There is value in being fearless and bold in the pursuit of your dreams. But for some guys, their dream is to date the most amazing girl they know to the point they don't know when to stop pursuing this dream.
So, let's have an honest look at when it may be time to give up.
How to Stop Pursuing Someone
Signs it May be Time to Stop Pursuing a Girl
In life, persistence often pays off. But when it comes to a guy pursuing a girl, it can be just plain confusing.
Danny wrote: There's this girl who I really like. But I have no idea whether she likes me or not. Sometimes she acts like she does, but other times she doesn't. I'm just confused.
Well, Danny - here are some obvious signs that it might be time to move on. But then keep reading for great tips on how to pursue a girl in a more appropriate way.
12 Signs to Move On
- When she obviously avoids you
- If you show an interest in her, but she seems to ignore you
- She acts one way around you, and another way around her friends
- No longer responds to your calls/texts/emails/snaps
- She asks you to stop
- Or tells you you're coming on too strong
- Your friends tell you to move on
- She talks to you about another guy she's interested in
- If she seems bothered, irritated or angry at you
- Your self-esteem starts to suffer for it
- You start to think you are going crazy about the whole situation
- If you're wondering if you should stop pursuing her, it's probably time.
Skye wrote: People need to use the common sense the good Lord gave them. When something in your head tells you not to do something, don't do it. You'll thank yourself later.
Roy wrote: Everyone I knew early on told us it would never work out, but I stayed with her to prove them wrong. In the end, it left me more broken and confused. Had I listened early on I would have saved myself a great deal of trouble and pain.
The most annoying guys are the ones who are convinced they have to be with this one particular girl, even though they might not even really know her. These guys are usually so strongly attracted to something about this girl, that he thinks he's in love before he even knows her.
Bottom line - if it is taking a lot of effort to get her interested and she is showing no indication she likes you, it is time to back off for both of your sakes.
How to Tell if a Girl Likes You
How Do Girls Show Signs of Interest?
This is one of those times in life where it’s best to just get the awkward part over with. Instead of trying to read “the signs,” go talk to her! Ask her how she feels, and be direct. Is that scary? Yes. Will it help you figure out what you need to know? Also yes.
Waiting around to see if you can interpret her interest level based on eye contact or emojis is a recipe for confusion, hurt feelings, anxiety, and a whoooooooole lot of time spent guessing that could have been spent dating!
There’s a catch, though: you have to accept her answer, whatever it is. If you approach her and ask if she’s interested in you or if she wants to go on a date, and she says “no,” you need to respect that. Don’t think that she said “no” and then continue reading into her body language, wondering if she was really playing hard to get. Take her at her word, give your feelings some time to recover from the rejection, and then start focusing on the good things you have going in your life.
Here are some things you could try saying, texting, or dming if you’re sure you’re ready to know, once and for all, if she’s interested:
“Hey ______, I really like talking to you, so I’m just gonna come right out and ask, would you go on a date with me?”
“I’m nervous, so I’m gonna spit it out—I like you. Do you like me back?”
“How would you feel about dating me? I think it would be really nice.”
“I like you. May I hold your hand?”
Don’t overthink it. You’ve got this.
So how can you pursue a girl in an appropriate way?
Relationships take time to develop. You can't force your way into someone else's life.
First, just seek to be friends.
Give yourself time to get to know her. But even more importantly, give her time to get to know you. You deserve someone who is interested in you, as well.
Second, don't act like your entire happiness depends on her realizing how wonderful you are.
That's a lot of pressure on a girl. She wants someone who is happy and confident in their own right.
Third, show her respect.
Most girls love to be pursued by a guy or viewed as someone special. Most of the time they appreciate a guy's persistence and confidence. But more than anything, a girl wants to be respected and valued. The more respect you can show as you pursue her, the better.
Fourth, give the chase a rest.
If you stop pursuing her, and give the chase a rest, you might find out the answer you're looking for. If she's interested in you, she may try to find out where you've been. She might actually become more interested in you, because you're not trying so hard. But you might also find that she doesn't care that you've stopped pursuing her. That's a good sign that you were pursuing the wrong girl. It's probably time to take a break, and hope that you can get to know each other as friends over time.
Fifth, relax.
Be relaxed in your pursuit of your dream girl. Don't act like your entire happiness depends on her realizing how wonderful you are. Keep in mind there are plenty of girls in the world, some of whom will find you attractive and well worth their time.
Sixth, don't change who you are.
I know you like this girl a lot, but you don’t want a relationship that is this much work. You don't want to pretend to be someone else just to stay in a relationship. That's exhausting. You deserve someone who likes you just the way you are! Create healthy boundaries for yourself. Boundaries are emotional markers that clearly define where one person ends, and the other person begins.
Healthy boundaries allow you to be free to be yourself, and not feel like your happiness is dependent on what another person thinks about you.
God created you just the way you are. You are uniquely you with your talents, sense of humor, interests, and style. God designed you with a purpose and has great plans for you. Don't let a girl ever make you question if you are good enough and if you should change.
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
Do you put yourself down all the time? Want to stop? Read this checklist of 10 ways to increase your self-esteem for a healthier self-image.
I've been chasing this girl for a while, over a year. We spend a lot of time together; texting, sometimes we go on dates. But I want to be more than just friends. She feels it might not work between us, she told me I don't have to wait for her. But she wants us to still be the same way we are. What should I do in this situation?
Over a year? Reckon she enjoyed the cappucinos and what not. Cowboy up, pardner. Find another little darlin' who wants to be YOUR little darlin', and meanwhile, tell the young lady who is not into that you wish her well and farewell. And let somebody else buy her drinks, because, at the end of the day, a woman is either into you or she's not. And she's not, but no worries, you'll find a sweetheart who digs you. For a man and a woman to get together, they have to be riding in the same direction. Two people, two horses but one direction, and that's right, that means together, on the same trail. The young lady who has made it clear that you are in her friend zone is not riding in the same direction, but you will find another woman--or she will find you.
The stars have to align sometimes. you and her both have to be ready for a commitment, and it has to be just right. if it's not, then it won't happen
Well I have my dreamgirl who I used to be friends with until I told her how I feel, before she used to show signs as if she likes me(as most of my closest friends would say) and now she is different, I baked her favourite cake and gave it to her bestfriend just yesterday, she didn't even accept it.. So your telling me if I stop pursuing her it will be hurtful? .but to the moderator, I don't want to give up on this girl what can I do?
Not the moderator, but I'll reply anyway. She may have some feelings for you but you've likely gone about showing your feelings in an 'unmanly' way. What I mean by that is girls don't respond well to guys who are pushovers and give them gifts randomly. She already knows you and thinks she has you figured out so you're interest level to her is down. Now you're giving her gifts, so to her, you've lost even more appeal. Don't give gifts without it being a holiday or something, even then tone it down. Make sure you are still living your own life without her. Another mistake is for guy's to fawn over the girl and be there too often. You need to regain some of your mystery and your own life. Go on dates with others whether you're into them or not. If she's interested, she'll ask you what you've been up to and when you tell her about your life she may or may not show interest. You'll need to gauge her response honestly.
Ouch. Im thinking of trying to keep pursuing my ex gf for another 3 months at best but if she still shows no interest by then or if I meet someone more interesting I will just quit. I dont wanna waste my life as well.
she asked me that question like a month ago. friends told me to play it cool and not text alot. did that but i dont think it went any where
Willie! Then you go some where!!
Engage by saying, " I've been going out with these fabulous girls who really are nice and caring!" Lol
Give up bro!!Your brain doing more work than it should! Your trying to hard. These girls these days are really weird and selfish. It's all about them..
I'm a girl and if someone took the time to make me my favourite cake I would definitely go on a date with them and give them a chance. That's awful she didn't see how thoughtful you are.
Ten years pursuing her, she knows, she said that she loves me, but she does not want me to waste my time with her, as if I have not wasted a life waiting. Time to get to say the final word and end this. For the first time I'll do as she always said, I'll move on.
If you are ever trapped in a nightmare, just wake up, nothing is worst than lying to yourself.
Set yourself free, and let her go...
it is good advice.thanks .I will do it from now.but also same time some woman have more quality on other.