1. Do You Truly Hate Yourself?
Self-hate is a dark, black hole in our soul that can be easy to fall into, but difficult to get out of. Last week I wrote about some of the reasons why people hate themselves. I want to give you some things to do when you feel like you hate yourself and you say things like, "I hate myself, I'm no good, I'm so stupid, or I'm worthless."
The truth is you are NONE of those things. But it's easy to think you are, especially if you have been believing all these negative thoughts about yourself.
So, what do you do to climb out of the dark hole in your soul?
2. Decide what you want to change about yourself
Nobody can make you love you other than you! It's your responsibility to rearrange your thinking away from all the negative stuff you've been thinking and think more positive thoughts about yourself. It's often been said, "If I think better, I will act better. And if I act better, I will feel better."
Cody wrote: I've found that sometimes our greatest enemy is ourselves. And the way we think can hurt worse than any words. And when left with nothing but your own thoughts, and if those thoughts are negative, self-hate is born.
It takes a real effort to turn negative self-defeating thoughts into positive life-changing ones. But try it! And if you stick with it, you soon will see you're feeling better about yourself.
If you don't like something about yourself that you can actually change, start to do that today.
3. Figure out what you CAN change and do it!
IF you hate yourself, is there a specific thing that you hate? If you don't like something about yourself that you can actually change, start to do that today. Maybe you don't like your weight you can start eating properly and getting exercise TODAY! Get involved with a sport or a favorite hobby. You'll be amazed by how good it makes you feel to take care of yourself.
Don't obsess over what you think are your flaws. Work on what you can change and ask God to help you accept the rest. Create the healthy life you desire (and deserve!) some people get trapped living miserable lives, not realizing they have the ability to change their situation. Don't get stuck in that trap!
4. Build up your self-esteem by making a list of your 10 best qualities:
Can't think of 10? There are more than you think but try starting with one. For example, I am a loyal friend or I care about others, or I am in touch with how I feel, or I have a lot to offer my friends, or I am a good listener, etc.
Find out what your friends and family value about you. You might be surprised to find out what the people who love you see in you! As you begin to dwell on the good things you offer, your confidence will grow.
Others will take note of it because you will have made yourself more attractive.
Betsy wrote: Since I stood up for something, people started to respect me and I was able to find confidence in myself. You can't please everyone, so focus on making yourself proud before you expect anyone else to be proud of you.
Each day, find something to do that makes you feel proud of yourself. Discover the things you love, try new things, go to new places. Make some short-term and long-term goals.
Decide that you will never say the words, "I Hate Myself" ever again. Those words are toxic. Why hate yourself? When in reality there is a lot in you worth loving.
5. Use gratitude as a weapon against self-hatred
You will find people who dwell on the positive things in their life...things for which they are grateful, are usually much happier than those who don't.
Negative thoughts, mixed with worry, make a person miserable to live with.
So, if you are tired of hearing the same old, negative thoughts, make a daily list of the things you are grateful for, and you'll be surprised at how quickly your attitude begins to change.
Challenge yourself to reflect each day for just a minute or two about what you feel grateful for that day...maybe it was delicious pancakes for breakfast, a smile from a friend, nice weather, could be something as simple as the color of the grass, or a good grade on a quiz. It doesn't have to be what you know you should be thankful for, but something that you actually feel grateful for.
Remember God loves you
The most powerful way to overcome self-hate is to focus on God's love. After all, if God loves you, and He does with all of your faults and hurts, it should make it easier for us to accept ourselves. Let God change what He wants to change, and you'll feel much better about your life.
God made you very unique. And it's this uniqueness that makes you special.
Please stop hating someone God loves so much. YOU!!
Angie wrote: It's very easy to find reasons to believe I am of no value to anyone, or to God. But I am of value because God loves me, even if no one else does.
As you start believing in yourself more, you'll have more good days than bad. It's easy to find the negative, so look for the positive in each situation. And most importantly, keep your faith in God this will help lead you to the happiness you seek. Please stop hating someone God loves so much. YOU!!
Don't stay in that place of self-hate, it's going to take time to change what you think about yourself but it's possible. Check out one of my other blogs about self-hate: Why Do You Hate Yourself.
And check out this blog to start to begin to change this part of your life: 6 Steps To Change Your Life.
You're not worthless.
I thought I finally love myself. But it's so hard do it when I hear how my parents think I'm not doing anything at all with my life when I am trying. It just makes it worse and I feel like disappearing forever, but of course I don't know how to do that.
If God is real he's supposed to know the future right? Well if that's the case he knows who is going to he'll and who isn't. I don't believe in God but, If he's real I have accepted I am just a example for someone who will go to heaven cause I won't.
Everyday I think about suicide. I'm just too scared of what might happen. Hopefully I can overcome that fear so I can finally do it and be happy.
I asked one to many questions about human nature and now I am stuck with the truth for life. Love isn't real. People just keep you around to fulfill their needs. Change and they're gone.
Society just follows authority blindly and copies what others do. Like religion. We're all just clones of each other. This is so depressing.
I'll never have a wife or even a girlfriend. I'll never have a job I enjoy. I'll never be special. I'll never force myself to believe the lie that these things are not true. Oh well. Boo hoo. Not having any expectations is the best thing for me because I always fail.
You are going to be a strong person and able to help others who have been thru what you've been thru. It's ok to grieve and to hurt. The healing will begin and part of that will be helping heal others. I am so glad you posted. I can almost feel the pain and desperation even though it's just a post! I've been victimized in some terrible ways and have had to make myself keep taking one step at a time FORWARD. It is tough not to look back... I catch myself doing it all the time...but when I look forward and let myself be open...great people and great circumstances cross my path. The same will happen for you.
You are a gift.
*hugs*
Pain...then numbness,twisting thoughts of the passed and future,when i was younger i learned to shut most of my feelings down but not all i had to leave a releaf valve to vent so i would not crack,when i joined the army they helped renforce this to almost perfection,so for almost 20yrs i didnot feel anyting but anger,rage..well thats what i turned the pain in too,no love,no remorse or regret,long story short i've bin married for 16yrs now last five ive bin trying to open up my feeling to improve my relationship with my wife..i know i love my wife but every time i go to open the door to my feelings, i start where i did almost 20yrs ago, and i was in love with some one else then and that where my pain starts,just crack the door and all hell breaks loose know im fighting through mental and phyical exghustsion just trying to close that door!!!!!; hate myself? ya ido, the passed has a way of catching you and being human and shuting down your feeling you just pick up right where you left off just like an alcholic you could be sober for 10yrs but just have that 1 sip and its like you never stopped drinking, im finding emotion are the same way, if i had uderstood this yrs ago i would not have gotten married,so unfair to my wife,im so fucking numb now i dont want to go though what i felt yrs ago, well ill stop rambling..how do i move on...i cant,... i do believe in christ my lord and saviour he has intervined twice that i know of for sure,who knows how many i dont know, i try to leave this issue at he's feet, but i wounder if im to be punished, to have to deal with my emotions, i do not belive i can i feel it will kill me...i have to leave the door locked.