In my blog, "How to Quit Cutting for Good", I talked about 3 alternative coping strategies for self-harm: Talk it out, wake up to your actual feelings, and seek God.
Once you decide you're committed to stop cutting, you will find out what a struggle it is to go sober and stay free from this horrible addiction. Even as you are beginning to recover, you still will feel the cravings to cut again. You are going to need to be prepared to know how to deal with those powerful urges. Here are some practical ideas to help you or someone you know be set free.
Stop feeding the cutting monster - wait it out
Every urge you have to cut will go away in time, but only if you don't act on it. Each time you act on your urge to cut, you're making that urge stronger kind of like feeding a monster. Each time you feed the addiction, the more likely you will feel the urge to cut the next time you feel the same emotional pressure. The more you stand against the urge, without giving in, the more your urges will decrease.
Distract yourself from the desire to cut
One of the best ways to stop cutting is by distracting yourself with someone or something else. This will allow the moment to pass when you're feeling the deep cravings to cut and get your mind off of it. It's impossible for your mind to think about two things at the exact same time. Here are some ideas on how to do this.
- Call a friend or meet them in person. Talk about what's comfortable for you. The key is to keep talking.
- Take a shower. This will help invigorate your body so physically it too is distracted. (Make sure there are no razors in the shower).
- Exercise Walk, run, ride your bike, climb, swim, do yoga, etc. While you are exercising, your mind is more likely to think about something other than cutting.
- Play with a pet. Take your dog for a walk.
- Watch television or a non-violent, healthy movie.
- Make yourself a sandwich, drink a glass of water or a cup of hot chocolate.
- Listen to positive music. It will definitely help to change your mood.
- Write in your journal. Learn to express your feelings through writing.
- Create art or some kind of creative hobby.
- Volunteer somewhere like a nursing home, or a hospital. In fact, getting a job will help as well. Some people cut out of sheer boredom.
Natalia put it this way: I still fight the urges, but the way I deal with it is by writing in my journal or talking to my best friend and boyfriend who are currently helping me through this.
The point is: Find something else to do. If none of these ideas are possible at the moment, try finding a substitute for the cutting sensation.
- Rub an ice cube on your skin, instead of cutting.
- Wear a rubber band on your wrist and snap it when you feel the urge.
- Draw on your skin with a red marker or food coloring in the place you would normally cut.
- Put temporary tattoos in the places you have the urge to cut.
Angel said rubber bands have helped her. I've learned that snapping them against your wrist takes away a little bit of the amount to want to cut yourself. Ali said the key for her was she needed something physical to feel like she was still alive, that she was OK. So, I mark a little pink heart on my calendar for every day I don't cut...and believe it or not it helps. Help is possible and stopping is realistic.
Tell your story
The biggest problem with a cutting addiction is it forces you to focus on how YOU are feeling. Stop thinking about yourself so much and focus on other cutters who need your help. The more you can reach out to others, encouraging them to find better ways to express their feelings, the better you will be able to resist your own urges. Courtney said: I'm proud to be able to tell people my story of overcoming my self-destructive behavior. Every day is a struggle, but I always choose to find hope in the darkest situations and fight the urge.
Think About your Future without Cutting and Self-Harm
You have an incredible life ahead of you, filled with many, many years of potential joy and time with people you love, and who love you as well. Think about what you'd like your life to look like in 5, 10, 15 years, and start taking steps to move forward in that direction.
Abby is 25, and she sees hope in her future: If I don't stop cutting, then a lot of the things I want aren't going to work out the way I dream they will.
Cyndal said: I thought about when I have children, and they see the cuts and scars on my arms, and they ask me, 'Mommy what are those booboos on your arms?' That really made me think, 'WOW, what would I tell my children?' And it made me cry for a really long time"
I want to encourage you to be strong like Amanda. She said: It's a challenge every day, but I am fighting to not cut, because I know that my life can be really awesome, and cutting does not fit into that picture. When you feel your emotions building up, remember you now have alternatives to self-harm. Get self-help by talking to someone who cares.
Be strong. There is tremendous hope for you!
Im 15 and i cut. Ive been doing it since 5 grade. My mental health issues have been with me since 3rd grade when my first suicide attempt occured. Its has been hard to get over this but i am slowly healing. I really hope i wont ever cut again. So ll do as told to get better.
That is great that you are overcoming your desire to cut. If you ever feel like you need some support and help with sellf-harm we have a partner that will help you with this at http://www.doorofhope4teens.org. Check out their website or email them at doorofhope4teens@gmail.com (answered in 24/48 hrs) You can also text them for help at 1-803-570-2061 (Alternative No. 914-393-1904) Texting is available Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday 8:30 – 10:30 EST Stay Strong! You can do this!
I'mma 15 and I don't know what do I'mma keep on cutting and I can't stop I'mma only 15 and I'mma in middle school I have been having sucide thoughts and I have been wanting to die
Im 16 years old, and I have been dealing with self-harm since i was 11 years old. I'd rather not get into details and sob stories, I just want to learn how to stop without talking to my parents about it, who dont take it seriously anyway. I try writing and distractions but they dont work every time. I use to be 1 year clean but as life is unfair, suicidal thoughts and old tendencies creep back on me and it is the worst feeling in the world to go back to bad habits. i know its not good for me, and it hurts so much while its happening, but its my first thought when the slightest inconvenience happens, and if i dont cut then i feel so agitated and sad, and people notice. i wish i never discovered this disturbing addiction, i wish none of us did.
Moe, We have a partner that will help you with your self-harm. They are at http://www.doorofhope4teens.org. Check out their website or email them at doorofhope4teens@gmail.com (answered in 24/48 hrs) You can also text them at 1-803-570-2061 (Alternative No. 914-393-1904)
im 33 and the loss of my best friend in the military is been very hard on me and tried to reach
out to my friends but been very very hard i dont know how to cope and feels if i cut again it well help relace the pain im in i feel so lost and alone n want my best friend back
i am 13 i have been cutting ever since 6th grade it was over a boy i had like 3 months clean but the feeling of cutting came back i grabbed a razor head looked up on youtube on how to get it, it worked so like i have 7 times trying to kill myself i am seeing medical help but nothing has helped none of my friends dont give a crap so i legit fight alone i need help:(
Rosangela, We care about you and want you to find help for the cutting. You don't have to do this alone. We have a partner that will help you with this at http://www.doorofhope4teens.org. Check out their website or email them at doorofhope4teens@gmail.com (answered in 24/48 hrs) You can also text them at 1-803-570-2061 (Alternative No. 914-393-1904) Texting is available Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday 8:30 – 10:30 EST