Do You Wonder Why You Hate Yourself Even When Others Like You?
It's so tragic to hear someone say I hate myself. But down deep, many people do. Do you hate yourself? It seems there are so many things in this world that attack our self-esteem and sense of worth. When you hate your life and yourself, it feels like you're in your own personal jail, full of self-loathing, desperately wanting to get out, but not believing they can.
Can You Relate to Caroline?
Others may think you are just crying out for attention. But the feelings are very real. You are miserable because of how you feel about yourself, even if it sounds exaggerated or overly dramatic. I believe you.
Caroline described her self-hatred like this: I hated myself because I thought I wasn't good enough to be in this world. I thought I was ugly, stupid, and weird. I wished I could have been someone else.
So why do people hate themselves?
We took a poll and asked what reasons you might have to hate yourself. The majority of people said it was something about their appearance, followed closely by I didn't feel loved, and then I failed at a relationship. Each of these could be their own articles.
Blame Ourselves When Bad Things Happen
When bad things happen, we often blame ourselves. It's easy to let this blame turn into self-hatred and suck the very life out of us. This can leave us depleted of any kind of self-worth or love. When bad things happen, the worst thing you can do is spiral down into self-pity.
Sometimes self-hate is emotional exhaustion from the blame game. It's important to remember that painful, challenging, and hard times are going to happen. Sometimes you just need to give yourself a break and get some rest. You will look much better to yourself when you get some rest and forgive yourself for any mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes.
Rejection or Abandonment
Everyone will experience rejection of some sort. It's normal. But it's difficult. Not everybody is going to love you or accept you.
But it doesn't mean you're a bad person, and that you should hate yourself because of it.
Tom wrote: I used to live consumed with thoughts about what everybody else was thinking about me. I felt like people were constantly rejecting me. All the worst things came to mind, even though there was no way of actually knowing what people were thinking. I had to quit, or else I'd go crazy.
Sometimes when people experience rejection or abandonment, they turn the responsibility onto themselves, as if they are the ones who caused the pain. Don't let what other people think about you determine what you think of yourself. The freedom you experience when you let go of this burden like Tom did, will give you great joy. He's right, it's not worth going crazy over something you really can't control.
Negative Self-Talk
Thinking poorly about yourself is kind of like self-rejection. You see something about yourself that you think is stupid or ugly and you think criticizing yourself about it will somehow make it go away. It won't. It will actually make it worse. A lot of people feel ugly. Lazy. Inadequate. It's like the whole human race suffers from deep, low self-esteem.
Mona wrote: I hate who I've become. I know there is a hardworking, honest, skinny person inside me somewhere, but most of the time I think about how far to the negative I've come, then get even angrier at myself for not working harder to become the person I know I can be.
The Fight Against Self-Hate
The fight against self-hate is an on-going battle in all of us. Some struggle with it more than others, to the point of depression and suicidal thoughts. But it seems to always be there working in the shadows, waiting to pounce on us, and take us down. One thought that has helped me in this struggle is God's love for me.
I ask myself, "Why should I hate someone God loves so much? Why should I slap Him across the face? He's the one who made me, and He did it for a very special reason." There is no one else in the whole world who is just like you or me. Isn't that incredible? That person, YOU, is worth loving.
So how do you climb out of the dark hole of self-hate? Check out 5 Things to Think or Do When You Hate Yourself.
I gave up my kids for adoption because at the time i was a heavy drug user an alcoholic! An i knew in my soul i would never stop! But long be hold i did well atleast with the drugs i still drink from time to time but when i do i lose my self because of the of all the regret an self hate!!
I have a pretty good life, decent job an man that loves me an my lovey Boi (my dog). But something in the back of my mind keeps telling u dnt deserve this ur horrible person how can u be happy now after u gave up your kids because u was to selfish to take care of them!! I dont know what to do anymore its so bad im about to lose everything! An i dont know how to get passed these feelings!!
I don't hate myself. I hate life. Yes, it is possible to believe you ARE worthy of better, but God refuses to allow it. Therefore, I hate life because it's something I want no part of and was never given the choice to choose or reject. I was forced to be born and I've hated almost every minute of it.
I hate myself and I tried to kill myself. I don't know who to tell or what I should do. If I tell anyone they'll just tell their parents. I can't tell my parents because they won't understand. What should I do?
You are valuable and worthy! It's good you are reaching out to talk about this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.
i just want to die at this point . my family is messed up, they say they are trying to help me but they aren't , my dad cares more about my sister and my brother then me , my mum thinks i can talk to this women and everything will be better my sister know that i self harm myself every so often but she said her life is worst , my friends try but fail , they blame crap on me and then i feel like crap, the say there fat which must mean I'm massive , they say they are ugly so i must be hideous , the boy i like thinks i hate him but i dint i just hate the way he likes me because i don't even like me , hate the I'm fat because if i try to loose weight i end up being called fat so i give up i give up on everything home, friends , family , life
Tilly, You are valuable and worthy! It's good you are reaching out to talk about this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.
i hate myself so much now that i have hurt myself its been 2 weeks since the last time i thought i was getting better until i fell down my rabbit hole again i cry every night wake up in the night having a mini panic attack i just lost the boy I like because he likes me but i don't know why so stopped it i don't know if my family even like me it seems like my dad likes me but i can tell he doesn't because he acts different to me then my sister it sounds like he cares more about her know my mum cares but she thinks I'm okay when I'm not when i look at my wrists all i can see is blood a slits and when I'm in the bath i hold my breathe once i was so close but then i thought about my little brother , he's the only one that is stopping me because i dont want him to have a horrible life because his big sister killed herself i want him to be proud of me but how is that possible because i have nothing going for me my mum wants me to go spas which is like a therapist but for kids with sadness my teachers try to help but they don't sometimes i just want them to realise that I'm broken and that i can't be fixed