What To Do When You Hate Yourself - 5 Tips

1. Do You Truly Hate Yourself?

Self-hate is a dark, black hole in our soul that can be easy to fall into, but difficult to get out of. Last week I wrote about some of the reasons why people hate themselves. I want to give you some things to do when you feel like you hate yourself and you say things like, "I hate myself, I'm no good, I'm so stupid, or I'm worthless."

The truth is you are NONE of those things. But it's easy to think you are, especially if you have been believing all these negative thoughts about yourself.

So, what do you do to climb out of the dark hole in your soul?

2. Decide what you want to change about yourself

Nobody can make you love you other than you! It's your responsibility to rearrange your thinking away from all the negative stuff you've been thinking and think more positive thoughts about yourself. It's often been said, "If I think better, I will act better. And if I act better, I will feel better."

Cody wrote: I've found that sometimes our greatest enemy is ourselves. And the way we think can hurt worse than any words. And when left with nothing but your own thoughts, and if those thoughts are negative, self-hate is born.

It takes a real effort to turn negative self-defeating thoughts into positive life-changing ones. But try it! And if you stick with it, you soon will see you're feeling better about yourself.

If you don't like something about yourself that you can actually change, start to do that today.

3. Figure out what you CAN change and do it!

IF you hate yourself, is there a specific thing that you hate? If you don't like something about yourself that you can actually change, start to do that today. Maybe you don't like your weight you can start eating properly and getting exercise TODAY! Get involved with a sport or a favorite hobby. You'll be amazed by how good it makes you feel to take care of yourself.

Don't obsess over what you think are your flaws. Work on what you can change and ask God to help you accept the rest. Create the healthy life you desire (and deserve!) some people get trapped living miserable lives, not realizing they have the ability to change their situation. Don't get stuck in that trap!

4. Build up your self-esteem by making a list of your 10 best qualities:

Can't think of 10? There are more than you think but try starting with one. For example, I am a loyal friend or I care about others, or I am in touch with how I feel, or I have a lot to offer my friends, or I am a good listener, etc.

Find out what your friends and family value about you. You might be surprised to find out what the people who love you see in you! As you begin to dwell on the good things you offer, your confidence will grow.

Others will take note of it because you will have made yourself more attractive.

Betsy wrote: Since I stood up for something, people started to respect me and I was able to find confidence in myself. You can't please everyone, so focus on making yourself proud before you expect anyone else to be proud of you.
Each day, find something to do that makes you feel proud of yourself. Discover the things you love, try new things, go to new places. Make some short-term and long-term goals.

Decide that you will never say the words, "I Hate Myself" ever again. Those words are toxic. Why hate yourself? When in reality there is a lot in you worth loving.

5. Use gratitude as a weapon against self-hatred

You will find people who dwell on the positive things in their life...things for which they are grateful, are usually much happier than those who don't.

Negative thoughts, mixed with worry, make a person miserable to live with.

So, if you are tired of hearing the same old, negative thoughts, make a daily list of the things you are grateful for, and you'll be surprised at how quickly your attitude begins to change.

Challenge yourself to reflect each day for just a minute or two about what you feel grateful for that day...maybe it was delicious pancakes for breakfast, a smile from a friend, nice weather, could be something as simple as the color of the grass, or a good grade on a quiz. It doesn't have to be what you know you should be thankful for, but something that you actually feel grateful for.

Remember God loves you

The most powerful way to overcome self-hate is to focus on God's love. After all, if God loves you, and He does with all of your faults and hurts, it should make it easier for us to accept ourselves. Let God change what He wants to change, and you'll feel much better about your life.

God made you very unique. And it's this uniqueness that makes you special.

Please stop hating someone God loves so much. YOU!!

Angie wrote: It's very easy to find reasons to believe I am of no value to anyone, or to God. But I am of value because God loves me, even if no one else does.

As you start believing in yourself more, you'll have more good days than bad. It's easy to find the negative, so look for the positive in each situation. And most importantly, keep your faith in God this will help lead you to the happiness you seek. Please stop hating someone God loves so much. YOU!!

Don't stay in that place of self-hate, it's going to take time to change what you think about yourself but it's possible.  Check out one of my other blogs about self-hate: Why Do You Hate Yourself.

And check out this blog to start to begin to change this part of your life: 6 Steps To Change Your Life.

Dawson McAllister
Dawson McAllister, also known as America's youth pastor, was an author, radio host, speaker, and founder of TheHopeLine. McAllister attended Bethel College in Minnesota for undergraduate work where he graduated in 1968, began graduate studies at Talbot School of Theology in California, and received an honorary doctorate from Biola University.
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432 comments on “What To Do When You Hate Yourself - 5 Tips”

  1. How do you get through it if you're unsure about God? I can't pray to him if I don't understand why I've been struggling with this for almost 10 years. I get a little better and then slip back into the hole. I went to church, went through all the Catholic sacraments. Then when I did try to reach out, I started having panic attacks. I haven't been the same since then - it's been an ongoing battle trying to function as a productive adult. I'm not asking as a way to spark a debate about religion or the existence of God, but if you don't believe or can't believe or are unsure about all of it, what do you do?

    1. Hello Kaylee, Even if you don't believe yet, just talk to Him. Just talk to Him like you woul d a best friend. Tell Him your problems and ask Him questions For me it helps to write to God.

    1. You are not the first to feel this way. We are human we make mistakes...we sin. God is love and His love for us is unconditional. All fall short, but God freely gives His grace to us. He knows each of us individually and loves us personally. His is a mighty love that has no beginning and no end. If you'd like to talk more about this...a HopeCoach would love to listen. Call 800.394.4673 or chat online at http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp

  2. i feel I have a very good reason to loathe myself. I am bipolar. Seems like everyone assumes we are crimes just waiting to occur. I am not going to kill myself. Just hide from the world that hates me so much and spend the rest of my life alone. Goodbye, Cruel World!

    1. You are Loved My friend. You will find peace one day. God will take you in and warm your heart. He will show you not to fear life and love. God can show you the light of the world and the bright in the dark. I have been a self loather for far too long and Jesus Christ and his loving father can show you the true path to Happiness.

  3. Ive felt that way and this article is beautiful especially the part of God i didn't realize ive been selfish hating someone he created,myself and i felt a knot in my throat...so beautiful.

  4. I'm a boy from India with age 18 and bmi 14.4 and it is the only reason i hate myself because even the dosctors says i cant gain a single kg. I'm scared of the future because i have to look after a family but i'm too weak and i cant accept it and i dont want to accept it. What should you do when your living in such a condition that you cant change but at the same time its impossible to compromise ? Suicide ?? NO!! i'm not a coward but I need a way.

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