Maybe you've made some bad choices, and the gossipers are now using them against you. Our reputation can be harmed when we make poor choices at work or school, or when we hurt others in our relationships.
Perhaps you struggle with the same relationship problems over and over, or you keep falling back into harmful or addictive behaviors. All that has an impact on your reputation.
Or maybe someone is making up lies about you, simply trying to hurt you.
Gossiping is such a popular way for people to spend their time, and tragically, the damage it can do spreads like a virus, until someone's reputation is seriously damaged.
You may feel like there's no chance to counteract the horrible things they are saying. It's going to take some time, but trust me, the good news is, you can rebuild your reputation and you can recover.
Here are some ideas on how to do it:
Ignore the Negative
It is very important to stop listening to all the bad things being said about you it will only bring you down and leave you feeling discouraged and hopeless.
That was Sarah's experience: I was driving myself crazy, listening or even trying to imagine what other people were saying about me. I had to stop. Then I could finally move on.
Plan out your Future Self
Figure out what kind of person you want to be, and then work on showing that to other people. You're well aware of how you don't want people to view you. How do you want them to view you? And why?
Find a Friend you can Confide in
Find one other person you can talk to who will remind you of the person you want to be and believes the best about you. If you can't find anyone, be that person for yourself.
Are your friends adding to, or taking away, from your reputation?
Devon commented: Until I could find a good friend, I had to keep telling myself over and over I am not the person they say I am. I'm a good person and though I'm not perfect, I'm working on getting better.
Be Honest about your Mistakes
If the source of the gossip is rooted in truth, let people (especially the people you care about the most) know what is true, but that you want to change. Then, over time, go about proving it to them!
Time will usually heal a lot of difficult situations.
A New Group of Friends?
Figure out if you need a new group of friends. Are your friends adding value to, or taking away, from your reputation? If they are affecting your reputation in a negative way, you don't have to neglect, or start talking badly about them, but you might want to add some new people into your life people who are known to say encouraging and positive things.
Misty said: I found out from another friend that the people I was hanging out with were only hurting my reputation. I still care about them, but I need to be careful about what influence they might be having on me.
Show you care about Other People
Smile, and be nice to people you see. Take a genuine interest in what other people are doing or thinking. People always appreciate someone who seems to care. You'll find that people will be drawn to you, and less likely to talk badly about you.
Simply being nice to others gives you a chance to feel good about yourself, win new friends, and allow existing acquaintances to, eventually, reconsider their thoughts about you.
Make a little change
Sometimes changing something as simple as your hairstyle or your clothes will make a ton of difference in how people view you. Be creative, and don't be afraid to conform just a little bit to what seems to be the current looks.
Don't ever try to turn into something you are not!
Be patient
It takes time to build a good reputation. And even more time to rebuild a damaged one. In time, the truth about you will be known. A good reputation is hard to destroy. Who you are as a person speaks for itself. Besides, sometimes people go on with their own lives, and forget what was said about you.
David had this experience: I had people saying bad things about me. But after a while, people just kind of forgot about it. You just have to be patient and stay confident.
An additional tip to help you rebuild your reputation
If you're feeling like you need to rebuild your reputation, ask your close friends or family what they see to be your positive or negative traits. What do they think would be beneficial for you to adjust, in order to help improve your reputation?
No matter what you do to rebuild your reputation, don't ever try to turn into something you are not. Just remember to be true to yourself, and honest to your closest friends. As you seek to live the best life you can, you will be able to hold your head held high no matter what other people say about you.
Rebuild a bad reputation also by working on your self-esteem. It's possible to change what you and others think about you.
Very topical article with good advice!
Back in August 2016, I performed a minor but illegal act due to lack of knowledge of a mental illness I was quickly manifesting at that time. I was arrested for it, and since have struggled mightily with my ruined reputation. I live in a small town and gossip spreads quickly, to the point where it is eliminating any chances I have to create a career for myself. I've written letters of apology to those I feel I might have wronged during this tumultuous phase in my life. Most recently, a magazine I am/was senior writer for has received ultimatums that either I go, or they stop spending their advertising dollars with the publication. This magazine is a startup, and really can't afford to alienate potential customers that wholly support the publication through ad revenue.
I've considered writing an open letter to the entire town in the local newspaper, apologizing for my actions and behavior. I learned last evening that certain people claim they are "packing heat" in the event they inadvertently run into me. My heart is broken that I continue to run into these types of roadblocks. I have one or two people in my corner and who know me much better than a one-time stumble on my way to good mental health. However, they are the owner and senior editor for the magazine, and last night told me they were "sidelining" me for a few months because of all this.
How do I approach fixing this? It's been 9 months since everything flew apart, and yet it's like it happened yesterday. I desperately need help.
I am so sorry you are going through this. We all make mistakes and no one should continually be punished, especially when it was caused by a mental illness. I am thankful you were able to get help for it. We have trained HopeCoaches available 24/7 to chat with you about your situation. It is private and free. We would love to listen and help you figure out some solutions and ways to move forward. Simply click the "chat now" button or go to this link https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp. Hang in there!
I'm on chat now. Thank you.
I hope the chat was encouraging and helpful. You sound like you are a strong person in spite of, or maybe even because of, all you have been through. And it sounds like you are making wise choices and seeking the right kind of help.
I'm going through this as well.. its difficult when rumours are being spread around about me which is not true and is very hurting. Especially after a breakup with a celebrity he has been bad mouthing about me to others. It was a crazy moment for me. I only knew about it when the rumours reached my friend's ears and she was alerting me that others know it too and that it is pretty bad, I've deactivated social media for awhile now ever since this has happened. I hope to repair my damaged reputation. This has caused problems between me and my friends as well
im dead inside
Sociopaths who are the ones ruining your reputation are hard to get away from. I have been trying for years.