Do You Wonder Why You Hate Yourself Even When Others Like You?
It's so tragic to hear someone say I hate myself. But down deep, many people do. Do you hate yourself? It seems there are so many things in this world that attack our self-esteem and sense of worth. When you hate your life and yourself, it feels like you're in your own personal jail, full of self-loathing, desperately wanting to get out, but not believing they can.
Can You Relate to Caroline?
Others may think you are just crying out for attention. But the feelings are very real. You are miserable because of how you feel about yourself, even if it sounds exaggerated or overly dramatic. I believe you.
Caroline described her self-hatred like this: I hated myself because I thought I wasn't good enough to be in this world. I thought I was ugly, stupid, and weird. I wished I could have been someone else.
So why do people hate themselves?
We took a poll and asked what reasons you might have to hate yourself. The majority of people said it was something about their appearance, followed closely by I didn't feel loved, and then I failed at a relationship. Each of these could be their own articles.
Blame Ourselves When Bad Things Happen
When bad things happen, we often blame ourselves. It's easy to let this blame turn into self-hatred and suck the very life out of us. This can leave us depleted of any kind of self-worth or love. When bad things happen, the worst thing you can do is spiral down into self-pity.
Sometimes self-hate is emotional exhaustion from the blame game. It's important to remember that painful, challenging, and hard times are going to happen. Sometimes you just need to give yourself a break and get some rest. You will look much better to yourself when you get some rest and forgive yourself for any mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes.
Rejection or Abandonment
Everyone will experience rejection of some sort. It's normal. But it's difficult. Not everybody is going to love you or accept you.
But it doesn't mean you're a bad person, and that you should hate yourself because of it.
Tom wrote: I used to live consumed with thoughts about what everybody else was thinking about me. I felt like people were constantly rejecting me. All the worst things came to mind, even though there was no way of actually knowing what people were thinking. I had to quit, or else I'd go crazy.
Sometimes when people experience rejection or abandonment, they turn the responsibility onto themselves, as if they are the ones who caused the pain. Don't let what other people think about you determine what you think of yourself. The freedom you experience when you let go of this burden like Tom did, will give you great joy. He's right, it's not worth going crazy over something you really can't control.
Negative Self-Talk
Thinking poorly about yourself is kind of like self-rejection. You see something about yourself that you think is stupid or ugly and you think criticizing yourself about it will somehow make it go away. It won't. It will actually make it worse. A lot of people feel ugly. Lazy. Inadequate. It's like the whole human race suffers from deep, low self-esteem.
Mona wrote: I hate who I've become. I know there is a hardworking, honest, skinny person inside me somewhere, but most of the time I think about how far to the negative I've come, then get even angrier at myself for not working harder to become the person I know I can be.
The Fight Against Self-Hate
The fight against self-hate is an on-going battle in all of us. Some struggle with it more than others, to the point of depression and suicidal thoughts. But it seems to always be there working in the shadows, waiting to pounce on us, and take us down. One thought that has helped me in this struggle is God's love for me.
I ask myself, "Why should I hate someone God loves so much? Why should I slap Him across the face? He's the one who made me, and He did it for a very special reason." There is no one else in the whole world who is just like you or me. Isn't that incredible? That person, YOU, is worth loving.
So how do you climb out of the dark hole of self-hate? Check out 5 Things to Think or Do When You Hate Yourself.
I'm going through some tough times right now I though it stopped. I spent all my summer thinking if the world would be a better place without me and I even asked myself where and whats the best way to end my life. After summer it stopped I started enjoying life again but its all coming back now i start thinking the same things again and again i'm starting to push myself away from everyone because i don't want anyone to miss me when i leave for good but I can't...I even tried committing suicide a while ago. I hate my body and soul I don't have anyone to talk to and every time I go home I put on a fake smile and say i'm fine while i'm screaming of pain inside I feel like i'm in a prison cell without bars but instead there is a invisible force keeping me away from being happy with myself.
I hate myself because I KNOW I can be an amazing person. I have a lot of things I am very good at, but growing up everyone I knew told me I was going to be something great. Teachers and parents and peers would ask me when I was going to start bringing in that sweet cash from the cool art I was going to make, the movies I'd be in, the spotlight. But thanks to trauma and mental illness I had to move to a place to try and fix myself because I tried to kill myself !!!!!!! fun !!!!!!! I can't look the people that physically restrained me in the eye anymore thanks to my shame !!!!!!! fun !!!!!!!!!
Now my dreams seem so far away now, and they were so close before !!!! I was talking with people !!!!!! I was making connections !!!!! People liked me and they liked my work and I was so ready !!!!! but thanks to family life I had no control over I got fucked up in the head !!!!!!! I couldn't work without trauma coming back and keeping me from focus, so I just sit here !!!!!! Now I'm working a retail job on the other side of the country I'm broke as shit and I can't even sketch without a voice in the back of my brain telling me to stop because I lost. I failed. I don't have the spark anymore.
I just wanted to know what to do if you hate yourself. I guess I hate myself because I seem to mess everything up and quite honestly got myself into a situation that I'm not happy in and... everyone else hates me so I was wondering how to fix it... I guess I should stop trying because I probably would just make it worse. I don't want to complain but I need someone and no one is there for me not even the people who think they are. I really just need a friend
I know the feeling I feel that I can’t get out of my own way. I’m tired of asking God to forgive me I feel as if I let Him down too. It never ends...
Hey Sarah. My name is Sarah too and I hate myself too. The best advise I can give you is turn to God because he loves you unconditionally. I know that’s easier said than done but God does test us and our patience through calamity. I hate to say I’m glad there’s people out there that hate themselves as much as I do, but at the same time I hope we all get better. Learn some coping skills, be yourself, and if they don’t love you for you somebody someday will. I hope this helps. You always have me as a friend even though I do not know you, but I feel your pain and understand.
I hate myself because I push people who I care about away
I'm going through Therapy but it's not working g. I hate me for allowing my roommate and her friends to steal my choice and my innocence from me .I lost someone 20 years ago and I want her back.
i understand im a mother of four n i lost 2 so technically a mother of 6 i lost myself at least four years ago very smart n strong then but ive let people down i love n care for they always thought i was stronger then i was im so tired of being stronger then i was i've been so upset n broken i let my kids down n they hate me n the one person i love the most besides all my kids that equal to her is my mother i feel like i disappointed her the same as my kids so why even be here please i love my kids all of them n my mom sorry i wasnt as strong as i came off i love yall