In my blog, "How to Quit Cutting for Good", I talked about 3 alternative coping strategies for self-harm: Talk it out, wake up to your actual feelings, and seek God.
Once you decide you're committed to stop cutting, you will find out what a struggle it is to go sober and stay free from this horrible addiction. Even as you are beginning to recover, you still will feel the cravings to cut again. You are going to need to be prepared to know how to deal with those powerful urges. Here are some practical ideas to help you or someone you know be set free.
Stop feeding the cutting monster - wait it out
Every urge you have to cut will go away in time, but only if you don't act on it. Each time you act on your urge to cut, you're making that urge stronger kind of like feeding a monster. Each time you feed the addiction, the more likely you will feel the urge to cut the next time you feel the same emotional pressure. The more you stand against the urge, without giving in, the more your urges will decrease.
Distract yourself from the desire to cut
One of the best ways to stop cutting is by distracting yourself with someone or something else. This will allow the moment to pass when you're feeling the deep cravings to cut and get your mind off of it. It's impossible for your mind to think about two things at the exact same time. Here are some ideas on how to do this.
- Call a friend or meet them in person. Talk about what's comfortable for you. The key is to keep talking.
- Take a shower. This will help invigorate your body so physically it too is distracted. (Make sure there are no razors in the shower).
- Exercise Walk, run, ride your bike, climb, swim, do yoga, etc. While you are exercising, your mind is more likely to think about something other than cutting.
- Play with a pet. Take your dog for a walk.
- Watch television or a non-violent, healthy movie.
- Make yourself a sandwich, drink a glass of water or a cup of hot chocolate.
- Listen to positive music. It will definitely help to change your mood.
- Write in your journal. Learn to express your feelings through writing.
- Create art or some kind of creative hobby.
- Volunteer somewhere like a nursing home, or a hospital. In fact, getting a job will help as well. Some people cut out of sheer boredom.
Natalia put it this way: I still fight the urges, but the way I deal with it is by writing in my journal or talking to my best friend and boyfriend who are currently helping me through this.
The point is: Find something else to do. If none of these ideas are possible at the moment, try finding a substitute for the cutting sensation.
- Rub an ice cube on your skin, instead of cutting.
- Wear a rubber band on your wrist and snap it when you feel the urge.
- Draw on your skin with a red marker or food coloring in the place you would normally cut.
- Put temporary tattoos in the places you have the urge to cut.
Angel said rubber bands have helped her. I've learned that snapping them against your wrist takes away a little bit of the amount to want to cut yourself. Ali said the key for her was she needed something physical to feel like she was still alive, that she was OK. So, I mark a little pink heart on my calendar for every day I don't cut...and believe it or not it helps. Help is possible and stopping is realistic.
Tell your story
The biggest problem with a cutting addiction is it forces you to focus on how YOU are feeling. Stop thinking about yourself so much and focus on other cutters who need your help. The more you can reach out to others, encouraging them to find better ways to express their feelings, the better you will be able to resist your own urges. Courtney said: I'm proud to be able to tell people my story of overcoming my self-destructive behavior. Every day is a struggle, but I always choose to find hope in the darkest situations and fight the urge.
Think About your Future without Cutting and Self-Harm
You have an incredible life ahead of you, filled with many, many years of potential joy and time with people you love, and who love you as well. Think about what you'd like your life to look like in 5, 10, 15 years, and start taking steps to move forward in that direction.
Abby is 25, and she sees hope in her future: If I don't stop cutting, then a lot of the things I want aren't going to work out the way I dream they will.
Cyndal said: I thought about when I have children, and they see the cuts and scars on my arms, and they ask me, 'Mommy what are those booboos on your arms?' That really made me think, 'WOW, what would I tell my children?' And it made me cry for a really long time"
I want to encourage you to be strong like Amanda. She said: It's a challenge every day, but I am fighting to not cut, because I know that my life can be really awesome, and cutting does not fit into that picture. When you feel your emotions building up, remember you now have alternatives to self-harm. Get self-help by talking to someone who cares.
Be strong. There is tremendous hope for you!
i miss cutting. i dont have much to say. just its been about 2 months and i miss it. im sorry
thats fine, really.i was clean for a year, i missed it but being clean is a huge step from beaing stray from the addiction of self harm. 2 months is a lot. Good Job!
I am 14, i cut my thighs and just started to cut my wrists I don't know what to do anymore I've been trying to stop but everything i do don't work. I've only been doing it for a short while but somehow it seems to help me feel. I just don't want to hurt my loved ones anymore i just want to get better. Can anyone HELP?
Thanks for opening up here and for reaching out for help. You can chat with one of our HopeCoaches anytime 24/7 https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/ We are here to help you.
Hi. My friend is only 12 and she has the urge to cut herself and I don't know what to do to help her.
On the other hand I always feel the need to cut myself but I never have (I'm 13 btw). The most prominent though is suicide and I have attempted it four times. I fake my smile every day and lie almost the whole day about how I feel. I had anxiety which I went to go see a theripist and they though I was cured but it hasn't gone away. My whole family is christian and they think I'm fine and I have no problems, I was and sort am christian but god hasn't talked or done anything for the past year and I can't even feel any hope.. It feels like there's nothing left to live for apart from my parents and my friend.
You sound like a really good friend. You can chat with a HopeCoach about how to help your friend and also about your anxiety and depression. We care about you and we are here to help you. Just click on the "Chat Now" - https://www.thehopeline.com/GetHelp/
Wow. I am so sorry but I want you to know there is always something to live for. I am also sort of a Christian and I have had the same struggles as you with God feeling like he is really there for me. I am sixteen and I cut. I have been trying to quit and I have for periods of times but I always go backwards. I have contemplated suicide but I am trying to convince myself that we are all here for some reason. I think we are and I am trying to get back to my faith. Sometimes it helps to talk to Him because it feels like someone is there. I really hope you find your reason to live for yourself. I am here to if you want to talk. Thanks for sharing your story.
I started cutting when I was nine. I had stopped for a month. But just recently I had the worst panic attack at school. I had nothing to cut myself with. I broke a glass bottle and cut myself with the edges. I don't even know what to do anymore. My arm is covered with scars, and so are my thighs. I always wear jackets and long sleeves but I just can't do it anymore.
I am sixteen years old and I started cutting before my junior year of high school. I have not been doing it for long but I already have a lot of scars. I truly started self harming about two years ago. I would bite myself. I would bite so hard I would leave marks for hours. But I got my braces off and biting stopped hurting. I was driving home and I broke a spoon and just dug it into my skin the first time I cut. The last time up to this point was yesterday. I have been having really bad panic attacks and last night I was shaking for an hour before I cut. It just calms me down and helps me breathe. It is a horrible coping strategy I have developed and I really want to stop. My parents know. My mom saw it because I took my bracelets off one day and she saw them. I lied to her at first but eventually I gave in. When she found out, she told me I was just doing it to seek attention She doesn't know that I still do it. But I really want to stop. I was talking to a guy I have known since I was six months old. He moved to Texas and we only talk over text and snap chat. I was just sending him a picture of the floor but he saw the blood dripping on my arm. He figured it out pretty quickly and told me "I need to stop." I know I do and I am trying. I hadn't cut in a month and a half before this incident. Today I told him I need help to stop. He is going to help me. What really got through to me was him saying "I will be better when you stop." I keep feeling like no one cares about me and that my "friends" aren't really my friends. Even though we haven't seen each other in three years, he still cares. I am going to stop but I don't know how. I want to stop, I just don't quite know how.
Thank you for reaching out for help. We are here to help you break the bonds of self-harm. We have trained HopeCoaches that will listen and connect you with a resource to overcome your desire to cut. Go to http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp to chat with a HopeCoach anytime.