Are You Mad At God?
I've got to believe at some point in your life, you've raised your fist and shouted out in anger at God. Most of us have done it.
Maybe your parent died, or you had a friend get seriously sick, or even killed. Maybe you have cancer, or some kind of handicap. These and other serious issues enter our lives, making it easy to target God for our pain.
Someone described anger this way: Anger is a human emotional response to situations that are either out of our control or out of our ability to understand, or both.
How to Handle Being Angry at God
What does Jesus say about anger?
Jesus talks about anger several times in the New Testament of the Bible. Let’s look at a few of them:
- Anger and the Heart
- In the book of Matthew, Jesus warns against harboring anger and hatred in one's heart, suggesting that letting it fester can have a pretty destructive effect. You can find that in Matthew 5:21-22 (NIV): "But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment."
- Reconciliation and Forgiveness
- In the same passage Matthew, Jesus encourages us to resolve conflicts and reconcile with others quickly. He suggests that it's better to “leave your gift at the altar,” meaning you should pause what you’re doing and make sure things are set right between you and the person you’re in conflict with instead of letting it grow in your heart. (Matthew 5:23-24)
- Turn the Other Cheek
- In Matthew 5:38-39, Jesus teaches the principle of turning the other cheek when someone wrongs you. He encourages his followers not to respond to aggression with aggression, but rather to respond with love and patience. It’s important to note that “turning the other cheek” is not meant to allow someone who has hurt you to get away with it and do it again. But if you’re in a situation where you can extend grace and relieve yourself from the anger you feel, consider forgiveness.
- Forgiveness
- In the Lord's Prayer (Matthew 6:9-13), Jesus instructs his disciples to ask for forgiveness from God as they also forgive those who trespass against them. You can check out our resources on forgiveness if you want to know more. Forgiveness is a powerful act and a complicated subject, so it’s important to explore further if you are angry with someone or if you’d like to seek forgiveness from someone else.
- Be Peacemakers
- In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus blesses the peacemakers, stating that they will be called children of God (Matthew 5:9). To Jesus, fostering peace and resolving conflicts should be a priority.
- Admonishing a Brother
- In Matthew 18:15-17, Jesus talks about how to address conflict within a community. He suggests first going to the person privately if they've done something to hurt you against you, or if you’ve wronged them. Give them a chance to settle things with you personally. If someone is unwilling to take accountability for their wrong, it might be useful to involve others in seeking reconciliation–asking a friend to talk to someone on your behalf, for example, or going to HR if your boss or coworker isn’t willing to make something right at work.
Jesus teaches the importance of managing anger, addressing it promptly, and striving for reconciliation and forgiveness. He always advocates for a mindset of love, patience, and humility when dealing with conflict. While anger is a natural human emotion, the way it is handled and processed plays a crucial role in maintaining healthy relationships and spiritual well-being. So it’s absolutely 100% okay to be angry… even Jesus felt angry sometimes! Check out Matthew 21 and Mark 11 for proof. Just be intentional about how you act when you’re angry.
What are some of the reasons why we get mad at God?
Have you ever wondered why we get so angry at God? That's what I want to talk about, because I can assure you that while God allows us to cry out to Him, He doesn't want us stuck in rage towards Him.
The main reason we get so upset with God is that we think He owes us something. This usually happens in two ways:
1. We don't get something we want.
Have you ever really wanted a relationship with that perfect girl or guy? Or you really wanted that job you knew for certain would be perfect for you? When these things didn't work out, you no doubt found yourself hurt and disappointed. Our first impulse is almost always to blame God.
Daphne wrote: When we get mad at God it is really like a 2-year-old throwing a fit because Mommy or Daddy won't let them stick their finger in the light socket. The 2-year-old can only see what he/she wants, the parent sees the bigger picture, and the danger. When we are mad at God we show our immaturity, ignorance, and our shortsightedness.
2. We get something we DON'T expect.
When something bad happens to someone we love, or to us, or someone gets really sick, or even dies we wonder why these things have to happen. We think of God as a big genie in the sky who should only give us good things and prevent the bad.
I received a comment from someone who said: Some people wonder why their lives end up being a certain way, and they blame God for it, because if God really cared for them, then He wouldn't let them suffer.
We think, "If God is so loving, why am I in so much pain? Is He punishing me for no reason by allowing horrible things to happen to me, or the people I love, or even the world?"
3. We think God owes us something.
Both of these situations can make a person feel like God doesn't care about us. After all the prayers we've prayed, God still didn't heal your brother's cancer, or get you the job you wanted.
Joe wrote: I have to admit that I am angry at God. The more I have prayed for help and guidance, the more I get nothing. He is ignoring me. It's His right to do with me what He will, but I am frustrated because I have done what I think I am supposed to do and yet no response, no help.
We get angry when we think God owes us something. When in fact, God owes us nothing.
A couple of other reasons:
- We get angry with God when we don't know all the facts. It's so easy to think we know everything, but we can only see a very small part of the picture.
- We get angry at God when we see others claim to know Him, and then act like hypocrites. It's easy to blame God for the faults of others.
These are just a few reasons why people get angry with God. Of course, there are many more.
How to Get Over Being Mad at God - Know What You Can Expect From Him.
If we think God is going to be our genie in a bottle, and make everything good in our lives, we're going to be mad at God when something bad happens. Having faith in God is not insurance against hardships.
In the Bible, Jesus says- “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)
So what can we expect from God?
- His Peace - If we trust in Him and believe in Him we will have peace even in the hard times. Do you want to know how to find this peace? Begin Your Journey To Peace with this great resource from Peace With God.
- God Wins in the End - This world is full of sin, hate and death and that comes from the enemy, Satan, not from God. However, for all those who believe in Jesus, there is glorious, eternal life in heaven.
- His Comfort - He promises to be near those who are hurting. "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." (Psalm 34:18)
- His love - He promises His love for us. "God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him." (1 John 4:16) He loves your heart and is with you in the midst of whatever your circumstances.
- Life with greater meaning and significance - If we got everything we thought we wanted, we'd be spoiled and selfish. God is a wise father who knows what we need to become the best men and women we can be.
What can you do when you are mad at God?
1. Tell him how you feel.
The best thing you can do is tell God what you're angry about. He wants to hear from you about what you're thinking and feeling. Tell God honestly where you are at. God knows what's going on inside of you, but He wants to you be able to come to Him with honesty and openness.
2. Place the blame for evil on Satan, not on God.
God is good and Holy and perfect and loving. He is the opposite of evil. You may be mad at God because he didn't prevent the bad from happening to you, but he is not to blame for the bad thing, Satan is. Jesus says in the Bible "The thief’s purpose is to steal, kill and destroy. My purpose is to give life in all its fullness." (John 10:10)
3. Pray for courage, strength and peace to make it through the day.
Betsy wrote: I find it easiest to leave everything in God's hands and pray that he will care for me and do what's BEST for me, not what I want, but what is best. It's very hard, and I have trouble with that at times, but that is my overall goal.
4. Trust that God will use a hardship for something beyond what you can see.
So can God use everything we go through for a greater purpose? I believe He can. Ask God for understanding to see the bigger picture. Over time, you may see more clearly how God used your trial for good.
Jill wrote honestly: I feel like I have a daily tug of war with God. I know everything happens for a reason, but when you're lonely, broke, bored, and feel helpless, it is really hard to say, okay God, I know you're doing this for a reason.
Betsy echoed Jill's thoughts: After many trials, I learned that it is best to accept what God has done and believe that it is for my good, whether I like it or not.
Believing He does have a reason for everything we go through helps us to trust that something bigger is going on here, even more than we can probably understand. But I'm not God, He is. And I'm just going to trust that He knows what's going on with me.
5. Get involved in other people's lives.
A lot of our anger and frustration in life comes from thinking about ourselves too much - we think about the way things are and how different they are from how we wish they'd be.
Yevgenia wrote: One of the best things I have learned while going through this is God won't put you through something unless he knows you will be able to overcome it. Another way I have used these things in a positive way is by using my experiences to help others who are going through similar things in their lives.
The best way to find joy and peace from the hardships of life is to get involved in other people's lives. Take an interest in other people and their circumstances. Share in their joy and their pain.
6. Decide to have a relationship with God.
The Bible says the only way to know God is by knowing His son, Jesus. Jesus was basically God with skin-on and gave us a way to know who He is, His love, and how to be in a relationship with Him.
Lucas wrote: Sometimes only God will know why He has allowed a trial and sometimes He will reveal its purpose to us. Sometimes it's because He is preparing us for a greater thing. Sometimes it is to show us how little we truly love Him, and to allow us to change. Trials give us an opportunity to build our faith in a way nothing else can.
How have you dealt with your own personal anger toward God? I'd love to hear from you. Please let me know how you got over being upset with God.
It’s hard to have faith when life is hard, but God understands your pain. For more help read this blog: Life is Hard, God Understands
For more on reconciling the goodness of God and bad things in the world read these blogs from organizations we partner with:
All I know is that I can't find any love for God and Jesus. I never had much, and now I have even less, and my "life" just keeps getting worse. I'm disabled and in chronic pain . When I relate everything that has happened to me, most people don't believe me. And I feel that God is doing all this to me. I'm a sinner but not as bad as others by far. I don't have any faith that God will help me. All I expect is more pain and unhappiness. I barely exist on my $900 a month disability. People tell me to go out and do something. I can't afford cable for the TV so what am I supposed to do. I'm sick of all this and just wish God would leave me alone. I really don't expect to ever have any hope
Ask God to give you mote love for Him ❤
I have prayed an prayed, we can't afford to get married so we live in sin, I am depressed, we have nothing an noone, God doesn't answer me, I'm angry as I threw my Bible across the room an that upsets me even more, I've lost all hope in everything, hold steadfast, what kind of advice is that when all u get since the day of your birth an for 42 years be in constant pain an battle,without love without happyness without dreams without hope because everyone u have hope it gets shattered just as quick, it's not god's fault but when your prayers for years an years come to nothing u start to lose hope an dreams, might aswel stay depressed or do away with yourself in this life coz what's the point,I'm always gonna have nothing an noone an be a nobody,always slagged off,abused an ignored,might aswel die
Romans 2:11 says "god has no respect of persons." Has anybody seen the meme where there are two different fed up wives who evict their husbands by throwing their stuff out of the house? The one woman who was impulsive just threw her husband's clothes out of the house and all over the lawn whereas the second woman folded up her former spouse's clothes in nice, neat piles and carefully placed them on the front step before changing the locks to the house. The first woman took back her abusive husband whereas the second lady decided she'd had enough abuse and neglect thus making her decision based on some level of poise and rationality. What the bible calls "pride," which is also one of the seven sins, I call Self-Respect. "god owes (me) nothing," not even respect? Well, I guess that's my cue to leave.
"I don't fear hell and I don't care if I get into heaven."
- Katharine Hepburn
I understand all this, I have had trials since the day I was born, my family don't love me, been in and out of care all my life, been bullied domesticly abused raped lost children, lost homes, I've even overcome drug an alcohol abuse for 10 or so years now, failed relationships, always taking on other people's problems, and I've been in a relationship with someone for 4years now, his partner died before I came along, I love him very much but I've had nothing but grief from his kids who she left behind selfishly from alcohol abuse that's how she died, I've been regular to the grave with them, I've took abuse been penalised by his an my family,we have been deserted by everyone, we want to get married because I love God an don't want to live in sin, I have prayed everyday for situation to change, social services were involved an he could've lost his daughter but I worked hard to help an now after 2 long years there not involved now, but all he does is argue with me an blames me for our pottless situation,I've given up my home everything to become a family for that little girl an when we argue he thinks I have other plans which I don't, I pray everyday for God to help but situation has got worse, I want to get married I want to move from his home that he lived in with his partner,it's not my home an I feel I'm living in her shoes,it's not my life, I have strong faith always and I'm now losing it,I'm angry with God an that bothers me and I can't run away as have nothing or noone and I thought I was being taught something by God but I feel it's punishment, where is he because I'm starting to wonder
I see you didn't reply to my question concerning God shirking his responsibilities. Well, answer me this, who's responsible for a child born into an abusive family? The God who decided to put them there, or the parents He knew would treat the child poorly? I ask because I was one such individual. When I was younger I dared ask "Why did God do this to me?" The reply I got was "Don't blame God for what your parents did". When I pointed out that God was the one who put me there, knowing what would happen, I was told to stop my blasphemy. If you're going to answer my question with platitudes, just delete, because I've heard them all.
As for the hell I spent my youngest years in, you wouldn't believe me if I told you. No one else who was a so called "Christian" has yet.
Wayne,
We are sorry you have gone through this incredible amount of pain in your life. It is understandable that you are experiencing anger toward God. What we would like to do is to offer you an email mentor that you could talk about this long-term. It would be someone that you can email with back and forth about what you described in your comment or anything else that is going on in your life. To sign up for an email mentor, please go to: https://www.thehopeline.com/emailmentors/
I get that.
God can look down the timeline of life and see how things will play out. Makes a decision contrary to our prayers and we are stuck with the result.
Free will my a77.
If God wants me to find him and his will, why has he turned my life into a long game of hide-and-seek and made himself impossible to locate? Why does he always play hard to get? An earthly father loves his children, wants to be with them and play with them. He doesn't hide from them and make them do all the work in the relationship. Why isn't God more like that?
And I know God isn't responsible for any of my hardships and trials. I simply want him to help me understand why, and not let me suffer in the silence of his neverending absence.
God isn’t serving you. Why remain attached to a belief that doesn’t serve you in return. Please ignore anyone who says God doesn’t owe you anything. If what you are doing doesn’t serve you in some capacity you can change that situation.
I know if no woman who would stay with an abusive husband. Are we not the bride to God?
Very well said.