I talk a lot about how people seem to be in such a hurry to rush into a dating relationship. I always emphasize how important it is to develop a strong friendship as a foundation before heading into romance. Say you've done this, what's next?
Lucy asked our first 'best guy friend' question:
Does my best guy friend like me as more than just a friend? And how do I know if he is falling in love with me?
Maybe you are wondering, "Is this really love?"
Friendship and dating are very important. In the end, best friends make great marriages. That being said, since you didn't say what your feelings are for this guy, I'm guessing you don't have romantic feelings for him. So for him, this is unquestionably a very delicate situation.
If he is actually falling in love with you, he's probably scared and nervous about you finding out, since he doesn't know how you'll respond.
He doesn't want to do anything to jeopardize the friendship you already have. That's a good thing. Friendships are priceless and need protecting and nurturing so they will grow.
How to Know if a Friend Has Feelings for You
Here are a couple of questions you may want to ask yourself:
1. When you talk with your friend about other people who you are dating, or are interested in, is he supportive and encouraging, or does he become quiet and distant?
- A friend will be supportive, but someone whose emotions are clouded with the possibility of being in love will tend to have a more emotional response.
2. Does he want to spend time only with you, or is he okay doing things with you and others?
- A friend is willing to share you with others, but someone who is trying to balance their emotional feelings toward you may tend to be a bit more possessive.
In the end, you will need to communicate with each other and define what your relationship really is.
Even though it may hurt him, if you don't have the same feelings for him that he has for you, knowing the truth is always better than not.
However you feel about him, I'm sure what you tell him will be filled with love and respect. After all, a good close friend of the opposite sex is priceless.
Rebecca brings us our next question about moving from friendship to dating:
How can you tell if the friendship should go to the next level?
The decision to take a friendship to the next level, from friendship to a dating relationship, has to be mutual. Both sides have to agree that they want to go deeper with the other person.
These Things Have to Be Talked Out.
Unless they are talked out, there can be confusion and hurt feelings. So whoever brings up the subject has put themselves in somewhat of a vulnerable position. Yet, good friendships can endure these trying times.
The Best Thing I Can Tell You is to Be Patient.
Let the relationship grow, and when you feel like you're ready, I'd encourage you to find a time when the two of you are alone, and try bringing up the topic. With a friendship based on honesty and trust, you will be able to face the challenge of being vulnerable.
The Right Thing to Say:
Try saying something like, "You're a great friend, and I don't ever want that to change. And honestly, I've always wondered if this friendship would ever turn into something deeper. But I'm not sure how we would know. Do you have any ideas?" Asking him for his opinion is a great way to show you value what he thinks and feels, and you'll find out if you're on track.
Let's assume for a moment that your guy friend agrees with you about taking the relationship to the next level. What then should you do? I would encourage you to sit down together and make a list of the things you have been doing that have made your friendship so strong. Commit to keep doing them, and your relationship will automatically grow. But be extremely careful about becoming very affectionate and sexual with each other. I have seen so many potentially great relationships ruined by the misuse of sex. As someone once said, if you settle for cheap sex, you will never discover priceless love.
Life is short. So be open and honest with your feelings, but be prepared for them not to be reciprocated. But with him knowing how you feel, you very well might open the door for him to start seeing you in a different, more romantic light.
Still wondering if the feelings are mutual? Read this blog to find out if it's really love.
Mine is pretty horrible. I have a boyfriend whom ive been with for 2 years and I've sta having feelings for my best guy friend even though he just got a girlfriend to. And one of my longest lasting close friends just admitted he loves me
hi! i know its kinda weird but i think i like my best friend and he also does the same. so to be sure about it i searched the internet and came to know about many signs that show if a guy likes you and he matched almost 90% of them. And i feel like he has very protective attitude towards me and our friends always say that we make up a good couple and we both love each other but we are not realising it. so i wanted know your opinion on it. pls i need help , pls help ! and ya another thing he seems very caring , he is jst always asking if i am ok or not .
The same thing happened with me. I first confessed to my guy friend two months ago. At that time he had a girlfriend, so he felt really bad when he found out. I found out a week or two ago that I still had feelings for him and I told him. He was broken up with his girlfriend for two months at this point. I noticed the same signs that you did and my friends said the same thing.I found out last night that he loved me. Hope this helps. Good luck! 🙂
Just say something to him or have a friend talk to him for you. Maybe your friend can tell him that you like him and maybe he should ask you out. I hope this helped
Mine is kinda wierd ok so my bestfriend liked me and i didnt know but i had a little bit of feelings for her now i really like her she stoped liking me cause she said it was hopeless and now she has a boyfriend pls help pls
Hello
I'm not surehow to say this but I think that my B.F is in love whit me. but I'm not sure that my best friend is in love whit me. we talk a lot by the whatsapp and give us emoji like hugs and kisses and I'm not sure what to do. on this Saturday he invited me to go out so I'm nervous this is my first time going out with a guy. and I'm not sure what to do? the truth I feel something but I'm not sure if is friendship or love now I'm very confused
I need help please help me
Sabrina, Sorry for the delay in our reply. Relationships can be very confusing at times. We talk to many at TheHopeLine that are struggling with a relationship. We would love to listen and help you through this. Please call or chat with a HopeCoach anytime 24/7 at 800.394.4673. If you want download our free app to your phone to chat, call, email and get encouraged here is the link to download it. http://thehope.dm/thlmobileapp
hi,i wud really want to knw wat my bff thnks of me.i thnk am in love wth him,we r comfortable wth each other we kiss passionately,caress deeplybt prob is he has a girlfriend en i dnt knw how to define our relationship