Resisting the Urge to Cut Yourself

In my blog, "How to Quit Cutting for Good", I talked about 3 alternative coping strategies for self-harm: Talk it out, wake up to your actual feelings, and seek God. 

Once you decide you're committed to stop cutting, you will find out what a struggle it is to go sober and stay free from this horrible addiction.  Even as you are beginning to recover, you still will feel the cravings to cut again. You are going to need to be prepared to know how to deal with those powerful urges. Here are some practical ideas to help you or someone you know be set free.

Stop feeding the cutting monster - wait it out

Every urge you have to cut will go away in time, but only if you don't act on it. Each time you act on your urge to cut, you're making that urge stronger kind of like feeding a monster. Each time you feed the addiction, the more likely you will feel the urge to cut the next time you feel the same emotional pressure. The more you stand against the urge, without giving in, the more your urges will decrease.

Distract yourself from the desire to cut

One of the best ways to stop cutting is by distracting yourself with someone or something else. This will allow the moment to pass when you're feeling the deep cravings to cut and get your mind off of it. It's impossible for your mind to think about two things at the exact same time. Here are some ideas on how to do this.

  1. Call a friend or meet them in person. Talk about what's comfortable for you. The key is to keep talking.
  2. Take a shower. This will help invigorate your body so physically it too is distracted. (Make sure there are no razors in the shower).
  3. Exercise Walk, run, ride your bike, climb, swim, do yoga, etc. While you are exercising, your mind is more likely to think about something other than cutting.
  4. Play with a pet. Take your dog for a walk.
  5. Watch television or a non-violent, healthy movie.
  6. Make yourself a sandwich, drink a glass of water or a cup of hot chocolate.
  7. Listen to positive music. It will definitely help to change your mood.
  8. Write in your journal. Learn to express your feelings through writing.
  9. Create art or some kind of creative hobby.
  10. Volunteer somewhere like a nursing home, or a hospital. In fact, getting a job will help as well. Some people cut out of sheer boredom.

Natalia put it this way: I still fight the urges, but the way I deal with it is by writing in my journal or talking to my best friend and boyfriend who are currently helping me through this.

The point is: Find something else to do. If none of these ideas are possible at the moment, try finding a substitute for the cutting sensation.

  1. Rub an ice cube on your skin, instead of cutting.
  2. Wear a rubber band on your wrist and snap it when you feel the urge.
  3. Draw on your skin with a red marker or food coloring in the place you would normally cut.
  4. Put temporary tattoos in the places you have the urge to cut.

Angel said rubber bands have helped her. I've learned that snapping them against your wrist takes away a little bit of the amount to want to cut yourself. Ali said the key for her was she needed something physical to feel like she was still alive, that she was OK. So, I mark a little pink heart on my calendar for every day I don't cut...and believe it or not it helps. Help is possible and stopping is realistic.

Tell your story

The biggest problem with a cutting addiction is it forces you to focus on how YOU are feeling.  Stop thinking about yourself so much and focus on other cutters who need your help.  The more you can reach out to others, encouraging them to find better ways to express their feelings, the better you will be able to resist your own urges. Courtney said: I'm proud to be able to tell people my story of overcoming my self-destructive behavior. Every day is a struggle, but I always choose to find hope in the darkest situations and fight the urge.

Think About your Future without Cutting and Self-Harm

You have an incredible life ahead of you, filled with many, many years of potential joy and time with people you love, and who love you as well. Think about what you'd like your life to look like in 5, 10, 15 years, and start taking steps to move forward in that direction.

Abby is 25, and she sees hope in her future: If I don't stop cutting, then a lot of the things I want aren't going to work out the way I dream they will.

Cyndal said: I thought about when I have children, and they see the cuts and scars on my arms, and they ask me, 'Mommy what are those booboos on your arms?' That really made me think, 'WOW, what would I tell my children?' And it made me cry for a really long time"

I want to encourage you to be strong like Amanda. She said: It's a challenge every day, but I am fighting to not cut, because I know that my life can be really awesome, and cutting does not fit into that picture. When you feel your emotions building up, remember you now have alternatives to self-harm. Get self-help by talking to someone who cares.

Be strong. There is tremendous hope for you!

Dawson McAllister
Dawson McAllister, also known as America's youth pastor, was an author, radio host, speaker, and founder of TheHopeLine. McAllister attended Bethel College in Minnesota for undergraduate work where he graduated in 1968, began graduate studies at Talbot School of Theology in California, and received an honorary doctorate from Biola University.
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297 comments on “Resisting the Urge to Cut Yourself”

    1. Please know that you still have a lot of your life left to live. I know it seems hard right now but I promise you will get through it. I hope you know there will always be people who care about you. And nothing you care deeply about is ever going to be dumb. I just want you to know I read your story and I am here for you if you ever need someone.

  1. Im 13, and I know this is extremely dumb but I have a girlfriend, and I want to say I love her but I'm in middle school so most likely I don't even know what love is. Anyway, we've had issues lately so we decided to take a break from each other for a couple weeks. At first I thought this was a great idea because we could both turn back into the people we wanted to date because both of us had changed a lot since we started dating. Literally 3 days into this break, she starts flirting with some other guy who used to be my best friend. The next day he keeps saying he's "Mr. Steel-Your-Girl". I asked her about it and I said "Look, if you're going to leave me for him then just break up with me and stop messing with my emotions", and she responded with "I love you, and we're just friends, he's nothing to worry about". I thought that it wasn't anything to worry about but then I see her playing with his hair and now she acts like I don't even exist. I tried to talk to her a couple minutes ago just to tell her that I loved her but all she said was "Ok, I have to go". I used to cut and I've attempted suicide in the past. This has brought all those feelings back. I've started cutting again, and I've been weighing out the pros and cons of killing myself for about an hour now. I really need help and advice both on cutting and on what to do with my relationship. I will be extremely grateful if you just read this.

    1. Please chat with one of our HopeCoaches. I don't want you to feel alone in this. She really hurt you and it helps to have someone to talk to about what happened and how you are feeling. Cutting is a temporary solution. Talking to someone who cares will really help. We are available 24/7 through our APP or this link - https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp

  2. I'm 14 and have been cutting on and off for several months now. It's been getting so bad that I cut almost everyday to the point where I have cuts up and down my arms. My parents keep noticing them and I always bullshit come excuse. I want to tell my therapist but she would have to tell my parents and I don't know what to do.

    1. You can chat with one of our HopeCoaches about it. You definitely need to talk about it. We also have a partner organization called Door of Hope that is dedicated to helping you. Here is a blog about them - https://www.thehopeline.com/5-things-to-know-about-door-of-hope-help-for-self-harm and this is a link to their website http://www.doorofhope4teens.org/home.html
      You can even talk to them on the phone on these days - Sunday * Tuesday * Thursday 803.570.2061 8:30 - 10:30 pm (eastern time)

  3. I haven't cut myself in almost a year and half I think, it feels longer then that. But today I really feel dead inside... i just don't want to go back down that road again. I'm just hoping someone can just listen

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