I Keep Thinking Just One More Time

John’s been dealing with pornography troubles a good portion of his life. He knows some people don’t think it’s a bad thing, but he wants to stay away from it permanently.

He’s been addicted since he was 13 years old and ever since has been battling this massive and cruel addiction. John has gone a whole year without porn, but then something happens which triggers it, and he thinks, “just one more time.”

John has guts to call and talk about this. It’s amazing how he’s bringing this to the light so the light can push away the shame.

Peer to Peer: Messages of Advice and Encouragement for John

We asked for you to call in and share advice and encouragement with John. Here are your suggestions on how to get rid of porn for good:

Pulled Out of Porn Addiction by the Grace of God

Dave shares that by the grace of God he was pulled out of the addiction of pornography and masturbation. He was addicted from 14 years old up through college and grad school. He says, it’s only by Jesus was he able to stop. A few things helped him pull through. The first was an accountability buddy. Then he started finding scriptures he could rely on. One of those verses is Psalm 145:19, “He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them.” And Psalm 18:16, “He reached down from heaven and rescued me; he drew me out of deep waters.” Dave knew he had filled his intimacy desires with porn instead of God. But then he realized there was no way out without God. He started to pray anytime he felt the temptation to look at porn. The first couple of days it didn’t work but then a few days later, God started to fulfill those holes in his life. Dave says, rely on God and scripture, God is faithful!

Porn Addiction Can Hurt Your Future Relationships

Serina’s husband struggles with porn addiction. She says, John, you are not alone. There are a lot of people out there to assist you if you reach out for help. Support groups are great. Reading literature on this topic is great. Serina says, addictions can cause long term effects, including physical effects. And as you get older and do it longer, it gets more addictive so it’s good to get help now. If you keep doing what you are doing, it will hurt your future wife if you continue. She will feel like she’s not enough.

Looked up Scriptures on How to Fight Lust

Nick says he’s been there too. Like Dave, God pulled him out of it. It wasn’t easy. He got addicted at 9 years old and is now 18. Nick told God he didn’t want the addiction anymore and needed help and healing. Nick said only by God’s grace can you pull through. The hardest battle was when he was just sitting on his bed and was about to look at porn but instead, he looked up scriptures on how to fight lust. He pulled through that night and had 3 months of being porn free. He’s been tempted some after that but always goes to God. Nick said his life is so much better now!

Be Willing with a Sincere Heart to Change

Pete says he dittos what Nick said. He’s been reading Ephesians and the first book of John, and it talks about confessing our sins with a pure heart so we can have a pure heart. Becoming humble and willing with a sincere heart to change. Pete says he struggled with a porn addiction for many years and even had 2 attempts of suicide. But God helped him and saved him. He said humble yourself before God, offer yourself to Him and He will give you what you need.

Surrendering Everything

Cassandra got introduced to porn at 11 years old and is 34 now. She got over it by giving herself completely over to the Lord and surrendering everything. She says, keep your mind on Christ, and stay focused by listening to spiritual things. She says, you have to stay positive no matter what. When you feel yourself getting weak, you pray and ask God to help, and He will deliver you from it.

Stay Focused on God

John is a newborn Christian for about a year and a half. He says, God delivered him from alcohol, pornography and many other things, in just a short time. John says to John, God can do anything for you if you want Him too. Stay focused on God and He can do amazing things, as long as you are willing.

Establish New Habits

Carrie was married to a man for 22 years who was addicted to pornography. They had 5 beautiful children. His addiction really affected Carrie and she was very injured by it. Carrie said there is a place in TN, called Bethesda where people who have been injured by addiction or who have been addicted can seek healing on a spiritual level. She said it gave her a new beginning and she learned she’s worthy to be treated like a woman should be. In order for her to get healthy, she had to get divorced. Today, she can say, John, you need to be surrounded by a lot of people who can teach you to live a new way and you’ll have to leave the old way behind. She said it’s hard to establish new habits, but those new habits will give you a new future. She shares, Jeremiah 29:11, For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  Carrie said she didn’t have the strength to help her husband but there are trained professionals who can help. There is hope to break away from this.

Get Accountability

Kyle says to John, you’re not alone. He struggles with it every day. It started when he was really young. It put him a dark place in life, robbed him of his self-worth and had him contemplating suicide. Then he got into church and got into a men’s accountability group. He says, there’s hope but definitely get accountability. He has guys who help keep him accountable and they encourage each other. He also recommends cleansing your social media. Kyle fasted social media for 21 days and it built up his discipline and self-confidence. It was the longest time he had gone without masturbating or anything. He says to John, keep going, don’t give up on yourself, and remember you are a child of God. Stay in the word as much as possible. First 15 minutes of the day, read your devotional, spend time in prayer and worship. Set the tone for the rest of your day and it will give you strength and encouragement for the rest of your day.

Porn Addiction Needs to be Brought to the Light

Sasha is so grateful John had the bravery to call in for help. A lot of people in the church don’t want to talk about addiction to porn because of the shame but it needs to be brought to the light. There’s a difference between conviction and condemning. Satan comes to condemn but Jesus comes to convict us to help us change. She said, God wants to help John change in that area of his life. Set some boundaries, have something to do in place of looking at porn and have scripture references ready. Sasha shared 1 Peter 5:7, “Cast all your cares on Him for He cares for you.” And shared Romans 8:1, “So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.” She said Jesus doesn’t come to condemn you John but to help you.

What advice would you give John?

Have you ever struggled with an addiction to porn? Will you share what helped you the most to stop? Share in the comments below! What you have to say could be exactly what John or others need to get them through.

Did Today’s Episode Get You Thinking?

Those were powerful stories of God’s grace, from people who had John’s same struggle with pornography. Nick, Pete, Cassandra, John, and Kyle all agreed in their advice to John, if it wasn’t for God, they wouldn’t have gotten victory over porn addiction and be where they are today.

I love some of the practical advice Kyle had for John:

• Get other guys to hold him accountable.
• Cleanse your social media. Get rid of any inappropriate people, sites, or organizations who you are connected with and put restrictions on your accounts.
• Fast social media for a time, like he did for 21 days. He said by fasting it for 21 days, it helped him build up his discipline and self-confidence.
• Devote the first 15 minutes of your day to God. Spend time in prayer, in worship and reading scripture. It definitely does set the tone for the rest of the day.

Have the Tools Ready When Temptation Comes

Nick specifically looked up scriptures on how to fight lust. It’s not that you don’t get tempted again, but you have the tools you need when the temptation comes. Romans 8:6 is a great scripture if you are dealing with lust and porn addiction, “So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace.” 2 Timothy 2:22 is also a great verse to memorize and meditate on, “Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts.”
With the Lord’s help, you absolutely can get help for your porn addiction. It’s not going to be easy but nothing worth doing ever is. Take heart, ask the Lord for help and start applying some of the practical advice you heard in this episode.

Resources to Overcome Porn Addiction:

We have an awesome eBook to help you with porn addiction: Understanding Pornography Addiction.
Check out my blogs to help you towards a porn-free life:

• Is Pornography Addiction Harming Your Relationship
• 7 Steps to a Porn Free Life
• Porn: the Gateway Drug to Sexual Violence
• 6 Reasons to Cut Porn out of Your Life for Good

Check out other’s stories on struggles with porn addiction:

• I was the Good Christian Girl Addicted to Pornography
• Pornography Addiction: Being a Muslim to Christianity

One of our partners, XXX Church, helps men and women who are struggling with porn. They can help you to break bad habits and create a great life with a healthy view of sex. Learn more about XXX Church.
Need to talk to someone about how you are feeling, then: Chat with a HopeCoach at TheHopeLine.

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