There is value in being fearless and bold in the pursuit of your dreams. But for some guys, their dream is to date the most amazing girl they know to the point they don't know when to stop pursuing this dream.
So, let's have an honest look at when it may be time to give up.
How to Stop Pursuing Someone
Signs it May be Time to Stop Pursuing a Girl
In life, persistence often pays off. But when it comes to a guy pursuing a girl, it can be just plain confusing.
Danny wrote: There's this girl who I really like. But I have no idea whether she likes me or not. Sometimes she acts like she does, but other times she doesn't. I'm just confused.
Well, Danny - here are some obvious signs that it might be time to move on. But then keep reading for great tips on how to pursue a girl in a more appropriate way.
12 Signs to Move On
- When she obviously avoids you
- If you show an interest in her, but she seems to ignore you
- She acts one way around you, and another way around her friends
- No longer responds to your calls/texts/emails/snaps
- She asks you to stop
- Or tells you you're coming on too strong
- Your friends tell you to move on
- She talks to you about another guy she's interested in
- If she seems bothered, irritated or angry at you
- Your self-esteem starts to suffer for it
- You start to think you are going crazy about the whole situation
- If you're wondering if you should stop pursuing her, it's probably time.
Skye wrote: People need to use the common sense the good Lord gave them. When something in your head tells you not to do something, don't do it. You'll thank yourself later.
Roy wrote: Everyone I knew early on told us it would never work out, but I stayed with her to prove them wrong. In the end, it left me more broken and confused. Had I listened early on I would have saved myself a great deal of trouble and pain.
The most annoying guys are the ones who are convinced they have to be with this one particular girl, even though they might not even really know her. These guys are usually so strongly attracted to something about this girl, that he thinks he's in love before he even knows her.
Bottom line - if it is taking a lot of effort to get her interested and she is showing no indication she likes you, it is time to back off for both of your sakes.
How to Tell if a Girl Likes You
How Do Girls Show Signs of Interest?
This is one of those times in life where it’s best to just get the awkward part over with. Instead of trying to read “the signs,” go talk to her! Ask her how she feels, and be direct. Is that scary? Yes. Will it help you figure out what you need to know? Also yes.
Waiting around to see if you can interpret her interest level based on eye contact or emojis is a recipe for confusion, hurt feelings, anxiety, and a whoooooooole lot of time spent guessing that could have been spent dating!
There’s a catch, though: you have to accept her answer, whatever it is. If you approach her and ask if she’s interested in you or if she wants to go on a date, and she says “no,” you need to respect that. Don’t think that she said “no” and then continue reading into her body language, wondering if she was really playing hard to get. Take her at her word, give your feelings some time to recover from the rejection, and then start focusing on the good things you have going in your life.
Here are some things you could try saying, texting, or dming if you’re sure you’re ready to know, once and for all, if she’s interested:
“Hey ______, I really like talking to you, so I’m just gonna come right out and ask, would you go on a date with me?”
“I’m nervous, so I’m gonna spit it out—I like you. Do you like me back?”
“How would you feel about dating me? I think it would be really nice.”
“I like you. May I hold your hand?”
Don’t overthink it. You’ve got this.
So how can you pursue a girl in an appropriate way?
Relationships take time to develop. You can't force your way into someone else's life.
First, just seek to be friends.
Give yourself time to get to know her. But even more importantly, give her time to get to know you. You deserve someone who is interested in you, as well.
Second, don't act like your entire happiness depends on her realizing how wonderful you are.
That's a lot of pressure on a girl. She wants someone who is happy and confident in their own right.
Third, show her respect.
Most girls love to be pursued by a guy or viewed as someone special. Most of the time they appreciate a guy's persistence and confidence. But more than anything, a girl wants to be respected and valued. The more respect you can show as you pursue her, the better.
Fourth, give the chase a rest.
If you stop pursuing her, and give the chase a rest, you might find out the answer you're looking for. If she's interested in you, she may try to find out where you've been. She might actually become more interested in you, because you're not trying so hard. But you might also find that she doesn't care that you've stopped pursuing her. That's a good sign that you were pursuing the wrong girl. It's probably time to take a break, and hope that you can get to know each other as friends over time.
Fifth, relax.
Be relaxed in your pursuit of your dream girl. Don't act like your entire happiness depends on her realizing how wonderful you are. Keep in mind there are plenty of girls in the world, some of whom will find you attractive and well worth their time.
Sixth, don't change who you are.
I know you like this girl a lot, but you don’t want a relationship that is this much work. You don't want to pretend to be someone else just to stay in a relationship. That's exhausting. You deserve someone who likes you just the way you are! Create healthy boundaries for yourself. Boundaries are emotional markers that clearly define where one person ends, and the other person begins.
Healthy boundaries allow you to be free to be yourself, and not feel like your happiness is dependent on what another person thinks about you.
God created you just the way you are. You are uniquely you with your talents, sense of humor, interests, and style. God designed you with a purpose and has great plans for you. Don't let a girl ever make you question if you are good enough and if you should change.
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
Do you put yourself down all the time? Want to stop? Read this checklist of 10 ways to increase your self-esteem for a healthier self-image.
My girl tells me she has feelings for me but she doesnt want to be in a relation
This girl I like used to snapchat me a lot. Like a mean a lot. She gave me 2 high-fives in 5 minutes, and she calls my name from across the hallway. Once, she told me that she was tired, but she was snap chatting her boyfriend, so I asked her who her boyfriend was. She said she didn't have one, but I think she was talking about me. She asked me for my phone number as well. Now about a month has passed, and she doesn't talk to me as much anymore. We still walk together in the hallway and talk, but she doesn't give me high-fives, or call my name across the hall. I am so confused on whether she likes me or not. Could you guys tell me your opinions? Does she still like me after a month has passed? What should I do?
I liked her first . Then i get her # . So we texted . Then , we became friends . But She liked me that time . She gives signs that she like me . But sometimes , she is getting cold to me . And sometimes she gives an excuse like " Im gonna eat . brb . and she will not gonna text me . Im so confused if she still likes me or not.
I know a girl for a month. We study together in the same university and so meet a lot in bus. I have had a few crush before which came and passed and I was never bothered. But this is an exception. I felt strong attraction towards the girl. I talked to her only a few words here and there for a few days, then I began to madly chase her. I would catch the same bus in which she is travelling and wave her "hi", she would smile and return with a "hi". Then 1 week ago we were standing side by side on our bus ride as the bus was crowded and all seats were occupied. We chatted together the whole journey like old friends. She even said that we would continue our conversation later. We chat on facebook where we exchanged numbers. We texted sometimes like "good morning" and "good night". I show her all the interest to let her know how I feel about her. Life is really good. I don't look at any other girl and have lost interest totally in other activities like watching TV or movies or videos. She is in my mind all the time from waking up in the morning till the moment I go to sleep, and even she has occupied my dreams. i know I won't be able to feel the same about any other girl. I love this girl, but I don't know if she loves me or not. But I don't even care, when I fell in love with her I didn't ask her permission or didn't sign a contract that she has to love me back. We cant help whom we fall in love with. She is very special to me and I will always keep her happy whether be as a lover or just a friend. I love you Love
okay question im bestfriends with a girl and have been for omost 6 years now. but she tells me shes in love with me and i tell her that too. but for some reason after we started dateing shes been kinda wierd about things in person she would hug kiss and all that other good stuff. but when shes home i try to be sweet with her and txt her but she only responds with awe. nothing els shes been kind of distant. but the thing is shes been mean about it too. ive already told her if she didint start tryin more i would give up and move on. then shes like okay ill try harder. but then the next day its right back the way it is. my sister says she playin with my heart and really does not care should i listen