Maybe you've made some bad choices, and the gossipers are now using them against you. Our reputation can be harmed when we make poor choices at work or school, or when we hurt others in our relationships.
Perhaps you struggle with the same relationship problems over and over, or you keep falling back into harmful or addictive behaviors. All that has an impact on your reputation.
Or maybe someone is making up lies about you, simply trying to hurt you.
Gossiping is such a popular way for people to spend their time, and tragically, the damage it can do spreads like a virus, until someone's reputation is seriously damaged.
You may feel like there's no chance to counteract the horrible things they are saying. It's going to take some time, but trust me, the good news is, you can rebuild your reputation and you can recover.
Here are some ideas on how to do it:
Ignore the Negative
It is very important to stop listening to all the bad things being said about you it will only bring you down and leave you feeling discouraged and hopeless.
That was Sarah's experience: I was driving myself crazy, listening or even trying to imagine what other people were saying about me. I had to stop. Then I could finally move on.
Plan out your Future Self
Figure out what kind of person you want to be, and then work on showing that to other people. You're well aware of how you don't want people to view you. How do you want them to view you? And why?
Find a Friend you can Confide in
Find one other person you can talk to who will remind you of the person you want to be and believes the best about you. If you can't find anyone, be that person for yourself.
Are your friends adding to, or taking away, from your reputation?
Devon commented: Until I could find a good friend, I had to keep telling myself over and over I am not the person they say I am. I'm a good person and though I'm not perfect, I'm working on getting better.
Be Honest about your Mistakes
If the source of the gossip is rooted in truth, let people (especially the people you care about the most) know what is true, but that you want to change. Then, over time, go about proving it to them!
Time will usually heal a lot of difficult situations.
A New Group of Friends?
Figure out if you need a new group of friends. Are your friends adding value to, or taking away, from your reputation? If they are affecting your reputation in a negative way, you don't have to neglect, or start talking badly about them, but you might want to add some new people into your life people who are known to say encouraging and positive things.
Misty said: I found out from another friend that the people I was hanging out with were only hurting my reputation. I still care about them, but I need to be careful about what influence they might be having on me.
Show you care about Other People
Smile, and be nice to people you see. Take a genuine interest in what other people are doing or thinking. People always appreciate someone who seems to care. You'll find that people will be drawn to you, and less likely to talk badly about you.
Simply being nice to others gives you a chance to feel good about yourself, win new friends, and allow existing acquaintances to, eventually, reconsider their thoughts about you.
Make a little change
Sometimes changing something as simple as your hairstyle or your clothes will make a ton of difference in how people view you. Be creative, and don't be afraid to conform just a little bit to what seems to be the current looks.
Don't ever try to turn into something you are not!
Be patient
It takes time to build a good reputation. And even more time to rebuild a damaged one. In time, the truth about you will be known. A good reputation is hard to destroy. Who you are as a person speaks for itself. Besides, sometimes people go on with their own lives, and forget what was said about you.
David had this experience: I had people saying bad things about me. But after a while, people just kind of forgot about it. You just have to be patient and stay confident.
An additional tip to help you rebuild your reputation
If you're feeling like you need to rebuild your reputation, ask your close friends or family what they see to be your positive or negative traits. What do they think would be beneficial for you to adjust, in order to help improve your reputation?
No matter what you do to rebuild your reputation, don't ever try to turn into something you are not. Just remember to be true to yourself, and honest to your closest friends. As you seek to live the best life you can, you will be able to hold your head held high no matter what other people say about you.
Rebuild a bad reputation also by working on your self-esteem. It's possible to change what you and others think about you.
My parents don't undersand me. They're usually making the choices for me. Because they think that I am passionate about nothing, which I am, and they want to help me. But I don't. All they make me do is things that I don't want to do. Like playing the piano. Or when they won't allow me to socialise with people, or go to parties. They want me to be that innocent little girl which I don't want to be. What should I do?
I am 11 years old and many people at school are mean to me. i am an average size and have a sturdy body. I am 5' 4. I have no social problems but sometimes people are mean because i am not popular. I need to have them WANTING to be around me, please help
Same here. But what happened with me once was that it was sports day and my sports teacher wanted us to be rolling around in the mud like slugs. People in my class saw and soon there were rumours all about me saying that I had lost my reputation. From that day forward everyone hated me.
you dont have it that bad, i used to get slammed into lockers and made fun of every single day recess was the worst part of growing up.
I am under a lot of stress for several years now due to my destroyed reputation。People who were under my management started spreading lies about me which had destroyed my reputation at work. I decided to resign because i cant take the stares and criticisms anymore but it didnt stop since it went viral as well coz they talked about me on facebook, we transferred residence and yet this bad reputation followed me to a point that i am afraid to leave our house. Everytime i will go out, even to fetch my kids from school, people around the neighborhood would say that i went out to steal. This lie even spread in my sons school and i cant really take it anymore. Please help me.......
You have to stay positive that things will turn around for you. Make changes in your life so your not in that situation again. Be honest with yourself and your living the life that you are displaying to everyone. Don't give up. Good luck.
You are not the only one. Dont let them know it affects you ,because they will go on with it.
In recent years I have been suffering from irritable bowel syndrome, and my stomach makes these loud noises, and I have been doing my best to eat healthier and exercise since then. But I have been hearing rumors, and I seem to be getting a "fart girl" reputation in my neighbourhood. I have explained my situation to people, including ex-coworkers that its my stomach, but they do not believe me. I am just trying to get past this, its hard hearing about bad things being said about me, especially since i feel like i didn't do any harm to anybody. I hope in time it will go away, but I'm glad I read this article. This situation feels really bad, but I am doing my best to move forward, since life is to short to worry about other people who don't care and who don't bother to get to know the real you.
See a holistic practitioner.
I read this because I was looking for strategies to start over after a 15 year relationship with a controlling abuser type. Everything I've known with him was all loose ends- we even ended up living in a town 70 miles from my hometown (isolation to continue abuse) where I don't know anyone and after 5 years the only thing that has worked out is my concurrent enrollment to finish my BA at the university near by- which will be done this coming year! I am an outsider in this small town- many of the jobs I have been offered I had to decline or dropped because my ex would have not decided to work- instead it would be me and the state and continued charity and welfare supporting us! Or he'd wait for ways to spend my student loans- the first year I went back to school, I knew he was a total manipulator! He wanted my loans to buy music gear and get a computer. I finally got clear of him with the help of a woman's organization and now he's Mr. Superdad- a guy who couldn't have given a hoot about our kids before! But while I was with him, I tried many churches, felt lonely, alone and unwelcome in places I tried to make inroads- and then I realized: I really looked sorta desperate and I'm sure quite poor! Not in rags poor, but sorta slovenly poor and I was probably emotionally unhinged around my kids and couldn't stay focused.
I now realize I need to try something different or change something to maybe fit in a bit better- to have people in this uptight community at least greet me more warmly! Sometimes we choose people to have in our lives that drive OTHER people away: that's what my ex is like- people think he's weird or "off" because he is- he's a big arrogant man-child who has sucked me and my family dry of resources and acted like HE was being persecuted! He's told me he is active in "father's rights" readings and stuff like that- I always had thought he had a misogynist streak, but once I had him thrown out of here I knew that I was more than right- he'll never own up to it! Thanks for the advice- I want to make a difference in my life and the lives of my children.
We are so proud of you!!! What an incredible story of survival and victory! Thank you for sharing your story and your wisdom. If you need extra encouragement or just someone to chat with anytime 24/7 we are here to cheer you on! http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/