Do You Wonder Why You Hate Yourself Even When Others Like You?
It's so tragic to hear someone say I hate myself. But down deep, many people do. Do you hate yourself? It seems there are so many things in this world that attack our self-esteem and sense of worth. When you hate your life and yourself, it feels like you're in your own personal jail, full of self-loathing, desperately wanting to get out, but not believing they can.
Can You Relate to Caroline?
Others may think you are just crying out for attention. But the feelings are very real. You are miserable because of how you feel about yourself, even if it sounds exaggerated or overly dramatic. I believe you.
Caroline described her self-hatred like this: I hated myself because I thought I wasn't good enough to be in this world. I thought I was ugly, stupid, and weird. I wished I could have been someone else.
So why do people hate themselves?
We took a poll and asked what reasons you might have to hate yourself. The majority of people said it was something about their appearance, followed closely by I didn't feel loved, and then I failed at a relationship. Each of these could be their own articles.
Blame Ourselves When Bad Things Happen
When bad things happen, we often blame ourselves. It's easy to let this blame turn into self-hatred and suck the very life out of us. This can leave us depleted of any kind of self-worth or love. When bad things happen, the worst thing you can do is spiral down into self-pity.
Sometimes self-hate is emotional exhaustion from the blame game. It's important to remember that painful, challenging, and hard times are going to happen. Sometimes you just need to give yourself a break and get some rest. You will look much better to yourself when you get some rest and forgive yourself for any mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes.
Rejection or Abandonment
Everyone will experience rejection of some sort. It's normal. But it's difficult. Not everybody is going to love you or accept you.
But it doesn't mean you're a bad person, and that you should hate yourself because of it.
Tom wrote: I used to live consumed with thoughts about what everybody else was thinking about me. I felt like people were constantly rejecting me. All the worst things came to mind, even though there was no way of actually knowing what people were thinking. I had to quit, or else I'd go crazy.
Sometimes when people experience rejection or abandonment, they turn the responsibility onto themselves, as if they are the ones who caused the pain. Don't let what other people think about you determine what you think of yourself. The freedom you experience when you let go of this burden like Tom did, will give you great joy. He's right, it's not worth going crazy over something you really can't control.
Negative Self-Talk
Thinking poorly about yourself is kind of like self-rejection. You see something about yourself that you think is stupid or ugly and you think criticizing yourself about it will somehow make it go away. It won't. It will actually make it worse. A lot of people feel ugly. Lazy. Inadequate. It's like the whole human race suffers from deep, low self-esteem.
Mona wrote: I hate who I've become. I know there is a hardworking, honest, skinny person inside me somewhere, but most of the time I think about how far to the negative I've come, then get even angrier at myself for not working harder to become the person I know I can be.
The Fight Against Self-Hate
The fight against self-hate is an on-going battle in all of us. Some struggle with it more than others, to the point of depression and suicidal thoughts. But it seems to always be there working in the shadows, waiting to pounce on us, and take us down. One thought that has helped me in this struggle is God's love for me.
I ask myself, "Why should I hate someone God loves so much? Why should I slap Him across the face? He's the one who made me, and He did it for a very special reason." There is no one else in the whole world who is just like you or me. Isn't that incredible? That person, YOU, is worth loving.
So how do you climb out of the dark hole of self-hate? Check out 5 Things to Think or Do When You Hate Yourself.
I always felt good about myself for most of my younger life, up until I reached the 9th grade. I dealt with it for years, never wanting to release my pent-up emotions. I felt empty, worthless, like I could never accomplish anything, despite my many achievements that year. I didn't know what to do, and I was bullied mercilessly. The only thing I had to escape it was books, but there was a limit to that as well. I could only buy books, seeing as I couldn't rent out books from the school library, and I never had much money. I had nothing to release me from never-ending torment. And it only got worse from there. I still struggle with it today, as a senior in high school. I still can't tell anyone about it, either. I just wanted it all to end.
i hate my life i hate myself i love my family and thats all that keeps me going but i am sad everyday and if i end my life wich would make me happy, it would make he ones i love unhappy so i feel i cant do it and n one wants me to. my counsellors tell me not to and advise safe self harm but i dont honestly care anymore im sick of being sick im tired of being tired and im done with dissapointment. i dont wanna wake up in a morning so why should i? who says i have to get up and go out to college and work and religious meetings and see friemds? i know there was a time i wanted to and i devoted my life to these things and brought pleasure to my god, my friends and family. that made me happy but now i dont want to. i want to do what i want to do and i know i cant and i shouldnt so i dont want to live through this mental conflict anymore i cant be bothered. i dont want to do aything but sleep. when i sleep i dream and i get away fromy real life and real problems i fce and issues i have to endure. i know i have anxiety and depression maybe something on top oof that but i dont care theres no ecxuse for my thoughts and behaviour now. i am ruining my famly life and upsetting my friends and everything is my fault. theyd be better ooff without me and ive felt like this for 3 years now and every time i have tried to pray or better my self and fix my life or even end my life it never works i just wake up sad and tired and alone. i dont want to put up with this cycle anymore. leave me be. what do i do? do i keep tying? keep going? and one day life will be better? heard it all before. it never lasts. people always let me down and i disappoint others as a result. if i wasnt a part of this worl anymore sure it would be hard at first but everyone would get over it and forgt eventually. so i should go and do it now. 4 times isnt enough is it? i cant even kill myseelf well. i am useless at everything. what is the point of my life? when all i do and am good at is bringing negativity to those i love? im stupid i am useless and not worth anything. i should go die in a ditch somehwere i wouldn make a differenc to the world i live in. life is hard and i cant cope. i am not good enough for wht i have. i dont deserrve nything
i hate my life i hate myself i love my family an dthats all that keeps me going but i am sad everyday and if i end my life wich would make me happy, it would make he ones i love unhappy so i feel i cant do it and n one wants me to. my counsellors tell me not to and advise safe self harm but i dont honestly care anymore im sick of being sick im tired of being tired and im done with dissapointment. i dont wanna wake up in a morning so why should i? who says i have to get up and go out to college and work and religious meetings and see friemds? i know there was a time i wanted to and i devoted my life to these things and brought pleasure to my god, my friends and family. that made me happy but now i dont want to. i want to do what i want to do and i know i cant and i shouldnt so i dont want to live through this mental conflict anymore i cant be bothered. i dont want to do aything but sleep. when i sleep i dream and i get away fromy real life and real problems i fce and issues i have to endure. i know i have anxiety and depression maybe something on top oof that but i dont care theres no ecxuse for my thoughts and behaviour now. i am ruining my famly life and upsetting my friends and everything is my fault. theyd be better ooff without me and ive felt like this for 3 years now and every time i have tried to pray or better my self and fix my life or even end my life it never works i just wake up sad and tired and alone. i dont want to put up with this cycle anymore. leave me be. what do i do? do i keep tying? keep going? and one day life will be better? heard it all before. it never lasts. people always let me down and i disappoint others as a result. if i wasnt a part of this worl anymore sure it would be hard at first but everyone would get over it and forgt eventually. so i should go and do it now. 4 times isnt enough is it? i cant even kill myseelf well. i am useless at everything. what is the point of my life? when all i do and am good at is bringing negativity to those i love?
I've attempted to cheat in an examination.... now after I am caught I hate myself...my parents had to apologize to the concerned authorities....I felt like killing myself...the incident replayed over a bazillion times... every time showing the inner me how all the more stupid I was....my parents say I am a disgrace with tears rolling down their cheeks....if anything I have to prove....I have to say that I need a way to pick myself up first...and then prove it to everyone what my real potential is
There is hope and help. Those feelings can really go away. Please chat with a HopeCoach - simply click on the "chat now" button. We are here for you 24/7.