Do You Wonder Why You Hate Yourself Even When Others Like You?
It's so tragic to hear someone say I hate myself. But down deep, many people do. Do you hate yourself? It seems there are so many things in this world that attack our self-esteem and sense of worth. When you hate your life and yourself, it feels like you're in your own personal jail, full of self-loathing, desperately wanting to get out, but not believing they can.
Can You Relate to Caroline?
Others may think you are just crying out for attention. But the feelings are very real. You are miserable because of how you feel about yourself, even if it sounds exaggerated or overly dramatic. I believe you.
Caroline described her self-hatred like this: I hated myself because I thought I wasn't good enough to be in this world. I thought I was ugly, stupid, and weird. I wished I could have been someone else.
So why do people hate themselves?
We took a poll and asked what reasons you might have to hate yourself. The majority of people said it was something about their appearance, followed closely by I didn't feel loved, and then I failed at a relationship. Each of these could be their own articles.
Blame Ourselves When Bad Things Happen
When bad things happen, we often blame ourselves. It's easy to let this blame turn into self-hatred and suck the very life out of us. This can leave us depleted of any kind of self-worth or love. When bad things happen, the worst thing you can do is spiral down into self-pity.
Sometimes self-hate is emotional exhaustion from the blame game. It's important to remember that painful, challenging, and hard times are going to happen. Sometimes you just need to give yourself a break and get some rest. You will look much better to yourself when you get some rest and forgive yourself for any mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes.
Rejection or Abandonment
Everyone will experience rejection of some sort. It's normal. But it's difficult. Not everybody is going to love you or accept you.
But it doesn't mean you're a bad person, and that you should hate yourself because of it.
Tom wrote: I used to live consumed with thoughts about what everybody else was thinking about me. I felt like people were constantly rejecting me. All the worst things came to mind, even though there was no way of actually knowing what people were thinking. I had to quit, or else I'd go crazy.
Sometimes when people experience rejection or abandonment, they turn the responsibility onto themselves, as if they are the ones who caused the pain. Don't let what other people think about you determine what you think of yourself. The freedom you experience when you let go of this burden like Tom did, will give you great joy. He's right, it's not worth going crazy over something you really can't control.
Negative Self-Talk
Thinking poorly about yourself is kind of like self-rejection. You see something about yourself that you think is stupid or ugly and you think criticizing yourself about it will somehow make it go away. It won't. It will actually make it worse. A lot of people feel ugly. Lazy. Inadequate. It's like the whole human race suffers from deep, low self-esteem.
Mona wrote: I hate who I've become. I know there is a hardworking, honest, skinny person inside me somewhere, but most of the time I think about how far to the negative I've come, then get even angrier at myself for not working harder to become the person I know I can be.
The Fight Against Self-Hate
The fight against self-hate is an on-going battle in all of us. Some struggle with it more than others, to the point of depression and suicidal thoughts. But it seems to always be there working in the shadows, waiting to pounce on us, and take us down. One thought that has helped me in this struggle is God's love for me.
I ask myself, "Why should I hate someone God loves so much? Why should I slap Him across the face? He's the one who made me, and He did it for a very special reason." There is no one else in the whole world who is just like you or me. Isn't that incredible? That person, YOU, is worth loving.
So how do you climb out of the dark hole of self-hate? Check out 5 Things to Think or Do When You Hate Yourself.
glad i came across this. many have said the words that i too feel. constantly kicked out as a kid and relationships getting tired of me after a couple yrs. being told i was different and not fitting in. wishing life was a dream i would just wake up from. i used to make friends easily, after last relationship he said everyone hated me and kicked me out of his house. my boss said i was different and gave me basic social skills. i was doing clinical medical help, took many yrs of psych and soc and abnormal psych courses and aced everything. well once pulled a B. it is mortifying. i did my jobs and did them well. i was reliable and stayed late often and never complained or gossiped. now i am practically a shut in, eat, play facebook games and my grown kids are enjoying their lives for the most part. my youngest is paralyzed and gets some kind of major surgery once a yr and almost lose him. my oldest got of the wars thankfully but came back different after seeing people die around him etc. i never abused my kids adn researched parenting lifestyles naturally to give them a healthy outlook knowing mine was abusive on multilevels. i am no longer needed as kids are far away. i just send them goodies once a month and give my CC#s for take out sometimes. scared to make friends as they may see my real face..whatever that is ..and leave. i will take hundred of bucks to the casino to have people to talk to. have a cat to talk to in case i adapt the behavior of talking to myself and get misdiagnosed with dementia as iMHO many of the elderly do. most docs and healthgivers do not get true lonliness and reliving memories of someone caring and talking it out like the are there when no one is looking. wish i were into mystical thinking so i would not be alone and feel accepted. i know the truth though i have been tested sane and balanced. a fractured upbringing and consistent rejection reinforces that there must be something wrong. iMHO. ty for listening
I've felt this way for a long time too. Im newlywed, and already Im finding that I bring my wife down sometimes. In truth I think there is good reason why people feel depressed. The world which God meant us to live in is crumbling due to greed and corporate abuse, and all things good seem to be getting blowed down and turned into polluting buildings. at times, I feel as though my depression is the only thing that keeps me going to try to be a better person and act against the ways of greed and do things that will help advance the kingdom of God. But I'm such a downer sometimes and i can't stand bringing people down; thats where the self-hate sometimes comes from. its like an impossible game of tug-of-war. I sometimes wonder if Jesus was seen as a downer or if he experienced depression. After all, he was rejected by his own people. an example that we are to follow but may not lead to our own happiness
I can honsetly say i do hate myself. I am ugly, im quiet,im not someone fun to be around either. Im stupid. I dont want to sound like i want attention, i just wanna get it off my chest and scream it to the world. Nothing seems to go my way,i wake up thinking great another day to go TRY and learn something. Another day to follow th same routine. Another day to live in fear of something not actually there for normal people.
I'm a finnish, newly 18 years old girl, and I have hated myself for over 4 years. It started in fifth grade when my "friends" started to comment on my body: "small boobs are ugly", they said. Come on... I was 11, no eleven year old girl should have to worry about her breast size. anyway, ever since it have all turned worse. I have extremely low self-esteem, I compare myself with everyone, and I suffer from bad panicattacks. I panic and start to cry over small things that the majority of every 18 year old would manage with ease.
It have even come to the point where I hate myself for not being able to hurt myself/try taking my life, because i'm too scared.
It's so stuoid.
I wish I could find a solution, but as many of you that feel this way knows, it's an impossible feeling.
Sorry for my bad english.
I feel like I'm being overdramatic, especially with my name and all. But sometimes, a lot of times now, I find myself just really, really hating myself and the world. I just want to stop. I hate myself when I get freaking 89s and I hate myself when I look in the mirror. I thought about cutting myself but I am too cowardly to do it. LOL