What To Do When You Hate Yourself - 5 Tips

1. Do You Truly Hate Yourself?

Self-hate is a dark, black hole in our soul that can be easy to fall into, but difficult to get out of. Last week I wrote about some of the reasons why people hate themselves. I want to give you some things to do when you feel like you hate yourself and you say things like, "I hate myself, I'm no good, I'm so stupid, or I'm worthless."

The truth is you are NONE of those things. But it's easy to think you are, especially if you have been believing all these negative thoughts about yourself.

So, what do you do to climb out of the dark hole in your soul?

2. Decide what you want to change about yourself

Nobody can make you love you other than you! It's your responsibility to rearrange your thinking away from all the negative stuff you've been thinking and think more positive thoughts about yourself. It's often been said, "If I think better, I will act better. And if I act better, I will feel better."

Cody wrote: I've found that sometimes our greatest enemy is ourselves. And the way we think can hurt worse than any words. And when left with nothing but your own thoughts, and if those thoughts are negative, self-hate is born.

It takes a real effort to turn negative self-defeating thoughts into positive life-changing ones. But try it! And if you stick with it, you soon will see you're feeling better about yourself.

If you don't like something about yourself that you can actually change, start to do that today.

3. Figure out what you CAN change and do it!

IF you hate yourself, is there a specific thing that you hate? If you don't like something about yourself that you can actually change, start to do that today. Maybe you don't like your weight you can start eating properly and getting exercise TODAY! Get involved with a sport or a favorite hobby. You'll be amazed by how good it makes you feel to take care of yourself.

Don't obsess over what you think are your flaws. Work on what you can change and ask God to help you accept the rest. Create the healthy life you desire (and deserve!) some people get trapped living miserable lives, not realizing they have the ability to change their situation. Don't get stuck in that trap!

4. Build up your self-esteem by making a list of your 10 best qualities:

Can't think of 10? There are more than you think but try starting with one. For example, I am a loyal friend or I care about others, or I am in touch with how I feel, or I have a lot to offer my friends, or I am a good listener, etc.

Find out what your friends and family value about you. You might be surprised to find out what the people who love you see in you! As you begin to dwell on the good things you offer, your confidence will grow.

Others will take note of it because you will have made yourself more attractive.

Betsy wrote: Since I stood up for something, people started to respect me and I was able to find confidence in myself. You can't please everyone, so focus on making yourself proud before you expect anyone else to be proud of you.
Each day, find something to do that makes you feel proud of yourself. Discover the things you love, try new things, go to new places. Make some short-term and long-term goals.

Decide that you will never say the words, "I Hate Myself" ever again. Those words are toxic. Why hate yourself? When in reality there is a lot in you worth loving.

5. Use gratitude as a weapon against self-hatred

You will find people who dwell on the positive things in their life...things for which they are grateful, are usually much happier than those who don't.

Negative thoughts, mixed with worry, make a person miserable to live with.

So, if you are tired of hearing the same old, negative thoughts, make a daily list of the things you are grateful for, and you'll be surprised at how quickly your attitude begins to change.

Challenge yourself to reflect each day for just a minute or two about what you feel grateful for that day...maybe it was delicious pancakes for breakfast, a smile from a friend, nice weather, could be something as simple as the color of the grass, or a good grade on a quiz. It doesn't have to be what you know you should be thankful for, but something that you actually feel grateful for.

Remember God loves you

The most powerful way to overcome self-hate is to focus on God's love. After all, if God loves you, and He does with all of your faults and hurts, it should make it easier for us to accept ourselves. Let God change what He wants to change, and you'll feel much better about your life.

God made you very unique. And it's this uniqueness that makes you special.

Please stop hating someone God loves so much. YOU!!

Angie wrote: It's very easy to find reasons to believe I am of no value to anyone, or to God. But I am of value because God loves me, even if no one else does.

As you start believing in yourself more, you'll have more good days than bad. It's easy to find the negative, so look for the positive in each situation. And most importantly, keep your faith in God this will help lead you to the happiness you seek. Please stop hating someone God loves so much. YOU!!

Don't stay in that place of self-hate, it's going to take time to change what you think about yourself but it's possible.  Check out one of my other blogs about self-hate: Why Do You Hate Yourself.

And check out this blog to start to begin to change this part of your life: 6 Steps To Change Your Life.

Dawson McAllister
Dawson McAllister, also known as America's youth pastor, was an author, radio host, speaker, and founder of TheHopeLine. McAllister attended Bethel College in Minnesota for undergraduate work where he graduated in 1968, began graduate studies at Talbot School of Theology in California, and received an honorary doctorate from Biola University.
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432 comments on “What To Do When You Hate Yourself - 5 Tips”

    1. ... Being an atheist isn't synonymous with "being angry at God". The term atheist actually means not believing such a being exists... One cannot be angry at an entity they don't believe in..........

      1. Sarah, people have a reason for not believing in God. I respect those whose choice is to be atheist. No matter what you believe in though, the God I believe in loves you no matter what you've done or said. We are all fighting a battle. My battle is that my parents are divorced and they are going through a custody battle that never seems to end. Not to mention, I am in love with someone who doesn't love me and it's my fault he doesn't love me. So yes I hate myself a lot of the time and get depressed easily. But I am lucky because my friends(other than him) and even my parents still accept me and love me for who I am. I needed the hope line a lot since about third grade(progressingly worse since then). This year I am trying out for cheerleading and volleyball. I'm trying to change what I dislike about myself. I hope this helps!

        1. Its because of people like you that I'm an athiest. If I don't believe in God, I'd rather not have people telling me that this entity I don't have faith in loves me.

      2. A large number of atheists do though! Why else do they become so offended and hostile at the mere mention of His name?

        1. I believe Atheists (or at least most Atheists) don't get offended whenever someone says God or
          Jesus, because I think they hear those names alot, but it's used in a
          surprised context, not a religious one. ("Oh my God!", "Jesus Christ!",
          "God!", "OMG", "OMFG", ect.) However, when people of religion insult us
          and say horrible things about us (like the Fox & Friends Woman who
          said "If they don't like it, they can just leave."), THEN we have a
          right to get offended and hostile. I'm pretty sure people of religion
          would act the same way if someone said that about their religion,
          wouldn't they?

        2. hmm, it looks like you've had some bad encounters with ahtiests. try to ignore, but also keep in mind that not all athiests want to mention god or get angry. Just the same as christians, some of them want to go to church some of them don't want to. I have a catholic grandfather and a christian grandmother, they however do mention god to me but don't force feed it to me, they don't really go to church anymore since they were 40 (They're now 85-7) so yeah.

  1. god abandoned me, if god loves me so much how about i go and see him and ask him why he let me be tortured for years and made me experience what no 17 yo should have to go through

    1. 17 i was raped he took my virginity may i add im a pastors dauther got married at 18 my husband died in bed with me sleeped all night to wake up to a corpes so much more to long to list BUT I GAVE IN AND SERVED HIM JESUS well its my testmony im healed set free and so much more happened to me to bad to say but hes always there its up to us who wee will serve him or satan and im telling you he thinks no more of me then you he loves you He came to set the captives free your mess is your testimony that is going to help other ppl only god can heal you

    2. God didn't abandon you, he only put you in special situations as a test , to see how would you react ,really God exists , don't think that way. Every bad thing happens in your life or in the world has a reason . And after that bad things , comes good things!!

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