Helping a friend can be hard if you don’t know what to say when they’re going through a difficult time. If you need to help a best friend after a breakup, it can be hard to know where to start.

I’ve talked to many people over the years who have been through breakups. Though every situation is a little different, I’ve noticed a few healthy habits that can get you and your friend through this tough time together.

Listening Does Help

Sometimes the temptation is strong to want to make everything better for your best friend when they’re going through a breakup. After all, you care about them and want them to be happy and safe.

But true friendship isn’t about fixing all your friends’ problems. It’s about being present and being with them when they need someone to listen.

Listening doesn’t always feel like helping, but it does. It helps your friend feel less isolated, better connected to others, and more understood. Just being there is more help than you realize.

Encourage Self-Care

Healthy self-care is one of the best things you can do during a tough time, both for yourself and the person you’re trying to help.

Your friend is likely going through a lot of stress right now. And while you can’t force your friend to do what you think is best, you can encourage them in healthy self-care by participating with them. For example:

• Cook a healthy meal together
• Go to a tea shop and try some relaxing blends
• Spend time centering yourselves with deep breathing, meditation, and other physical activities that make you feel more relaxed.

Prayer can also help us find tranquility when we or others we care about are recovering after a breakup or other relationship difficulties.

It may help your friend for the two of you to pray together. But if they’re not ready, it’s perfectly fine to pray on your own and continue being there for them to remind them of God’s love in other ways.

Take Breaks When You Need Them

Even in the closest friendships, you need time to yourself to regroup when the person you care about is going through a breakup.

Your friend is going to be talking about some difficult things, and they’re going to be expressing a lot of upset feelings. It’s normal in those situations to feel overwhelmed and even a little frustrated. When times get hard, it’s good to take breaks to rest, spend time with family or other close friends, and to do things you enjoy.

If you’re still not sure what to do, even after taking some time to think things through on your own, don’t despair. Things are never hopeless.

We can help you work through friendship challenges without judgment. Talk to a HopeCoach at the TheHopeLine when you’re not sure how to help a friend going through a breakup. We’ll help you both get through this tough time while helping you keep your boundaries healthy and your friendship strong.

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