offline every time I go online and won't be oblige to reply to my text)?
P.S. I really like this woman not only for the sake of dating and being girlfriend -boyfriend thing but like as in I want to marry her.
Ok
There is this girl I really like, and I do not think she likes me back. A few years back, I kinda stopped talking to her because of it. Is it wrong to do that?
If it was a few years back, then don't worry about it. Odds are, she moved on. A lot happens in a year
I have this one girl who like me and she always tell her friends I am her boyfriend but then the next minute she avoids me like the plague I dont understand why some girls are hot the next and the cold the next it been happening to me since I graduated from high school it always been this she all over you then as you tried to make your move,she blows you off like you are a piece of trash in high school girls were all over me always but then as I moved to college these woman play games with you I don't know why they do that but this site helped me a lot I am gonna avoid these girls from on this other girl she always smiles at me but when I feel the same way,she avoids me like I was a beggar walking like a queen bee with her girlfriends this other girl she. Stares at me then the next she treats me like a beggar,then she starts smiling at me almost like she knew I existed all this time maybe I should just take this girl.there needs to be a book about understanding woman.
i've been chasing this girl for over 3 years now, we've dated twice, and broke up twice. after that i gave her a break for a few months, and now i constantly remind her how much i still feel for her and how much i care, she says she knows, and understands, but says she doesn't think she can handle a relationship and even tells me she cannot promise she won't end up with another man... somebody please help me...