Do You Wonder Why You Hate Yourself Even When Others Like You?
It's so tragic to hear someone say I hate myself. But down deep, many people do. Do you hate yourself? It seems there are so many things in this world that attack our self-esteem and sense of worth. When you hate your life and yourself, it feels like you're in your own personal jail, full of self-loathing, desperately wanting to get out, but not believing they can.
Can You Relate to Caroline?
Others may think you are just crying out for attention. But the feelings are very real. You are miserable because of how you feel about yourself, even if it sounds exaggerated or overly dramatic. I believe you.
Caroline described her self-hatred like this: I hated myself because I thought I wasn't good enough to be in this world. I thought I was ugly, stupid, and weird. I wished I could have been someone else.
So why do people hate themselves?
We took a poll and asked what reasons you might have to hate yourself. The majority of people said it was something about their appearance, followed closely by I didn't feel loved, and then I failed at a relationship. Each of these could be their own articles.
Blame Ourselves When Bad Things Happen
When bad things happen, we often blame ourselves. It's easy to let this blame turn into self-hatred and suck the very life out of us. This can leave us depleted of any kind of self-worth or love. When bad things happen, the worst thing you can do is spiral down into self-pity.
Sometimes self-hate is emotional exhaustion from the blame game. It's important to remember that painful, challenging, and hard times are going to happen. Sometimes you just need to give yourself a break and get some rest. You will look much better to yourself when you get some rest and forgive yourself for any mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes.
Rejection or Abandonment
Everyone will experience rejection of some sort. It's normal. But it's difficult. Not everybody is going to love you or accept you.
But it doesn't mean you're a bad person, and that you should hate yourself because of it.
Tom wrote: I used to live consumed with thoughts about what everybody else was thinking about me. I felt like people were constantly rejecting me. All the worst things came to mind, even though there was no way of actually knowing what people were thinking. I had to quit, or else I'd go crazy.
Sometimes when people experience rejection or abandonment, they turn the responsibility onto themselves, as if they are the ones who caused the pain. Don't let what other people think about you determine what you think of yourself. The freedom you experience when you let go of this burden like Tom did, will give you great joy. He's right, it's not worth going crazy over something you really can't control.
Negative Self-Talk
Thinking poorly about yourself is kind of like self-rejection. You see something about yourself that you think is stupid or ugly and you think criticizing yourself about it will somehow make it go away. It won't. It will actually make it worse. A lot of people feel ugly. Lazy. Inadequate. It's like the whole human race suffers from deep, low self-esteem.
Mona wrote: I hate who I've become. I know there is a hardworking, honest, skinny person inside me somewhere, but most of the time I think about how far to the negative I've come, then get even angrier at myself for not working harder to become the person I know I can be.
The Fight Against Self-Hate
The fight against self-hate is an on-going battle in all of us. Some struggle with it more than others, to the point of depression and suicidal thoughts. But it seems to always be there working in the shadows, waiting to pounce on us, and take us down. One thought that has helped me in this struggle is God's love for me.
I ask myself, "Why should I hate someone God loves so much? Why should I slap Him across the face? He's the one who made me, and He did it for a very special reason." There is no one else in the whole world who is just like you or me. Isn't that incredible? That person, YOU, is worth loving.
So how do you climb out of the dark hole of self-hate? Check out 5 Things to Think or Do When You Hate Yourself.
For a long time I have felt, and still feel, that no one would miss me if I were to die. That even if they did, they would get over it soon enough because I'm just another mouth to feed, and there's so many bad things about me. I still feel this way, even though whenever I speak up about it people always deny it and say that I'm awesome or cool or that they'd miss me. Anytime that happens it makes me think of the phrase "actions speak louder than words". So, that leads to my questions. If someone doesn't show that they care about you, even if they say it verbally, should you still hold onto them? Especially if they are family or close friends? Should you keep living with people who say they care for you, but never show it? Should you tolerate or even accept that those closest to you, even friends and family, are the reason that you want to self harm and end things? How do you move past that when you can't tell them, or when you can't leave them either?
I dont know why i feel like this. This also feels weird writing down, but probably nobody is gonna read this cringy text anyways. I feel terrible. For the past months i just feel like i havent been taking care of myself as i should. I guess i should change something, but i guess i dont want to. Do i like being miserable? Im actually talking to myself haha . I wait to get home annd force myself to cry in the hope of feeling better , didnt work yet but maybe next time. Im not doing anything productive. I think people think im dumb because of the way i present myself, but really i feel like a wise person. I rather present myself as a dumb person, it makes people open up more and be less cautious knowing theyre not going to be judged by a wiseass. I actually have no ide what im writing. This is random thoughts. Did i just invent a form of self therapy? If this helps me then yes.. I feel like i have no future. I am young, very actually. I am hoping and planning on being extremely happy in about a year. I am gonna be done with school. I feel like im finally going to feel free. Whatever that is, and however that feels. I see myself being extremely happy, the ultimate feeling. But deep down i think im lying to myself. Im either going to be extremely happy or just plain sad. Its weird, i can only see myself as either one extreme. Never in the middle. Am i gonna end up homeless because of my decisions? Am i gonna make the right decisions? I have the capacity of making something great. But im slowly killing myself from inside and draining all my power out. I am wasting time money and talent. I should be happy with what i have. I should be happy i have a talent and something im good at. I should get better at it. How do i keep my mind off of dark thoughts? When i am happy, how do i stay hapy? Do i think too much? Or too little? Or wrong? Does my mind work and think in the same way as others? I want to be happy. I wish many things never happened. I have to accept i have no control over certain things. I often think of power and control. Its an interesting concept. Who has the power/control in specific situations? How theese things switch or are blurred lines or illusions. Does anyone really have control over anything? I am not helping myself by writing this right now .. hey if you read till here good job.. sometimes i wish i could stop time . Or just disappear as if i never existed. And its not even in horrible situations that i think this. Thats weird. I want to challenge myself. Push myself . Start doing things i wish to. Be honest. Stop masking my feelings. Its hard to do that. I feel terrible because whenever i sspeak my mind i uset my family. I hate myslf for it. I cant think of an example, but its not insulting or sth like that.. There are so many crazy things in life really. Well in mine at least. Im fascinated with two-facedness. Also the way we can ignore things, or forget, or move on. Its a powerful mind. I see people on the streets and trains every day and nobody looks happy. Is this my fate? Nobody is happy. It looks horrible. I dont want to be the way they are. Live to survive. I want to live and enjoy andbe happy and not harm anyone and escape the problems of current reality. School systems are strange. There are so many things strage on our planet. I like to think of the people of the future and the way they would think of us. Primitive? Authoritarian? Naive? Angry? Forcing? Unhappy? ... i wonder how im gonna look when im lod, if im gonna be alive, will i have a family, what kind of man is my husband? Am i happy? Will i remember my current self, being this way? Will i think of myself silly, will i ave self pitty? Who do i blame this on? Am i this way because of myself or others? Oh and, am i crazy? Like , how do you define a crazy person? Its strange when you think about it, how definitions change, statuses, ond day you might be a regar person annd the next youre called crazy and your credibility's on the line. Just imagine,anything you say is dismissed , because youre defined crazy. Even if you try disprove your status you cant, because youre crazy. Its strange how people tend to look for and find comfort in finding causes for effects. Why something halens, we make our own causes. I dont know what to do but i hate being stuck in this state of mind. I dont know what to try.
For a long time now I've been struggling to cope with the fact that I've hurt some people and will continue to hurt people with my words or my attitude. This coming from me anyone would think I'm not a good person and I just say and do whatever I please without concern for others. I sincerely believe I'm not like that. In fact I've repeatedly had some people tell me I'm a nice person. I care about how people feel. I always try to act in a manner that would please everybody. But sometimes I just find myself in a situation where people would ignore me because apparently I've said or done something that offended them. I don't know why I'm like this and I hate myself for who I am. How could a 'nice' person as they say be capable of saying hurtful things?
I feel like garbage. I'm 21 and have hurt and deceived so many people over the course of 7 years. I know I still do but I am unaware of who I hurt. I had contemplated suicide once, mainly because of my self hatred and my status as an outcast. Even today I am trash being tossed around. I'm so sick of this feeling but have given up. I feel it's society that made me feel like this. I don't know anymore, all I do know is that this feeling is never disappearing and all of the times I really try it gets even worse.
i hate myself i feel worthless and stupid i feel like im a bad person it hurts i bury my feelings i hide my sadness by watching youtube and telling stupid jokes i grew up in a family that treated me like an unwanted outsider and i feel that way now too i live with my aunt and uncle now because the neglect was on the levels of abuse i didnt even know how to do basic hygene because noone ever loved me enough to ever teach me ive lived with them for about 5 years and love them both with everything i have ive learned alot but i have no social skills due to abuse (verbal emotional psycological and sexual) i have a huge fear of people therefor i cant get a job i even had to drop out of school because of this ive had people tell me they think i have aspergers syndrome i try to help around the house but my memories getting bad or something because i keep forgetting to do stuff my aunt lately has been getting mad at me alot and keeps saying im lazy and each time it breaks my heart more and more im trying i really am but i just forget stuff sometimes im trying i really am but i think my aunt and uncle r starting to hate me too i dont know what to do anymore i dont wanna get outta bed anymore i dont wanna hurt anymore but thats all i do i feel like my aunt and uncle r gonna throw me out and if that happens then i will truly have noone i wll just give up someone please tell me what to do someone please make the pain stop someone please help me.....