Do You Wonder Why You Hate Yourself Even When Others Like You?
It's so tragic to hear someone say I hate myself. But down deep, many people do. Do you hate yourself? It seems there are so many things in this world that attack our self-esteem and sense of worth. When you hate your life and yourself, it feels like you're in your own personal jail, full of self-loathing, desperately wanting to get out, but not believing they can.
Can You Relate to Caroline?
Others may think you are just crying out for attention. But the feelings are very real. You are miserable because of how you feel about yourself, even if it sounds exaggerated or overly dramatic. I believe you.
Caroline described her self-hatred like this: I hated myself because I thought I wasn't good enough to be in this world. I thought I was ugly, stupid, and weird. I wished I could have been someone else.
So why do people hate themselves?
We took a poll and asked what reasons you might have to hate yourself. The majority of people said it was something about their appearance, followed closely by I didn't feel loved, and then I failed at a relationship. Each of these could be their own articles.
Blame Ourselves When Bad Things Happen
When bad things happen, we often blame ourselves. It's easy to let this blame turn into self-hatred and suck the very life out of us. This can leave us depleted of any kind of self-worth or love. When bad things happen, the worst thing you can do is spiral down into self-pity.
Sometimes self-hate is emotional exhaustion from the blame game. It's important to remember that painful, challenging, and hard times are going to happen. Sometimes you just need to give yourself a break and get some rest. You will look much better to yourself when you get some rest and forgive yourself for any mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes.
Rejection or Abandonment
Everyone will experience rejection of some sort. It's normal. But it's difficult. Not everybody is going to love you or accept you.
But it doesn't mean you're a bad person, and that you should hate yourself because of it.
Tom wrote: I used to live consumed with thoughts about what everybody else was thinking about me. I felt like people were constantly rejecting me. All the worst things came to mind, even though there was no way of actually knowing what people were thinking. I had to quit, or else I'd go crazy.
Sometimes when people experience rejection or abandonment, they turn the responsibility onto themselves, as if they are the ones who caused the pain. Don't let what other people think about you determine what you think of yourself. The freedom you experience when you let go of this burden like Tom did, will give you great joy. He's right, it's not worth going crazy over something you really can't control.
Negative Self-Talk
Thinking poorly about yourself is kind of like self-rejection. You see something about yourself that you think is stupid or ugly and you think criticizing yourself about it will somehow make it go away. It won't. It will actually make it worse. A lot of people feel ugly. Lazy. Inadequate. It's like the whole human race suffers from deep, low self-esteem.
Mona wrote: I hate who I've become. I know there is a hardworking, honest, skinny person inside me somewhere, but most of the time I think about how far to the negative I've come, then get even angrier at myself for not working harder to become the person I know I can be.
The Fight Against Self-Hate
The fight against self-hate is an on-going battle in all of us. Some struggle with it more than others, to the point of depression and suicidal thoughts. But it seems to always be there working in the shadows, waiting to pounce on us, and take us down. One thought that has helped me in this struggle is God's love for me.
I ask myself, "Why should I hate someone God loves so much? Why should I slap Him across the face? He's the one who made me, and He did it for a very special reason." There is no one else in the whole world who is just like you or me. Isn't that incredible? That person, YOU, is worth loving.
So how do you climb out of the dark hole of self-hate? Check out 5 Things to Think or Do When You Hate Yourself.
I hate myself...
Usually my family and most of my friends take that statement as a joke, but it's very true. I feel like I won't ever add up to anything important in life and that I'd never find my significant other, nor do I deserve one. I always thing that everything I do it a failure and that it's my fault. a few of my good friends compliment me and everything I do and it makes me feel worse. I feel like they just they nice things to make me happy.
One of the worst things is that I can't take rejection and mistakes easily. It makes me feel incompetent and that I shouldn't do anything in life because I'll just mess everything up and end up in a massive hellhole full of personal problems, and self hate. But it's not just me, I feel like I'm holding everyone back and that I'm just a pain to them. I want them to be happy, happy without me because I know I'm not gonna live long in the world.
I'm only 12 years old and although I know that the problems I face in my life are most likely minuscule compared to others, I find it unfair how many people will believe that kids my age do not have problems of their own. The nights when I only get 2 hours of sleep for various reasons are the nights that I suffer the most, and then when I go to school, teachers ask me why I seem so tired. I tell them I only slept two or three hours, and I'm met with the same typical answer: You did not only get two or three hours. Only my health teacher and counselor seem to know that I tell the truth.
Today, my parents told me that I was a waste of everybody's time and energy. They say that they don't believe that I try hard, because sometimes results just don't end up the way that either of us want. I feel useless because I don't want them to be wasting their time, energy, or money on me, to let it fall short.
As I stood there being reprimanded today, I had an urge inside me to walk to the utensils drawer and get a knife and stab myself. I didn't know where this urge had suddenly stemmed from, but it did. However, I fought the urge and told myself that killing myself would only be a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
I do wish I was someone else. I'm compared to everyone, and it makes me feel like trash when someone chooses another over me. I hate the words:
"I would trade you out for anyone else", yet it seems to be something I hear too often.
I have one guy friend that's older than me, that I talk to all the time. He's the person I vent to if I ever need to vent, yet it's starting to seem as if he doesn't care, and would rather that I left him alone. So, I did. It didn't seem to bother him the slightest.
Maybe no one cares about me, then. It's hard to believe otherwise.
All day everyday I feel stupid and ugly. I am balding pretty bad but I always wear a hat. People comment all the time do you ever take your hat off or do you wash that thing. I feel like a joke that everyone is laughing at. I don't go out with friends or co workers because I'm afraid the subject of me always wearing my hat will come up and people will find out I'm balding. It really has toking a toll on my self e
I have never liked whome I am I dont know why really I jiust feel like I cant do anythong and everthing I do seems to be wrong, at school I was bullied and I hated my self even more I was called fat and even worst names and I started to believe them now I am 19 I just cant see anything good about me and whome I am
Lauren, we just posted a new blog about bullying. It is a true story about a girl who turned it around for something good. Check out her story and video - https://www.thehopeline.com/how-her-pain-turned-into-something-beautiful/ You might want to join her facebook group. She is my hero.
I love my wife to death we had bad times and good times she cheated on me many times so for pay back I started going on website to piss her off we live together sleep in the same bed I thought things was.going good until she told someone I love u that took my bReath away like I had pains in my chest sharp pains tears coming down even when I dont want to cry after all this I still love her iam not ready to let her go we have kids n been marry for ten years