Guard Your Heart Against Self-Hatred

I have talked about guarding your heart in dating relationships and now I want to talk about how to protect your heart from your own negative self-talk.  How can you guard your heart from bitterness and the lies that you tell yourself, which the world has convinced you are true?

The main principle to guarding your heart

Fill your heart with TRUTH and believe the TRUTH when the world tries to tell you LIES.

LIE - There is nothing good in my life. I have every right to be bitter. Everyone is against me.

Here is the truth: Life can be hard, but there is always something to be thankful for, and it is our choice whether we decide to look for the good around us or remain bitter. It is possible to train our minds to move from thoughts of despair to thoughts of gratitude. Start small...I am thankful for the warmth of the sun on my face, the feel of grass under my toes, the smell of coffee brewing, my comfy sweats, the ability to breathe deep, the joy of a good book or movie, etc.

By believing this truth...that there is always something you can be thankful for...your heart will be protected from the trap of overwhelming bitterness that leads to despair and hopelessness. In fact, I read a study where participants interrupted their moments of anxiety by giving thanks, and after two weeks of giving thanks, they had a 53% decrease in their stress!

Changed Thoughts = Changed Attitude

If research shows that practicing gratitude INCREASES happiness, optimism, and satisfaction with your life, isn't it worth a try?

In one study, they asked some of the participants to maintain a journal recording things for which they were grateful and a separate group of participants to record things they found annoying. When the results came back, they found that participants in the group monitoring things for which they were grateful had higher levels of well-being than the others.

It makes sense. Whatever you wire your brain to focus on, is what you are going to feel.  Grateful people shift their focus from pain and problems to the good.

Personal Experiences of Choosing Gratitude

I speak from experience on this idea of choosing gratitude over bitterness.  After my son Fulton's accident that left him paralyzed on his right side, unable to talk, and living in a nursing home, I could have chosen a life of bitterness and hung out there forever. And I'll admit, there were days early on that I did.  But then I started looking for the good...his nurses were amazing and loved him, we were able to communicate with thumbs up and down and have meaningful conversations, Fulton's story started changing other people's lives and the list goes on.

I believe that God tells us often in the Bible to give thanks because He knows that a thankful heart is a happy heart.  The Bible says, always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances.

If you are struggling with self-talk that leads you to hate yourself, please read my blogs on "5 Things to Think and Do When You Hate Yourself" and "What to Do When You Hate Yourself."