Maybe you've made some bad choices, and the gossipers are now using them against you. Our reputation can be harmed when we make poor choices at work or school, or when we hurt others in our relationships.
Perhaps you struggle with the same relationship problems over and over, or you keep falling back into harmful or addictive behaviors. All that has an impact on your reputation.
Or maybe someone is making up lies about you, simply trying to hurt you.
Gossiping is such a popular way for people to spend their time, and tragically, the damage it can do spreads like a virus, until someone's reputation is seriously damaged.
You may feel like there's no chance to counteract the horrible things they are saying. It's going to take some time, but trust me, the good news is, you can rebuild your reputation and you can recover.
Here are some ideas on how to do it:
Ignore the Negative
It is very important to stop listening to all the bad things being said about you it will only bring you down and leave you feeling discouraged and hopeless.
That was Sarah's experience: I was driving myself crazy, listening or even trying to imagine what other people were saying about me. I had to stop. Then I could finally move on.
Plan out your Future Self
Figure out what kind of person you want to be, and then work on showing that to other people. You're well aware of how you don't want people to view you. How do you want them to view you? And why?
Find a Friend you can Confide in
Find one other person you can talk to who will remind you of the person you want to be and believes the best about you. If you can't find anyone, be that person for yourself.
Are your friends adding to, or taking away, from your reputation?
Devon commented: Until I could find a good friend, I had to keep telling myself over and over I am not the person they say I am. I'm a good person and though I'm not perfect, I'm working on getting better.
Be Honest about your Mistakes
If the source of the gossip is rooted in truth, let people (especially the people you care about the most) know what is true, but that you want to change. Then, over time, go about proving it to them!
Time will usually heal a lot of difficult situations.
A New Group of Friends?
Figure out if you need a new group of friends. Are your friends adding value to, or taking away, from your reputation? If they are affecting your reputation in a negative way, you don't have to neglect, or start talking badly about them, but you might want to add some new people into your life people who are known to say encouraging and positive things.
Misty said: I found out from another friend that the people I was hanging out with were only hurting my reputation. I still care about them, but I need to be careful about what influence they might be having on me.
Show you care about Other People
Smile, and be nice to people you see. Take a genuine interest in what other people are doing or thinking. People always appreciate someone who seems to care. You'll find that people will be drawn to you, and less likely to talk badly about you.
Simply being nice to others gives you a chance to feel good about yourself, win new friends, and allow existing acquaintances to, eventually, reconsider their thoughts about you.
Make a little change
Sometimes changing something as simple as your hairstyle or your clothes will make a ton of difference in how people view you. Be creative, and don't be afraid to conform just a little bit to what seems to be the current looks.
Don't ever try to turn into something you are not!
Be patient
It takes time to build a good reputation. And even more time to rebuild a damaged one. In time, the truth about you will be known. A good reputation is hard to destroy. Who you are as a person speaks for itself. Besides, sometimes people go on with their own lives, and forget what was said about you.
David had this experience: I had people saying bad things about me. But after a while, people just kind of forgot about it. You just have to be patient and stay confident.
An additional tip to help you rebuild your reputation
If you're feeling like you need to rebuild your reputation, ask your close friends or family what they see to be your positive or negative traits. What do they think would be beneficial for you to adjust, in order to help improve your reputation?
No matter what you do to rebuild your reputation, don't ever try to turn into something you are not. Just remember to be true to yourself, and honest to your closest friends. As you seek to live the best life you can, you will be able to hold your head held high no matter what other people say about you.
Rebuild a bad reputation also by working on your self-esteem. It's possible to change what you and others think about you.
My new Boss(from last 6 months) had a very positive mindset about me .
But from last few days, he's very upset because of my casual approach towards work .
Now due to the same my promotion is cancelled , rather he has given me ultimatum of 3 months to prove my mettle .
I need to prove myself to him in next 3 months time, otherwise I have to face rejection .
How to go ahead ?
Please guide ..
I'm far more difficult to change.. This all because of untrusted. I was damaged by a person who think they know me very well.. but infact they wasn't! First of all, and also my nightmare began, they secretly installed a spyware on my phone and stole all my personal data include photo, msg, call list, contact, email they can even use my phone GPS to track my actual location. Finally they share all my personal content like photo etc. To varieties of community...seriously damaged my personal life, image and broke my heart deeply.. eventually i became a weird guys from others points of view, the most importantly I lost lot of friendships, career opportunities, and respectful that every mankind should have.. I became freedom less, being watched all the time, loosing self confidence, and finally no privacy at all.. since my current situation i can't even do any things to against the hackers.. it was incredibly harmful my life..
You can do a lot against this person. It sounds like you know who it is. The first step is to take your phone in to have it serviced. They can remove the app that was downloaded and/or replace your phone. I would have your laptop serviced as well. The second step is to take the evidence you have and file a police report for stalking and harassment. This is beyond an advice column or site. You have been personally and legally violated. You have rights.
Now i am experiancing worst conditions,
in my school my teachers never pay attention to me,
my frnds r the worst,
in front of whole class they r giving bad examples of mine n insulting me in front of all,
they r not my frnds they r my enemy,
i just need someone to guide me
I've been there, try to command respect from people, if that doesn't work try not to take them seriously
It's the first month of school and I've already kissed four guys. I started dating a guy after the first week and when that ended three weeks later I was really sad. Not only because I thought we really liked each other but because he already started flirting with other girls by the time school ended the day we broke up. So I asked my friend to ask him if she could see if he wanted to get back together with me. She didn't want to but she did anyway because she is my best friend and she is just that kinda person who is selfless. Anyway, he told her he didn't want to and I was upset. Not just because he didn't want to get back together but because I let him take things to far with me physically and I regretted it completely. That weekend I hung out with the same friend and she wanted to go meet up with one of my guy friends from school and his other friend who was also a guy. This other guy was kind of an asshole to me and after a while my friend dared me to kiss our friend from school. I was emotional and being an idiot and for some reason i did it. i only kissed him for about a second but it was still a kiss. Then she dared me to kiss the other guy and I kissed him too. After, I felt like a total slut and I felt terrible. The next day my friend from school told me that this sophmore had a crush on me. I actually really liked him before but I couldn't act on it because I had a boyfriend. He hinted at me that he was going to ask me out but I told him I wasn't ready to date yet. Later that same week, I told him I was ready to date again because I was totally over my previous boyfriend. I told him I wanted to take things really slow though. The next day we were hanging out with some friends and he told me he wanted to talk to me out in the hall. I said sure and when we went in the hall he asked me if I was sure i was ready. I said yes and he kissed me. It was obvious we kissed when we went back in. My best friend then told me that she thought i was moving too fast and being the idiot I am, I ignored her because I liked the feeling of being liked again by a guy. Plus, I really did like him. Today, he wanted to go make out again during lunch and I said fine. His friend took us down to this band room and put down the blinds. it was really awkward though and i could hear everything that was going on outside so i told him that we should go. However, when we came out and started talking to the other friend who was waiting outside (awkward, i know), even people who wasn't there when we came out of the room looked at us funny. I got this pit in my stomach and I went to go find some of my girl friends. I found my best friend and I hung out with her for a while. later that day I was texting her and could tell something was off.i decided to ask her what was going on. She told me that not only did someone tell her that I said something about her that wasnt true, but she also told me that she was dissapointed with the choices I made. I felt terrible because I knew she was right. I don't know what had gotten into me before. And now I have a guy that I really like and I have to brake up with him because of my past. Everyone considers me a slut now. I don't know what to do. I jumped at the chance to be loved like the characters in the movies and books that I have read and I ended up hurting myself and my friends in the process. I feel like such an idiot.
I have been under a lot of pressure a former colleague who hated me from day one spread rumours that stopped me from gaining work in public sector and education. I don't know what to do, everything I've studied for, worked is in taters. I don't know if I'll ever get in to education. I had thought setting myself up as an adult tutor but now it's going to be very hard to get in to. What do I do.