Do You Wonder Why You Hate Yourself Even When Others Like You?
It's so tragic to hear someone say I hate myself. But down deep, many people do. Do you hate yourself? It seems there are so many things in this world that attack our self-esteem and sense of worth. When you hate your life and yourself, it feels like you're in your own personal jail, full of self-loathing, desperately wanting to get out, but not believing they can.
Can You Relate to Caroline?
Others may think you are just crying out for attention. But the feelings are very real. You are miserable because of how you feel about yourself, even if it sounds exaggerated or overly dramatic. I believe you.
Caroline described her self-hatred like this: I hated myself because I thought I wasn't good enough to be in this world. I thought I was ugly, stupid, and weird. I wished I could have been someone else.
So why do people hate themselves?
We took a poll and asked what reasons you might have to hate yourself. The majority of people said it was something about their appearance, followed closely by I didn't feel loved, and then I failed at a relationship. Each of these could be their own articles.
Blame Ourselves When Bad Things Happen
When bad things happen, we often blame ourselves. It's easy to let this blame turn into self-hatred and suck the very life out of us. This can leave us depleted of any kind of self-worth or love. When bad things happen, the worst thing you can do is spiral down into self-pity.
Sometimes self-hate is emotional exhaustion from the blame game. It's important to remember that painful, challenging, and hard times are going to happen. Sometimes you just need to give yourself a break and get some rest. You will look much better to yourself when you get some rest and forgive yourself for any mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes.
Rejection or Abandonment
Everyone will experience rejection of some sort. It's normal. But it's difficult. Not everybody is going to love you or accept you.
But it doesn't mean you're a bad person, and that you should hate yourself because of it.
Tom wrote: I used to live consumed with thoughts about what everybody else was thinking about me. I felt like people were constantly rejecting me. All the worst things came to mind, even though there was no way of actually knowing what people were thinking. I had to quit, or else I'd go crazy.
Sometimes when people experience rejection or abandonment, they turn the responsibility onto themselves, as if they are the ones who caused the pain. Don't let what other people think about you determine what you think of yourself. The freedom you experience when you let go of this burden like Tom did, will give you great joy. He's right, it's not worth going crazy over something you really can't control.
Negative Self-Talk
Thinking poorly about yourself is kind of like self-rejection. You see something about yourself that you think is stupid or ugly and you think criticizing yourself about it will somehow make it go away. It won't. It will actually make it worse. A lot of people feel ugly. Lazy. Inadequate. It's like the whole human race suffers from deep, low self-esteem.
Mona wrote: I hate who I've become. I know there is a hardworking, honest, skinny person inside me somewhere, but most of the time I think about how far to the negative I've come, then get even angrier at myself for not working harder to become the person I know I can be.
The Fight Against Self-Hate
The fight against self-hate is an on-going battle in all of us. Some struggle with it more than others, to the point of depression and suicidal thoughts. But it seems to always be there working in the shadows, waiting to pounce on us, and take us down. One thought that has helped me in this struggle is God's love for me.
I ask myself, "Why should I hate someone God loves so much? Why should I slap Him across the face? He's the one who made me, and He did it for a very special reason." There is no one else in the whole world who is just like you or me. Isn't that incredible? That person, YOU, is worth loving.
So how do you climb out of the dark hole of self-hate? Check out 5 Things to Think or Do When You Hate Yourself.
I feel like I’m cursed because ever since I can remember bad crap has always happened to me and hasn’t stopped i know life is hard being bullied every day of your life and then when I got home I got beaten up by my farther and mentally tortured for being bullied and then I went through my parents divorce seen my mother shooting heroine in front of me when I was 11 always being told that my mother was a prostitute and my love life has never been great I found the love of my life and she left with my best friend and with my kid and then I was rapped 3 times and had it twisted by two of them and on top of that I have always dragged my self down and it’s sent me crazy I’ve asked for help and I get pushed away all the time because I’m disabled no one cares so that’s why I want to kill myself and that’s only a few things that have happened in my life and now I’m 21 and crap still hasn’t gotten better I’m starting to feel like what’s the point and I’ll say my name it Adam I’ve told people the crap that’s happened to me and they’ve asked me how have I coped this long now I’m starting to ask myself the same question if lost my family and everything along the way plzzz give me a reason to carry on?
Adam, You have been through much and know that you are valuable and worthy! It's good you are reaching out to talk about this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.
Everyday is a day I remind myself, that I've done better than my past. That I've overcome my fears and fought off people who thought bad of me. Every day is a day I forgive people for having done wrong by me. Not for them but for myself so that I can move on. Everyday I tell myself that I've come a long way from how I was and I've made myself better and that I could do better. I remind myself of the choices I have made and learn from it everyday just to keep myself sane. Just to keep me from killing myself. I keep myself busy to stop my mind from thinking. Cause when I think, I only blame myself and only wish for it all to end.
You are valuable and worthy! It's good you are reaching out to talk about this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that will call you and help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too. If you are looking for international resources you can find them here http://iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
I'm tired ,so tired and i feel like a joke...ive never hated myself as much as I do right now. People talk to me as I'm stupid or not worth it. I pretend to be one way but I won't lie I just want to sleep and move on to the next . I've experienced the next and it horrible.
Adam, You are not a joke, you're valuable and worthy! If you ever feel like you're at the end of your rope and need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too. You are not alone we are here to help. Never give up on yourself!
I'm 15 and I know I've got a long way to go but from the day my first crush rejected me hen I was 11 I started hating myself.Whenever something bad happens to me I feel like I want To die.No one loves me,whenever I get a good freind I get too close to him so whenever he does something it hurts a lot and I feel that he is hating me.I know u people don't have time for a 15 year old boy like me but I really could use some help and I would love to a get a good freind or a girlfreind who would love me.
This article is full empty platitudes. If you want to offer hope, try harder. I can find empty BS like this anywhere on the internet.