1. Do You Truly Hate Yourself?
Self-hate is a dark, black hole in our soul that can be easy to fall into, but difficult to get out of. Last week I wrote about some of the reasons why people hate themselves. I want to give you some things to do when you feel like you hate yourself and you say things like, "I hate myself, I'm no good, I'm so stupid, or I'm worthless."
The truth is you are NONE of those things. But it's easy to think you are, especially if you have been believing all these negative thoughts about yourself.
So, what do you do to climb out of the dark hole in your soul?
2. Decide what you want to change about yourself
Nobody can make you love you other than you! It's your responsibility to rearrange your thinking away from all the negative stuff you've been thinking and think more positive thoughts about yourself. It's often been said, "If I think better, I will act better. And if I act better, I will feel better."
Cody wrote: I've found that sometimes our greatest enemy is ourselves. And the way we think can hurt worse than any words. And when left with nothing but your own thoughts, and if those thoughts are negative, self-hate is born.
It takes a real effort to turn negative self-defeating thoughts into positive life-changing ones. But try it! And if you stick with it, you soon will see you're feeling better about yourself.
If you don't like something about yourself that you can actually change, start to do that today.
3. Figure out what you CAN change and do it!
IF you hate yourself, is there a specific thing that you hate? If you don't like something about yourself that you can actually change, start to do that today. Maybe you don't like your weight you can start eating properly and getting exercise TODAY! Get involved with a sport or a favorite hobby. You'll be amazed by how good it makes you feel to take care of yourself.
Don't obsess over what you think are your flaws. Work on what you can change and ask God to help you accept the rest. Create the healthy life you desire (and deserve!) some people get trapped living miserable lives, not realizing they have the ability to change their situation. Don't get stuck in that trap!
4. Build up your self-esteem by making a list of your 10 best qualities:
Can't think of 10? There are more than you think but try starting with one. For example, I am a loyal friend or I care about others, or I am in touch with how I feel, or I have a lot to offer my friends, or I am a good listener, etc.
Find out what your friends and family value about you. You might be surprised to find out what the people who love you see in you! As you begin to dwell on the good things you offer, your confidence will grow.
Others will take note of it because you will have made yourself more attractive.
Betsy wrote: Since I stood up for something, people started to respect me and I was able to find confidence in myself. You can't please everyone, so focus on making yourself proud before you expect anyone else to be proud of you.
Each day, find something to do that makes you feel proud of yourself. Discover the things you love, try new things, go to new places. Make some short-term and long-term goals.
Decide that you will never say the words, "I Hate Myself" ever again. Those words are toxic. Why hate yourself? When in reality there is a lot in you worth loving.
5. Use gratitude as a weapon against self-hatred
You will find people who dwell on the positive things in their life...things for which they are grateful, are usually much happier than those who don't.
Negative thoughts, mixed with worry, make a person miserable to live with.
So, if you are tired of hearing the same old, negative thoughts, make a daily list of the things you are grateful for, and you'll be surprised at how quickly your attitude begins to change.
Challenge yourself to reflect each day for just a minute or two about what you feel grateful for that day...maybe it was delicious pancakes for breakfast, a smile from a friend, nice weather, could be something as simple as the color of the grass, or a good grade on a quiz. It doesn't have to be what you know you should be thankful for, but something that you actually feel grateful for.
Remember God loves you
The most powerful way to overcome self-hate is to focus on God's love. After all, if God loves you, and He does with all of your faults and hurts, it should make it easier for us to accept ourselves. Let God change what He wants to change, and you'll feel much better about your life.
God made you very unique. And it's this uniqueness that makes you special.
Please stop hating someone God loves so much. YOU!!
Angie wrote: It's very easy to find reasons to believe I am of no value to anyone, or to God. But I am of value because God loves me, even if no one else does.
As you start believing in yourself more, you'll have more good days than bad. It's easy to find the negative, so look for the positive in each situation. And most importantly, keep your faith in God this will help lead you to the happiness you seek. Please stop hating someone God loves so much. YOU!!
Don't stay in that place of self-hate, it's going to take time to change what you think about yourself but it's possible. Check out one of my other blogs about self-hate: Why Do You Hate Yourself.
And check out this blog to start to begin to change this part of your life: 6 Steps To Change Your Life.
The evidence is now. That life is not easy. But eternal life is. Hurting yourself or others only brings about darkness and God is all about the light. Keep reaching out for the good. Even when things go bad. And if you mess up, you can get back up and show that darkness that you do not belong to it. But only want proof of Gods existance. eep searching and you will find it.
I know that religon can really help people some time but i find it insulting that "remeber god loves you" is on a list having to do with self hate. A lot of the time the people with the most self hate problems are the people who your Christian god hates. I wish that i could find a place were i can find help without people pushing there religon down my throat. All my life ive been told that im bad and worthless for 1. My mom working as a "unholy" stripper 2.ive been that im wrong no matter what on my opion about god not existing. Every time i look for help i just get bombarded with religious propaganda and im sick of it.
Lily, I am really angry that "Christian" people have made you feel like you are bad and worthless. They have lied to you about who God is. Their religion with messages like that is not the real true Christianity. In true Christianity we recognize that everyone has imperfections, struggles, and sins..and no sin is worse than any other. Those who gossip are just as sinful as a stripper. God's love, grace, and forgiveness is for everyone. Did you know the Bible says that "while we were sinners" Christ died for us. We don't have to clean ourselves up to come to God and receive His love. Lily, I hope that you come to understand how very much you are loved and valued.
I really like the book of Ephesians and here is some of what it says, "But because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved..... in order that in the coming ages He might show the incomparable riches of His grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God......For YOU, LILY, are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for YOU to do."
Lily, you are a special, unique, and wonderful young lady!!! Don't let anyone tell you differently.
If you want to talk more about this our HopeCoaches are here for you 24/7 - click on the "chat now" button at the top of our website or go to this link - https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp We believe in you!!!!!!
Hi.. My name is Bernadette and I suffer from self-hatred. I was bullied for being mixed race and my mother would tell me that I'm a useless piece of trash. I began to believe her and I act like I am that. I lost many friends because of that. Now i am living with my dad and i couldn't be happier. I was reading the other stories on here and I realized that I have no reason to hate myself and neither do you guys. You all are perfect in your own way, even if it is imperfect to society.
Hi! Umm im all new to this thing. My name is keyana but my friemds call me keke. So im suffered my whole life telling my self im stupid im not nothing im ugly and other things like that. But what i didnt know is that im stupid. Well at least i think i have 2 bad grades and i feel so lost inside like how did i get a bad grade in health and i rasie my hand but the teacher dont call on me. And in math its just hard. Im in middle school. And all my entire life i told my self im not nothing in this world. But i havent evwn meet the real world i jist meet half of it. Bit i grew up not knowimg my father. Thats why i go to therapy bit it seems to not work.
Keke, please don't let a couple of bad grades define who you are. You are more than your grades and I imagine you have made good grades, too, especially in classes you may like better. Chat with a HopeCoach anytime 24/7 - we want to encourage you and we want to listen. You can click the "chat now" button or go to this link https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp Keke, you matter to us!
hi! thank you so much for your post. it lifts up my spirit and makes me want to change myself for the better. i sometimes feel so stupid of myself becus of my actions in school that always made me embarassed myself in school. sometimes it feels as if i dont want to go to school to avoid being embarassed again. but after seeing this i realise i should change and appreciate the goood little things that happen in life THANK YOU