There is value in being fearless and bold in the pursuit of your dreams. But for some guys, their dream is to date the most amazing girl they know to the point they don't know when to stop pursuing this dream.
So, let's have an honest look at when it may be time to give up.
How to Stop Pursuing Someone
Signs it May be Time to Stop Pursuing a Girl
In life, persistence often pays off. But when it comes to a guy pursuing a girl, it can be just plain confusing.
Danny wrote: There's this girl who I really like. But I have no idea whether she likes me or not. Sometimes she acts like she does, but other times she doesn't. I'm just confused.
Well, Danny - here are some obvious signs that it might be time to move on. But then keep reading for great tips on how to pursue a girl in a more appropriate way.
12 Signs to Move On
- When she obviously avoids you
- If you show an interest in her, but she seems to ignore you
- She acts one way around you, and another way around her friends
- No longer responds to your calls/texts/emails/snaps
- She asks you to stop
- Or tells you you're coming on too strong
- Your friends tell you to move on
- She talks to you about another guy she's interested in
- If she seems bothered, irritated or angry at you
- Your self-esteem starts to suffer for it
- You start to think you are going crazy about the whole situation
- If you're wondering if you should stop pursuing her, it's probably time.
Skye wrote: People need to use the common sense the good Lord gave them. When something in your head tells you not to do something, don't do it. You'll thank yourself later.
Roy wrote: Everyone I knew early on told us it would never work out, but I stayed with her to prove them wrong. In the end, it left me more broken and confused. Had I listened early on I would have saved myself a great deal of trouble and pain.
The most annoying guys are the ones who are convinced they have to be with this one particular girl, even though they might not even really know her. These guys are usually so strongly attracted to something about this girl, that he thinks he's in love before he even knows her.
Bottom line - if it is taking a lot of effort to get her interested and she is showing no indication she likes you, it is time to back off for both of your sakes.
How to Tell if a Girl Likes You
How Do Girls Show Signs of Interest?
This is one of those times in life where it’s best to just get the awkward part over with. Instead of trying to read “the signs,” go talk to her! Ask her how she feels, and be direct. Is that scary? Yes. Will it help you figure out what you need to know? Also yes.
Waiting around to see if you can interpret her interest level based on eye contact or emojis is a recipe for confusion, hurt feelings, anxiety, and a whoooooooole lot of time spent guessing that could have been spent dating!
There’s a catch, though: you have to accept her answer, whatever it is. If you approach her and ask if she’s interested in you or if she wants to go on a date, and she says “no,” you need to respect that. Don’t think that she said “no” and then continue reading into her body language, wondering if she was really playing hard to get. Take her at her word, give your feelings some time to recover from the rejection, and then start focusing on the good things you have going in your life.
Here are some things you could try saying, texting, or dming if you’re sure you’re ready to know, once and for all, if she’s interested:
“Hey ______, I really like talking to you, so I’m just gonna come right out and ask, would you go on a date with me?”
“I’m nervous, so I’m gonna spit it out—I like you. Do you like me back?”
“How would you feel about dating me? I think it would be really nice.”
“I like you. May I hold your hand?”
Don’t overthink it. You’ve got this.
So how can you pursue a girl in an appropriate way?
Relationships take time to develop. You can't force your way into someone else's life.
First, just seek to be friends.
Give yourself time to get to know her. But even more importantly, give her time to get to know you. You deserve someone who is interested in you, as well.
Second, don't act like your entire happiness depends on her realizing how wonderful you are.
That's a lot of pressure on a girl. She wants someone who is happy and confident in their own right.
Third, show her respect.
Most girls love to be pursued by a guy or viewed as someone special. Most of the time they appreciate a guy's persistence and confidence. But more than anything, a girl wants to be respected and valued. The more respect you can show as you pursue her, the better.
Fourth, give the chase a rest.
If you stop pursuing her, and give the chase a rest, you might find out the answer you're looking for. If she's interested in you, she may try to find out where you've been. She might actually become more interested in you, because you're not trying so hard. But you might also find that she doesn't care that you've stopped pursuing her. That's a good sign that you were pursuing the wrong girl. It's probably time to take a break, and hope that you can get to know each other as friends over time.
Fifth, relax.
Be relaxed in your pursuit of your dream girl. Don't act like your entire happiness depends on her realizing how wonderful you are. Keep in mind there are plenty of girls in the world, some of whom will find you attractive and well worth their time.
Sixth, don't change who you are.
I know you like this girl a lot, but you don’t want a relationship that is this much work. You don't want to pretend to be someone else just to stay in a relationship. That's exhausting. You deserve someone who likes you just the way you are! Create healthy boundaries for yourself. Boundaries are emotional markers that clearly define where one person ends, and the other person begins.
Healthy boundaries allow you to be free to be yourself, and not feel like your happiness is dependent on what another person thinks about you.
God created you just the way you are. You are uniquely you with your talents, sense of humor, interests, and style. God designed you with a purpose and has great plans for you. Don't let a girl ever make you question if you are good enough and if you should change.
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
Do you put yourself down all the time? Want to stop? Read this checklist of 10 ways to increase your self-esteem for a healthier self-image.
One of my friends told me about a guy with me at work. He added me on fb, he is very shy. He wanted to start as friends to get to know each other better, then a bad event happened which stopped him to talk or even take any step. Its been almost 9 months since this issue. I dont see him talking any step, he told my friend that he has big issues with his family, he wants to finish this headache first and then go into a serious discussion about the relationship. The idea is that I get attached, I dont know him, he is not even start any conversation on fb or anything. He sometimes like some of my posts and sometimes no. My friend asked him if he is interested or not. He said yes but a lot of issues is taking place and I dont want to get into something serious with half head.
Is this true? Or Im trying to convenience myself? Is he really interested or he lost interest? Im really hurt and upset.
I stop as soon as there is a restraining order.
Immediately, if not sooner.
If he knows what's good for him.
Thank you
Recently I stated my feelings to my female friend. To my surprise she said she thinks about me every day. She said we have become very close. She said she cares about me and was falling in love with me. I held her in my arms kissed her on the lips and afterwards she said "we probably shouldn't be doing this."
I'm like huh? She just got done telling me she thought about me every day, said we've become close, was falling in love with me but we shouldn't kiss? I don't know if she is just stringing me along or what?
A few weeks ago I spent time with her as friends and the next morning she calls to talk and said "I shouldn't put this out there but last night I wanted to push you down on the couch, lay on top of you and cuddle."
We've been long time friends but have started hanging out more one on one the past month. She initiates phone contact 80% of the time but I'm wondering if this is only happening because she doesn't have any female friends, is bored and I'm just a convenience to her?
I don't want to play games but do I start ignoring her phone calls and return them a day or two later? We only see each other every other weekend so I really can't make her miss me other than cutting back on our daily phone conversations. This is so confusing. I don't want to walk away from a friendship, but I also do not like this uncertainty or find out one day she is seeing another guy.
It sounds like you have a really good friendship and that you are both having romantic feelings for each other. The best thing in any relationship is to communicate with each other. Great relationships are built on trust and honesty. You can't read each others' minds, so you have to talk it out and listen to each other. We have a free eBook about dating - two important sections you might want to read are "Take it slow" and "Show respect." https://info.thehopeline.com/relationships-dating
How did this play out? I hope u talked to her about your concerns and she was able to calm your fears.