Do You Wonder Why You Hate Yourself Even When Others Like You?
It's so tragic to hear someone say I hate myself. But down deep, many people do. Do you hate yourself? It seems there are so many things in this world that attack our self-esteem and sense of worth. When you hate your life and yourself, it feels like you're in your own personal jail, full of self-loathing, desperately wanting to get out, but not believing they can.
Can You Relate to Caroline?
Others may think you are just crying out for attention. But the feelings are very real. You are miserable because of how you feel about yourself, even if it sounds exaggerated or overly dramatic. I believe you.
Caroline described her self-hatred like this: I hated myself because I thought I wasn't good enough to be in this world. I thought I was ugly, stupid, and weird. I wished I could have been someone else.
So why do people hate themselves?
We took a poll and asked what reasons you might have to hate yourself. The majority of people said it was something about their appearance, followed closely by I didn't feel loved, and then I failed at a relationship. Each of these could be their own articles.
Blame Ourselves When Bad Things Happen
When bad things happen, we often blame ourselves. It's easy to let this blame turn into self-hatred and suck the very life out of us. This can leave us depleted of any kind of self-worth or love. When bad things happen, the worst thing you can do is spiral down into self-pity.
Sometimes self-hate is emotional exhaustion from the blame game. It's important to remember that painful, challenging, and hard times are going to happen. Sometimes you just need to give yourself a break and get some rest. You will look much better to yourself when you get some rest and forgive yourself for any mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes.
Rejection or Abandonment
Everyone will experience rejection of some sort. It's normal. But it's difficult. Not everybody is going to love you or accept you.
But it doesn't mean you're a bad person, and that you should hate yourself because of it.
Tom wrote: I used to live consumed with thoughts about what everybody else was thinking about me. I felt like people were constantly rejecting me. All the worst things came to mind, even though there was no way of actually knowing what people were thinking. I had to quit, or else I'd go crazy.
Sometimes when people experience rejection or abandonment, they turn the responsibility onto themselves, as if they are the ones who caused the pain. Don't let what other people think about you determine what you think of yourself. The freedom you experience when you let go of this burden like Tom did, will give you great joy. He's right, it's not worth going crazy over something you really can't control.
Negative Self-Talk
Thinking poorly about yourself is kind of like self-rejection. You see something about yourself that you think is stupid or ugly and you think criticizing yourself about it will somehow make it go away. It won't. It will actually make it worse. A lot of people feel ugly. Lazy. Inadequate. It's like the whole human race suffers from deep, low self-esteem.
Mona wrote: I hate who I've become. I know there is a hardworking, honest, skinny person inside me somewhere, but most of the time I think about how far to the negative I've come, then get even angrier at myself for not working harder to become the person I know I can be.
The Fight Against Self-Hate
The fight against self-hate is an on-going battle in all of us. Some struggle with it more than others, to the point of depression and suicidal thoughts. But it seems to always be there working in the shadows, waiting to pounce on us, and take us down. One thought that has helped me in this struggle is God's love for me.
I ask myself, "Why should I hate someone God loves so much? Why should I slap Him across the face? He's the one who made me, and He did it for a very special reason." There is no one else in the whole world who is just like you or me. Isn't that incredible? That person, YOU, is worth loving.
So how do you climb out of the dark hole of self-hate? Check out 5 Things to Think or Do When You Hate Yourself.
I hate myself and ithers hate me! I cant take it how everyone treats me like a piece of trash that got tossed out if a truck on the side of the road. I hate it my brothers and sister hurt me physically and emotionaly i tell my parents but they dont listen to me i feel like killing myself if i do i can be in a better place where everyone will love me.😰😰😰😰😰😰
I have many people that tell me i'm beautiful all day everyday... I have a boyfriend ive been with for almost 5 years and he loves me to death & he hates seeing me depressed. But it seems that i have this void somewhere inside of me that i can't seem to explain and no one would understand. I have good days, but then i catch myself start thinking about something negative. It's just hard to continually battle it in my mind. I dont believe in taking medication..that will only worsen things in my opinion, and i dont need to be any crazier than i already am. How do people live such a happy, fulfilling, blessed life? I'm the type who has practiced "the secret" and all that "positive stuff".. i just wish that i could get over feeling this way, and just be at peace with myself. I don't know what will make me happy...
I feel like everyone around me are better than me in everyway and there is absolutely no use by me to anyone. Im not even strong to die.I don't even feel like there is someone to help me out of this feeling,but sharing my problem with you guys feels good.
Some of my earliest memories are of people some from my own family making fun of me. Mostly because of my looks. I can remember being 9 and hating how i looked hated looking in the mirror i am now 37 soon 38 and still cant stand to look at myself in the mirror. I have had "family" members tell me i was worthless and how ugly i am. I hated school and it was horrible for me. I used to wonder how my mom and dad could stand to look at me. I chose men who were really bad for me they paid attention to me they told me what i wanted to hear the last one was the one to make me decide as long as i hate myself i should not date. I have to learn to love myself for my daughter in no way shape or form do i want her to feel about herself the way i feel about myself. It didn't help matters that my dad was part native american i am pail and the kids used to tease me about that asking me if he was my real dad and then some of the racial slurs started which only added to my self loathing i started to retreat i started drinking and smoking pot it was a way for me to go numb and not feel anything Now i don't do that but i still am very reserved around people and i don't like to be around them for long.I have trouble relating to people i have had people pretend to be friends just to turn on and burn me. I had people pretend to be my friend and invite me to sleep overs only to play tricks on me..I have had so called family members purposely leave me out of things they invite everyone else to then purposely rub it in my face! Really nice especially when my dad had passed away just the week before started to wonder what the hell was so wrong with me.
I can't stand the sight of myself. I've always felt like a burden on everyone around me and the all would be better off if I were dead. Each day I feel closer to being pushed away from everyone and soon they won't have too. My wife is constantly all over me about whatever she can think of. I can be sitting in front of the TV after work and she will absolutely hate the fact I am resting. I told her that if she keeps upsetting me that I will eventually have a heart attack. She said something needs to happen to me. So now what. She's not the only one who does this. I give up. No one can talk me out of my fate. That is how I feel. I wish I were dead.