Resisting the Urge to Cut Yourself

In my blog, "How to Quit Cutting for Good", I talked about 3 alternative coping strategies for self-harm: Talk it out, wake up to your actual feelings, and seek God. 

Once you decide you're committed to stop cutting, you will find out what a struggle it is to go sober and stay free from this horrible addiction.  Even as you are beginning to recover, you still will feel the cravings to cut again. You are going to need to be prepared to know how to deal with those powerful urges. Here are some practical ideas to help you or someone you know be set free.

Stop feeding the cutting monster - wait it out

Every urge you have to cut will go away in time, but only if you don't act on it. Each time you act on your urge to cut, you're making that urge stronger kind of like feeding a monster. Each time you feed the addiction, the more likely you will feel the urge to cut the next time you feel the same emotional pressure. The more you stand against the urge, without giving in, the more your urges will decrease.

Distract yourself from the desire to cut

One of the best ways to stop cutting is by distracting yourself with someone or something else. This will allow the moment to pass when you're feeling the deep cravings to cut and get your mind off of it. It's impossible for your mind to think about two things at the exact same time. Here are some ideas on how to do this.

  1. Call a friend or meet them in person. Talk about what's comfortable for you. The key is to keep talking.
  2. Take a shower. This will help invigorate your body so physically it too is distracted. (Make sure there are no razors in the shower).
  3. Exercise Walk, run, ride your bike, climb, swim, do yoga, etc. While you are exercising, your mind is more likely to think about something other than cutting.
  4. Play with a pet. Take your dog for a walk.
  5. Watch television or a non-violent, healthy movie.
  6. Make yourself a sandwich, drink a glass of water or a cup of hot chocolate.
  7. Listen to positive music. It will definitely help to change your mood.
  8. Write in your journal. Learn to express your feelings through writing.
  9. Create art or some kind of creative hobby.
  10. Volunteer somewhere like a nursing home, or a hospital. In fact, getting a job will help as well. Some people cut out of sheer boredom.

Natalia put it this way: I still fight the urges, but the way I deal with it is by writing in my journal or talking to my best friend and boyfriend who are currently helping me through this.

The point is: Find something else to do. If none of these ideas are possible at the moment, try finding a substitute for the cutting sensation.

  1. Rub an ice cube on your skin, instead of cutting.
  2. Wear a rubber band on your wrist and snap it when you feel the urge.
  3. Draw on your skin with a red marker or food coloring in the place you would normally cut.
  4. Put temporary tattoos in the places you have the urge to cut.

Angel said rubber bands have helped her. I've learned that snapping them against your wrist takes away a little bit of the amount to want to cut yourself. Ali said the key for her was she needed something physical to feel like she was still alive, that she was OK. So, I mark a little pink heart on my calendar for every day I don't cut...and believe it or not it helps. Help is possible and stopping is realistic.

Tell your story

The biggest problem with a cutting addiction is it forces you to focus on how YOU are feeling.  Stop thinking about yourself so much and focus on other cutters who need your help.  The more you can reach out to others, encouraging them to find better ways to express their feelings, the better you will be able to resist your own urges. Courtney said: I'm proud to be able to tell people my story of overcoming my self-destructive behavior. Every day is a struggle, but I always choose to find hope in the darkest situations and fight the urge.

Think About your Future without Cutting and Self-Harm

You have an incredible life ahead of you, filled with many, many years of potential joy and time with people you love, and who love you as well. Think about what you'd like your life to look like in 5, 10, 15 years, and start taking steps to move forward in that direction.

Abby is 25, and she sees hope in her future: If I don't stop cutting, then a lot of the things I want aren't going to work out the way I dream they will.

Cyndal said: I thought about when I have children, and they see the cuts and scars on my arms, and they ask me, 'Mommy what are those booboos on your arms?' That really made me think, 'WOW, what would I tell my children?' And it made me cry for a really long time"

I want to encourage you to be strong like Amanda. She said: It's a challenge every day, but I am fighting to not cut, because I know that my life can be really awesome, and cutting does not fit into that picture. When you feel your emotions building up, remember you now have alternatives to self-harm. Get self-help by talking to someone who cares.

Be strong. There is tremendous hope for you!

Dawson McAllister
Dawson McAllister, also known as America's youth pastor, was an author, radio host, speaker, and founder of TheHopeLine. McAllister attended Bethel College in Minnesota for undergraduate work where he graduated in 1968, began graduate studies at Talbot School of Theology in California, and received an honorary doctorate from Biola University.
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297 comments on “Resisting the Urge to Cut Yourself”

  1. I'm almost 32. I haven't cut since I was 29. I really felt the urge today but reading this helped. I've already done journaling and I'm about to listen to music. I have decided I will not cut. I can't indulge in that behavior. I cut myself for 17 years. I can't go back to that after all this time.

  2. I am so sorry you are struggling with this and that you are suffering all alone. I am really thankful you came in here and posted. It will really help if you talk to your parents and let them know how you are feeling. We have a free eBook you can download and you and your parents could read it together - http://info.thehopeline.com/selfharm We also have a great partner called "Door of Hope" - https://www.thehopeline.com/5-things-to-know-about-door-of-hope-help-for-self-harm AND you can chat with one of our HopeCoaches here at TheHopeLine anytime 24/7. It is free and totally confidential - https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp We care about you, Jazz!

  3. Im 13 years old struggling with depression and anxiety caused by being a vegetarian but were still not sure, and I do self harm it started with scratching,biting,hitting,pinching then it led to razors I try to stop but its like I stop for a few months and then the urge comes back and I cut. I fight through it everyday and Im gonna keep fighting there are times were I gave up there was even a time were I planned my own suicide and prepared a video for my loved ones and my mom found me crying in bed with all my room messed up because I had a break down and thats when it started becoming serious to my family. I was gonna go to a phycologist and I was even evaluated then my mom researched about how vegetarians become depressed and get anxiety from the lack of meat and chicken.
    But I feel like theres more to it not just being a vegetarian but I don't know I'm waiting 3 months to see if theres a difference in my mood. I see one every time I eat meat then it wares off and Im back to being the same numb person. I was someone who is really popular and has so many friends but I started distancing myself because I couldn't act like everything was okay and I need a break from everything and everyone. I hate everything about myself my anger is scary Im scared to rage in front friends which happened a few times and it wasn't pretty. Only 2 people know why I am like that and I found it better blaming my rages and my mood swings how being vegetarian causes depression and anxiety because theres now a reason why Im like this. I hate when people think Im weak, my sister and my mom scream at me sometimes because they think Im weak for hurting myself because sometimes it get bad. But now Im just numb no feelings Im ignoring the fact that Im sad and I distract myself with tv shows I get lost in them for hours and the only time Im not is if Im out with my friends and family. No one should feel alone it is our choice to feel alone or not push yourself to the people who love you and they will guide you to the right path. Your happiness lies in your hands...

    1. I am so sorry you are struggling with depression, anxiety, and cutting. And it sounds like it is about more than just being a vegetarian. The anger is definitely part of the symptoms of real depression. You can chat with a HopeCoach about how you are feeling and get some resources that will help - https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp The chat is free and it is open 24/7. We are here for you. Also, we have a great partner called Door of Hope that especially helps anyone struggling with cutting - https://www.thehopeline.com/5-things-to-know-about-door-of-hope-help-for-self-harm

  4. I'm 39, and breaking. Been looking at my skin for near an hour and want to cut it. Never had the urge as badly as I do now. I just want a distraction from my mind, and a physical pain, it may be easier than the silent inside pain from my mind

  5. I am 15 years.I hate my body cause I feel like I am fat.I cut and I want to stop but my wrist are screaming at my to cut them

    1. It really helps to talk to someone trustworthy about how you are feeling. Our HopeCoaches are online 24/7 to chat and it is totally free and confidential. We also have some really great resources who care about teens who struggle with body image and cutting. There is hope for you. Here is the link to chat https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp

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