1. Do You Truly Hate Yourself?
Self-hate is a dark, black hole in our soul that can be easy to fall into, but difficult to get out of. Last week I wrote about some of the reasons why people hate themselves. I want to give you some things to do when you feel like you hate yourself and you say things like, "I hate myself, I'm no good, I'm so stupid, or I'm worthless."
The truth is you are NONE of those things. But it's easy to think you are, especially if you have been believing all these negative thoughts about yourself.
So, what do you do to climb out of the dark hole in your soul?
2. Decide what you want to change about yourself
Nobody can make you love you other than you! It's your responsibility to rearrange your thinking away from all the negative stuff you've been thinking and think more positive thoughts about yourself. It's often been said, "If I think better, I will act better. And if I act better, I will feel better."
Cody wrote: I've found that sometimes our greatest enemy is ourselves. And the way we think can hurt worse than any words. And when left with nothing but your own thoughts, and if those thoughts are negative, self-hate is born.
It takes a real effort to turn negative self-defeating thoughts into positive life-changing ones. But try it! And if you stick with it, you soon will see you're feeling better about yourself.
If you don't like something about yourself that you can actually change, start to do that today.
3. Figure out what you CAN change and do it!
IF you hate yourself, is there a specific thing that you hate? If you don't like something about yourself that you can actually change, start to do that today. Maybe you don't like your weight you can start eating properly and getting exercise TODAY! Get involved with a sport or a favorite hobby. You'll be amazed by how good it makes you feel to take care of yourself.
Don't obsess over what you think are your flaws. Work on what you can change and ask God to help you accept the rest. Create the healthy life you desire (and deserve!) some people get trapped living miserable lives, not realizing they have the ability to change their situation. Don't get stuck in that trap!
4. Build up your self-esteem by making a list of your 10 best qualities:
Can't think of 10? There are more than you think but try starting with one. For example, I am a loyal friend or I care about others, or I am in touch with how I feel, or I have a lot to offer my friends, or I am a good listener, etc.
Find out what your friends and family value about you. You might be surprised to find out what the people who love you see in you! As you begin to dwell on the good things you offer, your confidence will grow.
Others will take note of it because you will have made yourself more attractive.
Betsy wrote: Since I stood up for something, people started to respect me and I was able to find confidence in myself. You can't please everyone, so focus on making yourself proud before you expect anyone else to be proud of you.
Each day, find something to do that makes you feel proud of yourself. Discover the things you love, try new things, go to new places. Make some short-term and long-term goals.
Decide that you will never say the words, "I Hate Myself" ever again. Those words are toxic. Why hate yourself? When in reality there is a lot in you worth loving.
5. Use gratitude as a weapon against self-hatred
You will find people who dwell on the positive things in their life...things for which they are grateful, are usually much happier than those who don't.
Negative thoughts, mixed with worry, make a person miserable to live with.
So, if you are tired of hearing the same old, negative thoughts, make a daily list of the things you are grateful for, and you'll be surprised at how quickly your attitude begins to change.
Challenge yourself to reflect each day for just a minute or two about what you feel grateful for that day...maybe it was delicious pancakes for breakfast, a smile from a friend, nice weather, could be something as simple as the color of the grass, or a good grade on a quiz. It doesn't have to be what you know you should be thankful for, but something that you actually feel grateful for.
Remember God loves you
The most powerful way to overcome self-hate is to focus on God's love. After all, if God loves you, and He does with all of your faults and hurts, it should make it easier for us to accept ourselves. Let God change what He wants to change, and you'll feel much better about your life.
God made you very unique. And it's this uniqueness that makes you special.
Please stop hating someone God loves so much. YOU!!
Angie wrote: It's very easy to find reasons to believe I am of no value to anyone, or to God. But I am of value because God loves me, even if no one else does.
As you start believing in yourself more, you'll have more good days than bad. It's easy to find the negative, so look for the positive in each situation. And most importantly, keep your faith in God this will help lead you to the happiness you seek. Please stop hating someone God loves so much. YOU!!
Don't stay in that place of self-hate, it's going to take time to change what you think about yourself but it's possible. Check out one of my other blogs about self-hate: Why Do You Hate Yourself.
And check out this blog to start to begin to change this part of your life: 6 Steps To Change Your Life.
I always feel like my life is designed to be an anti-protagonist of someone else's life because every time I do something that think was good is actually bad and to the fact that I make people sad and miserable which leads me to question my self "why did I do this in the first place, I should have not done that and stayed away." Each time I get scolded from my mom or grandfather I always think to myself "are my problems worth attending? am I worth attending? because all I see is failure! Failure to reach there expectations, failure to satisfy my selfish needs, failure that I can't do well in school, Failure when it comes to making friends, and failure when it comes to positive thinking! When mess up big time I always say to my self that "I HATE MY SELF, I'm a failure, what is it about me that is worth praising? I don't see anything that is good about me, why do my family say they love me but I don't see anything that is worth loving about myself." I bully my self and think that why should I worry about my problems if my problems are so simple that even Einstein can provide a solution for me, even doe it hurts and my heart feels a lot of pain why should I care about my own personal problems its not like its gonna help other people and besides who would have time to listen to problems anyway, other peoples problems are bigger than mine.
I secretly have a girlfriend and my parents are homophobic and they're constantly bashing me even though they don't know it. . . it's hard not to hate myself for being how I am but I can't just up and change it.
I hate myself because I am not like my family.
I need help i hat myself because i did something very stupid and bad that could have hurt someone and know my family hates me. They never said they hated me they act like it though please help me.I cant go on like this anymore.HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't have anyone to share my pain and dreams.
What if my problems is I can't achieve my goals that I set for myself because I'm a stupid, lazy, useless person?
I don't get how I can love myself.
The things that are not what I expect is myself.
My problems are the reason why I can't do many things like the ones you mentioned.
Thanks for the encouragement anyway.